Jaynon (platinum)
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Transcribed to the order records on the 24th of Jastatos in the year 5118
I have been asked to write an account of myself; for the records within the Order. I do not know that a truthful and honest account of my life thus far will be worthy of record within this prestigious and great organisation. I feel that many parts of my story will reflect badly upon my position within the Order. Indeed it is true that I have abandoned my direct bond with Voln for another god, something that has brought much resentment and ire from some of my Brothers within the Order. In light of this I have offered a short preface to my account, that I hope will give the reader at least some insight into my motivations and reasoning. But have no doubts, I am still a devout member of this Order. I will still fight the cursed undead wherever I find them. I am still part of our most Holy Crusade.
I once believed that my life would be short and brutal. That my end would be met fighting alone in some dank and dark forgotten crypt. It was not something I hoped for or sought; it was simply the logical, inevitable conclusion to my life's course and duty. My only purpose back then was to fight and release those cursed by the undeath. In Voln's name I served; in his service I thought I would die. As a young boy I made an oath to Voln, the gravitas of which I had no chance of then understanding. An oath to which I held to for many long years. An oath I still in part hold to even to this day; while in service of another.
I once relished those quiet moments on an evening after my duty was done. Where I could share a mug of ale with friends. Or where I could spend my coin finding a measure of comfort in fine food and wine. I would often choose a soft inn bed over the hard, cold provision the Order provides. And why not? If my life was going to be short, if it was going to be filled with stress and violence, who are the priests to tell me it is wrong to take such comforts where I could? It was this outlook that opened the door to her. It is this belief that many of those who scorn my choices will point to as the root cause of my 'failings'. They would use me as a lesson. But one of the most valuable lessons I can teach you is; Don't be a mindless zealot. Don't just follow where you are led. Forge your own path. Faith is a personal thing. Try to understand what it means for you and hold to that. Only you know your own truth.
When I was posted to the Landing from Icemule, I met her almost immediately. A seemly soft-hearted vulnerable homeless young woman, named Tanai. Starved and beaten down by her life, I felt a great sympathy for her and yet somehow enamoured by her optimistic, seemly carefree outlook. I made it one of my missions each day to seek her out and ensure she had food in her belly. I tried to give her more, offering her coin for shelter at an inn, but she refused at first. She is a proud and headstrong young woman. She has always stood up for herself without fear and in the defiance of the odds against her.
Little did I know how my life would change. From the moment I met her my life became a maelstrom. Through her I met others, some good, some terrible. I have fought villains besides heroes. I have known moments of intense euphoria and others of devastating sorrow. I have converted from one to a new god after fourteen years of bond and service. Would you believe a person could experience all that within the space of less than half a year? That is the way it is with Tanai and those around her. She is one of those people who are a catalyst to those around her. She is a force so strong I feel that she has changed my destiny.
I no longer fight for a short and brutal fate. I fight for the love of a woman. I fight for the future family we will bring into the world. I fight for a long and prosperous life filled with love, hope and friendship.
But there is something I have not told you. Something that she has hidden from herself. Some other motivation for my conversion. Some other reason that I will lay my life down for this woman no matter what happens; that transcends even the feeling of love. Where once my duty was only to fight the curse of the undeath, now my duty is her protection as well. To serve her loyally and faithfully. She is the temple that I must guard. The shrine that I must worship. Through her I find Him. Charl be praised, for his gift in her to me.
But to all those who may read this. To all those who would seek out one like Tanai for themselves. I have a warning for you;
Beware you all that listen to the call of the sea. Its song is rich and intoxicating. Before you know what's changed you will be throwing yourself from tall cliffs just to hear it. You will swim out into the endless blue on just the promise of it. That song will fill your dreams and days. If ever you are without it you will curse and wain until it fills your ears again. You will pray that the song will fill your throat and lungs till it chokes you. Once you have heard it and let it into your heart, you had better love it; for there is only one way to escape from it.
Jaynon Murchadha
Paladin of Charl- Knight of the Order of Voln