Beacon Hall Archive: Goat Fest 5122: Goat Fashion Show

Wonkus' Battle Goat

(Wonkus sashays with purpose over to a shaggy goat. He fastens several bits of tin and steel scrap around the goat with twine.)

(Wonkus adopts a look of panic as his goat begins to eat one of the tin plates fastened to it. He quietly scolds the goat while moving the offending plate out of biting range.)

(Wonkus places a copper pot atop the head of the goat. He spends a moment balancing the pot atop the horns so it won't fall, and then sashays gracefully down the courtyard, goat in tow.)

Wonkus exclaims, "I present for your consideration, the magical, armored battle goat!"

(Wonkus ponders his goat for a moment, seemingly in deep consideration.)

(Wonkus hastily rifles through his cape, procuring a small stick after a moment. He precariously places the stick atop the goat's back, which promptly falls to the ground.)

(Wonkus grumbles, picking the stick up off the ground. He proffers the stick to his goat. The goat takes Wonkus's stick in its mouth and gnaws happily.)

Wonkus exclaims, "Runestaff included! Magic!"

(Wonkus takes a moment and strikes a heroic pose! After a few seconds, he looks down at his goat, which is still eating the stick. With an exasperated sigh, he states "Look heroic!")

(Wonkus wrinkles his nose as his goat ignores the order. He once again strikes his own heroic pose and exclaims, "Ta Da!!!")