Cling to Your Lonesome Folly (short story)

Yukito stood near the edge of the jetty, his gaze trained on the looming rock formations in the distance that made up the formidable natural barrier protecting the harbor. Sprays of mist billowed around his body and obscured the rocks on the ground, barely being battled back by the light of the flickering fire nearby. It was a blissfully peaceful place to think and reflect; a spot on the island where the sounds of the ocean could soak into one's body and carry away a person's troubles along with the tides.

His attention sharpened and he deliberately let the tip of one slightly-pointed ear twitch. He had invited the children here to speak with him, and from the light step, this was likely Medijine - Yardie's Spinnerette. Yukito remained still as she assessed him and moved around on the water-slick stones. Not long after, a heavier step fell, perhaps the one named Jorry. As soon as Yukito heard the sound of the rock pile being shifted and stones being deliberately stacked, Yukito turned around and walked toward the warmth of the flames.

The little spider had her arms folded, and a distant expression on her face. Likewise, Jorry was almost exclusively focused on his task, the movements of his large hands deliberate and slow. A girl with twin braids down to her waist seated herself beside the larger boy, and began selecting rocks of her own, fitting them into the curve of her leather sling before either discarding them or placing them in a small pouch at her side.

As more of the children gathered and settled in, Yukito noticed that Mahui was not present, and made a mental note to ask Jaysehn, Alosaka, or Yardie about her. For the time being, he focused his gaze on each young face in turn. He had been a touch uncomfortable about teaching them anything. For all that he wanted to open his own school someday, or help others reach their educational goals, that did not truly include children. If he was honest with himself, Yukito hadn't the slightest clue of how to teach a child.

It is good that you all are here.

He had decided to simply speak with them in their minds for the lesson. Fortunately, they were old enough to be able to use the method of communication at all. Very much younger, and their minds might not have been developed enough. As it was, almost everyone turned to look up at him.

I'm going to talk to you tonight about healing.

Immediately, Evans scowled and Abdeliana spoke up. "Alosaka has been teaching us a lot about healing!" This brought a genuine smile to Yukito's lips, and he nodded.

Alosaka is very knowledgeable, as are most of my colleagues. They work tirelessly to keep everyone safe and healthy in times of conflict, and in times of peace. The responsibility that an empath chooses to take on when they serve the community is important. In that regard--

Yukito leveled a firm gaze on everyone present until they looked up at him, waiting until he had their attention.

It is equally important that everyone does their part and learns how to take care of and protect themselves. Alosaka is teaching every one of you how to be self sufficient when it comes to your health.

He briskly stepped toward the fire, and then tilted his head up toward the afternoon sky. His blue eyes began to glow softly. A couple of the children tensed, Medijine and Evans looking ready to draw a weapon. Even Jorry paused in his rock stacking to regard Yukito with wariness.

What I am going to discuss with you is more internal when it comes to healing. It is about inner strength. What I am going to say to you now, you may not fully understand, and that is completely alright. Maybe someday in the future, you will remember my words.

Evans snorted, "What good are empty words when they can't help us now?" The older boy shook his head in disgust and picked up his own stone, hurling it into the sea. Yukito watched Evans for a moment, then shrugged.

I will openly and fully admit that if the words don't help you now, then in this moment, they will do nothing for you. They will stick with you, however, until you need them. Or perhaps, someday, you will look back on what I say and believe that what I have to share is nonsense. The POINT is the sharing, the teaching, and the knowledge being passed.

Folding his arms, Yukito swept his glowing blue gaze over the tiny crowd.

Stubbornness is different than strength. They appear similar in the face of adversity, but someone stubborn that has not been tested may break under pressure. Strength is built by many tests and trials. It may crack, but it will not break, and when it heals, it is stronger for it. What you are being taught now, by everyone that has gathered to your side, they are lessons from people that will give you strength not to break.

Internally, Yukito had to pause. Was he saying too much for a group of children? Was he even making sense? The indecision caused the azure light in his eyes to falter.

Medijine spoke for the first time, "Wot'r yer eyes glowin' fer?" Her gaze wasn't exactly hostile, but she hadn't relaxed the entire time that they'd been out there. Maintaining a façade of calm, Yukito nodded toward her.

My eyes are glowing right now because of why we are here, and because of who and what I am. I am empathic. Turning away slightly, Yukito folded his hands behind his back and began to pace. He knew that he was talking around the point, but it seemed easier than explaining what an Empathic Link was.

It is hard to describe pain and loss in a comforting way. Where would a person go to seek comfort? At his soft mental words, Yukito could almost feel some of the children drawing away. He further gentled his tone, even as he tightened his mental grip.

Sorrow is normal. It is acceptable to feel confused or lost because things happen that we do not like, or understand.

Emotion began to trickle, and then flow through the link that Yukito had established. He breathed as slowly and evenly as possible, letting it all wash over him, and attempting to be a ground for it. Tupaia leaned against Orithiya, both girls dry-eyed as they listened to his words. Medijine seemed to turn to stone where she stood, her expression hard. Evans began sinking stones into the water one by one, his face averted, looking slightly furious.

We survive. We learn. We protect what is ours - Our lives, the people we care about, our homes. We do this, in part, because we ARE too stubborn to give up. But we also do this because we take the lessons offered to us from those that have come before. We grow strong, and we continue on.

The words were intended to help draw forth certain emotions, but Yukito knew that he was being... clumsy. It was partly his hesitation in his audience, and lack of familiarity of the technique to begin with. Abdeliana looked as if she was fighting back tears, and that alone made him believe that he should pull it all back and stop. Even the people that were not visibly emoting were giving him almost chaotic feedback - if he didn't want to hurt anyone, this needed to end. Normally, hurting someone wasn't a concern, but...

There was also a strange gap in the link. Right... THERE. Jorry was gently pushing back.

Interesting.

So this is what a budding empath's domain and energy felt like. Yukito could enforce his own will, if he wanted to, but that would be a terrible violation. The idea of it felt wrong. This young one was establishing his own identity, so to speak. The fact that he was doing so regarding this particular topic made Yukito rethink his entire approach. Jorry could tell him no - the rest around the fire could not.

This was a mistake.

Immediately, Yukito's eyes stopped glowing and he heaved a deep and heavy sigh, sitting down. There was nothing but the sound of the waves splashing the rocks for a long while. The moment seemed raw and ragged as everyone took a moment to try to figure out what in the world had just happened.

Evans snapped out of it first. The look he swept Yukito with was positively full of venom, and Yukito couldn't think of a single thing to say before the other young male stomped off toward the town. Abdeliana's voice was sad and soft beneath the sound of the roaring waves, "We just.. survive?"

For a moment, Yukito couldn't begin to answer. Then he pulled himself together and gave himself a rough mental shake. You live. WE live. We learn.

The thought drifted up in his mind, "Even from our own mistakes." Even though the words were in his mind to speak to the younger people around him, Yukito didn't know if this was the correct time to share them. He had never been so... confronted by how callous he could sometimes be. With an enemy, that was a fight for one's life - did it matter what he did? This wasn't a fight, however. This was a struggle, true, but he didn't have a right to take what had not been offered up for him to fix. Jorry's energy had shaken him most; if he was correct about how how his own emanation worked... did the Arkati handle people like him so carefully and gently, knowing that they COULD overwhelm his tiny amount of will, but allowing him his freedom?

Abruptly he blurted: I apologize.

Several pairs of eyes turned his way and he clenched his jaw so that he could meet them all evenly.

It may not be a comfort to know this, but sometimes.. the person in front of you that you look to for answers will not have them. It does not mean that you should not pay heed to people that may have more experience... but it does mean that mistakes can be made.

Arkati above, Jaysehn was going to kill him. Maybe Yardie too. He'd screwed up.

Just now, I attempted to offer healing assistance and I did not ask proper permission. That was not correct of me. I will not do this again, save in defense of your lives.

There was a lack of comprehension in some, but this time, Medijine turned and walked away without saying a word. Orithiya clearly said, "Why did you do this thing?"

To ease your pain, and assist your healing. Not in a physical way, but emotionally.

The girl's tone was firm and to the point, "This is not something that I offer you for the taking." At once, Yukito replied, his own tone stiff and formal, to try to hide own mortification, I understand.

Orithiya gently tugged at Tupaia's shirt, and both girls disappeared into the oncoming evening as they walked along the jetty.

Abdelina paused for a long while, then approached Yukito where he stood with his chin level to the ground. "You can do that? Ease pain?"

Swallowing hard, Yukito had to bite his lip hard before dipping his chin. I would attempt to accept your pain as we speak together. Over time, we would work to soothe it and make it less. It is more my.. talent to force these things, because my place has been on the field of battle. As I have learned to not simply snatch away physical pain from those that may wish to hold onto it, I can learn to not steal away emotional pain.

After a moment, the young woman hugged herself and murmured, "Okay. But just... not tonight." Then she too became a figure in the dark sea mist.

Jorry had been silently staring at the piles of stone, letting them tumble and bounce over the ground from his cupped hand. Yukito couldn't bring himself to say anything for a long moment. Then, he stood up and walked toward the fire, staring down at the young giant male.

Before he could say a thing, Jorry looked up at him, brown eyes determined.

"Teach me."

"A Stray Child" - .hack//Sign