Mirthbrand

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You remotely analyze an invar-hilted golvern falcata inlaid with vaalin grace notes that is up for bidding in Grand Auction, Golden Dreams.
You sense that the creator has provided the following information:
The golvern falcata is a mirthbrand, a haunted weapon imbued with the spirits of bold and jovial revelers.  It accrues charges by killing experience-eligible creatures.  Its abilities are dependent upon the number of kills it has accrued, from 1 to 100.  Upon attaining 100 kills, it will reset to 1 charge.  Along the way, it will recharge various activated abilities, as well as grant passive bonuses to your attack strength in combat.  Its stored kills will reset if wielded by another user or if it has not been used for more than 7 days.  Finally, the weapon has Glitter Flares, which reduce the defense and target defense of your foes.

Verb Traps:

    RUB    - fluff verb
    TILT   - fluff verb
    LISTEN - fluff verb
    RAISE  - uses Brave Companions; drunken warriors will attack nearby foes for up to 1 minute
    SPIN   - uses Drunken Prodigy; you attack multiple foes, guaranteed Glitter Flares
    WAVE   - uses Piercing Wit; MDR Horrify and attack with guaranteed Glitter Flares

Ability Charges:

    Kills            - 0/100
    Drunken Prodigy  - 3/3
    Piercing Wit     - 5/5
    Brave Companions - 1/1
    Helping Hand     - 1/1

You might be able to have a talented merchant lighten the golvern falcata for you.