View source for Grandsome and the Monkey

This was originally posted by Grandsome himself to the forums.  I didn't have the foresight to save the date of the post, but it dates back to the end of GS3.  This is the complete story of how a monkey made a (bigger) fool out of Grandsome, unedited, in his own words.

==Grandsome and the Monkey==

Well, it just dawned on me that I'll be in boot camp during the one year anniversary of...um...The Incident. I was planning on doing some sort of reinactment, but whateryagonnado?

Anywho, I promised this log to a few people, but was always to lazy to clean it up and whatnot. And I really need an excuse to not mow the lawn right now, so, here goes.

Alot of it is edited out, because we were moving around and killin' stuff, but I left in everything of importance. Tamis is a level 7 wizard in this log.

November 15th, 2002, around 11 pm eastern.

[Zoo, Slate Path]
The tank below has a crack in its outer wall. Water that flows in from the other tanks is lost through the crack leaving this one dry. A variety of different sized skeletons of fish lie scattered about the tank. The only living thing in the tank is a small tree, growing near the center, that gathers its nourishment from the water that flows through. You also see a set of slate steps that leads down.
Also here: Tamis

[[Level]]: 42 [[Experience]]: 1611708
Next level at: 1650000 exp. Exp. until next lvl: 38292
 Family Fame: 42054899 Character Fame: 39706013
 Deeds: 100 Deaths this level: 0

::::Much moving around and killin stuff edited out, you?re welcome:::

[[Pickpocketing|You reach into Tamis's pockets]] and pull out 87 silvers.

You say, "wonder if i could kill ya in one swing?"

You ponder.

You glance at Tamis.

You ask, "ya think so?"

Tamis shudders.

Tamis says, "dont try"

You flash a wide grin.

You reach into Tamis's pockets and pull out 47 silvers.

Tamis says, "dont pick on little people"

You reach into Tamis's pockets and pull out 26 silvers.

Tamis says, "better not be stealing or oll kill ya"

You reach into Tamis's pockets and pull out 50 silvers.

You blink.

You exclaim, "me? never!"

Tamis nods.

Tamis grins evilly.

You say, "ahll let ya swing at me hard as ya can"

You say, "i has no shield too"

(This is where I thought I was big and bad because I had redux)

You reach into Tamis's all-weather cloak and pull out a yellow zircon.

You say, "swing at me"

You nod to Tamis.

You reach into Tamis's pockets and pull out 140 silvers.

You reach into Tamis's pockets and pull out 79 silvers.

Tamis says, "how about i cast"

You say, "swing"

You reach into Tamis's pockets and pull out 97 silvers.

Tamis snaps his fingers.

You grin.

You reach into Tamis's pockets and pull out 138 silvers.

Tamis swings a thick-bladed ora falchion at you!
 AS: +110 vs DS: +12 with AvD: +35 + d100 roll: +42 = +175
 ... and hits for 54 points of damage!
 Right leg ripped from socket at the knee!
You fall screaming to the ground grasping your mangled right leg!
 You are stunned for 8 rounds!

You have a completely severed right leg, and minor cuts and bruises on your back.

Bleeding:
Area Health per Round



Right leg 3

Tamis says, "ya know i could kill ya now"

Tamis grins.

Tamis says, "yas alright"

You mutter something inaudible.

You wave a hand at Tamis, dismissing him indifferently.

You exclaim, "lucky shot!"

You tuck your chin towards your chest and fall to the ground in an elegant roll. You tumble smoothly and spring to your feet, ready for action!
Roundtime: 2 sec.

Tamis says, "no, all skill"

You reach into Tamis's pockets and pull out 104 silvers.

Tamis says, "ready"

You nod.

:::More moving around?:::

[Zoo, Slate Path]
You look down into one of the pools and are momentarily startled to see a huge crayfish staring back at you with glossy black eyes. The other pool is filled with plantlife and holds a small, spring-fed fountain. This is the source of the water for the other tanks as the overflow from this one keeps the rest filled. You also see a monkey.
Also here: Tamis
Obvious paths: northeast, southeast, west

You're not in any condition to be hiding!
Roundtime: 5 sec.

Tamis just went west.

stance def...wait 2 seconds.

stance def...wait 1 seconds.

You are now in a defensive stance.

Tamis just arrived.

You are now in an offensive stance.

A monkey tries to bite you!
 AS: +75 vs DS: +12 with AvD: +50 + d100 roll: +64 = +177
 ... and hits for 37 points of damage!
 Jagged slash to your left arm!
 Cut clean through at the wrist.
 Need a hand?
 You are stunned for 4 rounds!

A monkey tries to bite you!
 AS: +75 vs DS: -8 with AvD: +50 + d100 roll: +80 = +213
 ... and hits for 102 points of damage!
 Massive blow smashes through ribs and drives your heart out the back.
You feel your extra strength departing.

It seems you have died, my friend. Although you cannot do anything, you are keenly aware of what is going on around you...

You mentally give a sigh of relief as you remember that the Goddess Lorminstra owes you a favor.

...departing in 14 mins...
The monkey hops up on Grandsome's chest and struts about triumphantly!

You say, "o?my?god"

A monkey jumps up and down on your dead body.

You ask, "this didnt happen ya hear?"

::::Much dragging edited out, you?re welcome AGAIN::::

[Citadel, Outside]
Faint swirls of mist drift by and the tall grass twines itself around your ankles, as you wade through the area. To the north you can see what appears to be a horse, while to the south you can just make out the outlines of two large bushes.
Also here: Tamis
Obvious paths: north, south

Rlen just arrived.

Tamis says, "thank god"

Lady Karly just arrived.

Tamis pants.

You exclaim, "damn spectral warrior in th zoo!"

Taluric just arrived.

Karly glances at you.

Rlen says, "Mmm hmm"

Karly exclaims, "ha!"

You exclaim, "honest!"

You ask, "wasnt there Tamis?"

Tamis says, "nope"

Taluric leans on you.

Taluric asks, "Now, what happened?"

You say, "Spectral warrior was in th zoo"

You say, "and a hag"

Tamis nods to you.

You say, "yeah"

You say, "a hag"

Now, let's never speak of this again.

Grandsome


[[Category:Humor]]