Black Thorn Resistance/Free North News Issue 6

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This is a creative work set in the world of Elanthia, attributed to its original author(s). It does not necessarily represent the official lore of GemStone IV.

Title: The Free North News Issue #6

Author: Various

OOC Disclaimer: The following is about Empire, revolution, settler colonialism, and it’s many consequences. The opinions stated here are to be taken in character and should not be taken as out of character judgements. It is intended as in character rhetoric. Except that we should have a rolton cryptid. Oh and do not insert into any orifices. Or do, I’m just not legally responsible for it.

IC Disclaimer: The Black Thorns are more of a collective, and less of a organization with hierarchy and a roster. Please do not take the perspective of one member to apply to all of us.

Created in Midjourney Edited by player of Ceilia & Dendum uploaded by player of Dendum
The Hatman Cometh, generated by MidJourney, prompt by Faerinn's Player

In the quaint town of Icemule Trace, nestled amidst the snowy peaks, a group of Krovlin child refugees found solace and camaraderie in their shared experiences. Their small enclave became a safe haven where they clung to their heritage, holding on to a tattered copy of the Free North News, a treasured relic from their homeland. It was a symbol of hope, a reminder that they were not alone in their struggles.

One frosty evening, as the wind howled through the narrow streets, the children gathered around a flickering hearth, their faces illuminated by the soft glow of a lantern. Wrapped in heavy furs, they huddled close, passing around the precious newspaper, their eyes wide with curiosity and fear.

"Have you heard the tale of the ManRolt?" whispered Sasha, her voice barely audible above the crackling fire. "It is said to roam these mountains, half man and half ram, with sharp horns and eyes that pierce the darkness. They say it preys on those who dare venture alone into the woods."

A shiver ran through the children as they exchanged nervous glances. But the allure of the unknown was too strong to resist, and they urged Sasha to continue.

"And then there's the Hatman," chimed in Zander, pulling his blanket closer. "He wears a vast, wide-brimmed hat that casts a shadow over his entire face. Dressed all in black, he roams the streets of Icemule Trace at night, looking for children to snatch away and take to his navy of lost children."

The children gasped, their young minds conjuring terrifying images of the Hatman lurking in the shadows, a figure of pure malevolence.

"But fear not, for we are united," declared Mila, the eldest among them, her voice filled with determination. "Together, we are stronger than any cryptid or dark tale. Let the ManRolt and the Hatman tremble in the face of our resilience and unity!"

Encouraged by Mila's words, the children clung to one another, finding strength in their bond. They knew the world beyond Ice Mule Trace could be harsh and unforgiving, but here, in the heart of their newfound community, they had each other's backs.

As the night wore on, the stories grew more daring, and laughter replaced fear. They retold legends of their homeland, weaving threads of their past into the tapestry of their present. The Free North News became a shared emblem of their hope, a testament to their resilience, and a promise of a better future.

The Faerinn Well: The Otter and the Sun

generated by MidJourney, prompt by Faerinn's Player

This month I am stealing a page from the former probationary page now squire (congrats), and submitting an allegorical about an otter and the Sun:

In a serene and verdant mining town, there resided a clever and resourceful otter named Ollie. Ollie had built a cozy and sturdy den nestled between the reeds, where he lived with his friends and family. Life was harmonious, save for one undeniable challenge— the relentless and blazing Sun.

Ollie’s fur was his pride, but the Sun’s scorching rays made it nearly unbearable. Paws burning on the hot sand and fur becoming matted, Ollie realized he had to take a difficult decision. He decided to move away from his beloved home, leaving behind the lush land he loved dearly. The Sun’s oppressive heat had forced him to abandon the place where generations of otters had lived before him.

As Ollie resettled in a more hospitable region, he thought he had escaped the Sun’s wrath. However, the Sun, curious and perhaps a tad lonely, couldn’t resist visiting Ollie’s new home. With every visit, disaster followed. The Sun’s rays intensified, melting Ollie’s bayside haven, scorching the land, and causing his friends and family great suffering. The Sun’s purpose was a perplexing and destructive one—it harnessed the suffering of otters to power a menacing super weapon.

Heartbroken and tormented by the sight of his loved ones in pain, Ollie resolved to confront the Sun. “Why do you persist in causing such misery?” he implored. The Sun, shining brightly but heedless of the damage it wreaked, responded nonchalantly, “It’s in my nature. Yet, this time, I assure you, I am kinder than before.”

Skeptical but hoping for change, Ollie let his guard down, inviting the Sun to approach once more. But time and time again, the Sun’s visits brought calamity. Ollie’s friends lost their homes, and his family suffered unbearable hardship. The Sun’s promises of benevolence proved empty, and Ollie’s trust eroded like the sand beneath his paws.

Frustrated by the relentless cycle of destruction, Ollie dared to voice his feelings of helplessness. “Your nature may be unchangeable, but must it always come at the cost of innocent lives?” he asked. The Sun, offended by Ollie’s audacity, couldn’t fathom why the otter questioned its actions. “But it’s in my nature, and this time I have become nicer than eight years ago,” the Sun repeated.

Even as the Sun, shoveled handful upon handful of screaming, burning otters into its ever growing maw, it lamented between bites, “Why don’t you appreciate how much I’ve changed for you?”

Ollie was speechless and distracted by his own amazement that no morsel fell from the Sun’s mouth as they lectured. The Sun had row upon row of pointed, golden teeth that no scrap could escape from.

“Why won’t you forget the things I did before?” the Sun lamented.

From under the cool shade of an ivory tower, a bed of lilies added, “I bet even if you brought him a pile of gold coins, Ollie would complain about them weighing too much.”

The Sun beamed at the entourage. Literally, they grew brighter. Shimmering waves of heat rose from the bleak and barren lands. The air filled a cacophony of otters screaming in agony followed by a sizzle and blended fragrance of burning fur and cooked meat.

News for the North

News for the North

  • The Aelotoi Celebrate: there continues to be no cure found for their Kiramon induced condition but rumors abound of a new faction as the Aelotian people gather in celebration and remembrance.
  • Ta'illistim In Turmoil: Odd rumors flow across the mountain of missing people and closed shops. Travel with caution going east.
  • Ta'valor Trembles: Bandits and Pirates have been troubling the Crimson Legion. Travel with caution going even further east.
  • Krolvin in Chaos: What is going on in the western waters? Krolvin sightings increase and there are reports the northern section of the island was seen in ruins. Icemule led a brave rescue effort to save what they could.
  • Envoys Elected: The Landing has elected new envoys. The Empire is bewildered how anyone can get a position without nepotism or graft.
  • Pirates Pierced: Infamous Ship Captain Bodohal is said to have fallen into some vines and died....shame. He left behind a bunch of terrible plans and questions for Torre.
  • Icemule Selects the Elects: Dabbings remains as head of Icemule! A new council supports him with some familiar faces!
  • Empire's New Weapon- Rumors criss cross the west the empire is building some new super weapon, no one who remembers Talador is suprised.

Letters to the FNN

To the Editor 
Since the very day we declared our intentions to shake free of the Turamzzyrian yoke, there have been those who seek to oppose us.
We have been criticized and ridiculed for our beliefs. We have been falsely labeled as terrorists and cowards. Banned from establishments and exiled from events. Lies have been spread that we stalk citizens in the night, posing a threat to the safety of a people we have never wished ill on.
Yet we have endured. The dream of a people deciding their own path free from the grasping claws of a nation steeped in a history of violence and hate still lives. We will not simply give up and fade away as some have so vocally wished in our presence.
Corrupt merchants, bought politicians, and any others so desperate to taste the leather of Imperial boots that they would throw aside all sense can be forewarned. We hear your words and we do not forget them. Now hear ours.
Freedom in the North. Anonymous Thorn

- This sounds like Wisdom -D

To the Editor,
Hello Sir or Lady and blessings of the Arkati upon you. I want to thank you for this publication and all the news it brings to us normal folk.
Many of us normal folk here in Icemule are quite scared about our future. Not only do we have a volcano and krolvin to deal with, but worse of all we have to deal with a known traitor, Opalina, somehow making it back on the town council! And Talliver was voted back in too even after letting her off the hook!
How will we, or our new nation, ever flourish if we keep allowing these corrupt politicians to run our lives? Something must be done before it's too late!
A Concerned Icemulian

- Elections matter...perhaps should win an election? -D

Kragsfell - A Tale of Empire

Interview by Aubron The following interview took place in Koaratos in 5123 more than half a year into the empire’s aggressive expansion and Earl Jovery’s decree for the creation of a new barony in the north.

Battle of Kragsfell, created in midjourney, by player of Dendum uploaded with permission
Battle of Kragsfell Kindred on the Move, created in midjourney, by player of Dendum, uploaded with permission
Battle of Kragsfell Empire's Charge, created in midjourney, by player of Dendum, uploaded with permission

Aubron of Talador: Greetings, fellow travelers! Today, we delve into the fascinating history of the Battle of Kragsfell, a significant conflict that unfolded in the DragonSpine mountain range many years ago. Joining us is Dendum of the Wendwillows, a resident of the northern border regions.

Before we dive into the battle itself , could you provide some context for our audience? How did this conflict with the imperial army start?

Dendum : T'Kirem Bear Clan lived in Shartenal mountains for generations. The human empire, ever expanding, came and in ignorance pushed onto the lands of others, as they tend to do even to this day. At first the Kindred did not believe the empire would be so bold and moved carefully so as not to provoke the humans, however the empire attacked with full force.

Aubron of Talador: The Baloran tribe seemed to be initially surprised by the human presence. How did the conflict escalate, and how did they come to establish Kragsfell Fortress?

Dendum : Chieftain T'Syranak sought knowledge after that first unprovoked attack. After being attacked by the Sun Throne took time and collected much information. Fought for years, led humans deeper into the mountains to Kragsfell. This process took years, one does not drive an empire out overnight.

Aubron of Talador: Fascinating strategy! It seems Kragsfell became a pivotal point in the conflict. What led to the ultimate defeat of the imperial army?

Dendum: Yunnag-sihr, a leader given by the great spirits, attacked. Clever plan, surprise attack, drove humans out. You see the wisdom of this leader in using the scouts and knowing where and when to strike. The human empire often finds failure when confronted with more than shields and children to clash against.

Aubron of Talador: Victory, however, came at a great price. The war continued for almost a hundred years, and even though the T'Kirem couldn't fully defeat the imperial army, the humans couldn't conquer the giants either. How did the conflict eventually come to an end?

Dendum: War continued. Krulgon, new chief did not listen to scouts and drove them away with his arrogance he did not have the wisdom of his father or the patience of his ancestors, faced defeat. However even then the kindred blood proved true and wisdom finally arrived to young Krulgon. Used terrain to prevent loss. War ended in a draw.

Aubron: It's a bittersweet tale of struggle and resilience. With the conflict finally over, what became of the T'Kirem Bear Clan and the Kragsfell Fortress?

Dendum: Others tribes left Krulgon and Krulgon moved tribe home. Clash ended, peace found. The empire stopped expanding in that direction.

Aubron of Talador: Thank you, Dendum, for sharing this remarkable story of the Battle of Kragsfell and the T'Kirem Bear Clan's courage and determination. Why have you been studying such tales and do you think there are any lessons for the empire’s current invasion to the north?

Dendum: Yes, whether it is to the south or the east or now the north you can see the human empire is always looking to grab the lands of others, always expanding. But you can also see that with determination and will that they can be stopped and held back. The Faendryl stopped them the T’Kirem Bear Clan stopped them, the North can also stop them. A hundred years it may take but they can be stopped and will be stopped until the blood lust and land-greed-sickness leaves them and they learn to live in peace with their neighbors.

This new expansion is normal for an empire that has never respected the non-humans around it and, spirits willing, they will learn one day to tend to their own lands and let others live in peace.

We pray to the Great Spirits that one day we can study something less annoying than the empire of humans.

Interviewers Note: It should be noted that while the empire did not expand further into the mountains after this conflict they did manage to hold onto all the lands they had claimed prior to the conflict starting.

























Help Wanted/Classifieds

Ask Lithyia!

Ever wondered how to navigate a crowded ball room?
Need help chosing between two suitors?
Ask the questions you are afraid to ask and get expert advice!
Mail your questions to Lithyia! Confidentiality guaranteed!

Justice for Jade!

We do not forget the slayer of Arachne's priest. How many Mayors do you have to sleep with to get a trial around here?
Justice for the Half-Krolvin! The Paladin Hero of the North!

Yardie's Nails and Ales

Manicures done by the Blade of the Faendryl!
Multiple Colors to choose from, it's not just nails it's an experience!
Award winning Drinks Accompany the Experience!
See Yardie for Details!

Say no to Stephos

How many times is this town going to let that murderous traitor come back?
Knave, War Profiteer, Cutthroat
We didn't vote for that DeArchon.

Escort Needed

Erithi dignitary in need of escort to Zul
Please get me out of this town!
Seek out the Adventure Guild for more Details

Missing Mule!

Lost ma Mule in the Trollsfang
I thought traveling was rough before the empire showed up who the heck is in charge of the forest now?
Ask for Buck in Helga's if you find the mule or know what happened to it.

Join The Resistance!

Loyalty to the Town and Each other!
Do we surrender to an evil just because it is powerful?
Or do we have Honor enough to stand up for the downtrodden?
Join the Resistance! For Freedom! For the Free North!


A Northern Wind - by Dendum



We have lost the Dragonsclaw Forest to the human empire. We have lost most of the Trollsfang Forest to the human empire. We have lost temples and we have lost land routes to the grasping hands of the empire. We have lost swamps and we have lost mountains. We have however, in the shadow of their land-theft, found purpose and determination. We have found that we are not alone though we are often surrounded by darkness we cast a light for freedom that the empire can not extinguish easily. We have found brothers and sisters, who do not share blood but do share purpose and vision. We have found honor and inspiration from those willing to walk the difficult path. A path laid down by Talbot, Black Wolves, and Yunnag-sihr.

The free wind of the north blows and with it a fresh election has ended bringing both new and old voices. Dabbings remains a stout reminder that the north endures.

The houses of Solhaven may silently promote Jovery's theft of northern lands but the voices of Icemule's council condemn it.

Look now at Icemule, who allows a half-krolvin to run demonstrating a commitment to all, then compare it to any decaying and rotten line of noble leaders in the empire. Human blooded all, and you can easily see which path offers freedom and which continues its human first policy on domination on others. Look to the north to see a coalition of people fighting for freedom and self determination. Look to the south and see the next chapter of humanities suppression of Ordlyn, Hathlyn, and Sylvan blood......thanks to Aurmont all are free to serve but still it appears only human-blood is free to lead. Watch as they trot out the Malwind as a token of proof that they are not what they clearly are. Time and again they trot out their token Hathlyn, but where is the dwarf baron? Where is the elf baron? Where is the halfling or aelotian baron? They are not to be seen, for any who dared challenge the rights of the humans were cast aside in the never ending expansion of Turamzyrr which continues even now around the walls of Wehnimer's. The dwarf baron is dead in the mines of Talador, the halfling baron had his lands stripped hundreds of years ago and was driven north, the elf baron was driven into the Wyrdeep his lands stolen and his future destroyed by Tamzyrr.

There is no honor in the lands of Tamzyrr and there can not be as long as they actively steal what is not theirs and use their armies and their magistars to claim what they have no right to claim. Those who do not condemn such thievery promote it in silence. For truly all that evil needs to grow and prosper is the cowardly silence of others.

Let us listen well to the voices of the north. Let those who wish for freedom and peace hear these voices and rejoice. Let the empire hear free voices speak...and tremble.

~ Dendum
Archdruid of the North
The Wind in the Willow

Opalina

Opalina Jalcon
AI art generated by Opalina uploaded with her permission[1] Midjourney.com
Inclusion. Unity is a natural side effect. Inclusion being, going out of my way to include town folks in events and seek advice from the people. Working on being supportive of other council views and ideas and work our best to work toward a mutually satisfying end result and not be disruptive or making sole decisions. Let those who wish to wield authority over others prove their worth!

Roelon

Roelon
AI art generated by Roelon envisioned through the eyes of AI. Created using MidJourney by Roelon's user. Uploaded previously by author.
Famous for his steady hand and leadership abilities. Roelon is also known as a leader in the north, often leading people from point A to Point B. Attempts were made to contact the famous wearer of the famous kilt for a message but he was too busy with visions and saving the world. Also no one could really understand what he was saying anyway.

Jastalyn

Jastalyn created by artist Stormyrain uploaded previously with permission
A lot of people know me, but I still love to make new friends. I'm Jastalyn Dragorth; Chairwoman of Twilight Hall and Fenog's Regulars. I served on the very first town council, but we were called the Mayor's advirosry council at that time. When the next council was elected, we were then called the Icemule Trace Town Council. I love working with a team towards a common goal, learning individual strengths that each member can bring to the table. 

The reason I decided at the last moment to run for the Town Council is I felt I could bring integrity and transparency in a time when strife and doubt were all too common in our cozy town. In my leadership roles, the most useful skill I've learned is how to help bring out the best in others. Sometimes, all someone needs is an encouraging word or a helping hand in the right direction to discover their own hidden talents.
My platform for this campaign was transparency and unity. I ran on those premises because I believe that's what will help elevate Icemule as we forge our way towards creating a new nation and obtaining new allies while we discover within us all the strength and teamwork like we've never presented before. I believe transparency is important if we want to succeed in our endeavors. Being on the same page, working towards the same goal, and utilitzing the strengths of all involved will bring about the change and accomplishments so many before us have only dreamed about.

Aliashyrah


created in midjourney by Aliashyrah uploaded with permission
A year to an elf can often seem an almost inconsequential amount of time, but my year spent in Icemule has been one of great growth and revelation. It was within her frozen walls that I was led to my calling and met the people who would help shape my future. From curious observer to invested citizen, I have walked each day side by side with others who call Icemule home and it has brought me to this moment. 

I am honored that the people of Icemule have chosen me as one of their councillors. Standing with the others who make up the Council of Five, I know that we will do our best to help guide Icemule to the future that inevitably awaits her if we have the strength of will and heart to pursue that which we desire. A new Nation of the North is a lofty goal, but not out of reach for the passionate citizens of this rugged area. With strong leaders who listen to the will and voices of her people, there is nothing that is truly beyond our grasp.
Even before taking my place as the newest, and arguably least known, of the councillors, I have spent countless hours investing in Icemule's future. Whether through bringing new ideas to leadership or taking others who are searching much as I once was under my wing, I strive each and every day to fulfill the calling set before me. Now, Icemule has given me her trust and utmost honor to be one of five voices that will guide and advocate for her future. I do not take this position lightly and will pour all of my passion and energy into giving Icemule everything she deserves.
While the road ahead is not fully shaped, the goal is clear. With eyes always lifted up, let us join together to pursue our wild and untamed desires to build a new Nation grounded in unity. I look with breathless anticipation to the future with a firm understanding of the past, trusting that all will end up as it should be.

Sorlu Jae'kym Nalfein


created in midjourney by Aliashyrah uploaded with permission
Five years have passed since that unhappy day when the good People of Icemule, blinded by promises made by those at home and abroad, forgot the highest values of our past, of the North, of its honor and its freedom, and thereby lost everything. Filled with the deepest of distress, all of the best Northern men and women from all walks of life saw the unity of the Nation disintegrating in a welter of egotistical foreign political opinions and economic interests. The breakdown of the unity of heart and will of our Nation at home was followed by the collapse of its political position abroad.

Driven to act on the side of change, I began my first term as a representative of all Free People, with resolution and fidelity to my oath, seeing the powerlessness of the Nation to shoulder the task of Freedom we advocated. In moments of so great importance in contemporary history, individuals can play a significant part only if they enter the scene as truly outstanding personalities.
In this process, a formidable weapon used against us was that of lying, that is, of propaganda, to deceive not just the world beyond our walls but some within, with the ignoble belief that to resist is inappropriate. By these means they contrived to break the backbone of our Nation, to remove our resistance, to wear us down, and to make us prepared at last to submit to the Vaalorian yoke of monarchy.
We were called upon to take over the leadership of the Nation at a moment when it did not seem to develop towards a great rise. We were given power in circumstances of the greatest conceivable pressure, the pressure of the knowledge that, by itself, everything was lost, and that, in the eyes of the noblest minds, this represented a last attempt, while in the eyes of evil-wishers it should condemn the North to final failure. Unless Icemule could be saved, by a miracle, the situation was bound to end in disaster.
Yet together we were victorious, while our oppressor fled behind the Dragonspine, history forged in that monumental act of resolve that would be celebrated as The Great Humiliation.
As I enter now this second term, I see ahead of us an age of rebirth, starting with the family, and including all notions of honor and loyalty, culture and economy, Nation and motherland, whether adopted or by origin, even the eternal foundations of our morals and our faiths. But if we are to experience a political and economic revival and conscientiously fulfill our duties, decisive action is required.
The Council of Five will therefore regard it as its first and supreme task to restore to the Northern People unity of heart and will. It will preserve and defend the foundations on which the strength of our Nation rests.
In foreign policy, The Council of Five will see its highest mission in the preservation of our People's right to an independent life and in the maintaining thereby of their Freedom. The determination of this Council to put an end to the chaotic conditions in the North is a step towards integration into the world's community of governments as a state having equal status and therefore equal rights with the rest.
With persistent urgency we must hasten to achieve these goals, as from the south we have witnessed movement from the destructive and ravenous fingers of yet another Empire whose history, for hundreds of years, has been welded together solely by force, not the free will of those affected. War has followed war. One nation after another was robbed of its freedom. One state after another was shattered so that the structure which calls itself the Turamzzyrian Empire might arise.
Considering how pious the outward gestures of those who deliberately, and with a cold heart, drive nation after nation into a struggle serving only their material interests, one is compelled to state that rarely has imperial hypocrisy reached such a pitch as that of the Empire today. The northern expansionistic placing of Elidal Dhenin as the Baron of Darkstone is nothing but a mask covering the continued subjugation and the oppression of both nations and individuals.
The task before us is the most difficult which has faced a Northern stateman in living memory. But we all have unbounded confidence, for we believe in our Nation and in its eternal values. Farmers, workers, and heroic defenders must unite to contribute the bricks wherewith to build our new Nation, a Nation which swells as new alliances are formed and past prejudices overcome. In place of our turbulent instincts, it will see National discipline govern our life. In the process it will take into account all the institutions which are the true safeguards of the strength and power of our Nation.
Let us begin, loyal to one another. May the Divine favor our work, shape our will in the right way, bless our vision and bless us with the trust of our People. We have no desire to fight for ourselves; only for the Freedom of the North.


---'-,-(@
Lord Sorlu Jae'kym Nalfein Town Councillor of Icemule Trace



Ask Lithyia

Hold the press this weeks addition has a guest contributor Anonymous Anya

Created by Midjourney uploaded with permission of player of Lithyia who is also the person who worked in the creation of the image.


Dear Lithy,
Hey there! I heard you're pretty good at giving advice so I need your help. See, there's this lady in Icemule that just got voted into office and boy is she pretty! The type of pretty that makes a guy like me want to keep his foot hair brushed, know what I mean? The problem is I don't think she's got the eyes for me. Not yet at least.

She recently shot me down in public, but I think she was just playing hard to get because later on I heard her say she might be willing to take me to Icewall Penitentiary. It's an odd place for a date, but beggars can't be choosers.

What advice can you give to help make sure this date is a success?

Sincerely, Horsing Around Mule

Dear Horsing Around Mule

That does seem like an odd location for a date...I would like to suggest a better destination, one that might be better suited to your...desires. Are you at all familiar with the temples in Solhaven? There is a beautiful garden located there that might impress her and bring you some luck.

As for a bit of additional advice; bring her a lovely bouquet composed of tuberoses and make sure you are wearing emerald green.

Oh and be certain to be persistent! Sometimes you have to bring them a few socks...errr flowers, before you win them over!

Best of luck! Lithy


My dear Horsing Around,

Yes, the Penitentiary is an odd locale for a date. May I suggest a journey to the Vipershroud near Wehnimer's Landing, where there is a lovely old temple that is welcoming of all. The travel time will provide you a chance for you and your lady love to talk, and there is considerable art throughout the temple to admire once you arrive. Don't let the swampy locale deter you, as it is the perfect metaphor for beauty thriving in the face of adversity.

Best of luck (and watch out for vipers)!

Anonymous Anya
_________________________________________________________________

Dear Lithy,

I had to steal some paper to write this to you so I hope you're as good with advice as people say.

You see, I like this guy but he doesn't even notice me because he is enamored with another woman. I know what you're probably going to say but hear me out! She's evil! Not just the "I should be dating him and not her" kind of evil but "might be some kind of demon" type of evil.

I don't have anything to offer him except my love and devotion, but I don't think he sees that as enough. How do I get him away from the succubus who has him under her power and get him to see that I would be so much better for him?

Please help,

Jealous but Justified

Dear Jealous, Since my leanings for the answer to your dilemma are leading me to a desire for setting certain things on fire, I have consulted with my wise associate, Anonymous Anya. Here's what she has for you...

Lithy


Dear Jealous, Men are blind and stupid, a fact we must all come to terms with eventually. Your best bet is to befriend this fellow so you can be there at his side when his lovely succubus eventually turns on him - nothing brings the idiots around like the pretty girl they can turn to when their love life goes south. Oh, you're not pretty? I'm sure a trip to the Spa at Silvergate Inn will help with that!

Smooches! Anonymous Anya