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Town Wehnimer's Landing
Gender female
Job Owner
Shop Name Helga's Tavern
Storyline Beyond the Arkati
Gender Female
Hometown Wehnimer's Landing

Helga is the no-nonsense owner of Helga's Tavern which is located on Stormarm St. in Wehnimer's Landing


This is Helga.  She's not pretty.  She's not petite.  But she's the boss in this establishment.

Room Messaging

A large fly has the audacity to land on the newly painted bar near Helga.  With surprising speed and force, the towel in Helga's hand *SNAPS* the fly out of existence.

Helga gazes wistfully around the chaos of the tavern and says, "Glad we finally got the place all fixed up.  Startin' to look like old times around here!"  She thumps on the bar with her wooden spoon, splattering droplets of stew on an oblivious patron.

A travel-weary patron wanders in and looks around the dingy barroom.  He shrugs and takes a seat near the end of the bar, motioning to Helga for an ale.

Disappearing briefly through a set of unfinished doors that seem to lead to a kitchen, you hear Helga scream, "Fool!  You COOK the turnips and WEAR the sack!  Not the other way around!"

Helga paces slowly behind the bar, keeping a wary eye on the clientele.

Helga wipes a few dirty glasses with her apron.  Though they don't appear any cleaner to you, Helga seems satisfied and puts the glasses away.

Helga leans over and peers into the bubbling stewpot, extending a chubby arm to stir the mixture with a large wooden spoon.  "Nice and chunky!" she comments, smiling as she samples a mouthful and wipes the drips on her towel.

Helga wipes her hands on her apron and glances out the door.

Helga wanders over to a patron who appears to have fallen asleep and is drooling on the newly finished bar.  With a not-so-gentle prod, the fellow rouses enough to clamber to the door and stumble out.

Quin Telaren

When Quin Telaren, the town guard, is visiting Helga's for a drink he has much to say. It's interesting to note that he pays little attention to the male patrons.

The town guard takes a long drink of his ale and exclaims, "Better to drink than to die I always say!  But to die drinking?  Well, there's worse ways to go."

The town guard says, "Hey Person, how about buying a round for the house?  You look like you can afford it."  The guard winks.

The town guard says, "Helga, another ale please and make it cold!"

The town guard smiles at you and asks, "Can I buy you a drink, young lady?"

The town guard says, "You should try the ale, Person, it's the best you'll find in town.  Much better than grog, which comes from the bottom of the barrel ya know."

The town guard swaggers and says, "Helga?  You have got to be the sweetest woman this side of the DragonSpine Mountains.  No, I mean it!  It's just a coincidence that my mug is almost empty."

The town guard spins around, carefully balancing his mug of ale on his head.  "Look at me!  I'm a ballerina!" he cries.  Just then he gets his legs crossed and goes toppling to the ground, spilling his ale all over himself.  Surprisingly, Helga, instead of getting angry, just shakes her head and smiles to herself.

The town guard says, "A few years back, I was playing poker with three Nalfein elves and an old troll named Gurk.  I had just won my fifth hand in a row when Gurk jumped up in anger proclaiming, 'Gearka konak greko kurk!' while waving his arms about.  Then he just sat back down and started shuffling the deck for the next hand.  I still don't know what the heck he said."

The town guard says, "Helga, whadya say you and me blow this town and head on down to Idolone for the time of our lives?"  Helga doesn't reply, but she silently winks at him and smiles.