Kelfour Edition volume IV number III

The official GemStone IV encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

 / \                                                                     \
|   |                             Hot Summer Nights are Here! See Page 2  |
 |                                                                     |
 |       _   _         _   ___                                         |
 |      / ) / )       / ) / __)                                        |
 |     / /_/ / ____  / /_/ (  ____  __  __ ____                        |
 |    /   __/ / __ )/ /(  __)/ _  )/ / / // ___)         August 1993   |
 |   / /\ \  / ___// / / /  / (/ // (_/ // /             Vol.4, No.3   |
 |  (_/  \_)(____)(_( (_(  (____/(_____((_(                            |
 |                           _______                                   |
 |_                        /    _____\                                 |
  /        __            /  *  |                                       |
 |       //   \----------\___ /----------------------------- \         |
 |      ||    | | | | |  |___|--------------------------------->       |
 |       \\\_//----------/    \----------------------------- /         |
 |                       \  *  |_____ The Kronicles of Kulthea         |
 |                         \ ______ /                                 _|
 |                            _____     _   _   _   _                 \
 |                           / ____)   / ) (/ _/ ) (/                  |
 |     GemStone III(tm)     / (__  ___/ / _  (  _)_  ____  ____        |
 |                         /  ___)/ _  / / ) / / / )/ _  )/    )       |
 |                        /  (_  / (/ / / / / / / // (/ // /) /        |
 |                       (_____)(____( (_( (_( (_((____/(_((_(         |
 |                                                                     |
 |                                                                     |
 |   ............... Kelfour's Landing Local News ...............   1  |
 |   ........... August Hot Summer Nights Activities ............   2  |
 |   Minerals and Gems Lecture ................. Manfred Graupmann  3  |
 |   What Are You Going to Hunt Now? ............. Loque Windsfoot  5  |
 |   To Deed or Not to Deed ....................... Rask X-ForTran  7  |
 |   Good Roleplaying ................................. Amber Kari  8  |
 |   The House of Argent Aspis .......Alagar Darkstalker, Chairman  9  |
 |_  A Matter of Honor (Part III) .................... Sean2 Lladd 11  |
  /                        Art & Poetry Corner                         |
 |   Untitled Poem ................................ Voltaren Xanax 15  |
 |   Untitled Limerick .......................... Mikhail Minnehan 15  |
 |   The ABC's of Kulthea ......................... Ram Youngblood 16  |
 |   Berek the Lost .............................. Berek Bloodbane 17  |
 |   Rodders ....................................... Bugg Hornwort 17 _|
 |                                                                    \
 |   RoboMagess ................................ Belladonna Atropa 18  |
 |   Monster Chronicles: Steel Golems ............. Jarran Terraxx 22  |
 |   Wish List ..................................... Baphomet Eris 24  |
 |   Riddle Me This ................................. Glynn Nebula 26  |
 |   The Other Side of Glory ....................... Warlok T'lark 27  |
 |   When the Sun Shines: Blight ................ Lloyd Llowd, PhD 29  |
 | Kelfour Edition of the Kronicles of Kulthea is devoted to the multi |
 | player role-playing game GemStone III on GEnie.  Submissions may be |
 | edited for space, accuracy and readability. Contact Editor Rasputin |
 | Santare, Asst. Editors Kalagay Hallatil or Jarran Terraxx, or Pub-  |
 | lisher Lady Phaedra Bleu by GE Mail to P.HERRINGTON for details.    |
 |   __________________________________________________________________|__
 |   )                                                                    )
Real Gems During HSN   //                          \  penalty,   the   bank
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  || +    Kelfour Edition     + | will soon be offering
Money  may  not  grow ||                            | banknotes in exchange
on  trees,  but  real ||    L O C A L    N E W S    | for large  amounts of
gems  are everywhere. || +                        + | silver.  You can  get
During   Hot   Summer  \\__________________________/ them from the bank, or
Nights   Simutronics  will be hiding   NPC moneychangers, (at a one percent
lots of REAL  GEMS around the  lands.  commission), and exchange them  back
These  gems  are  redeemable for the   into silvers when you want to make a
REAL things, which will be mailed to   purchase or deposit.
players once  their  find  has  been
verified.                              All  of  the merchants will continue
                                       to   accept   silver,    but    some
Gems are being hidden in many  spots   merchants  and  other  NPCs (such as
around  the  land, so use your wits,   the flower girl and fortune  teller)
look carefully  and  patiently,  and   will  not  accept  the  bank  notes.
perhaps you will find what you seek.   They'll want cold, hard coinage.
GMs  cannot help or give hints as to
gem whereabouts. Type  GEM  for more         New Chests in the Land
info.                                        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                                       There  are  many different kinds  of
     New Version in Full Swing         chests showing up around the Landing
     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~         now:  wooden boxes,  dented coffers,
Work  on  the  new  version  of  the   and many other distinctive  contain-
GemStone  software  continues,   but   ers. This should help when more than
the   majority   of  it  deals  with   one container  or  chest is  around.
"behind the  scenes"    changes   to   Larton's  Lockpicking  Service   has
make    the    software   run   more   also been expanded, so  he  will  be
efficiently,  and  handle  a  larger   able to  open all containers  -- for
user load.   One major change is the   a fee, of course.
virtual   elimination   of    delays
caused  by  other  people logging on         Treasure System Changes
and off the system.  Another is  the         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
elimination   of  the  "GemStone  is   A major  overhaul  of  the  treasure
Full,  try again  later"   messages.   generation  system has  taken place,
The  old  version  of  the  software   which  has  affected  ALL  monsters.
could handle a maximum of  65  users   Some critters,  which  never used to
at  any one time.  Version  2.0  has   carry any treasure at all, may carry
handled over 90 so far, and  can  go   quite a bit now, and some which used
much higher.                           to be  wealthy may  seem to have run
                                       their  tribe  into  bankruptcy.  The
Be  sure  to  read  the  new version   important thing to  remember here is
notes for information on Version 2.0   that further changes will be  taking
and  watch for  announcements of up-   place on a routine basis.
coming changes. Go to Page 931;2 and   
type L NEWEST.                         Just  because those  mummies  had  a
                                       lot of gems last  week  doesn't mean
        New Banking System             you  will  continue  to   find  such
        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~             wealthy ones in the future. And just
Both of the town's banks  have  been   because pickings  were kind of  slim
merged  into  one,  and  can  now be   in  the  Upper  Kaldsfang  yesterday
accessed at  the   bank on the  Town   doesn't mean it'll forever be poor.
Square.  This  new  system  is  much
faster,  and  does  away  with   the   In general, the more difficult crea-
occasional "missing account"  bug.     tures will probably have accumulated
                                       more wealth, while those wimps which
In  order  to  allow  you  to  carry   are easy to kill probably won't have
around  a  lot  of  silvers  without   much.
  __\  ____\                                                             \
 /    / \__|              August Hot Summer Nights Activities!            |
|    |     |         ____________________________________________________/
|__   \___/_________/                                                  \
 /                                                                      |
 \               Sunday,    Aug  1 - Opening Ceremony                  _|
   \             Monday,    Aug  2 - GM Dunking                        \
    |            Tuesday,   Aug  3 - New Player Night                   |
    |                       Sponsoring House: Arcane Masters            |
    |            Wednesday, Aug 4 - Town Forum                          |
    |                       Topic: Meet the Designer - Bardon           |
    |            Thursday,  Aug 5 - Merchant Event                      |
    |            Saturday,  Aug  7 - Torkaan Skinning Contest          _|
    |            Sunday,    Aug  8 - Water Tunnel Races                \
    |                                                                   |
    |            Tuesday,   Aug 10 - New Player Night                   |
    |                       Sponsoring House: Argent Aspis              |
    |            Wednesday, Aug 11 - Town Forum                         |
    |                       Topic: HSN Report - Elvanion                |
    |            Saturday,  Aug 14 - Lockpicking Contest                |
    |            Sunday,    Aug 15 - Gladiatorial Games                 |
    |                                                                  _|
    |            Tuesday,   Aug 17 - New Player Night                  \
    |                       Sponsoring House: Silver Gate Inn           |
    |            Wednesday, Aug 18 - Town Forum                         |
    |                       Topic: KE (Great Stories & Earn Free        |
    |                        GemStone Weekends) - Phaedra & Gira        |
    |            Thursday,  Aug 19 - Dragging Races                     |
    |            Friday,    Aug 20 - Scavenger Hunt (Begins)            |
    |            Saturday,  Aug 21 - Scavenger Hunt (Ends)              |
    |            Sunday,    Aug 22 - Bardic Arts Contest               _|
    |                       Singing, Poetry, Stories                   \
    |                                                                   |
    |            Monday,    Aug 23 - ASCII Art Contest & Auction        |
    |            Tuesday,   Aug 24 - New Player Night                   |
    |                       Sponsoring House: Paupers                   |
    |            Wednesday, Aug 25 - Vaar Wey                           |
    |            Thursday,  Aug 26 - Vaar Wey                           |
    |            Friday,    Aug 27 - Vaar Wey                           |
    |            Saturday,  Aug 28 - Auction                           _|
    |            Sunday,    Aug 29 - Player Item Auction               \
    |                                                                   |
    |            Tuesday,   Aug 31 - New Player Night                   |
    |                       Sponsoring House: Phoenix                   |
    |                                                                   |
    |                September Closing Ceremonies                       |
    |                ****************************                       |
    |       Look for daily updates as we confirm more events            |
    |       ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~           _|
    | In addition to announced events there will be special happenings \
    | all month long, including REAL semi-precious gems stashed around  |
    | the lands for you to discover; surprise occurrences; visitations  |
    | and other things too horri...umm, numerous to mention!            |
   /_________________                                                   |
  ||\                \___________________________________________________
  ||_|                                                                    \
  |  |                                                                     |
   \/______________________________-=2=-_________________________________ /
                        Minerals and Gems Lecture
                           by Manfred Graupmann
  / \      TONIGHT at 7:00 !       \   the average  price, second column is
  |@/______________________________/   range of prices, and the last column
  |    Meeting in Moot Hall 7:00  |    is the number of each  specimen col-
  |                               |    lected, so you can make some sort of
  |    Lecturer: Master Rockhead, |    judgement as to  the accuracy of the
  |        Manfred Graupmann      |    first two columns.
  |                               |
  |   Assistant: Loque Windsfoot  |    ITEM               AVG SP  RANGE   #
  |                               |
  |   Topic: Values of Minerals   |    Almandine Garnet....  49   43- 90  4
  |    & Gems Native to Lands     |    Amethyst............ 144   93-198  5
/@| Surrounding Kelfour's Landing |    Aquamarine Gem...... 935  915-965  3
\/_______________________________/     Banded Sardonyx St..  65   41- 98  6
                                       Black Jasper........  52   26- 90  5
Come in! I did  not realize we would   Black Tourmaline.... 127   67-187  2
have  so many people. We do not have   Blue Coral..........  89   81- 97  2
enough  chairs.  I do apologize, but   Blue Cordierite.....  62   35- 92  5
some will have to stand. Loque! Give   Blue Lapis Lazuli... 635  405-865  2
your chair to the lovely lady. (Mut-   Blue Spinel......... 180  168-198  3
tering) Stupid fool.                   Blue Topaz..........  13    6- 17  5
                                       Blue Tourmaline..... 184      184  1
Ok, let's get moving, lots of infor-   Bright Chrysoberyl.. 163      163  1
mation  and so  little time. (Sigh.)   Brown Zircon........  15    9- 19  4
now for the introductions. I am Man-   Carnelian Quartz....  36   33- 40  2
fred Graupmann,  Master Rockhead. My   Cat's Eye Quartz....  55   39- 87  3
friends call me "Man." You folks can   Citrine Quartz...... 135   85-185  2
just  call me "Master." I won't even   Clear Sapphire......  16   15- 17  2
bother introducing Loque. He  didn't   Clear Topaz.........  12    7- 17  6
do much anyway. (Frowns at Loque).     Clear Tourmaline.... 106   71-167  3
                                       Clear Zircon........  14    6- 19 10
To  the topic at hand -- shh, we are   Dark Red-Green Blood Stone..........
coming to the good stuff (cold stare                         89   79- 97  4
at nameless person). Until recently,   Fire Opal...........  76   68- 84  2
the only gems anyone could  identify   Golden Beryl Gem.... 130   80-173  5
were  the Alexandrite  Agate and the   Golden Topaz........ 676  335-900  3
Tourmaline Stone. Then a learned few   Green Aventurine Stone .............
pointed  out a  variety  of valuable                         50       50  1
minerals and stones that have evaded   Green Garnet........ 292  285-300  2
our eyes until now.                    Green Malachite St.. 635  480-790  2
                                       Green Tourmaline.... 171      171  1
I hope my lecture will shed light on   Green Zircon........ 171      171  1
what's  trash  and  what's -- LOQUE!   Iridescent Labradorite Stone........
DON'T TOUCH THOSE! Get away from the                         45   29- 89  6
exhibits (mumble). Now, where was I?   Lt. Pink Morganite.. 154      154  1
Oh yes,--and what's worth carrying.    Piece of Amber......  69       69  1
                                       Pink Rhodocrosite Stone.............
On with the chart--(looks at Loque).                        548  350-920  3
Loque, bring me  the chart. Not  the   Pink Topaz.......... 782  765-805  4
stone  case, the flat thing with the   Pink Tourmaline.....  71   67- 78  3
writing on one side--thank you.        Polished Black Coral  48   29- 89  4
                                       Polished Blue Coral.  59   27- 89  5
How to read the chart: First are the   Polished Pink Coral. 788  325-930  7
gems in  alphabetical  order, to the   Polished Red Coral.. 755      755  1
right of which  there are three col-   Quartz Crystal......  13    7- 19  5
umns of information. First column is   Red Jasper..........  89   79- 97  4
ITEM              AVG SP  RANGE    #   This list  has  over 150  pieces. It
~~~~              ~~~ ~~  ~~~~~    ~   took Loque and me a total of 10 man-
Red Spinel.......... 162      162  1   levels to get this far (Loque's were
Rock Crystal........  18   17- 18  2   between  7th and  12th). I will keep
Rose Quartz......... 114   82-198  4   adding to the  list as I go.  All of
Smoky Topaz......... 907  820-995  2   these  gems  came  from  holders  of
Star Diopside.......  14   10- 18  2   level 1 chests. It appears that gems
Turquoise Stone..... 598  325-995  5   have the  same silver restriction as
Violet Spinel....... 162      162  1   chests do. I have yet to uncover one
Yellow Jasper.......  71   42- 99  5   above 1,000 silvers in value.
Yellow Zircon.......  55   54- 55  2
                                       If you get some use from this table,
                                       let  me know. We  would both love to
(Whew.) Well,  that's the  list. Now   hear that it is getting used. If you
you  have graduated  to Junior Rock-   think you've found a  mistake in our
heads.                                 chart,  or if  you have a wild value
                                       that doesn't fit, let  me know  so I
My  original  goal was  to get  five   can try to keep the list accurate.
of each gem for a good cross-section
of  each type.  But  when  I started   I will  keep adding to this list and
recording  them, I realized how long   eventually  publish my  book,  _Man-
that would take. With  over 50  gems   fred's Mineral Compendium for Junior
listed (times five per entry), that    Rockheads_.  Until  then,  good col-
would total 250 samples!               lecting!
      |\                 |\                     /|                /|
      |_\                |_\                   /_|               /_|
      |                  |                       |                 |
      |                  |                       |                 |
  ____|____          ____|____               ____|____         ____|____
 [_  - .  _]        [_       _]             [_  .    _]       [_-     -_]
  |  .    |          |  -  . |               | -   - |         |  .  . |
  |   []  |          | . []  |               |  []  -|         |. []   |
  |  -  . |          |  -  . |--_--_--_--_--_|  .   .|         | -  -  |
  |  .   .|--_--_--_-|-  . - |               | .  -  |--_--_--_|  .  - |
  | -  -  |  .  .  . | -  -  |  .  - []  . - |  -  . |  .  .  .| -  .  |
  |  -  . |    []    |-     .|   __________  | -  .  |  - []   |   -  .|
  |-  -   |  -     - |  -  . |  /++++++++++\ |-  -   |  .    . | -  .  |
  |  .  . |    -  .  | .   - |  |**********| |  .  - |-    -  -|  -  - |
  | -  -  | -  .  -  |  - .  |  |**********| | -   . |  -  .  -| -  .  |
  |   []  |  -  .  - |-  [] -|  |**********| |  [] . |-    -   |  [] . |
  | .  .  |    .  .  |  -  - |  |**********| | -  -  |  -  . - |-  .  -|
  |  -  - | -   .  - | .  -  |  |**********| |  -  - |   .  .  |  - .  |
  ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^| .  . . . |^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
  ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^| . . . . .|^^^^^^.^^^^^.^^^^^^^^^^.^^^^
  ^^.^^^^^^.^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^\ .  .  .  \^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
  ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^\ ..  .  .  \^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
  ^^^^^^^^^^^^^.^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^/  .   .    /^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
  ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^/ .   .  .. /^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
  ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^\ .  .  .   \^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
  ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^/  .  .   ../^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
  ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^|  .  . .  .|^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
 "The Gates of Kelfour's"                             By: Cassius Weiser
 ____________           What Are You Going to Hunt Now?
/ \      __  \          ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
\@|     / "|  |                by Loque Windsfoot
  |    //|"|  |
 _|   //=|"|  |
/@|  //  |"|  |s you may or  may not   he will  turtle and become extremely
\_/ ~~   ~~~ / know, a couple months   difficult for them to hit.  That  is
  ~~~~~~~~~~~ back  I wrote about  a   when  you come in  and  fry him into
few  of the places that  mages could   troll jerky.
hunt.  I mentioned hobs, orcs up  on
the mine road, mummies in the crypt,   For the  benefit of the whole party,
and spectral fishermen  down  in the   a few basic  guidelines should still
old sailors haven.                     be  followed.  First,  remember that
                                       your power  points  are limited,  DO
Both of the latter are critters with   NOT cast anything at the troll until
a  level six  ranking,  which  could   his OB (offensive bonus) drops below
easily get you to your sixth year of   90, assuming  you are hunting with a
experience. However, as it is common   party. If you do, you will be out of
practice, most  of us will hunt that   power points and your sword swinging
which is beyond our abilities.         friends will be displeased. Let them
                                       beat him down until  they have  some
Now,  in order to  make this as easy   trouble  hitting  him, even until he
as possible, I will state  all of my   turtles, then you finish him off.
suggestions as if  you had at  least
six years of experience. I will also   By this time,  you may  even be able
assume  that you know  shockbolt and   to use  a  wand without there  being
can cast it effectively.  Other than   any  danger (even  less if you are a
that  particular  spell, I  will not   brawling  type).  Your  friends will
mention  any  other  spells that *I*   get  full experience for dispatching
think you should research.             with most of  the  trolls concussion
                                       points, and you will as well for the
Perhaps  the first area one can hunt   kill.  With  a  little  cooperation,
and dispatch with but a couple foes,   cavers can be a great place  to gain
yet still easily fry your noodle, is   lots of experience, fast.
cavers.  Not  only are  cave  trolls
great for  experience, but  they are   Now for the numbers..Cavers have 127
also very easy  to  hit,  especially   OB.  So you need to generate about a
for mages.                             140 DB at  parry 100 to be safe from
                                       a critical strike, you may also want
This is  because  cavers only have a   to wear  those  greaves  here if you
DB  (defensive bonus)  of  37, which   have taken them off. Cavers are slow
makes them  barely more difficult to   and  easily double  casted  on, even
hit, than a hobgoblin.                 double  tagged  with  a  sword  when
                                       things are running decent.
When you use spells against  cavers,
then  keep  in mind, that  when  the   Cavers can  be hunted  alone, I did,
caver begins to turtle (which is the   but few things are  more frustrating
equivalent of the  caver parrying at   than only being  able to kill one at
100) his effective DB against spells   a time.... possibly  two if  you get
WILL NOT CHANGE. Only those critters   good  hits.  So,  ask  around  for a
that can cast  directed  spells  can   companion or two.
turtle against them,  the cave troll
is not one of them.                    After a  few levels  in  cavers, you
                                       may be ready for  fireguardians.  To
This  fact will  make you a valuable   even  consider  hunting  here,  your
companion to  the caver expeditions,   MAGIC DB  must be  at least  192  at
especially to those  that  are lower   parry 100 to  survive the  fireballs
in experience.  The reason being is,   they throw around.
when sword swingers beat on a troll,
The  easiest way  to test your magic   will mention grey orcs here quick.
DB is to  set  yourself up  like you
were going  to hunt,  DB spells  and   Grey orcs  do carry level II's, they
all.  Then prepare  a  shockbolt, be   also generate like mad. They are not
sure you are at parry 100, then just   very dangerous to a mage at all, but
CAST.  You  will shoot  at yourself,   they are rather difficult for a mage
but you will  see your magic  DB :).   to  kill  compared to a caver.  They
One thing to remember, your magic DB   have  90 DB  which  makes  them more
will work  regardless of  what is in   difficult  right  off the bat,  they
your weapon  hand.  So if you  are a   are also fast, and when they turtle,
sword swinging mage but can generate   their magic DB goes up as well.
a PHYSICAL DB of anywhere from 75-80
without parrying at  all, then use a   Grey orcs have few concussion points
wand if you want.                      and you can death crit  them.  So it
                                       is up to you, they are only level 10
The best  way to hunt  these guys is   creatures,  compared to level 12 for
to just cast, wave, or swing away at   a caver and level 16 for a guardian.
them until they BRIGHTEN. This means   Money does talk though, just be very
they are  preparing a  spell, so  by   careful of the stun clouds that they
all means parry up.  They  also cast   can cast.  These clouds LOVE to move
firebolts  which  are less dangerous   around and follow  you,  although, I
than a fireball, and firestorms.       have yet to see a firestorm move.
Firestorms are nasty clouds that can   If you crave diversity or maybe just
rain  liquid  fire  down  on you, so   the smell  of critters wearing metal
needless  to say, if  you see a dark   armor,  go find  a  war  troll up in
cloud  forming  above you,  then you   Danjirland. Their chain hauberk make
have about  3 rounds to get the heck   them  an easy target, but the cavers
out of there.                          here have no weapon, which makes YOU
                                       an easy target.  Also, be careful of
Fireguardians have 70 DB, so even us   the mountain ogres. If you thought a
mages  can  hit them  with a  rapier   forest  troll was mean when he broke
sometimes, plus they can  not turtle   his cudgel... try a  mountain  ogre.
on you.                                They do  not call it Danjirland  for
Perhaps the best reason  for hunting
them  is the  fact  that there is  a   Lizard men  can be interesting for a
safe node room in the  middle of the   bit. They only have a 40 DB but they
area, the  arch.  With a node  being   are  quite fast.  They  also  have a
readily available, it is rather easy   habit  of  swinging  tridents around
to average 1500-2000  experience per   with an OB of 80, and ever since one
hour here.                             of them broke my laen shield, I have
                                       taken  great  delight in  shattering
Just a last couple tidbits of info..   their skulls when I have the chance.
Fireguardians are highly susceptible
to  cold  ball, so save those  metal   The chieftains that run around are a
wands! Also, they are level 16, this   little  more dangerous. They have 65
means you can have several levels of   DB, and 95  Ob with  a morning star.
excitement here. Lastly, death crits   They  also cast  tremors, but do not
against  them are unfortunately  few   attack immediately after casting it,
and far between.                       so just stand back up. Lizardmen are
                                       level 7 and chieftains are 11th.
Neither cavers nor fireguardians can
carry  level  II  chests  (1000-2000   The possibilities are many, you just
coins).  My emphasis  in adventuring   need to  choose the  areas that  you
has always been experience first and   want to hunt. In my opinion, hunting
the money will  follow.  I know this   cavers  until you  are  able to hunt
is not  the case for everyone, maybe   guardians  is  the best way  to  go.
not  even for  ANYONE  else :), so I   Guardians can keep you busy for many
                                   -=6=-                 (Cont'd on Page 7)
 ____________               To Deed or Not to Deed
/ \   ____   \              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
\@| /~/~~\\  |                by Rask X-ForTran
  ||~|    ~~ |  
 _||~|  |==| |  
/@| \~\__//  |ems  can be  extremely   filled  up rather fast, then you end
\_/  ~~~~~   / valuable, plus a very   up  having nothing to show  for your
  ~~~~~~~~~~~ nice  way of obtaining   time and effort.
large amounts of cash. As most know,
gems can  also be used to gain Deeds   If  you do not care to 'waste' a gem
from Eissa.  Much to  my  horror,  I   that is  worth a lot, you may use in
have seen (heard about  really) many   its place several gems together from
other people  drop a  couple of gems   'Category 2:  Good For Pocket  Cash'
down for  Eissa and then another one   (worth between 100 and 300 silvers).
or two gems for good measure.          These gems should NOT be overlooked!
                                       Although,  it takes several of them,
You  see,  death has  played a LARGE   you  are much more likely  to find a
part in my life, just ask any cleric   gem of this  quality.  I was able to
or  healer (Lord Strom,  Lady Sydna,   use two (2) Clear Tourmaline gems to
Lord Tory, etc).  Because I do die a   obtain  a Deed  when I  was at level
lot, I  need to get  the most that I   nine (9) and needed a Deed.
can from any gems I find no careless
offering of gems from me!              In  closing, I  would like  to point
                                       out several things.  One,  I am  not
Originally I was going to figure out   very  young, Eissa expects expensive
what  each gem  was worth to  Eissa,   gifts from me - those  who are  much
but due to a number of circumstances   younger  than me may be  able to use
I have been unable to do that.  What   the gems that are not worth as much,
I have been able  to do, is  keep  a   or use fewer gems to obtain Deeds.
careful  record of what gems I offer
to  Eissa, my  level, current number   Two,  from what  I have  seen,  good
of Deeds at the time of offering and   quality  gems are not being found as
the number of gems  I offered at the   often as they used  to be,  thus you
same time.                             should use  your gems wisely, obtain
                                       Deeds  while you  can.  (I have gone
If you  look at  "Alyssya's Guide to   from having 9  Deeds  to having none
Gems-The Basics", the  best category   in a VERY short period of time - let
is 'Category 3: Its Worth How Much?'   it be a warning to you).
(worth 300 silvers or more).  Single
gems of this  quality is good enough   Three,  as of  yet, I  have not been
for  Eissa to reward me  with a Deed   rejected once when offering Eissa  a
when I  was of  the  8th level and I   true gemstone.
already had eight (8) Deeds! This is   ------------------------------------
where  most  of  my  information was   What Are You -- Cont'd from Page 6
centered.                              ____________________________________
As time progressed on, I tried other   years, but that would get boring. So
gems  and many  various combinations   keep  your  eyes  open  for  my next
of  gems.  For myself,  now at level   installment. I will talk about areas
nine (but the same was true at level   for  mages with  around 12  years of
7), gems in  'Category 1:  Not Worth   experience or more.
Carrying'  (which  means worth  less                       @
than 100 silvers) are not even worth                      @*@
bothering with. I have offered up to                    @@***@@
6 gems at a  time from this Category            @@@       @*@       @@@
and have always been  rejected.  Not              *@@@@   @@@   @@@@*
only  that, carrying around  a large               *@@   @@*@@   @@*
number of gems to obtain a Deed is a                @@@@@@***@@@@@@
BIG pain, your locker  tends  to get                @@@@@@@*@@@@@@@
 _________                   Good Roleplaying
/ \ _____ \                  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
\@| ~|_|~ |                    by Amber Kari
  |  |~|  |  
 _|  |~|  | have   been  roleplaying   You could be a vegetarian  or a non-
/@| _|~|_ | for quite some time  now   alcoholic, some things like that.
\_/ ~~~~~ / and  have a few pointers
  ~~~~~~~~  for those  of  you  that   Background: Where did your character
might be less experienced at it.       grow  up? In  a rich  family, a poor
                                       family,  or by  the  sea?  What  has
First, try  to stay  in character as   your family taught you?  Were you an
often as you can. If you do not have   orphan?  A person on  the street (if
much of a  character yet, think  one   you were a thief)?  Whether you know
up. Take Amber, for example.           anyone  else in town  comes in here.
                                       It  helps  to have a background  for
Prejudices: Amber  might think  that   your character for reference.
Dwarves are disgusting, small putrid
things, unfit  for  the presence  of   Demeanor:  What is your personality?
elves. She makes jokes about Hobbits   Arrogant, hearty, quick-witted, very
being too small to do much, but it's   serious, completely  non-serious, or
nothing serious.  She looks  down on   maybe berserk?  Being a turncoat can
Wood  Elves as being unworthy. These   fit  in here. You might also give up
examples are from the  point of view   easily or  never give  up. You could
of a Fair Elf.                         be  stubborn or not  speak for your-
                                       self. Demeanor  makes roleplay  much
Prejudices  will  most  likely  also   easier.  It will help you  know what
include creatures  such  as  trolls,   to say in a situation.
orcs, torkaans, and  other monsters.
Say Amber's  family was  captured by   Likes  and  dislikes:  What  is your
orcs or maybe a band of Dwarven ban-   favorite food? What is your favorite
dits. In the latter case, she  might   color? Can you NOT eat spinach? When
might be VERY suspicious of  Dwarves   you  ask  your  character  questions
and  take  any chance  to kill them.   like these, you will be prepared for
She may not travel  with them at all   situations where you have a  choice.
or let them fight by her side.         It adds more  flavor to your charac-
                                       ter and is something to do  when you
If orcs caught a member of  her fam-   are bored.
ily or caused her grief somehow, she
would not  retreat in fighting them,   What would you do if...:
and she  would hunt them  more often
than other creatures.                  Here are some more  questions to ask
                                       yourself.  What  would  you  say  to
Using all  these  examples  at  once   someone who asked you out on a date?
would probably  be too  much, so you   What  would you  say to  someone who
might just  want  to  have  a slight   offered  you money? Would your char-
prejudice or none at all.              acter refuse? (That could be part of
                                       your demeanor, too.)  Would you give
Special  Characteristics: Say  Amber   someone money if they needed it?
had an incident with  squirrels some
time in her life and catches one for   Some closing  comments: You  do  not
a pet or tries  to keep squirrels as   have to  do any of this. If you load
safe  as  possible. In  a  case like   your character with too much person-
this, Amber  might leave battle just   ality,  he or she  might  not  be as
to  catch a squirrel  or to save one   exciting to play as you thought.
from  an untimely death. In  another
situation, Amber  walks into Helga's   Choose  a few details and try not to
and sees someone eating a  squirrel.   make your character TOO strong. Just
She is horrified and never speaks to   be a normal person most of the time.
that person again.                     The same  thing goes for prejudices.
                                   -=8=-                (Cont'd on Page 14)
 ____________             The House of Argent Aspis  
/ \ _________\            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
\@| ||=|=|=|| |        by Alagar Darkstalker, Chairman  
  | ~~ |_| ~~ |  
 _|    |_|    |  
/@|   _|_|_   |he  House  of  Argent   leave items in for other members, ie
\_/__________/ Aspis  is located  on   amulets, gold rings, drake falchions
East  Ring Road in a quiet, secluded   can be left for a few days. Although
section of town.  The  House can  be   more special  items have  a tendency
found  by travelling east on  Windak   to vanish sooner.
across the bridge, go  to the end of
the  road, turn  south and  continue   We currently have 35 active members,
south until you see  the entrance on   6 prospects awaiting acceptance  and
the left.                              one honorary member.  19 members are
                                       on the inactive list.
The Council records confirm that The
House of Argent  Aspis was the first   The House of Argent  Aspis is highly
chartered  House in  Kulthea and was   dedicated to the philosophy of doing
built by a group of some of the very   its best to helping newcomers in the
first residents  and adventurers  in   land.  Extending help and assistance
Kelfour's landing.                     through advice,  coins, items and of
                                       course guidance when the opportunity
 _________________________________     presents  itself.  Our history tells
/ \                               \    us  that the  House of Argent  Aspis
\@|    Current House Executives:   |   started the first  Newbie Nights and
  |                                |   had in fact a  monopoly on the event
  | Chairman:          Alagar      |   for some time!
  | Past Chairman:     Lord Llorien|
  | Secretary:         Lyrista     |   We have  also taken on activities to
  | Treasurer:         Jarran      |   make  membership  in the  House both
  |                                |   more enjoyable  and more unique,  we
  | Project and Event Coordinators:|   also  stress  good  role-playing and
  |                                |   character acting.
  | Hunt Master:       Kyreth      |
  | Renovations:       Heron       |   The House schedules 4 members to aid
  | BB Leader:         Lyrista     |   on our House sponsored Newbie Nights
 _| Glad Games Coor:   Jarran      |   held  approximately  every  6 weeks.
/@| Newbie Night Coor: Lyrista     |   Those members  working  are given  a
\_/_______________________________/    free flag  from 6pm  to 8am the next
                                       day. We solicit for workers and look
The House  has three floors with the   to share participation in this event
top two floors having  private rooms   with all interested members.
of some of these  now long  vanished
adventurers.  The main  floor has  a   We are working on a major renovation
lounge  where members gather for the   of our House and have been trying to
meetings and organize for  the House   raise funds to allow renovations and
Hunts.                                 set up an endowment fund to resource
                                       the features  we would  like to see.
We have a  kitchen and formal dining   Heron is  our chief  planner for the
room as well and a library.  Several   renovations  and  he is  taking  any
artifacts of the heroes  of long ago   suggestions from the  membership for
are displayed in the House including   all the renovations.
an ancient  banner and a painting of
the House founders.                    We have  agreed on  an  arboretum, a
                                       sunlight plant  filled room  with  a
The lower levels, accessible only by   pool  of some type and a mobile bar,
members, includes an informal lounge   great for relaxing after a very hard
and the house 40 item lockers. There   fight or  while  recuperating  after
is  also  a permachest  that one can   being rezzed.
                                   -=9=-                           More...
We  are  currently checking into the   a strong say in any town politics.
reorganization of the private rooms,
so as to  allocate them to currently   The House  has a Private Category on
active members  who will be able  to   the Bulletin  Board  that is lead by
decorate them with their own private   Lyrista, our able  secretary.  There
touches.  I  myself have an  ancient   are more than a dozen  topics in the
yew longbow left to me  by my father   category for communicating the House
that gleams with ancient power, I am   business,  for  coordinating events,
told it is very accurate, that would   passing information  and posting the
hold a place of honor in my room.      results of events. Once a new member
                                       has  gained  admission, Lyrista will
In the mean time, you may have heard   admit members to the category.
or witnessed one of our House Hunts,
where Aspis members get together for   Interested adventurers can ask for a
two hours  of  party hunting and all   tour  of the  House  with  a current
treasure is  donated  to  the  house   member, who can take you in and show
renovation fund.  Kyreth is our Hunt   you about  or you can either see one
Master and coordinates the  time and   of the executives  while they are in
place for  the Hunt, establishes all   town or by sending an Email to me.
the  parties,  quarry  and  treasure
gathers.                               Alagar Darkstalker, E-Mail A.LUBIMIV
Our first Hunt netted us 75000 coins   Leave me your Email address in which
and is to date, our  record to beat!   to  contact you  with  and set up  a
This activity is usually attended by   time for a meeting.
10 to 12  members with  two  parties
hunting.  We have  a  great time  on   Any  member can  propose a person as
these  hunts.  We have also  allowed   an applicant for acceptance into the
prospects  and friends to attend the   House. This is normally done through
Hunts, we find that it is a good way   the BB. A unanimous vote is required
to  meet interested  adventurers  in   for any new  prospective members  to
joining our  fine House  and letting   be accepted.  All  members will have
them meet the other members.           an opportunity to vote over the next
                                       week.  Should all votes be positive,
We just  completed the  houses first   then the  applicant  is accepted  to
Gladiatorial Games on the weekend of   the House.
June 26 and 27 that was organized by
Jarran.  Many members, most  notably   The  initiation fee  is 10000 coins,
Llorien, Cray,  Odds,  Gilthor,  and   to be  remitted at the  time of  the
Jarran  donated  many of  the  items   initiation.  The initiation requires
needed to award as prizes. The games   two  members of the  executive to be
were run rather well  for it being a   present  and the applicant.  Getting
first  time  for our house and I  am   our schedules together sometimes  is
sure that  we will  only get  better   difficult and patience is  needed at
with each consecutive game.            times.
The House members are fiercely loyal   We do  not have a  monthly or yearly
towards each other, as  readers will   fee beyond the  initiation fee,  but
surely recognize  this aspect of the   we do  ask that members  to actively
house after  having seen the actions   participate  in House  Events, where
of members of the House of Aspis  in   they are able.
defending  Lyrista during her plight
against  the  Dreamer.  All  can see   The criteria  for acceptance is that
what  price we may  pay for this, as   the  adventurer have  the spirit  of
it is rather evident on our gate.      helpfulness,  enjoy the  camaraderie
                                       of others, be of good character, and
The  House can  act as a mediator in   want  to more fully  join  into  the
disputes  according to the  Charters   adventure and excitement of Kulthea.
granted by the Council and will have
 _________                A Matter of Honor Part III  
/ \ _____ \               ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
\@| ~|_|~  |                    by Sean2 Lladd  
  |  | |   |  
 _|  |~|   |  
/@| _|~|_  | was  walking  down  the   peculiar way.
\_/ ~~~~~ / hall of my grandfather's
  ~~~~~~~~ castle.  Actually,  I was   Another one, this time a young girl,
to find out later that  it  was only   said quietly, "Leave  him alone,  he
one  of many  places  my grandfather   is just a child."
owned, but this was his favorite and
the only place I had ever lived.  To   "A  child!"  the first one exclaimed
a five year old boy on his first big   angrily. "Aye, it is just a child, a
adventure, away  from  his nurse, it   child which  caused the  death of my
was  a grand castle, enemy fortress,   cousin; a child  which brought shame
shadowy den of thieves, and abode of   and dishonor  to my  house;  a child
the gods all rolled into one.          which  proved exactly how stupid and
                                       worthless that  snivelling mass that
Today was  my birthday.  I was  five   calls itself humanity really is!"
years old -- that  magical age where
the years of your life  are equal to   "Where is your mother,  little ape?"
the number of  fingers on  one hand.   he sneered, turning back towards me,
Certainly old by anyone's standards,   staring angrily.
and surely old enough to show  my as
yet unseen  grandfather my new suit,   I stood there completely speechless,
without the aid and protection of my   suddenly  a  frightened  and  scared
nurse.                                 little boy again.  No matter what, I
                                       was not going to let him,  or any of
Here I  was, by turns  stalking that   the rest of  them, know that.  I too
greatest  of all thieves -- Malgenon   was a Son of The House T'Maerionnal.
the Merciless; then  striding  forth
as the savior of the world, going to   "I will  tell you  where she is!" he
meet his  reward at the hands of the   continued, anger and  hatred plainly
gods  themselves.  In effect,  doing   on his face.  "You killed her!  You,
what every  five year  old  boy  has   and that  piece of human  trash that
done on his first  real "adventure",   spawned you. You killed her, so that
exercising my imagination fully.       when  she  died,  little ape, so did
                                       the family's chances  at the throne.
"Well, well, well,"  came  a jeering   All because some  feckless  piece of
voice, waking me from my reverie.  I   human  dung  could not  control  his
was just about to receive my  reward   animal urges."
from  the goddess  Mellonolliar  and
was somewhat  surprised to find that   "Leave him  alone, Cal," the one who
I  was  surrounded  by  a  number of   had spoken earlier said again.
young men and women instead.
                                       Before she could say  anything more,
By  their clothing  and  carriage, I   the  one she  called Cal  wheeled on
surmised that  they were my cousins,   her and spat, "I  suppose you  think
I  was about to greet  them properly   that this worthless animal is better
when the one who  had spoken earlier   alive than my cousin!?"
                                       As soon as his gaze left me, I could
"What have we  here?  Mayhap  one of   feel  the tears  starting.  I thrust
the T'Maerionnal's trained apes?  He   my way through the gathered figures,
is definitely  some kind of  animal,   my only  thought  being to get  away
dressed up to mimic its betters."      before the one called  Cal could see
                                       my  tears.  For  some reason  it was
With the last,  he gave me a  slight   very important that he not know that
push and smiled at me  in  the  most   his words had caused me to cry.
                                   -=11=-                           More...
I brushed through them, running back   Finally,  the mage  simply  shrugged
the way I had come, tears  streaming   his shoulders and stated coldly,  "I
down  my  face.  Tears  for my  dead   have real students to teach.  I must
mother, and tears for me...            ask you  to leave  my classroom.  Or
                                       must I compel you?"
"Aye,  run little  ape!"  Cal yelled
after me. "Run like the cowards that   The last was stated with a hint of a
all humans are!  Run like the coward   threat in it, but  Grandmother Nolly
your father is!  Run little ape!!"     just continued to stare at him.
I ran...                               "Do you  think you  can, you  wicked
                                       little man?" she asked abruptly. The
             -----------               tone of  her voice  was  neutral and
                                       very soft. "He himself could was not
"I am  NOT  an animal  trainer!" the   able to  compel me  almost  thirteen
elderly  man  exclaimed.  "I  do not   years ago. What makes you think YOUR
take animals to be apprentices."       power and skill is greater?"
"But he is not an animal,"  my nurse   She added  something in  a  language
countered with  some  asperity.  "He   that I did not understand.  From the
IS a 'tek T'Maerionnal.  He deserves   looks on the faces that I could see,
the  same treatment  that all  other   neither did any of the others in the
members of the house receive."         room.  The  mage  evidently  did.  A
                                       strange look crossed his face and he
The argument had been going on for a   made a quick gesture with  his right
good ten  minutes, it appeared to me   hand.  My nurse  smiled frostily and
that neither side was going  to give   nodded at him.
in.  I was acutely  conscious of the
stares and smirks from  the students   "Come Sean,"  my nurse  said flatly,
scattered around the room.  However,   as  she turned to go.  "I doubt that
as usual, such  minor inconveniences   you would learn anything useful here
rolled right off my nurse like water   anyway."
off an oil-cloth.
                                       As  we left, I  caught the  faces of
The two were  starting in  all  over   some of  my "cousins".  There  was a
again.  " a human.  As far as I   mixture of hatred, and some fear, in
am  concerned, he is  no better than   all of them.  Whether it was for me,
any other  animal.  But,  before  we   or my nurse, I was not able to tell.
start this argument all over  again,   I could feel their eyes  watching us
the answer is no.  That is final."     as we left the room.
"I am not constrained to  honor your                ----------  
request," the mage continued, riding  
right over my nurse's  attempt at  a   I had been sitting within  the small
reply. "I serve the T'Maerionnal. If   garden next to our quarters for over
he comes to me and personally, I say   an hour.  Grandmother  Nolly brought
personally, commands  me to  attempt   out some luncheon  a little  earlier
to  teach that  animal magic, then I   and was sitting quietly to one side,
will attempt to do so.  Not before!"   mending one  of my  tunics.  I often
                                       wondered why my nurse did all of our
The mage drew himself up and  stared   cooking and cleaning, not to mention
haughtily at my nurse.  My nurse, or   why  she insisted  on being the only
as  I knew  her, Grandmother  Nolly,   one to mend and sew my clothing, but
merely  stood there, staring back at   whenever I broached the subject, she
my grandfather's senior  mage  as if   would just smile  and say "Because."
he were  a dirt smudge on  one of my   Which answer  left me no wiser  than
dress tunics.  The pause lengthened,   when I started.
no-one in the entire room so much as
twitched.                              The  rejection  by my  grandfather's
                                   -=12=-                           More...
mage, although not  unexpected,  was   could. "How may the House be served,
still a  raw  wound for  a  thirteen   uh, Captain?"
year old boy to deal with. I had not
said  anything  to Grandmother Nolly   The last was  something of  a guess,
about it,  she was  letting  me deal   mostly because I had  little contact
with it in my own way, so things had   with any  of my grandfather's troops
been fairly quiet the last few days.   up until now.  He just  stood there,
To a thirteen  year old  boy, moping   expectantly.
in martyrdom was  almost as good  as
being in love.                         "Oh," I said quickly blushing again.
                                       "Please be at ease.  It is  Captain,
"Ahem!"                                is it not?"
The voice broke into my reveries.  I   "Yes Sean, it is," he  replied as he
had been so caught up in my own self   relaxed.  "But  I would prefer it if
pity that I had completely failed to   you  call me  Callin.  That is short
note the entrance of  another person   for Callinthaerion.  Callin's easier
into the  garden.  To be  honest, no   to use  on the  training  field than
one ever came into this garden  with   Callinthaerion."
the  exception  of either  myself or
Grandmother Nolly.                     I had just started to relax when the
                                       implication  of  his last  statement
I looked up to see who would dare to   stunned  me all over  again.  Callin
consort with an animal such as I and   smiled at my  dazed look  and waited
nearly died of shame.  It was one of   patiently for me to recover.  Again.
my grandfather's  weapon-masters, he
was standing rigidly at presentation   "Captain," my nurse spoke from where
holding a perfect salute.  For a few   she was sitting. "Just what exactly,
moments I could only  stare in utter   are your  intentions  towards  Sean,
disbelief.  I had never been saluted   and by whose authority?"
by  anyone, although  I should  have
been, but to have this weapon-master   Callin  cast a  startled  glance  in
standing  in front of me  doing just   Grandmother Nolly's direction.
that  thing, was  more than  I could
assimilate.                            "Your pardon Lady, I did not see you
                                       sitting  there," Callin  said.  Yet,
The look on my  face must  have been   there was a hint of  question in his
too much for even  a veteran such as   voice, although his face betrayed no
he, because the muscles  on one side   outward emotion.
of his  face  started  to twitch and
his  eyes  suddenly  became  full of   "Indeed," she replied frostily. "Are
laughter. The twitching acted like a   you often in the habit of NOT taking
release, I quickly jumped to my feet   notice of things? Also, you have not
and  nearly going over  backwards in   answered the questions."
my haste.
                                       If it had not been for the fact that
He reached out  quickly and steadied   protocol forbade  me to turn  from a
me with surprising gentleness. After   request for  service,  I would  have
holding me  for a couple  of seconds   turned and stared at my nurse. I had
to  be sure I was not  going to fall   never  heard  her use  that tone  of
over again, he  winked, returning to   voice on  anyone.  Oh, she  had come
presentation and snapped out another   close to it  when she was addressing
crisp salute.                          my  grandfather's senior  mage,  but
                                       this was entirely different.
In a low voice, he stated, "My honor
to serve, 'tek T'Maerionnal."          The Captain stiffened slightly under
                                       her tone, and I  saw the  muscles of
"My honor to be  served and  for the   his jaw  begin to tense up.  Then he
service," I replied as smoothly as I   relaxed, and  gave Grandmother Nolly
                                   -=13=-                           More...
a brief salute, as if  acknowledging   accept me as your teacher?"
a successful hit by an opponent.
                                       "Do I mean..?!"
"Your concern  for the boy is highly
admirable,  Lady," he  said  with  a   "Yes Sean,  that IS  exactly  what I
smile.  "But your fears are, in this   mean," he said, quickly  matching my
case, without foundation."             burgeoning  smile  with his own.  "I
                                       will teach you weapons skills."
"My authority is my own.  I am under
contract, but not  sworn to the 'tek   "I mean after all," he continued. "A
T'Maerionnal. I am not O'lan, merely   fighter should fight not make shoes,
O'lun.  The T'Maerionnal commands my   or so I have been told."
sword, I  command  my  honor.  By my
honor, I swear that I mean  no harm,           [To be continued]
nor dishonor, to Sean."
I was  totally at sea.  This  entire
conversation had totally escaped me,   Good Roleplaying - Cont. from Page 8
I felt as if they were discussing me   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
in another language, the  only thing
that was recognizable was my name. I   One is probably enough. Two  is good
became even  more  confused  when my   too, but  there aren't enough  races
nurse came over  from  where she had   to have too many prejudices.
been sitting and placed three of her
fingers  lightly upon the  Captain's   Remember  to have fun. This  article
forehead.  They looked at each other   is designed to help you to have more
for a few seconds, then  Grandmother   more  fun, but  you  need  not  feel
Nolly withdrew  her hand and  nodded   obliged  to  restrict your character
to Callin.                             or  do any of this, if  you will not
                                       have fun doing it.
"So that is why you had stayed," she
said quietly.  "I wish you  had come   Try to  do more than just what bene-
sooner.  But, what is past is past,"   fits you. If you are truly  being in
she continued in a more normal tone.   character, you  will have fun.  Stay
"You two will have much to  discuss.   in  character as often  as  you can.
Sean, invite the  Captain to join us   For new  players, do not  worry  too
for luncheon.  I will bring us fresh   much  about this yet. Figure out the
servings."                             game first. But you can if you want,
                                       of course!
The last was said as she gathered up
my  untouched  luncheon  and  headed   GameMasters are watching, and some-
back into  our quarters.  I was left   times  if they see you being a good
standing with my  mouth hanging open   roleplayer, they  can  as  much  as
yet again.                             DOUBLE  how fast you absorb experi-
                                       ence. Some good incentive, huh?
Callin watched  Grandmother Nolly as
she left,  then turned  to me with a
rueful grin on his face.                              CATRISSA
"That,  young Sean, is  one  amazing               by Bugg Hornwort
woman!" he exclaimed with a shake of
his head.  "Well, I suggest we do as        Catrissa, with magic replete,
she says and sit down.  We DO have a       Is trying to master a new feat.
number of items to discuss."               She casts a spell like the rest,
                                                 To pop open a chest,
"The  first  thing we must discuss,"         Then catches the acid vials
he continued after we had both taken                in her teeth.
a seat.  "The first thing we have to
discuss is whether or  not you  will            @---'---,---'---,---@
  __\  ____\                                                             \
 /    / \__| ******  Kelfour Edition  --  Art & Poetry Corner  ********** |
|    |     |         ____________________________________________________/
|__   \___/_________/                                                  \
 /                                                                      |
 \        Voltaren Xanax, a curious name,                              _|
   \      did once attempt to achieve fleeting fame.                   \
    |     To the woods he set out, alone yet brave                      |
    |     fearing he'd Eissa in a dank old cave.                        |
    |                                                                   |
    |     Trudging along, wearing out his boots                         |
    |     he was all too easily startled by the owl and it's hoots      |
    |     Scouting past wolverines and branches of life,               _|
    |     he spied a young kobold wielding a knife.                    \
    |                                                                   |
    |     Unsheathing his gladius and holding his shield,               |
    |     he crept quietly forward to ambush his foe.                   |
    |     A twig underfoot his presence did signal                      |
    |     and forward he rushed, lest all be lost                       |
    |                                                                   |
    |     Sword against knife, shield against shield.                   |
    |     Fetid breath, a stench; he gagged.                           _|
    |     Recovering his wits, his sword he did swing,                 \
    |     the poison green cloud towards his foe did wing.              |
    |                                                                   |
    |     The billowing green cloud cast forth by his sword             |
    |     had caused the foul kobold to utter his last word.            |
    |     Yet death had not claimed him for he staggered away           |
    |     and Voltaren did follow him to end the fray.                  |
    |                                                                   |
    |     The kobold collapsed, the poison had worked.                 _|
    |     Young Voltaren knelt down and searched the corpse.           \
    |     A few coins, a knife and the foul stench again.               |
    |     Voltaren wrinkled his nose and stood back up.                 |
    |                                                                   |
    |     As he stood, pain careered through his body,                  |
    |     blood poured down his face.  He toppled face down.            |
    |     The karnelin attacked from behind again,                      |
    |     crushing his skull this time.                                 |
    |     Farewell Voltaren Xanax.  Fleeting fame indeed.              _|
    |                                                                  \
    |     - Voltaren Xanax                                              |
    |                                                                   |
    |                                                                   |
    |                                                                   |
    |                A halfling cleric named Bugg                       |
    |                Was once confused with a thug                      |
    |                Crying out "There he be!"                          |
    |                The constable arrested him with glee              _|
    |                And bashed him on the head with a mug.            \
    |                                                                   |
    |                - Mikhail Minnehan                                 |
    |                                                                   |
   /_________________                                                   |
  ||\                \___________________________________________________
  ||_|                                                                    \
  |  |  **********  Kelfour Edition  --  Art & Poetry Corner  **********   |
   \/____________________________________________________________________ /
  __\  ____\                                                             \
 /    / \__| ******  Kelfour Edition  --  Art & Poetry Corner  ********** |
|    |     |         ____________________________________________________/
|__   \___/_________/     The ABC's of Kulthea                         \
 /                        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~                          |
 \                         by Ram Youngblood                           _|
   \                                                                   \
    |         A is for the Alchemist, who sells us our potions          |
    |         B is for Bards, and their singing devotion                |
    |         C if for chests, coins galore                             |
    |         D is for delving into magical lore                        |
    |         E is for elves, a hobbit's enemy                          |
    |         F is for fighters, and their courage and bravery         _|
    |         G is for goodbyes, a time for tears                      \
    |         H is for Helga's, yell 'Cheers!'                          |
    |         I is for imagination, makes the world go 'round           |
    |         J is for Jarlik, furrier of the town                      |
    |         K is for the killing, you see it everyday                 |
    |         L is for the love, nights by Claedesbrim Bay              |
    |         M is for the mystic, Council of Light                     |
    |         N is for our nemeses, show us your might!                 |
    |         O is for ogres, take their treasure!                     _|
    |         P is for everyday Town Square pleasure                   \
    |         Q is for quarrels, they're unavoidable                    |
    |         R is for virtual Knights of the Roundtable                |
    |         S is for the sunny days in town                           |
    |         T is for tall tales thrown around                         |
    |         U is for Unlife, bound to doom                            |
    |         V is for vermin, they infest the tombs                    |
    |         W is for weddings, a joyous event                         |
    |         X is for eXcitement! Party in the tent!                  _|
    |         Y is for yarns of ages old tales                         \
    |         Z is for zealous searches of legendary trails             |
    |                  /                         |                      |
    |    _____________|_________________________\|/_____________________|
    |   |             |                      ----O----                  |
    |   |             |_________________________/|\_____________________|
    |   |_____________|__________________________|______________________|
    |                 |                                                 |
    |    /\ /\ /\ /\   \                                                |
    |   |()|()|()|()|                                                   |
    |   |  |  |  |  |                                                   |
    |   |==|==|==|==|                                                   |
    |   |  |  |  |  |  _                The Near Side                   |
    |   |  |  |  |  | //|               ~~~~~~~~~~~~~                   |
    |   |==|==|==|==|/ ||                ASCII Art by                   |
    |    \             /                Ram Youngblood                  |
    |     |           /                                                 |
    |     |          |                                                 _|
    |     | ________ |                                                 \
    |     |/ / / / /\|   The Mystic had bugged me one too many times... |
    |     | / / / / /|                                                  |
    |     |/ / / / / |                                                  |
   /_________________                                                   |
  ||\                \___________________________________________________
  ||_|                                                                    \
  |  | ***********  Kelfour Edition  --  Art & Poetry Corner  **********   |
   \/____________________________________________________________________ /
  __\  ____\                                                             \
 /    / \__| ******  Kelfour Edition  --  Art & Poetry Corner  ********** |
|    |     |         ____________________________________________________/
|__   \___/_________/                                                  \
 /                      Berek the lost                                  |
 \                      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~                                 _|
   \                    by Berek Bloodbane                             \
    |                                                                   |
    |                   Berek lead a party                              |
    |                   a hunting they did go.                          |
    |                   To hobland they did travel.                     |
    |                   himself, Zenjie and Akido.                      |
    |                                                                  _|
    |                   Many hobs did they kill.                       \
    |                   lorcs and even a Forest troll.                  |
    |                   Fate on them was smiling.                       |
    |                   They were on a roll.                            |
    |                                                                   |
    |                   But the forest grew too dark.                   |
    |                   The animals had all gone still.                 |
    |                   The party's mood grew somber.                   |
    |                   The hand of death they began to feel.          _|
    |                                                                  \
    |                   To home they all started.                       |
    |                   But destiny's dice had been tossed.             |
    |                   No sooner had they departed.                    |
    |                   That Berek noticed they were lost!              |
    |                                                                   |
    |                   Zenjie became quite fearful.                    |
    |                   For he was newly come.                          |
    |                   The party panic grew.                          _|
    |                   As they begain to run.                         \
    |                                                                   |
    |                   Berek stopped for a moment.                     |
    |                   From his backpack some papers he withdrew       |
    |                   "How could i have been so stupid."              |
    |                   "Zepath's maps will see us through!"            |
    |                                                                   |
    |                   Soon their course was righted.                  |
    |                   Kelfour's landing was soon sighted.            _|
    |                   The party became delighted.                    \
    |                   Berek vowed never to be so shortsighted.        |
    |                                                                   |
    |                                                                   |
    |                              RODDERS                              |
    |                              ~~~~~~~                              |
    |                          by Bugg Hornwort                         |
    |                                                                   |
    |                  It's quite easy to miss, don't you see,         _|
    |                  And the bane of disarming rookies.              \
    |                  Iliana found out,                                |
    |                  As have others no doubt,                         |
    |                  That rod traps can fry your cookies.             |
   /_________________                                                   |
  ||\                \___________________________________________________
  ||_|                                                                    \
  |  |  **********  Kelfour Edition  --  Art & Poetry Corner  **********   |
   \/____________________________________________________________________ /
 _______________                  RoboMagess  
/ \ ____    ____\                 ~~~~~~~~~~  
\@| +|~| __ |~|+|            by Belladonna Atropa
  |  |~|/~~\|~| |
 _|  |~/~/\~\~| |
/@| _|__/  \__|_|ith  as often  as I   stopped to stare at us for a second,
\_/_____________/ have been  knocked   which  was long enough to  give  the
down by golems and landed on a pouch   other golem  a  chance to step past.
full of wands, I  suppose it is  not   It did  not, of course.  It did step
much of a  surprise  that I  finally   to the side, but  then turned to see
started having  nightmares about the   what the other golem was looking at.
                                       I stopped  laughing in  a hurry  and
"Nice shot!"  I cried,  thumping our   yelled, "Doubles, we are leaving."
stalwart ranger soundly on the back.
                                       I spoke  too late.  The  ranger  had
I had  not realized  golems had ears   already charged the one golem facing
or brains that  mattered,  but  then   us, and the  swordsman was trying to
rapiers never lie, I could not argue   maneuver behind  the  golem  we  had
with the  thing  lying  dead at  our   almost run into. I began preparing a
feet.  We searched its chest cavity,   blur spell, suspecting we would need
but found no  coins, no gems and  no   extra  protection  long  before this
chests.                                fight was  even over,  but just that
                                       quickly, the fight was over.
"What is  the  point  of  building a
golem if you are  not going  to  put   One of  the golems  stomped, shaking
anything  in it?" I  sulked, but the   the ground violently and  sending us
ranger and  swordsman, in my company   all to the floor.
that day, had no answers.
                                       I jumped  up,  shouting, "Up!  Up!",
I had noticed that the swordsman, as   and  noticed that  the swordsman was
he called  himself, was rather handy   on his  feet again, still  trying to
with  a  lockpick,  but I  refrained   position himself  behind one  of the
from drawing any conclusions. On the   incarnations.  The ranger  was still
other hand, I made a note to myself,   lying  down, I fired  the blur spell
that we  would let  him  search  the   at him in a panic.
next  golem  we  found, in  case his
keen locksmith's eyes  might be able   It  was the  wrong thing to do.  The
to spot  something  I or  the ranger   ranger, who had  been having trouble
might miss.                            finding the ground, now had problems
                                       seeing his own feet as well. Looking
The rusting  remains of  this  golem   like  a fish  trying to  fly, he was
were no  longer  of any interest  to   flailing  about  helplessly  on  the
us, though I had always been curious   ground for a second or two.
if the things that built golems ever
tried to recycle  the  mess  we left   Quite suddenly, a third  golem  came
behind.                                stomping around the  bend behind us,
                                       literally, of course.  The two of us
With my two companions close behind,   who had regained our feet, fell once
I took a wide  turn around  the next   again.
corner and almost bumped into one of
two steel golems.  They were doing a   Things  seemed  to start  moving  in
sidestep dance, each trying  to step   slow motion.  I was trying to  stand
around the  other and continue their   again, but my body would not listen.
patrols,  but  being  blocked  every   The swordsman was up once again, but
time  by the other golem  making the   seemingly  frozen in the  middle  of
opposite move.  It would have been a   attacking one  of  the  golems.  The
great show if they'd kept it up, but   ranger was still sprawled out on the
naturally the one facing  towards us   ground, facing me, his mouth open as
                                   -=18=-                           More...
though he was trying to talk, but no   could only mean...
sound came out.
                                       Noticing  my  downward  gaze, Surtey
Then my observations was interrupted   announced  with  satisfaction, "Your
quite suddenly,  when one of the two   new heart.  There was  enough of the
golems we  had originally  run  into   old one left, that  all I  had to do
stomped again, his steel foot coming   was find  some way to plug the holes
down on my  outflung hands, that was   your ribcage made."
the last thing I  remembered until I
woke up...                             I looked at the ranger, bewilderment
                                       crossing my face.  "You got  stepped
I woke up in Surtey's tent. I should   on twice," he explained.  "The first
have known better  than to go  golem   one stepped on your hands, while the
hunting when  the healers  were  all   second  one stepped  on your  chest.
asleep.  Looking infuriatingly proud   You were wearing an amulet..."
of  himself,  the malpractice expert
was beaming at me.                     "Surtey, what  did you use  to 'plug
                                       the holes?'" I croaked.
"See? I told you she would be fine,"
Surtey said happily.                   "Well, there were  quite a few  good
                                       sized pieces of that amulet left."
I recognized the voice of the ranger
before I  spotted him sitting in the   I rubbed at  a pain in my chest that
corner of the  tent.  "Fine?  She is   I half suspected existed only  in my
awake.  I do not know how 'fine' she   mind.  There  was suddenly a buzz of
is going to be when  you get through   thoughts filling my head.
explaining all the little short cuts
you took."                             With an  ache of  resentment growing
                                       by the second in my chest, I pointed
Short  cuts?!  What  was  he talking   an inflexible  digit at  Surtey  and
about?  What had  the  butcher  done   demanded, "Just  what  the  hell did
this time?  I looked around  for the   you do to me, anyways?"
swordsman, but  if he  had a hand in
the  end of  the battle, I suspected   "Well," he sputtered, seemingly very
he had, then he left  before  seeing   surprised by  my  displeasure,  "you
me through  to  recovery.  I made  a   were bleeding.  You were practically
note to check my pockets, as soon as   crushed  to  death,  I needed  to do
I felt up to moving again.             something to keep you from  bleeding
                                       to death."
I tried to rub some of the sleep out
of my eyes, that  was when I noticed   Noticing  the look  on my  face,  he
the first of the short cuts that had   continued on, "You were wearing some
been mentioned.                        kind of hide armor with metal worked
                                       into it,  that  had  gotten  smashed
My hands!  Instead  of fingers, each   into your chest pretty  good, it was
hand was now tipped with four wands,   a steel golem that did the smashing.
and an opposable lockpick. I groaned   I should mention  that the golem was
in terror and dismay, then opened my   pretty  nearly  destroyed when  that
eyes to look again. Instead of index   amulet you  were  wearing  exploded,
and middle  fingers, each  hand  had   which may explain how  parts of  the
two golden wands.  A  metal wand had   golem ended up fused into the mix."
replaced  each ring finger, two iron
wands took the place  of my pinkies,   "The amulet  exploded?"  I asked  in
and  a xeno  lockpick provided  what   shock.
meager grip I  had  in  either hand.
                                       Surtey nodded slightly.
For a moment, I thought my heart had
stopped.  Then I  suddenly  realized   "Then how do  you explain  the  fact
that strange feeling inside my chest   that when I rub my chest, I can pick
                                   -=19=-                           More...
up the amulet?"                        He was  back to  beaming again.  "We
"Well, it is rather complicated." He
seemed glad that  the discussion had   I did not feel like  such a success,
taken a more technical turn.           but  I did  not feel up  to  arguing
                                       with him any  more.  I stood up  and
"You see,  I had to several powerful   glanced  down to  make sure  my legs
healing herbs, not to mention my own   were  still my own, and  started  to
surgical  skill, to use  what pieces   leave the tent.
of the amulet there were imbedded in
you to  repair  your  heart.  When I   As I was leaving, Surtey's assistant
realized  that your heart  would not   approached me and mentioned the cost
beat properly unless all parts of it   for the healer's services which came
were working,  we  had to  find some   to 1,400 silvers.
way to get the pieces of the  amulet
working as well.  So we..."  As  his   I  fixed  Surtey  with a  hard look.
voice  trailed off, he looked to the   "Did  my  purse  come  through  this
ranger for help.                       intact or shall I just drop my liver
                                       in the collection plate?"
"We had to  take you  up to the moon
chamber on Iorak's  Reach,  and  put   "No, no!"  he exclaimed.  "I checked
you on the altar to recharge you."     that right after he brought you in,"
                                       He paused for  a second,  and seemed
"Sorry?" I asked in disbelief.         to be gathering his thoughts.  "Your
                                       liver, I mean. It is fine. I did not
"You should  consider  the benefits.   find any traces of silvers or a coin
As long as you keep recharging  that   purse in the damaged areas."
amulet, it can not blow  up.  It did
that once already.  You just have to   I looked over at the ranger. "Do not
make sure that  it never runs out of   worry," he said.  "I caught the, uh,
charges completely.  With the wands,   'swordsman'  before he  disentangled
it is not such  a big  deal.  Surtey   your  purse entirely.  Where did you
figures the  worst that  can happen,   think your new thumbs came from?" he
if they run completely dry, is  that   asked, grinning.
you might  not be  able to move that
'finger' till you recharge it."        He gave Surtey's assistant  a couple
                                       of  gems,  then  handed  the  rather
"You will probably be the very first   depleted coin  purse  back to me.  I
magess in Kulthea to use metal armor   hefted it carefully and quietly went
and still be able to move." he added   outside.
                                       The ranger  followed, and I gave him
"Metal armor?!"                        my evaluation.  "It is pretty light,
                                       but I think it ought to  hold out at
"Well, sort of  both, really.  There   Helga's, for a while at least."
is metal and hide sort of  all fused
together.  It should  protect you as   He  grinned in agreement and we made
well as both, I am hoping."            our way slowly over  to the  rickety
                                       stairway. Fortunately, I had been up
"Right.  Because if it  does not, it   those  stairs  enough  times  that I
will leave me as vulnerable as both.   never even glanced  at the handrail,
Why not  just let  me  die and  hope   but I made a  note to  keep drinking
Eissa can straighten things out?"      to a minimum. I did not want to find
                                       out on the  way down the stairs just
"You were  basically  dead  already.   how weak my new grip was.
This friend of yours convinced  me I
should try to revive you.  He seemed   "So, tell me," I said as  we settled
to  think it  was  important  to  at   at a table  as far  from the counter
least try. We did better than that."   as possible, "what happened up there
                                   -=20=-                           More...
after I blacked out? After the thing   had kept  the  thief's  laen shield,
stepped on my hands?"                  since he doubted  the thief would be
                                       needing it any  more.  It was not my
"Well, I  am not  quite  sure, but I   color, but  I figured for now it was
would say there were  probably  some   better than a kobold special. When I
pretty  confused  navigators at that   tried to hold it, though, I found it
point."                                almost impossible to  keep the thing
                                       facing in  the  right direction.  My
I fixed him with a blank look.         fingers were too inflexible  to grip
                                       it  by themselves and  my  thumb was
"Well, you were wearing a gold ring,   too short to control it.
if  you remember.  Anyways,  when he
stepped  on  your hands,  the  golem   The  falchion was  the same problem,
disappeared about the same time that   only worse. Trying to actually swing
ring did."                             that thing  with  straight  fingers,
                                       was like trying to tie  a knot using
I looked down at my "hands."  He was   chopsticks.
right,  of  course.  I  had no  ring
left, not that I would have had much   After a few visits to both Tyron and
luck using  it  anyways,  especially   Aznell, we were  able to  find  ways
with no fingers.                       around the problems.  We managed  to
                                       work out a kind of cup hilt  for the
"Then the other golem stepped on you   falchion that  fitted fairly well to
and  died when the  amulet exploded,   the  back of my hand.  I could bring
which left me and the  thief against   it around almost  entirely  with  my
the third golem.  He did a  good job   xeno thumb.
for a while, hiding, and jumping out
to attack, then hiding again.  After   The shield straps were modified into
a while though, he just hid and then   longer,  straighter  sheaths that  I
stayed  hidden.  It  was  not  until   could slide my "fingers" into, which
after  I finally finished  the golem   gave me much better stability than I
off that I noticed what he was up to   had with my regular hand. Of course,
with your purse.  Oh, and thanks for   learning to fight this way was a new
the blur, by the way.  Every  little   challenge, so  I had to  spend a few
bit helped."                           weeks fighting kobolds and orcs just
                                       to get the hang of things.
I smiled. It occurred to me that was
my first smile since I had opened my   To my surprise, spellcasting had not
eyes.  "Thank you for helping me."     changed much. The same hand gestures
                                       seemed to work, even  if I could  no
"I know  it did  not turn  out quite   longer  bend  my  fingers  into  the
the way you would have liked..."       right shapes.  My aim with bolts and
                                       blurs was  actually  better  than it
"Well,  that is  not your  fault.  I   had been before.
will burn Surtey down for it  later,
at  least as  soon  as I get all  my   Eating,  counting  coins, retrieving
fingers fully charged."                items from  my backpack were all but
                                       impossible, I nearly  starved before
He  laughed,  which  was  nice.  The   I  finally figured out to just stick
longer we sat and talked, the less I   with pasta and skip  the fork.  That
felt like a failed lab experiment.     introduced the problem of keeping my
                                       hands  clean, but  that was far from
As far as experiments go, there were   the hardest thing I ever learned.
a  few drawbacks.  My  fingers  were
much  longer  than my thumbs,  which   Waving at friends was a habit I  got
caused all kinds of problems when  I   out of in a hurry.  I  settled for a
tried picking things up.               smile and hugs for close friends.
The ranger had saved my falchion and   After a couple of  months, I settled
                                   -=21=-               (Cont'd on Page 23)
 ____________          Monster Chronicles: Steel Golems
/ \  ______  \         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
\@| /~/~~\~\ |                by Jarran Terraxx
  ||~|    |~||
 _||~|    |~||
/@| \~\__/~/ |f  all  the  creatures   around a  corner and whammo, a golem
\_/  ~~~~~~  / in the lands that any   hit  me right  square in  the chest.
  ~~~~~~~~~~~ have ever faced,  none   Naturally,  this  did not do  me any
is more frightening than a creation.   good,  as I quickly  discovered that
When I say creation, I am  referring   it  is impossible  to breath  with a
to  the  constructs  known as  Steel   completely crushed chest cavity.
Golems, are  more commonly known  as
Steelies.                              The cleric  who came to my aid could
                                       have  stuck his whole  head  in  the
Fearing  these constructs is  rather   hole in my chest.  That gives you an
understanding.  These  huge metallic   idea just how  big these walking tin
construct were specifically made for   cans really are.
people to fear it, though their main
purpose is to carry the  treasure of   Now that  you have  an idea  of what
those that made them.  Though  these   they  can do, lets go  over their OB
days  they seem to  be carrying less   and DB, (more commonly known as  the
and less treasure.                     Offensive and Defensive Bonus).
Enough  about their reason for their   Golems are  one of  the most  feared
existence, let us turn our attention   fighters around. The reason for this
to what these powerful creatures can   is their incredible power.  Their DB
do.  They are not known to  have any   alone is 105, and it is very hard to
brain, however, they  are capable of   hit  them  with  almost any  weapon.
carrying out simple commands. One of   However, it is rumored  that rapiers
those  commands  being, to kill  any   have the best to hit against them.
any adventurers they see. Believe me
when I say they do it rather well.     Their DB, however, is not what makes
                                       them so formidable,  instead, it  is
I am  presently in  my 16th  year of   the various  forms of  attacks  they
training and  I still will not  hunt   can effectively use. More often than
these metal monstrosities by myself.   not, I have  found myself  with some
Usually it is not wise for anyone to   serious bodily harm because I made a
hunt Golems by themselves, as I will   mistake in  figuring that  because I
explain why.                           was  safe from  one form of  attack,
                                       that I was also safe from the others
As I mentioned,  Golems are  made of   as well.  That error  has cost  me a
steel,  entirely,  from  the top  of   few deeds, not to mention a few body
their heads,  right down to  the tip   parts that were necessary to live.
of their toes. This metal makes them
very  hard  to hit  and do any  real   So here is  a quick run  down on the
damage  to.  They also  have no need   various attacks they  can use.  They
for weapons, in  fact, they  are the   have  two weaker  forms  of attacks,
weapon.  Getting pounded  by a steel   one being a normal swing at you  and
fist from one of these behemoths can   the other a  pounding fist,  usually
really ruin your day.                  at your head.  Both of these attacks
                                       give  the golem a  90 OB.  There  is
Let me tell you about my last run in   very little  to  worry  about  these
with Golems so you  can get an  idea   attacks usually. Unfortunately, this
just how nasty these guys can be.  I   is where most  people make their big
was walking  around up  in the steel   mistake. They think that if they can
halls  where Golems  hang  out, just   keep from  getting hit  by these two
kind of  minding  my  own  business.   attacks, that  they  are  completely
Well, I must  have been making  some   safe.  This is completely FALSE!  As
noise or something,  because  I came   I stated before, that is only two of
                                   -=22=-                           More...
the attacks they can use.              of  stuff.  Also,  be  careful  when
                                       handling these chests they are level
The other two, more  lethal forms of   two chests, and are usually trapped.
attacks  the golems use,  are  their   So keep caution when opening one.
fists as hammers,  and they  can try
to ensnare you.  From my experiences   So if you are ever out there hunting
with  golems, I quickly  discovered,   steelies alone, and they turn you in
much to  the loss  of my life  and a   to a giant pancake, then do  not say
deed, that their most dangerous form   I did not warn you.  However, if you
of attack, is the ensnare.  I  found   ever see me  hanging out in the Town
out just  how dangerous, when I  let   Square, and want  to go  out steelie
my parry down to 10 so I could get a   hunting, then ask me, I will be more
better hit on a golem, and found out   than happy to join you.
that when they try  to ensnare, they
only need  a to  hit  of  40.  Well,     ________________________________
naturally,  that  left me completely    /                                \
defenseless as  the  golem  spun  me   | Steel Golem :                    |
around, causing me to lose my shield   |                                  |
and my footing.  Then it followed up   | Towering above  even a High Man, |
with a crushing blow to my head, and   | this evil mockery of mortal life |
I bit the dust.                        | is crafted  from steel worthy of |
                                       | the finest armor-maker.  Given a |
However,  to make  things even  more   | foul semblance  of existence and |
exciting, golems have discovered the   | animated  solely by a desire for |
art  of stomping.  Quite  often, the   | destruction this terror will not |
golem  gets  sneaky  and  literally    | be stopped by the faint of heart.|
stomps his foot  down.  Well,  being    \________________________________/
the fact that they  are so huge, the
whole room tends  to shake from this
impact and unfortunately, the unwary   Robo-Magess      Cont'd from Page 21
adventurer usually  finds themselves   ~~~~~~~~~~~
lying  on their backs.  Which leaves   into a fairly routine  existence.  I
them in a very  bad position as  the   went up to  Iorak's once a  week and
golem comes stomping down on various   rested on the  altar while I  slowly
parts of their bodies. It is usually   recharged.  I was careful to use all
not a very pretty sight.               my  finger wands  equally and often,
                                       so  I  never  approached  the  altar
It is also not  very smart to go out   worrying about  blowing up  my hands
to steelies alone.  I quickly  found   before my heart recharged.
this out, when  I was facing off one
golem, and another  one  came around   I  had  become  fairly  skillful  at
the corner,  first thing it  did was   stacking coins and could stack up to
stomp and send me  falling face down   thirty coins, or any multiple of ten
on the floor, just in  time for  its   up to that, in a matter  of seconds.
partner to clobber me a good one. So   I  had  learned  how  to fight  with
do not be fooled by them, golems are   spells and with my modified weapons,
a lot smarter than we give credit to   I  had even started  taking interest
them for.                              in lockpicking. My friends no longer
                                       ducked out of sight when they saw me
As far as treasure goes, golems used   enter a room.
to be very rich on treasure,  always
keeping  their masters  treasure  in   I made it.  I made the adjustment, I
their  bodies.  However, recently, I   had survived my own transformation.
have found  golems to  be very  poor
and if I find  anything at  all,  it   I was  finally  ready to  go back to
is usually small trinkets of no real   golems,  but were  golems ready  for
value.  Although,  on  the few times   me?  There was only one to find out.
that I have  found chests, they have
been more often than not, quite full             [To be Continued]
 ______________                  Wish List  
/ \ ____  ____ \                 ~~~~~~~~~  
\@| ~| |  | |~ |              by Baphomet Eris  
  |  |~|--|~|  |
 _|  |~|--|~|  |ere are some places,   [Kobold-Pitch, End of The Green]
/@| _|~|  |~|_ |  creatures,     and
\_/ ~~~~  ~~~~ / things I think many   You are  standing at  the end  of  a
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ of  the  adventurers   well-manicured  green that stretches
in Kelfour's Landing  (including me)   for some 75 feet to the south. Every
would like to see.                     five feet the green is marked with a
                                       colorful  flag.  In  several  places
First, some Places:                    there are  dents in the ground where
                                       an  over - zealous  adventurer   has
[Free Stuff, Main Showroom]            pitched  his kobold  with  too  much
                                       force and not  enough  grace. To the
The  shelves filling  this  room are   west side  of the  green is  the pen
laden with  a startling  variety  of   where  justifiably  nervous  kobolds
goods. Enchanted  shaalk weapons sit   mill around. To the east side sits a
next to  laen shields  that  radiate   table where the kobold-pitching har-
power. Staves  of awesome might rest   nesses are kept.
on the  same shelves  as potions  of
untold wonder. Amulets, runes--it is   Obvious exits: south
a virtual "What's What" of enchanted
items of Quellbourne. The incredible   Next, Creatures:
thing is not the selection,  though;
it is the price tags on the items --   [Lower Dragonsfang, Path]
all are free! The shopkeeper stands
ready to give you anything you want.   A path  runs through  the grasslands
                                       surrounded on either side by plastic
Obvious exits: out                     pink flamingos.
[Power-O-Rama, Main Room]              Obvious exits: north, south
The only furnishing  of this spartan   A Snarg ambles in.
room is a sign. There are also a red
door, black door, and white door.      >Describe Snarg
Obvious exits: out                     Standing about 3 feet tall, weighing
                                       approximately 15  pounds, the  Snarg
>Read sign                             is  made  entirely of  tissue paper!
                                       Blazoned across  its chest  are  the
The sign reads:                        words, "Kill  Me! I am  worth  1,000
  ________________________________     experience points!"  Obviously, this
 //    Welcome to Power-O-Rama!   \    is a  sought-after creature for many
||     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~    |   adventurers.
||   Let us Electrify Your World!  |
||   No CHARGE for our services    |   [Upper Kaldsfang, Forest]
|| in this non-profit organization |
||                                 |   The trees  here have been  decorated
||   COMPLETE ITEM RECHARGING      |   ceremonially   with  liverwurst  and
||       Use the Red Door          |   headcheese  sandwiches tied  up with
||                                 |   leather thongs. Their aromatic smell
|| COMPLETE POWER POINT RESTORATION|   brings joy to your nostrils.
||       Use the Black Door        |
||                                 |   Obvious exits: south, southeast
||       Use the White Door        |   A Gofarth wanders in.
||      Have a Great Day!          |
 \\_______________________________/    >Describe Gofarth
                                   -=24=-                           More...
This unusually strong creature seems   cold backs. Their  reason for carry-
to be wearing armor made exclusively   ing the kegs is  unknown; and people
from  small chests. None of them are   for the  most part  do not  care, as
covering any vital organs, and their   long as the Kegworms keep coming!
weight  causes  the Gofarth to  move
extremely slowly.                      Finally, Things:
[Valley, Narrow Passage]               You see a helm covered  with strange
                                       symbols. Closer inspection shows you
You work through a narrow passageway   that  these  symbols are  writing in
lined  with crude and nasty drawings   ancient  common! They read, "My par-
obviously  made by  goblins. In some   ents went to  Kelfour's  Landing and
places,  wandering adventurers  have   all they got me was this helm."
left "contributions" as well.
                                       >Search Orc
Obvious exits: out, up
                                       The orc was wearing leather armor, a
A Kegworm slithers in.                 shield,  and  a t-shirt  that reads,
                                       "I'm with stupid."
>Describe Kegworm
                                       Boxer  Shorts  of Power:  When worn,
This creature is  a constant  source   give the  wearer a +25  to Defensive
of joy  to  the thirsty  adventurer.   Bonus  against  any attack involving
Relatively  easy  to  kill, Kegworms   melvins (known in some parts of Kul-
are  known for the large kegs of ale   thea as snuggies).
that  they  carry strapped  to their
  __\  ____\                                                             \
 /    / \__|                                                              |
|    |     |         ____________________________________________________/
|__   \___/_________/                                                  \
 /                                                                      |
 \                                                                     _|
   \           /-=-=-=-Top Fame List for Race & Class-=-=-=-=\         \
    |           Fighter     Waldo2 Ptolomy             26  HE           |
    |           Thief       Artuero Bresnahanini       34  FE           |
    |           Ranger      Fxg Lyon                   29  HE           |
    |           Bard        Enegue LionHeart           34  HM           |
    |           Cleric      Lairaerrykthrok TykilVuul  32  HL           |
    |           Healer      Strom O'Berin              49  HI          _|
    |           Mage        Dartaghan Darkstar         33  HL          \
    |           Sorcerer    Nixie Trevize              27  HE           |
    |          =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=          |
    |           High Man    Enegue LionHeart           34  BA           |
    |           Common Man  Dreamweaver Oenothara      17  BA           |
    |           Half-Elf    Fxg Lyon                   29  RA           |
    |           High Elf    Strom O'Berin              49  HE           |
    |           Fair Elf    Artuero Bresnahanini       34  TH           |
    |           Wood Elf    Joquain Denark             20  MA          _|
    |           Dwarf       Aeklug Baeyenbreghaldt     28  CL          \
    |           Halfling    Dartaghan Darkstar         33  MA           |
    |          -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-          |
    |           Note: 'HI' is High Elf and 'HE' is Half-Elf.            |
    |          \=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=/          |
   /_________________                                                   |
  ||\                \___________________________________________________
  ||_|                                                                    \
  |  |                                                                     |
   \/____________________________________________________________________ /
                                Riddle Me This  
                               by Glynn Nebula  
Below, are 5 riddles,  read them, speak them,  search them, seek them, then
tell me what they are.  
 /                                                                       \
|   1)          I am a foe you can not defeat with a sword,               |
|               But I can be conquered with a single word.                |
|              Yet, men and gods send me to oppose all foes.              |
|          Many will fall perplexed and bewildered as their woes.         |
|                 My only weapon is but mere suggestion,                  |
|              whereas yours lies before you as a question.               |
  ________________________________     __________________________________
 /                                \   /                                  \
| 2) Men and their like,           | |    3)                              |
|      seek a splendor eons old.   | |                                    |
|    Precious to many,             | | A field of stones,                 |
|      preferred by most.          | |  in memory of days all in the past.|
|    It is treated harshly,        | | Where all creatures are equal.     |
|      with knifes most sharp.     | | Where many stop here to rest,      |
|    They seek not its skin,       | |  after the long day of tolling.    |
|      made of earth's bone,       | |                                    |
|      but the rainbow within.     | |                                    |
|    Its cold rigid heart.         | |                                    |
 \________________________________/   \__________________________________/
 /                                                                       \
|   4)           We live at the borders of kingdoms four.                 |
|              Our blood is a balance from forces of lore.                |
|                     One is used to build a wall.                        |
|                    One is destined to always fall.                      |
|                    One is found in an empty hall.                       |
|                  One is yearning to grow very tall.                     |
|                    Answer now and name them all.                        |
 /                                                                       \
|  5)             I am a chameleon with a silver shell.                   |
|                I am often stared at yet rarely beheld.                  |
|           I never lie, always telling truthfully what I see,            |
|             no matter how backwards and misplaced it may be.            |
|                My health is fragile and easily broken.                  |
|               Reflect now, and let the answer be spoken.                |
 /                                                                       \
| Answers:  1) ???????                                                    |
|           2) ????????, or ???, or ?????                                 |
|           3) ?????????                                                  |
|           4) ?????, ?????, ???, ????        Answers will be published   |
|           5) ??????                         in the next Kelfour Edition |
 ____________              The Other Side of Glory:
/ \ _________\          Thoughts Overheard in the Wild
\@| ||=|=|=|| |         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  | ~~ |_| ~~ |                by Warlok T'lark
 _|    |_|    |
/@|   _|_|_   | houghts  transcribed   A  mantle of  sweat  hangs  in beads
\_/__________/ and  re-written  here   from my forehead, constantly running
were originally those of common man,   into them."
thus were in the simple and ungainly
common language.  The notes taken at   "How could just anyone write an epic
the time were  then recorded,  where   story,  having been  in any  type of
possible, with great  difficulty and   fight, how could they ignore it?"
forbearance  in translating the more
coarse common tongue, to  the fairer   "If  the only  thing I  had to  deal
language  of  the  Elves.  Thus  the   with was sweat, perhaps it would not
crude  vocabulary with  which it was   be so bad.  If only.. there were not
originally  made has  been  replaced   the  other things  chiseling away at
for  one of understandability.  As a   my attempts to blanket my conscious,
result this transcription  reflects,   freshly steamed cloth wound a bit to
even in its rendering  back into the   tightly around  your  head.  Kind of
common language,  some of the Elvish   like  men use  after a  shave,  only
form and vocabulary.                   here its  around my  head, not face,
                                       and is completely  involuntary.  The
"Sweat."                               constant pressure and  heat from the
                                       helm, the  dampness from the lining,
"Funny,  the  Bards never sing of it   its all getting to me.  Tearing what
in  their gossamer  tales,  braggers   little is left of my will down piece
never talk of it.. What am I saying,   by piece."
heck  the  braggers  probably  never
even knew about it."                   "Strange, I can perceive my thoughts
                                       and responses skipping around  in my
"Perspiration,  as much as I hate to   head, I know they  ramble  about the
be  inflicted with  it,  I am  stuck   inconsequential, still I feel unable
without recourse.  My body is coated   to control  or channel cover  I have
with a fine sheen of this irritating   enmeshed myself  in.
concession to the physical  morality
of the body.  I can feel rivulets of   The brush  and branches  of my cover
it cascading down my face,  coursing   so entwined  around  myself  and  my
along the surface of my insects. One   head  would create  a  sound, like a
of  the insects, a  gnat I think, in   bear charging through the underbrush
its haste, makes a poor decision and   a noise I am quite sure would rocket
sets down on my face.  Before it can   through the  woods,  giving away  my
fly off again, it is swept away by a   position to those who hunt us, me."
turbulent river of perspiration."
                                       "Damn bugs."
"The insect goes  almost  unnoticed,
almost, amongst the  parade of other   "Oh Gods and Lords what are we doing
messages  flung at me by  my senses.   here!"
My body and mind crying out for  the
attention of my consciousness."        "The desperation wells up inside me.
                                       I so want  to wipe  my face.  To get
"You  know,  it never occurred to me   rid of the sting within my eyes, the
before, but no one ever thinks about   itching  sensation  on my  face,  my
the sensation of simply sweating.  A   body, shield  entwined  around us so
talisy tossed aside."                  thickly is poised to betray.  Simple
                                       movements like breathing, could give
"This condition  is more than a mere   us away. Give me away."
mental impression, already it caused
my eyes to  become a constant sting.   "Breathing."
                                   -=27=-                           More...
"Waging a  battle, no  more  immense   Jarak. Come back to me Jarak...."
than  that  of  simple  survival,  I
struggle  to keep  my breath  quiet.   "Alone..."
After  running  as hard as we had to
reach this  plant created asylum, my   "Never again will there be an us."
lungs aching and throbbing, my basic
compulsion is to pull deeply within.   "I  wanna go home.  Gods and  Lords,
To lay  panting on  the ground  like   curse the unlife, curse the tales of
some sorrowful marooned fish."         heroism.  I  wanna go  home.  Dad, I
                                       should have listened up here.  In my
"Often some  tale we had listened to   mind it all seems  so cloudy and far
would  mention  in Have  to push the   away.  Unreal. A life lived, but not
thoughts of  sweat and noise from my   my life. No, my entire life has been
concentration.  Must try to maintain   crouched here in the woods.  Hiding.
my focus.  Have to stay focused if I   With the corpse of the only friend I
want to live.  What can I  focus on?   ever had, sprawled at my feet."
Will no one help me...?"
                                       "Those  other  memories can  not  be
"Help...."                             mine.  They are not me.  Still, if I
                                       wish to survive this.  I had  better
"I am not supposed to be scared! The   concentrate on that fog.  Pull those
hero is never scared.  The  champion   memories  back in  and make the past
is  never so  encumbered that simple   life seem real.  If...."
swallowing  is like  choking down  a
whole dry biscuit  in one go.  Never   "I see myself, I see us, Jarak and I
scared.  Always bold and calm as ice   sitting in my fathers shed, mugs sit
while  the  world  erupts  in  chaos   atop  the oak mantle running all the
around him.                            way around, sit expectant of thirsty
                                       customers. Around the pit the tables
That is  the way  it is  in stories.   are arranged, almost in militaristic
The  supposed  advice  as to what  I   formation....Arranged that  is until
should think about.  No instructions   the evening patrons arrive and scoot
or words on how to maintain calm. No   them around for their own needs."
wisdom on what to do to control your
mind, yourself.  No help."             "We used  to sit on the ledge around
                                       the fire pit and listen to  the  men
"I  have got to  fight. Do not think   who came in  for meals  or drink, or
about it."                             those who came just to lounge around
                                       in the middle of the day. On special
"The contest is a losing struggle."    occasions, that is  where Lords sit.
                                       What did  I know.  I had  never even
"The past comes unbidden."             travelled much outside the inn. True
                                       Lords would never  even come to such
"Jarak's  foot is resting against my   a simple  place  as this.  At  least
boot, I can  feel him.  Strange.  So   that is what I think now."
strange  that I can  feel  the light
resting pressure of his foot through   "Those false lordlings would sit and
the side of  the thick leather boots   talk for hours. Telling tales of how
that I wear. His foot...."             they had killed some creature.  Some
                                       kind of fearsome battle with a horde
"Did you not say something you fool!   of Manticores  and Cockatrices, them
You Idiot!  Oh Jarak...."              alone  against the odds.  Destroying
                                       all those  arrayed against them.  It
"It took so long. I tried so hard. I   made our hearts pound and our dreams
could not stop the blood.  Could not   soar.  We had wanted to be just like
keep the wound closed  or hold  your   them.
insides within you when they started
to fold out.  The blood.  The smell.   If they had struggled against what I
The flies buzzing everywhere. Jarak!   had seen  this day,  and  went back.
                                   -=28=-                           More...
Awe is what I feel for them. Awe and   "Howling  in glee  at the  sight  of
admiration.  I wish  now that  I had   blood, at the sight of  victory, the
fallen in with a  true Lord or Lady.   orc did not see  what happened next.
Someone who had seen the servants of   Jarak's  body  blocked  its  line of
the unlife.  Someone who could  have   sight."
trained me or warned me away. I wish
that had happened.  I wish...          "In the few  seconds it took to howl
                                       in glee, I threw the broken sword at
"No, my  hatred is  for those  false   it. I was lucky. The hilt hit him on
lords. Those cowards, things calling   the exposed part of his face.  Not a
themselves men. Making up stories of   serious blow. But the impact between
their  bravery,  but  in  truth more   his eyes stunned  him for  a second,
afraid of the cock crowing at dawn.    caused  his  eyes to tear up,  which
                                       momentarily blinded  him.  I grabbed
Not on  your body, on your thoughts.   within him. The muscle wall, damaged
On  hate.  I  wonder if  talking  to   by the sword  cut, gave way.  I just
myself is a sign  I am crazy?  Is it   watched as  his insides slowly began
crazier to ask myself if I am crazy?   spilling out, unraveling. Watched as
What if I answer yes?  Concentrate."   he panicked to  stay alive.  Watched
                                       as he cried, then died."
"Where was I? oh yes the inn and the
tales, the hate."                      "A slow painful death.  I would have
                                       been sick, but my mind was numb with
"We saved  the money  my father gave   the realness  of the moment.  Surely
to us each day for almost two years.   this could  not be happening.  It is
Listening to  the  yarns  the  whole   never  this way in the stories.  The
time.  When we  were ready,  the men   Hero gutted alive.  The evil monster
took our  money and  bought us a few   free."
pieces  of cheap leather  armor  and
some old poorly wrought swords. None   "Oh Lords and Gods. My Dad warned me
ever mentioned how to move quietly."   there was nothing else.  The heroism
                                       coursing through my veins.  I do not
"In the end I think, I think we were   hear  the sounds of glory trumpeting
lucky there was only one.  We. I was   in my ears. All I feel is the desire
lucky."                                to go home.  To lie down and cry. To
                                       wish with the very fiber of my being
"The Orc sprang  out in front of us.   that today had never happened....
Its  body unfolding  from within the
surroundings, as  if the land itself   "If I make it home, there is a thing
had spewed it out."                    I must do.  Some men  who need to be
"Our training, which at the time was
very little,  was brought  into play   "All in all, I just wanna go home.."
with all our concentration. Our very                 _      _
little training,  so far it was just                \@@\__/ @|
enough  to  keep us  alive.  Barely.                 |/   |@|\\
While the  Orc  continued  to slowly                /_    __ ||\__
hammer away and gain the advantage."               | o/ / o>   |@@\
                                                   / /_   __/  |  @@\
"We were no challenge to it."                      \_\/__ /    |    @@\
                                                     ----     / \    | |
"Then the  bottom dropped out of our                /@@@@@@@@@@ |    | |
chance for survival. My sword broke.                |@@@@@@@@@@ | |  | |
The  cheap metal  snapping  like  an                | @@@@@@@@  / |  | |
over dried stick under  the force of                 \  @@@@   |__| / /
the Orcs blows.  Jarak, seeing  what                / \  @@   /    \ |
had happened, moved  in front of me,               |  |  /\  |     | |
the fool, he never had a chance.  Oh               |  | |  | |     |/
Jarak, I am so sorry...."                          |  | |  | |     |
                                   -=29=-            (___)(___)
 ____________            When The Sun Shines: Blight
/ \ ___   ___\           ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
\@|  \~\ /~/ |                by Lloyd Llowd, PhD
  |   \ ~ /  |
 _|    |~|   |
/@|    |~|   |ou can tell that it is   to  strengthen  my belief that he is
\_/    ~~~   / a  hot  summer day in   completely illiterate.
  ~~~~~~~~~~~ Kelfour's Landing when
you see Lord Elvanion frying eggs on   The  "official"  Gladiatorial  Games
the stone benches in the Town Square   returns once again, the ultimate  in
to amuse the youngsters.  Hot summer   backstabbing and slaughter. At least
nights, on  the other  hand, seem to   Lord  Gallenod  vetoed  Kree's  idea
be destined a  never-ending plethora   that the  victors  should  skin  and
of the bizarre and dangerous.          search the losers in the arena. (The
                                       rabid ranger  just wants the loser's
Rumor  has it, the  torkaan skinning   heads hung on posts on the gate.)
contest,  usually the mass slaughter
and denuding of helpless sheep, will   Hobbits  are still  barred  from the
be made  more interesting  this year   art contest, as  crayon drawings and
by the introduction  of some  random   finger-painting are  not  considered
monsters into the pens.  One wonders   art forms.  A new twist in the water
if  this year's  winner will be  the   tunnel races:  those taking  a wrong
giant  beetle  that  skins  the most   turn  within the  tunnels  will find
adventurers.                           themselves deposited  in Claedesbrim
                                       Bay where a Kral raiding ship waits.
The Constable,  ever-eager  to shirk   (They are expecting a few rangers.)
his appointed duties,  was last seen
gleefully supervising the laying out   All in all I think I shall entertain
of a  fresh layer  of gravel  in the   myself with a  good book this month,
streets for the  preparation of  the   rather than participate  in the  low
dragging contest.  Wear  thick armor   brow entertainment that is available
for this one.                          to us. Of course there is a distinct
                                       shortage of good literature in  this
For those of you with insomnia there   town.  Lady Phaedra suggested I read
are the  Bardic  Arts  contests.  Of   some back  issues  of  the Kelfour's
particular  note will be  the annual   Edition to, as she put it "gain some
recital  of Lord Enegue, accompanied   appreciation for the history of your
by Kelfour's Canine Chorus. Included   new home."
in the performance will be J. Bock's
aria,  "Watchout,  Arf!,"  subtitled   I reminded  her this would not be my
"Let Sleeping Dogs Lie."               home  if she would only  release  my
                                       family and  grant  safe passage over
Lock up your small pets and domestic   the mountains.
animals  for this;  the Bland Bard's
voice  has been  known to  inspire a   Until then I remain your disobedient
mating frenzy  in just  about  every   and unwilling serpent.
species  except  humans  and  elves.                         * * *
(For some odd reason, his  voice  is                        ***-*-*
the  most  effective  form of  birth      "Baaaaaaa?"     _//* . . *\
control known to humanoids.)                                *|   | *
                                                 *********** \  \//
There should be ample opportunity to          ****************  - *
sleep  during  the  story  contests,        ************************
though. Lord Gallenod has once again      **/_****** *** ***********
been threatening  to tell stories in          ****** *** ***** *** *
public, as well as print. Despite my          *****  ***  ***  ** *
strongest pleas, the  Constable does           ) / / (    \ | | /
not consider this a threat to public          ( \   \|     |) ||     KEV4N3
sanity and safety, which only serves           ||   ||     || ||      [end]
                                   -=30=-       ##   ##     ## ##

See Also: