Last chance inn (log)

This log is a humorous out-of-character log of real events which occurred after the name database was purged. Many people rolled up characters with ludicrous names and were sent to the Last Chance Inn to rename themselves. This log was copied from a forums post on 10/13/2002 by SWORDCHIC, which was itself a re-post of a post. "Ghost Girl posted this a while back and I finally had the sense to copy it. I love this one! enjoy ~ SC"

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This is what goes on in the Last Chance Inn and it was dated August 12, 1998. The following is all true, with nothing added and parts deleted for clarity.

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Your name is considered too modern for a medieval fantasy setting. Please avoid references to modern technology, celebrities, science fiction, recent history, or slang.

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Snackpack Puddingcup, you have been moved to another room so that you can pick an appropriate name for your character. Your silver, experience, fame, deeds, and any equipment have all been saved, and will be returned to to you when you haved a new name. Please type CHECK IN and select the RETIRE FAMILY option. Please note that you have 1 week to reroll. After that time your items, exp, deeds and silver will be lost.

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You are healed.
[The Last Chance Inn, Front Desk]

Also in the room: Lol, Spring, Goat, Bowtothe, Iknowoj, Bite, Lady Vaalkyrie, Satanie, Shaandril

Iknowoj asks, "lol?"

Popeye just wandered down the stairs but has not properly renamed his character.

Goat exclaims, "Aw..popeye!"
Prissy just arrived.

Bite asks, "What's wrong with Lol?"

A shaft of scintillating light suddenly pierces the ceiling and strikes the ground next to you. The beam of light then explodes in a shower of sparks and Aelsidhe is standing in its place.

Aelsidhe coughs.

Popeye moves to the wooden desk to get his key from the proprietor. With a yawn, Popeye wanders off to his room.

Lol laughs!

Aelsidhe says, "OK the lot of you."

Prissy moves to the wooden desk to get his key from the proprietor. With a yawn, Prissy wanders off to his room.

Bite says, "I got Sun Shine"

Popeye just wandered down the stairs but has not properly renamed his character.

With a slightly embarrassed look, Wench suddenly appears.

Aelsidhe smiles.

Gldenmoose just arrived.

Vaalkyrie says, "Bite ME...go"

Bowtothe says, "and names like"

Bowtothe says, "dill dough"

Popeye moves to the wooden desk to get his key from the proprietor. With a yawn, Popeye wanders off to his room.

Bowtothe says, "that guy was a rebel"
With a slightly embarrassed look, Smooth suddenly appears.

Smooth says, "heh"

Bowtothe moves to the wooden desk to get his key from the proprietor. With a yawn, Bowtothe wanders off to his room.

Smooth says, "Doh"

Aelsidhe says, "Change em."

Aelsidhe smiles.

Iknowoj says, "hmph"

Wench says, "alright..I just want a tiny explanation..I'm a serving wench..I'll change it but I'd like to know why"

Donjuan moves to the wooden desk to get her key from the proprietor. With a yawn, Donjuan wanders off to her room.

Smooth says, "Now what's wrong with Smooth Operator"

look wen
You see Wench D'Tavern the Elf Rogue.
She appears to be in her 30's, has very long sandy blond hair, blue eyes, and tanned skin.
She is in good shape.She is wearing nothing special.
Iknowoj says, "mine's just a true statement"

Wench says, "I find a fabulous role playing name"

Wench sighs.

look
Wench says, "and it's been taken from me"

look smooth
Smooth exclaims, "Wench!"

You see Smooth Operator' the Human Warrior.
He appears to be in his 30's, has long, straight light brown hair, brown eyes, and lily white skin.
He is in good shape.
He is wearing nothing special.

Aelsidhe blinks.

Goat exclaims, "Wench!"
With a slightly embarrassed look, Duracell suddenly appears.

Vaalkyrie says, "Satan, it is viewed as Satan-ism...particularly with your last name."

Aelsidhe says, "If you wanted to play a wench, I'd believe it more if your name was 'Bambi'"
Wench says, "Bambi was taken, my daughter has it"
Smooth exclaims, "heh!"

Aelsidhe chuckles.

Aelsidhe laughs!

Bite says, "heh"

Iknowoj says, "that's a fine name"

l

Wench says, "ah but Wench..a wench arrives, bring drinks"
Aelsidhe says, "Hmm how bout Brandu"

Vaalkyrie says, "or Debby"

Aelsidhe exclaims, "brandi!"

[The Last Chance Inn, Front Desk]

Also in the room: Wicked, Duracell, Flash, Smooth, Wench, GameMaster Lady Aelsidhe, Lol, Spring, Goat, Iknowoj, Bite, Lady Vaalkyrie, Satanie, Shaandril
Obvious exits: none.

Duracell moves to the wooden desk to get his key from the proprietor. With a yawn, Duracell wanders off to his room.
Vaalkyrie whistles tunelessly to herself.

Aelsidhe giggles.

Iknowoj asks, "duracell?"

look flash
You see Flash N'DaShadows the Half-Elf Rogue.
She appears to be in her 30's, has long, braided black hair, dark eyes, and dark skin.
She is in good shape.
She is wearing nothing special.

Aelsidhe grins.

With a slightly embarrassed look, Yum suddenly appears.
look wic

look spring
You see Wicked Sinful the Human Warrior.
He appears to be in his 20's, has long, straight light brown hair, brown eyes, and lily white skin.
He is in good shape.
He is wearing nothing special.

Wench says, "tis not as if I'm going to train mahself much, just have some fun with the role playing aspect in helgas"
look bite

You see Spring Showers the Human Warrior.
She appears to be in her 20's, has long, straight light brown hair, brown eyes, and lily white skin.
She is in good shape.
She is wearing nothing special.

You see Bite Me' the Human Warrior.
She appears to be in her 30's, has long, straight light brown hair, brown eyes, and lily white skin.
She is in good shape.
She is wearing nothing special.

Wench sighs.

Iknowoj says, "wench, yer name's gotta go"

Bite says, "Yum Dumpling..."

With a slightly embarrassed look, Thief suddenly appears.

Flash moves to the wooden desk to get her key from the proprietor. With a yawn, Flash wanders off to her room.
Wench says, "If mah name offends ye then I surely will retrain"
look wen

Iknowoj says, "it offends me"

You see Wench D'Tavern the Elf Rogue.
She appears to be in her 30's, has very long sandy blond hair, blue eyes, and tanned skin.
She is in good shape.
She is wearing nothing special.

Thief says, "My name ain't bad"

Thief sighs.
look thief

Vaalkyrie just gave Aelsidhe a smooch.

You see Thief O'pockets the Giantman Rogue.
He appears to be in his 20's, has very long dark brown hair, blue eyes, and pale skin.
He is in good shape.
He is wearing nothing special.

Vaalkyrie says, "it's like Wench, Theif...it's not a name, it's a job classification"
Thief says, "Ya can't know my real name"
Yum asks, "Can someone tell me what is wrong with Yum please?"

Bite asks, "Is Bite okay if I have another last name?"

Aelsidhe says, "Snackpack.. you gotta go tho."
Thief says, "Or ye'd catch me"

look ikno
Iknowoj says, "i know someone you can go after "

Wench exclaims, "But people call mah mommy a wench all the time!"

Iknowoj says, "ohr"

Aelsidhe grins.

You see Iknowoj Did-It the Human Warrior.
He appears to be in his 30's, has long, straight light brown hair, brown eyes, and lily white skin.
He is in good shape.
He is wearing nothing special.

'Smooth is a nice name...
You say, "Smooth is a nice name..."

'It kinda rolls off my tongue.
You say, "It kinda rolls off my tongue."

l
Smooth says, "heh, I thought so too"

[The Last Chance Inn, Front Desk]

Also in the room: Allonrick who is seated, Thief, Yum, Wicked, Smooth, Wench, GameMaster Lady Aelsidhe, Lol, Spring, Iknowoj, Bite, Lady Vaalkyrie, Satanie, Shaandril
Obvious exits: none.

With a slightly embarrassed look, Boundforthe suddenly appears.

With a slightly embarrassed look, Somebodyplease suddenly appears.

Wench says, "hrm"

look smo
Somebodyplease says, "somebodyplease helpme"
You see Smooth Operator' the Human Warrior.
He appears to be in his 30's, has long, straight light brown hair, brown eyes, and lily white skin.
He is in good shape.
He is wearing nothing special.

With a slightly embarrassed look, Jesus suddenly appears.

Iknowoj asks, "boundforthe lastchanceinn?"

Iknowoj says, "hahaha"

Wench says, "now there's a good one"

Boundforthe says, "hee hee"

Jesus grows indistinct. Slowly it dawns on you that he isn't there anymore.

Iknowoj says, "jesus? "

Somebodyplease says, "aelsidhe...whenever I make new characters"

Somebodyplease says, "it doesn't save them"

Somebodyplease says, "that's why I need youtopleasehelpme"

look bite
You see Bite Me' the Human Warrior.
She appears to be in her 30's, has long, straight light brown hair, brown eyes, and lily white skin.
She is in good shape.
She is wearing nothing special.

look somebo
You see Somebodyplease Helpme the Half-Elf Wizard.
He appears to be in his 20's, has very long dark brown hair, blue eyes, and fair skin.
He is in good shape.
He is wearing nothing special.

With a slightly embarrassed look, Jesus suddenly appears.

look jesu

You see Jesus Christ the Human Cleric.
He appears to be in his 20's, has long, straight light brown hair, brown eyes, and lily white skin.
He is in good shape.
He is wearing nothing special.
With a slightly embarrassed look, Phallic suddenly appears.

Phallic asks, "why am I here?"

look yum
You see Yum Dumpling the Halfling Rogue.
She appears to be in her 20's, has shoulder length, wavy light brown hair, hazel eyes, and tanned skin.
She is in good shape.
She is wearing nothing special.

Phallic asks, "whats wrong with my name?"

Aelsidhe pokes Iknowoj in the ribs.

look phal
You see Phallic Symbol the Human Rogue.
He appears to be in his 30's, has long, straight light brown hair, brown eyes, and fair skin.
He is in good shape.
He is wearing nothing special.

Vaalkyrie says, "Phallic, if you have to ask..."

Aelsidhe stares at Phallic.

Iknowoj says, "not only do i know Oj"

Iknowoj exclaims, "i know he did it!"

Iknowoj says, "damn lawyers"

Somebodyplease says, "we should make names of people from AD&D books, like I could be - David "Zeb" cook"

Aelsidhe says, "it's bad. Go change it, or we will call your mom."

Aelsidhe nods to Phallic.

Boundforthe asks, "whats phallic?"

Iknowoj says, "hehe"

Aelsidhe says, "If you dont want us to call your mom...."
Aelsidhe says, "Best change it."

With a slightly embarrassed look, Elvis suddenly appears.

Smooth says, "I hope Spy gets away"

Iknowoj exclaims, "he lives!"

look elvis
You see Elvis P'resley the Half-Elf Bard.
He appears to be in his 20's, has short, straight black hair, dark eyes, and tanned skin.
He is in good shape.
He is wearing nothing special.

Lol points at Elvis.

Lol exclaims, "!!"

With a slightly embarrassed look, Eazy suddenly appears.

look bound
You see Boundforthe Lastchanceinn' the Human Warrior.
He appears to be in his 20's, has long, straight light brown hair, brown eyes, and lily white skin.
He is in good shape.
He is wearing nothing special.

Smooth says, "aww Eazy"

With a slightly embarrassed look, Dracula suddenly appears.

look eazy
Iknowoj says, "elvis lives"
With a slightly embarrassed look, Superman suddenly appears.

You see Eazy Doze'it the Giantman Warrior.
He appears to be in his 20's, has shoulder length, wavy black hair, green eyes, and tanned skin.
He is in good shape.
He is wearing nothing special.

Iknowoj says, "well he did"

Superman asks, "what?"

Superman grows indistinct. Slowly it dawns on you that he isn't there anymore.

Bite says, "aww"

Satandood says, "hey"

Satandood says, "I wanted Superman"

With a slightly embarrassed look, Canyoufind suddenly appears.

With a slightly embarrassed look, Spira suddenly appears.

look can

You see Canyoufind Waldo the Giantman Rogue.
He appears to be in his 20's, has shoulder length, wavy dark brown hair, green eyes, and tanned skin.
He is in good shape.
He is wearing nothing special.

Iknowoj says, "no i don't know oj"

Iknowoj says, "i know oj DID IT"

Canyoufind asks, "whats wrong with me name?"

With a slightly embarrassed look, Monkey suddenly appears.

look monk
You see Monkey Business the Sylvankind Cleric.
She appears to be in her 20's, has very long light brown hair, green eyes, and tanned skin.
She is in good shape.
She is wearing nothing special.

With a slightly embarrassed look, Dracula suddenly appears.

Monkey says, "hmph"
Smooth says, "Whew"

Dracula says, "that was quick"

Monkey moves to the wooden desk to get her key from the proprietor. With a yawn, Monkey wanders off to her room.