Lint bag
Lockable by TURNing it while closed.
Hold it in your hand and WAVE it and it will auto-hide you in any room, even rooms that can't normally be hidden in, with a really nifty first and third person script.
Will eat any item(s) inside the bag if RUBbed while locked. For every 20 or so items it eats, it produces a piece of randomly described lint (a piece of smelly gold lint, a piece of soft grey lint, etc.) that when LOOKed at, would tell you random stuff that it looks like, such as "It looks like an albatross, or perhaps a doorknob." If you wanted to mass produce lint, just have it keep eating stuff until there were 20 pieces of lint inside, then every time you rub it it'll produce a new piece of lint, since the lint is the only item that won't get eaten by the bag,
When you POKE the lint, the random shapes that it "looks like" would change.