The Elanthian Historical Society
Who are we?
Founded in 5076 by Flimbo the Magnificent, Herald of the Great Kobold, The Elanthian Historical Society is Elanthia's oldest and therefore best institution[citation needed].
Why are we?
Our big goal is to find, preserve, analyze, and convey the -true- history of Elanthia. Also to sell the artifacts we're done with to fund parties!
How are we?
We break down our big operations into divisions in order for our members to help the cause based on their own strengths. Maybe you don't like to dig, but you do like to tell stories. We got a job for that! Here they are, in no particular order, ordered by numbered list alphabetically except the first two -
Main Big jobs
- Archaeologist - Your main big job is to dig artifacts that can be analyzed for the truth about them. It is imperative that we find true and good artifacts for analysis that support the Elanthian Historical Society's views so we can show everybody what the real history of Elanthia is.
- Anthropologist - Your main big job is to analyze the artifacts the diggers dig and figure out their truths. This is a real important job because it's not enough to just dig artifacts. We gotta know what they really mean. Beat the mysteries of Elanthia into submission with smartness!
- Professor - Your main big job is to do lectures and stories about the artifacts that the diggers dig and the anthropologists study. You can either do this by taking groups of people on field trips, by professing in public, or in as private an environment as you like.
Note: if your private environment has a latched door, please refrain from providing meeting minutes.
- Purveyor - Your main big job is to sell the artifacts that we already got truths about, and to get a good price for them because we boosted their value based on all the truth we know about them.
Note: Garnered funds will be used to do EHS stuff and also throw parties, with or without marmots.
- Boat Enthusiast - Your main big job is to look at boats. You like boats, so why would you not? You were probably looking at boats anyway. The symbol of the Elanthian Historical Society is an old old wooden ship. We do not currently have a boat, but we have boat aspirations.
Note: The Elanthian Historical Society does not condone the stealing of boats. If you were to steal a boat for the Elanthian Historical Society, we would graciously accept it, but we would shake our heads and cluck our tongues while doing so.
Secondary Big Jobs
Everybody, regardless of their main big job, is allowed to do other jobs secondarily, but also everybody is a big scout and also a voice for the Elanthian Historical Society. We need the truth! So everyone's secondary main big job is to seek out people or locations that have truths so we can study them.
Also, the Elanthian Historical Society is a very good and charitable society, so everybody is expected to give out things to the poors so they will listen to the things we have to say. People like you if you give them free stuff, and then they know what you are saying is the truth because they owe you or else consequences.
Note: Please do not give the poors any of the good stuff. Only give them the stuff we can't sell for money.
The Inner Circle
In addition to the above listed jobs, the inner circle of the Elanthian Historical Society oversees and helps to direct the flow and overall message of the Elanthian Historical Society. The main big jobs available in the inner circle are as follows:
- Nunya
- Business
- Interloper!!!!
- Ten years dungeon. No trials.
You are we?
You may be asking yourself if the Elanthian Historical Society would even have you. You, who doesn't even know anything about the true history of Elanthia. You're right to wonder that. We got very high standards and you probably aren't even good enough! But that's okay. We can teach you to be good enough, even if you aren't good enough yet. But why would you be interested even?
Maybe you like to dig holes. Maybe you like to tell stories. Maybe you like to sell things. Maybe you like parties, potentially with marmots. Maybe you like to travel. Maybe you like to show everybody the truth! These are all things that we do here at the Elanthian Historical Society. We got some real special jobs lined up for anyone with the guts to look beyond the lies that Big Lorminstra is feeding the world, to the real truth! People from all professions and interests are welcome. NO ORDIMS ALLOWED.