What Light From Yonder Pickle Breaks

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This is a creative work set in the world of Elanthia, attributed to its original author(s). It does not necessarily represent the official lore of GemStone IV.

Title: No Love From Yonder Pickle Breaks

Author: Mellny, as told at PickleFest 5117

Mellny cheekily announces, "Dis be a mostly daft tale 'bout a pair of young Truefolk."

Mellny grandiosely continues, "I calls it... "No Love From Yonder Pickle Breaks!"

Mellny removes a giant Moomph dill pickle from in her pale ruby pelisse.

Mellny strikes a heroic pose.

Mellny recites soberly:

"Two houses, both sames, not much dignities...
In River's Rest, where we does lay dis scene.
From forth da fatal loins of dese two foes
A pair of sea-cross'd lov...."

Mellny smiles widely then snickers as she breaks off suddenly -- midsentence, midword.

Speaking impishly to herself, Mellny repeats, "Loins..."

Mellny giggles to herself.

Mellny decisively declares, "I tells dis one MY way insteads."

With a flourish, Mellny tosses her pale ruby pelisse over her shoulder, tilting her chin upward with a flash of pert defiance.

Mellny recites cheerfully:

"His folk, dey make pickles, bit snooty, y'know?
Da brine wrinkles dere noses, curls hair on dere toes.
An' her fam'ly ships berries, from far to da Rest.
Berries brew darn fine ale -- get some heres at dis Fest!"

Mellny furtively glances at a flagon of winterberry ale on a large buffet.

Mellny recites baffledly:

"So she berries, he pickles. Dat really so bad?
When dey looked to each other? Dere folks sure got mad.
She woulds lament alone, "He me fate, it be clears!"
Scratched he oodles of verse 'bout banned lovers an' tears."

Mellny glances between a plump blue-black winterberry and a giant Moomph dill pickle.

Mellny looks thoughtful for a moment, then shrugs.

Mellny recites confidingly:

"One pink dawn at da Warren, met hush on da dock,
First broke fast wit' sweet Dill spears an' puffs Berry-pocked,
Hand in hand, side by side, den did launch in da air --
Berry girl, pickle boy -- angst-filled drama wit' flair!"

Mellny recites dramatically:

"Dere sense, smarts, an' logic drowned out by love's throes,
Aye, straight into da cold Tempest River dey dove!
Swirling current did grab 'em, did toss 'em about --
Up an' down, gurgle gaspin', dere lives be in doubt!"

Mellny recites mischievously:

"Losin' socks, frocks, an' clothin', da sad sodden pair
Did fetch up on da dock near da Eye -- fully bare!
Sure, cold shivers, some retchin', a touch of green spew...
But young love must prevail, 'cause... conveniently nude?"

Mellny nods knowingly.

Mellny gleefully exclaims, "But, NO!"

Mellny leans forward.

Mellny recites theatrically:

"All, um... berries... were shriveled! Last pickle were limp!
An' unfortunately, she glanced downwards... an' GRINNED!
So abruptly did end truce of Berry an' Dill --
Flaming love now extinguished in watery chill."

Mellny recites cheerfully:

"Da lessons ta learn from dis daft-headed tripe?
One, dat diving from docks ain't fer loverly types.
Two, dat plumpest be berries sun-warmed on da vine.
Three, don't want yer loins pickled? Don't dives in cold brine!"

Speaking impishly to herself, Mellny repeats, "Pickled loins..."

Mellny giggles to herself.

Pulling up the edges of her pale ruby pelisse, Mellny bobs a sassy little half-curtsy.