User:DIEHLS
Title: The Free North News Issue #4
Author: Various
"Newspaper" is not in the list (essay, letter, periodical, poetry, short story, song, storyline, vignette) of allowed values for the "Creative-work-type" property.
OOC Disclaimer: The following is about Empire, revolution, settler colonialism, and it’s many consequences. The opinions stated here are to be taken in character and should not be taken as out of character judgements. It is intended as in chracter rhetoric. Except that we should have a rolton cryptid. Oh and do not insert into any orifices. Or do, I’m just not legally responsible for it.
IC Disclaimer: The Black Thorns are more of a collective, and less of a organization with heirachy and a roster. Please do not take the perspective of one member to apply to all of us.
The Faerinn Well, Notes from the Editor
OOC Disclaimer: The following are the in character views of Faerinn. While things may be embellished or exaggerated to help make a point or to entertain, the facts stated here are as far as Faerinn is aware true. I call to those who call Wehnimer’s Landing home and thank you for once again putting up with another campaign by me.
I came here a refugee time and time again. People say I hate Imperials, but forget that I came here as one. And I went back to Talador time and time again only to be driven out by one half-human progrom after another. I thought Talador was my home, because I was born there. The Landing always took me back no questions asked. It took years after the destruction of Talador to realize that my real home was here all alone.
I don’t hate the people of the Empire. I don’t even hate the Empire itself Not What I hate are the machinations of Imperialism. The systems that oppress everyone in its borders from Sun Throne to South Haven. The mechanisms that produce great heros, but rewards the greatest villains. As Jovery fought Hochstib on our behalf, the Sentinal had no issue with also accepting Hochstib’s claims for for the Sun Throne. A system that can’t but help to subjugate and expand as the top of the pyramid hoard more and more resources.
I’ve lost so much to this machine. Loss that is incalculable and incomprehensible except to Aletoi from Bre’Nere. I watch the reactions from the Reach, and I don’t think I can do it again. I don’t have it in me to lose another home. That is how you can know I am genuine. This is my guarantee to serve you to the very best of my abilities.
Whether it was the intentional or not, once this position came up for a vote to the citizens of the Landing the position changed from someone who reports to the Mayor, Council, and Sentinal. This is a brand new position now that, one that is beholden not only to the voters, but all the residents of the Landing.
The People's Envoy.
I will be taking your concerns abroad not that of the Elites. I’m not taking just the Consortium’s concerns abroad, nor just the Empire’s, nor just the Mayors, but EVERYONES.
If you deem to have me, I will be your Envoy. To take your concerns and issues not only to Imperial interests, but to renew our languishing relationships to the North and the East.
Faerinn Greatsinger, Esq, of Talador and Loenthra
Rumor Woods, Koaratos, 5123
News for the North!
- Dwarven Emissaries Travel Across The Lands- Under the mountain the human empire is discussed but the dwarves decide to remain neutral for now.
- Icemule- A Dwarven Caravan is attacked. The Mayor plans to sends condolences to the mountain.
- Sol Haven- Rumors abound of children eating rocks after misunderstanding certain cultural oddities of Aldora.
- Wehnimer's Landing- Envoy selection takes place the world waits in anticipation to see who will speak for the Landing.
Everything You're Dreaming
The barony of Darkstone will bring everything you're dreaming
Elidal's the greatest force of good you're ever seeing We'd surely fall to ruin if not for his intervening The barony of Darkstone will bring everything you're dreaming Because of the parade of threats we've faced for many years This Elidal is taking steps to now assuage our fears And so one day he made a vow of some contentious prose The biggest vow I've heard by now and this is how it goes: The barony of Darkstone will bring everything you're dreaming Hope and safety, wealth and wisdom, deeper inner meaning He's the apex, he's the leadership that we've been needing The barony of Darkstone will bring everything you're dreaming Now, it might seem precocious, like your lives are a disgrace Or it might seem atrocious, like your heroes die a waste But all the blood shed by our fallen fighters need not fail Just ally now with Elidal or it's to no avail The barony of Darkstone will bring everything you're dreaming Not to sound too grand or condescending or demeaning But have you seen the trouble this frontier is always gleaning? The barony of Darkstone will bring everything you're dreaming (You could say it nearly backwards: Dreaming your everything will bring Darkstone of barony... But that's going a bit too far, don't you think?) So as you face down yet more wars you didn't need to fight Reflect on Eli's words and how he'll be our shining light You'd better ponder carefully since this could change your life For example: a permanent stability that sees the end of strife The barony of Darkstone will bring everything you're dreaming Lift you out of hopeless doubts and fears since they're deceiving If you say it oft enough, you'll find yourself believing The barony of Darkstone will bring everything you're dreaming
Ask Lithyia
Dear Lithyia
Every morning a dwarf smelling of liquor breaks into my shop and smashes all the vases claiming he is looking for “real gems”. I tried locking the doors, and barring the windows but he just passes through them like a ghost. Please advise.
Vaseless in Vornavis
Dear Vaseless in Vornavis,
Something I have learned over the years is that the fastest way to many dwarve’s hearts is through freshly made brew. I recommend you get your hands on a still and begin leaving “gifts” outside your shop for this dwarf. You should notice you no longer need to lock the doors or bar the windows because you will find them passed out drunk in front of your shop. You can then haul them off yourself or pay some youngin who needs a few silvers to do it for you. If you do not have access to a still, seek me out. I am a brewmaster and would be happy to craft some specialities just for you and this…situation.
Fresh brew is best brew!
Miss Lithy
Dear Lithyia,
I find myself in a most peculiar predicament—one that has left me pondering the ethics of my choices. You see, I have become entangled in an intriguing, yet probably evil, cult. The allure of their secret rituals and promises of enlightenment initially drew me in, but now I'm plagued with doubts. Should I stay in this malevolent cult, embracing its dark path, or should I break free from its clutches and seek a more morally upright existence? Please help me navigate this moral maze, Lithyia, for I fear I'm teetering on the edge of eternal damnation.
Sincerely,
Torn Between Enlightenment and Ethics
Dear Torn Between Enlightenment and Ethics,
Having never been involved in a cult myself or having any experience related to them I must ponder on this a bit. Have they threatened you or someone you love? If so, I would suggest removing yourself from them as soon as possible. I might also recommend some new wrist, arm and ankle sheaths to carry additional…implements. One can never be too careful. As for whether you should seek a more morally upright existence, I don’t think you need to fully sacrifice who you may be as a person just because things didn’t work out the way you hoped with this group.
Regards, Miss Lithy
Turamzyrrian Empire's Dark Legacy Unveiled: Evil Cult Hiding in Solhaven Sends Assassins into the Free North
Byline: Dorper Eweherder
A dark cloud of treachery looms over the realm of Elanthia as the infamous Turamzyrrian Empire's troubled past comes to light once again. Known for its historical deeply ingrained racist policies and discriminatory practices, the empire now stands accused of shielding an insidious cult that has unleashed assassins into the once tranquil lands of the Free North. The revelation has sent shockwaves throughout the realm, exposing the Empire's complicity in this heinous plot.
For centuries, the Turamzyrrian Empire has held a notorious reputation for its divisive policies, fostering an environment of inequality and prejudice. Its discriminatory practices, targeting non-human races, have sown discord and resentment among the diverse populations of Elanthia. These issues have been made more troublesome when coupled with its militaristic campaigns of subjegation towards its neighbours.
Now, as the truth unravels, it has come to light that the empire has been sheltering and aiding an evil cult known as the Order of Eternal Light. This secretive and malevolent organization has dispatched assassins into the unsuspecting lands of the Free North, destabilizing the region and trying to strike fear and chaos among its inhabitants.
The Order of Eternal Light, notorious for their questionable membership and history of promoting the Lornon agenda, has found refuge within the empire's borders, shielded by its militaristic policies, authoritarian rule, and willful blindness. Their nefarious activities, supported by the Empire's resources and protection, have targeted key figures and leaders in the Free North, plunging the region into a state of wariness.
A group of courageous adventurers, driven by a relentless pursuit of justice, managed to peel back the layers of secrecy surrounding the Empire's unholy alliance with the Order of Eternal Light. Through their tenacious efforts, evidence linking high-ranking Empire Sympathizer to the cult's activities came to light, exposing the empire's complicity in this sinister plot.
We thank those brave souls who were former and current members of the Order who risked their lives helping expose the corruption.
The revelation has ignited a firestorm of outrage and condemnation throughout the Free North and beyond. Leaders and communities have united in their denouncement of the empire's aggressive stance in the sovereign territory of other people and its collaboration with an evil cult. Calls for justice and swift action reverberate through the halls of free people everywhere, demanding accountability for those responsible.
In response to mounting accusations, the Turamzyrrian Empire's representatives will scramble to distance themselves from the scandal, issuing statements condemning the cult's actions and denying any knowledge of their collaboration. However, the people of the Free North and the realm at large will remain skeptical, seeing these claims as a feeble attempt to salvage the empire's past reputation in light of recent efforts to rebrand itself.
As tensions escalate between the Free North and the Turamzyrrian Empire, Elanthia stands on the brink of an epic confrontation. The Free North, known for its resilience and commitment to justice, rallies its forces in a united front against the empire's tyranny. With swords raised and magic at their disposal, they stand ready to face the combined might of the empire and the Order of Eternal Light, vowing to restore peace and expose the truth.
The fate of Elanthia hangs in the balance as the forces of darkness threaten to engulf the realm. Will the Free North succeed in reclaiming its autonomy and defeating the evil that has been nurtured by the empire's feudal policies? Only time will tell, as the realm braces itself for an epic clash between justice and oppression.
The Ord An Dragan: Guardians of Unity and Honor
The Ord An Dragan: Guardians of Unity and Honor
Deep in the heart of Wehnimer's Landing, an organization flourishes, embodying the principles of unity, strength, and honor. They are the Ord An Dragan, a revered clan that has etched its name in the annals of history as stalwart protectors of the realm.
Forged in the fires of chaos, the Ord An Dragan emerged during the Age of Chaos, when a battle raged at Shadow Guard. In an unprecedented display of unity, a diverse alliance formed, consisting of Dwarves, Giantmen, Elven Houses, Humans, Sylvans, Halflings, and many others. This union, a testament to the power of collaboration, turned the tide of war, forever changing the course of the realm's destiny.
Witnessing the transformative impact of this alliance, the members of the Ord An Dragan clan embraced their role as custodians of unity. They understood that strength lay not in isolation, but in the harmonious integration of different races and creeds. Their numbers and influence grew, establishing them as the last line of defense for the survival of Elanthia.
Through the ages, the Ord An Dragan clan quietly and steadfastly fulfilled their sacred duty. They became the watchful eyes, the meticulous record keepers, and the nurturing force behind the values they held dear. From the discovery of the Gnomes to the arrivals of the Erithians and Aelotoi, the Ord An Dragan clan stood witness to these pivotal events, safeguarding the fragile balance of the realm.
When the Aelotoi were attacked by the Kiramon, it was the Ord An Dragan clan who joined forces with the Ta’Illistim guards to defend them. This marked the first official record of their presence in the environs of Ta’Illistim. However, it was in Wehnimer's Landing that they found their true home—a haven for diversity due to its status as a port city and its proximity to various lands.
Embodying the creed established by the Drakes, the Ord An Dragan clan became arbiters of justice and cultivators of honor. Within their ranks, individuals found a sanctuary where their potentials were nurtured and protected. The unity of their powers, akin to the might of a dragon, fortified their resolve to safeguard the realm.
In the face of waning dragon numbers, the Ord An Dragan took up the mantle of guardianship. They pledged to honor the strength in unity, working tirelessly to ensure the coexistence of all races and the triumph of righteousness. Monthly meetings, though sometimes dismissed as "borin'" by a few immature members, serve as a testament to the clan's commitment to fostering unity, sharing wisdom, and upholding their cherished values.
Today, the Ord An Dragan stands as a shining beacon in Wehnimer's Landing, a symbol of unity and honor. They have dedicated themselves to the well-being of the realm, protecting it from the encroachment of darkness. In their footsteps, new generations are guided and inspired to carry forward the legacy of the Ord An Dragan, preserving the realm's harmony and safeguarding its future.
May their noble endeavors continue to inspire all who seek a world built upon unity, strength, and honor.
Help Wanted/Classifieds
"Sheep's Wool: A Flock Too Far in Courtly Fashion"
By Madam Maedat
In an age where courtly fashion knows no bounds, one cannot help but marvel at the relentless obsession with sheep's wool. It seems that every nobleman and noblewoman, from the grandest castle to the lowliest manor, must drape themselves in the fluffy fabric of these humble farm creatures. Verily, we have reached a point where sheep's wool has become the cornerstone of court couture, and I am compelled to raise my quill in mock astonishment at this woolly madness.
Gone are the days of intricate embroidery and fine silks that adorned the aristocracy. Now, one can hardly tell a lord from a shepherd at first glance, for they are all swathed in wool from head to toe. It is as if they have declared a silent allegiance to the noble sheep, or are suffering in a secret love affair with some rolton, forsaking all other materials in favor of their cozy, albeit predictable, charm.
Let us take a moment to ponder the origins of this fashion frenzy. Sheep, creatures blessed with abundant fleece, have long been cherished for their warmth and versatility. Their wool has provided countless garments throughout history, but today it seems the demand has reached unprecedented heights. It is as if our courtly denizens, from Allace to Trauntor, have entered into a pact with the sheep, vying to outdo one another in their excessive display of ovine devotion.
Behold, the ladies parading in their woolen gowns, each step accompanied by the sound of gentle baas. Their dressmakers laboriously sculpt these garments, ensuring no inch of their noble forms remains untouched by the woolly embrace. Layers upon layers of the stuff are piled on, transforming them into walking clouds of fluff. It is a wonder they do not float away, carried off by a strong gust of wind or a playful ram.
The gentlemen fare no better, donning woolen doublets, cloaks, and even leggings. They walk with a perpetual itch, for who among them can withstand the tickling sensation that accompanies an entire outfit fashioned from wool? Yet, they persist, prancing about in their woolly attire as if they have forgotten the existence of other fabrics entirely.
Alas, even the knights who once gleamed in shining armor have succumbed to the pull of sheep's wool. No longer do they ride into battle, clad in protective steel; instead, they charge forth covered head to toe in woolen armor. One wonders if their adversaries will die from laughter before they can even draw their swords.
I implore the courtly elite to reconsider their devotion to sheep's wool. Surely there are other fabrics worthy of their attention? Let us not forget the delicate touch of velvet, the shimmer of satin, or the regal flow of brocade. Our forefathers would turn in their graves if they witnessed such a woolly takeover of fashion.
In conclusion, dear readers, let us remember the time-honored lesson of moderation. While sheep's wool undeniably has its place in courtly fashion, its ubiquity threatens to transform our noble courts into pastures. Let us reclaim the elegance and diversity that once graced our wardrobes, lest we become a flock of fashion sheep, forever caught in the woolly embrace of mediocrity.
All Enemies Can Not Change by Dendum
Great disturbances occur in the Free North. The ground itself shakes under Icemule and fire reaches out willingly to the waters. Visions stalk the minds of the unwary and the path forward is not clear. The mountains around the Landing have become unstable. In this dark time there are some in Icemule and even some in the Landing who seek peaceful accord with ancient foes, seek to tame that which has stalked us, killed our brethren, sacrificed our friends for their own glory.
The enemy’s fleet has terrorized our waters for many years, Talbot Dabbings kin saw them for what they were, they have proven themselves untrustworthy time and time again but still there are voices in the North that claim we can make peace with them. Even in the Landing, which has suffered attacks from this enemy more than any other, there is talk of working out an accord despite the past.
Why would anyone think that such a foe will change behavior overnight just because they need land? When we have seen their dark magic and all its corruption, we have felt the bit of their blade and heard their useless barking? They are mighty now, this is true, but that does not make them an ally worth inviting in it just makes them a threat worth holding back.
Some say we must seek an accord because failure to treat with them will cause them to migrate against our will. Did we become so meek that we bow to any threat no matter how vile the forces behind the threat? Is this not the North that has held up against impossible odds before? The birth place of Black Wolves that held off Ta’vaalor in ancient days? The place where Krolvin Armadas break, not against the rocky shore, but against the iron will of the defenders? They may be strong but that has never been a barrier in the past.
Some say the enemy’s problem are a result of their own making...and this surely can be true because they have sewn a field of evil seeds and now must deal with the consequences. It is not for us to give them a new field to plant and destroy with their wicked ways.
If kind hearts demand refuge be given to the ancient foe then let them change their ways and THEN be accepted. Do not let them bring the rites and rituals of their homeland into the North to continue to spread darkness. Do not give them a new patch of dirt from which to lash out against more innocent lives and cause more destruction. Only in changing can they become more than a threat to the North.
A Guide to Cooking Rolton: A Delightful Compendium of Recipes from the Free North
This is a story about a town that's plucky!
Invaders charge in, full of bloodlust, Assailing us from all around A rain-soaked battle where heroes rush, Rallying back to stand our ground
They'll say: "Aren't they fiery, that Wehnimer's town?" And they'll see...
We're so plucky, full of fight, How we try, try, try using all our might, knowing Evil forces disrupt our every plan But surely we'll pull through in the end
The Landing standing: a mystery Besieged by threats on every side But our blades keep whirling and our spells keep swirling Relentless and we'll always turn the tide
They'll say: "Aren't they crazy, that Wehnimer's town?" And they'll see...
We're so plucky, full of fight How we fry, fry, fry foes with pylon light, knowing We draw our strength from our courage and our friends And surely we'll pull through in the end
"They're only lucky, that Wehnimer's town!"
Our town's so plucky, must be how we survive Even Raelee Svala has no other theories why Yet we still grow and thrive
And they'll see! We're so plucky, full of fight Enemies die, die, die when they attack at night, knowing If we're still breathing, we rise up to defend For surely we'll triumph in the end
We are so plucky Riding high, high, high to protect what's right, knowing Whenever needed, our inner strength will shine And surely we'll triumph every time
Leaked Criminal Notes on the Nefarious Knitter - by The Alleged Sapphire Guard
OOC Disclaimer: No this is not actually written by a member of the Sapphire Guard. This an IC reimagining by the anonymous author of what might be in the point for giggles. It's a bit!
While trying our best to find someone, anyone to take the blame for the Princess’s death aside from Arditin’s niece, we have been gathering intelligence for the benefit of the Sun Throne on one known as the ‘Nefarious Knitter’.
We have found the following:
- She is a member of the Black Thorns, a terrorist organization devoted to the spread of vile anti-socialist ideologies such as ‘Democracy’ and ‘Equality’.
- This anti-imperialist agent was not available to kill the Princess as she was fighting a giant earth elemental with an entire town of witnesses. At that time Orelwen was pushing Kasendra off of a staircase or something. But Arditin does not like this lady.
- We can’t find her.
So in instead of pertinent information here is our information on the membership of the Black Thorns:
- The Black Thorns have an estimated 3,000 members trained in forty different martial arts lost from the days of Despana and the strength of a hundred demons.
- Their leader is one, Talliver Dabbins, the warlord of Silver Mule Trace. He wanted for his war crimes during the Griffon Sword War of creating vampires and wyrms. His lair is deep in the Hinterwilds, but he is easy to spot due to his thirteen foot hairy frame.
- His lieutenant is a real player in the Cult of Zelia and a rogue Palestra Blade named Yoshie. This deranged assassin’s trade mark is a squid branded to his hand, and the replacement of his victim’s nails with rails.
- The Talon, a half-elf pirate from Mist Harbor who enraged a column of Aldoran swamp-berserkers to march on the Shining City until a Knights of the Realm convinced diverted them into dying in a swamp. We suspect this is another anatomy based alias of Socius, because screw that guy.
- The red-haired, half-sylvan former leader of the Rooks and Mayor of Wehnimer’s Landing - Casiphia.
- An ottoman that Thadston threw so hard with his magic arms that it became sentient.
- A gnome under the alias, Dr. C
- Gurbah, who requires no further explanation.
We hope you find this information useful as we coverup the deaths of many of your suspects, I mean, subjects including your cousin.
Faerinn for Envoy
Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed members of the Wehnimer's Landing community, I rise before you today to advocate for Faerinn as the best candidate for councilor. Faerinn's remarkable qualities and unwavering dedication make them the ideal choice to represent our beloved town and ensure its prosperity.
First and foremost, Faerinn possesses a deep understanding of Wehnimer's Landing. Through their active involvement and extensive experience within the community, they have proven themselves to be well-versed in the town's rich history, its challenges, and its aspirations. This familiarity enables Faerinn to make informed decisions and take actions that truly benefit our town.
Furthermore, Faerinn is a natural leader with a genuine passion for community development. They have demonstrated an exceptional ability to bring people together, fostering a sense of unity and collaboration. By actively engaging with residents and soliciting their input, Faerinn ensures that the voices of the people are heard, and their concerns are addressed. Such inclusive leadership is essential for the growth and prosperity of Wehnimer's Landing.
Moreover, Faerinn's commitment to progress is unparalleled. They possess a forward-thinking mindset and are always seeking innovative solutions to enhance our town's infrastructure, economy, and overall quality of life. With Faerinn at the helm, Wehnimer's Landing can embrace advancements while staying true to its unique character, ensuring a thriving and sustainable future.
Lastly, Faerinn's integrity and transparency set them apart as a councilor. They prioritize open communication and accountability, keeping residents informed about important decisions and actively seeking their feedback. This level of transparency builds trust and empowers the community, fostering a stronger bond between the councilor and the people they represent.
In conclusion, Faerinn's deep understanding of Wehnimer's Landing, their inclusive leadership style, their commitment to progress, and their integrity make them the ideal candidate for councilor. By electing Faerinn, we can be confident that our town will be in capable hands, working tirelessly to ensure our collective success. Let us rally behind Faerinn and together create a brighter future for Wehnimer's Landing.