Mist Harbor Library Lectures - 2025-01-05 - The Art of Empathic Healing (log)

The following was the thirty second lecture in the Mist Harbor Library lecture series, where Maylan was the guest speaker, which was given on 05/01/5125. Topics covered in this lecture series must be lore-based but are otherwise left to the discretion of the speaker. This lecture discusses the art of empathic healing.

This log has been edited to remove excess noise and chatter. Some engagement and digression have remained to reflect the audience participation and subsequent discussion.

---

[Library, Meeting Hall - 29806] (u3223132)
A trio of wide stairs lead down from a wide archway into this brightly lit room. A small podium stands atop a small dais opposite the archway, and several cushioned benches have been arranged throughout the space, each offering an excellent line of sight. A number of elliptical windows line the walls of the hall, and a rich crimson-patterned carpet covers the entirety of the floor underfoot. You also see a small table with some stuff on it.
Also here: Bathcwyn Missoni, Adalfuns who is sitting, Berean who is sitting, Zeminar who is lying down, Conquerer of Reim Trallihn who is sitting, Tabubu who is sitting, Dendum, Lord Kothos who is sitting, Savcia who is sitting, Lord Heartfire who is sitting, Lady Meliyara who is sitting, Master Pote who is sitting, Starmizt who is sitting, Sirona who is sitting, Lady Yesina who is kneeling, Corlyne who is sitting, Adjutant Yunni who is sitting, Lady Elaejia who is sitting, Bakarus, Magister Raelee, Nalira who is sitting, Dahcre Reader Ordim who is sitting, Master Aendir who is sitting, Riend who is sitting, Fehala who is sitting, Land Pirate Maylan, Quinzella who is sitting, Peatwyn

You walk behind a small podium.

You gaze fondly at your surroundings.

You softly begin, "So many familiar faces and some new ones too!"

You softly greet, "Good afternoon everyone and a happy New Year to you all."

You softly begin, "As the Library's Loremaster, it gives me great pleasure to once again welcome you to another in our lecture series."

You surprisedly add, "Now in its fifth year. I can't quite believe it."

You softly say, "And it's all thanks to you, my wonderful audience and the generosity of our speakers."

You brightly explain, "As I'm sure you are all aware by now, the aim is to provide a platform for imparting knowledge and encouraging discourse."

You gently remind, "I ask that everyone be considerate to our speaker, as well as those who comment or ask questions."

You softly continue, "All opinions are welcome and indeed encouraged, as long as they are courteously expressed."

You softly say, "I am delighted that this young lady agreed to be here today."

You diplomatically say, "No doubt many of you are familiar with her antics and no, she is not here to mop the floors."

You surreptitiously glance at Maylan.

You smile quietly to yourself.

Maylan grins wryly.

You softly say, "So, without further ado, please give Maylan a warm Library welcome."

[LOTS OF APPLAUSE]

(Maylan nods in acknowledgement to you. Her eyes appear alert and clear, her demeanor confident and …sober?!)

Kothos whispers, "I wondered why she looked so sober."

Kothos winks at you.

You see Land Pirate Maylan the Hospitaller of the Order of the Swan.
She appears to be an Aelotoi of the Mrae'ni Clan.
She is of a slight height and has a thin, wiry frame. She appears to be in the meridian of life. She has completely solid, vivid jade eyes and mocha freckled, ruddy skin. She has raggedly cut, frizzy raven-sheened hair worn in a single snarled sailor's knot braid entwined with feathers. She has a narrow face, a gently sloped nose and a dimpled chin. She has a small gap between her front teeth. She has a discolored mop-fringed pegleg for a leg. She has a pair of crooked, jagged-edged pearly wings trailing some hemp-tassled chipped shell mosaics on their outer edges.
She has a black-inked crying whale on her wrist, and a sun-shaped gold stud in her right nostril.
She is in good shape.
She is holding a bleached bone bloodletting basin with a jade rim in her right hand.
She is wearing a threadbare crocheted jade green and coppery wool shawl, a faded emerald linen dress haphazardly stitched in a frayed spiral of dirt-caked swan feathers over a coarse knitted dingy grey cotton petticoat, a cuff of filament-bound dried wildflowers, a floriated silver spoon thumb ring, and some pitiful coppery starsilk high chopines raised on mossbark heels.
Grubby clouds of dust and grime obscure her form, wafting lazily as she moves.

Maylan clears her throat.

Maylan recites:

   "Today I will reveal to you the art of empathic healing. But while each healer has a unique relationship to the corporeal form, there is a common thread that binds us to our art.
    I will begin with a brief introduction of the Four Humors, and then I will proceed with a live diagnosis and treatment session to show its direct application.
    This session is intended to be interactive, so please ask questions throughout."

Maylan recites:

   "Our bodies consist of four basic corporeal elements, known as humors. These elements are working and interacting with one another in a harmonious dance of universal balance. When an empath transfers an ailment from a patient to their bodies, it is our internal humors that work seamlessly to rebalance and heal our flesh.
     Every ailment, disease, and injury can be attributed to an imbalance of humors. Thus, the art of empathic healing lies in learning how to generate and diminish each humor in order to achieve the correct balance. Master empaths knit and weave their humors seamlessly and without thought, instantaneously creating their desired result."

Maylan recites:

   "The first of these elements is Blood: The primary humor, giver of life and regeneration. Blood is used to grow new flesh and restore the body. It is the humor that allows an empath to establish a healing link with their patient. Blood is alive and communicative - it calls out and seeks other blood, allowing an empath to draw a wound to their own flesh. This humor is attuned to the air element.
    There are two forms of blood, often confused with one another. The first form is the actual blood flowing within the body. For the sake of simplicity, this will be referred to as  lifeblood." Lifeblood contains all four humors, including the primary humor known as blood. In fact if you remove a vial of lifeblood from a living body, you will witness the contents eventually separating into the four isolated humors over time."

You cock your head at Maylan. Trallihn prods a mug of whipped cream-topped cocoa with the tip of his finger. Trallihn's sentient potato whistles a jaunty little ditty! Maylan recites:

   "Next we have Yellow Bile: The revival humor. Yellow bile contains heating and acceleration properties. It can be used to speed up the effect of other humors, and to provide an energetic boost to an empath. This humor is attuned to fire."

You wrinkle your nose.

Trallihn says, "I know all about that one."

Maylan snickers.

Yesina chuckles.

Tabubu gives a sidelong glance at Trallihn.

You surreptitiously glance at Trallihn.

Tabubu shakes her head, clucking her tongue.

You feel the blood drain from your face.

Maylan recites:

   "Then we have Black Bile: The calming humor. Black bile has a cooling effect, and can be used to slow the workings of the other humors. It is known to provide a soothing effect on the mind, and is attuned to earth."

Pote takes a deep breath.

Trallihn says, "That one too."

You softly mutter, "Oh my."

Trallihn grins.

Maylan recites:

   "And finally we have Phlegm: The humor of entropy and destruction. Phlegm is utilized to purge substances from the body such as unwanted growths and fleshy masses, disease, poisons, and venoms. Phlegm is attuned to water."

Trallihn beams!

Tabubu stares unwaveringly at Trallihn.

Tabubu quietly says, "NO."

Bakarus nods understandingly.

You quietly whisper to Corlyne, "I'm feeling slightly nauseous already."

Tabubu looks over at Trallihn and shakes her head.

Raelee nods knowingly.

Speaking to Tabubu, Trallihn says, "Attuned to water... counts as a bath."

Maylan says, "To demonstrate the power of these elements, I will now conduct a live treatment session."

Maylan says, "'I shall now introduce my patient, Zeminar L`Draggor, First Seeker of the Order of..."

Maylan works her fingers under her bloated death mask and scratches her head.

Corlyne whispers, "As long as we don't have a live demonstration, we should be fine... right?"

Maylan says, "Order of..."

Zeminar strides a few steps forward.

Zeminar bows slightly forward as shadowy flames dissipate upward from his ebony leathers.

Maylan asks, "Blue Light? I believe?"

Meliyara nods approvingly at Zeminar.

Corlyne whispers, "Oh dear."

Maylan asks, "Yellow Light?"

Fehala takes a moment to observe Zeminar.

Bakarus smirks.

Zeminar sighs.

Zeminar raspily says, "...The Order of Eternal Light."

You quietly whisper to Corlyne, "Please, Lumnis, I hope not!"

Zeminar clears his throat.

Zeminar raspily says, "The Order of Eternal Light is an organization that deeply engages in the studies of all Arkati."

Maylan exclaims, "Yes yes, it is a fine Order of which we are both members!"

Maylan thumps her mop-fringed pegleg on the floor in three rapid successions.

Zeminar raspily says, "But."

Zeminar turns around.

Peatwyn starts chortling.

You wrinkle your nose.

Maylan says, "Now then. If you would please lie down so we can..."

A look of despair spreads across Zeminar's face an instant before he turns and vomits noisily onto the ground.

Zeminar raspily says, "But I uhh.. was told this was to be a discussion on the dark mysteries of sorcery. I'll show myself out."

Zeminar turns around.

Tabubu gazes with interest at Zeminar.

Maylan squints at Zeminar.

Speaking to Meliyara, Maylan insists, "Lock the door."

You quietly whisper to Corlyne, "I fear this may be the live demonstration ...."

Yunni glances between Zeminar and Maylan.

Peatwyn stares off into space.

Bakarus says, "He does seem quite healthy."

You bite your lip.

Corlyne whispers, "At least she's already brought a mop."

Speaking to Zeminar, Dendum says, "...maybe you can do discussion on dark mysteries after done vomiting."

Zeminar hangs his head.

Zeminar slowly empties his lungs.

Zeminar lies down.

Speaking to Zeminar, Maylan says, "Lad, get back here. I can assure you this is all very dark and mysterious to your liking."

Riend blinks.

Kothos chuckles.

Speaking to Maylan, Meliyara says, "He seems to be cooperating. For now."

Meliyara grins impishly at Maylan.

Speaking to Zeminar, Maylan says, "Now please lie down."

Saesyra glances between Maylan and Zeminar.

Elaejia holds her breath.

Ordim covers his eyes with his hands.

Zeminar nods once.

Tabubu quietly says, "I approve of this, go on Zeminar, do as she says."

Yunni gulps.

Speaking to Maylan, Meliyara says, "After all, we would not want to prevent late arrivals."

Tabubu nods encouragingly at Zeminar.

You quietly whisper to Corlyne, "She'll ask to be paid for mopping my floor!"

Tabubu quietly says, "I want to hear what she has to say."

Corlyne whispers, "I would gladly cover the fees as long as we don't have to go near all of that."

Maylan says, "Excellent. We can proceed."

Maylan recites:

   "A conundrum becomes an opportunity: We have a patient who bravely refuses a cure, allowing us to study the Green Death in greater detail. This provides us with the hope to potentially prevent a future outbreak.
    Such is the case at times, where the body or the patient are unwilling to receive healing, and these wishes must be respected. Sometimes the choice is conscious, as with Zeminar here. Sometimes the choice is not a mindful choice, such as when a healer cannot regenerate their own leg."

Maylan says, "I shall remind all that the Green Death is NO DANGER to the public safety."

Maylan grabs Zeminar's hand.

You quietly whisper to Corlyne, "You are a true friend, I'll no doubt be indisposed if mopping is required."

Maylan begins a careful examination of Zeminar -- she takes his pulse, checks his temperature, and checks for broken bones or any other ailments.

Maylan says, "As I take the patient in hand and examine his inner workin’s, the imbalance becomes clear to me. But we shall reveal it to you all through live demonstration."

Maylan says, "If you would all please step forward and smell the patient."

Corlyne whispers, "I would be remiss if you were left to clean up!"

Yunni blinks.

Maylan says, "Come now, don't be shy."

Peatwyn stands up.

Maylan sniffs at Zeminar.

Peatwyn walks toward Zeminar.

Peatwyn sniffs at Zeminar.

Yunni glances at Peatwyn.

Pote sniffs at Zeminar.

Zeminar raspily says, "This clearly encroaches on my privacy and personal space..."

Heartfire sniffs at Zeminar.

Meliyara glances skeptically between Maylan and Zeminar.

Yunni glances at Zeminar.

Peatwyn winces.

You vigorously shake your head.

(Elaejia s eyebrows climb skyward.)

Heartfire says, "Yummo."

Saesyra trills, "I, I'm fine."

Pote gags.

Tabubu quietly says, "I know better."

Sirona strides over to stand before Zeminar.

Meliyara nods in agreement at Tabubu.

Trallihn moves to a kneeling position.

Trallihn crawls up to Zeminar.

Peatwyn says, "A hint of sweet grass."

Trallihn sniffs at Zeminar.

Maylan recites:

   "It is very important to utilize all senses when diagnosing the patient"

Sirona sniffs at Zeminar.

Maylan waves a hand at Zeminar, dismissing him indifferently.

Speaking to Zeminar, Maylan says, "Do be quiet."

Speaking raspily to Maylan, Zeminar says, "Aelotoi, I question the efficacy and authenticity of your science."

Peatwyn politely says, "Yes."

Trallihn nods at Maylan.

Sirona nods at Maylan.

Peatwyn selects a spot on one of the cushioned benches and settles into its soft cushions.

(Fehala does not smell the patient. Nope.)

Zeminar coughs.

Sirona takes a few steps back.

Speaking to Tabubu, Trallihn says, "Smells fine."

Kothos whispers, "I think I will simply observe..."

Sirona selects a spot on one of the cushioned benches and settles into its soft cushions.

You nod in agreement at Kothos.

Maylan recites:

   "Now what do you observe about the patient's scent? Anything unique? Unusual?"

Dendum whispers, "Not going to smell the elf."

You softly say, "We're fine at the back but thank you."

You vigorously shake your head at Dendum.

Corlyne nods in agreement to you.

Kothos chuckles.

Speaking to Maylan, Trallihn asks, "Smells better than me?"

Zeminar slowly empties his lungs.

Zeminar closes his eyes for a moment.

Maylan says, "Don't be shy, please share your observations."

Heartfire says, "It smells yummy."

Maylan sniffs at Zeminar.

Peatwyn says, "There is an olfactory aspect of -- the forward movement of time."

Speaking to his tattered filthy towel, Trallihn says, "Yep, tha's what I said too."

Speaking to Peatwyn, Maylan asks, "Decay, one might say?"

Pote says, "Smells like death."

Ordim sniffs.

Peatwyn says, "One could."

Pote gags.

Ordim's eyes widen slightly.

Maylan asks, "Any other observations of the patient's miasma?"

Woven into Zeminar's skin is a patchwork of rotting, maggot-infested flesh that fairly hangs from his form.

You see Zeminar L'Draggor the Necromancer of Solhaven.
He appears to be an Evashiran Dark Elf.
He is hunched and has a withered, bony physique. He appears to be advanced in years. He has piercing stormy grey eyes and incredibly pale, ashen skin. He has very long, straight white hair. He has a gaunt face and thin-tipped pointed ears.
He has a small black skull tattoo on his wrist, and a Dhe'nari temple caste tattoo on his neck.
Clustering boils heavy with vile green fluid cover his skin.
Gangrenous flesh lays open to expose the blackened bone of his ring finger where a smooth bone ring pierced by tiny crystal shards rests. Sickly green necrosis spreads to the back of his hand and wrist, while blistering sores ooze along his arm.
He is holding a faded sepia leather grimoire clasped by a tarnished bronze pentacle in his left hand. He is wearing a dark purple spidersilk cloak edged with silver veniom threading, a glowing shadowglass phylactery, a black ora chain, some black spidersilk robes with torn and charred sleeves, an orb of putrid ether, a cadaverous rat with baleful red eyes, a carved bone Luukos symbol shaped into an open-mouthed snake, some green-tinged elf skin gloves, a black eahnor ring, a dark violet leather satchel adorned with finger bones, and some bone-buckled vruul skin boots.

Maylan says, "Feel free to get closer and smell again."

Maylan sniffs at Zeminar.

Heartfire says, "It's humid, thick."

Heartfire sniffs at Zeminar.

You ponder the meaning of Zeminar's existence.

Riend wrinkles her nose.

Pote says, "I am not that smart."

Pote plops down to the ground in a sitting position.

Savcia sniffs at Zeminar.

Zeminar fidgets.

Ordim winks at Pote.

Speaking uneasily to Corlyne, you whisper aloud, "He's covered in ...."

Speaking softly to Corlyne, you mouth, "Green boils!"

Ordim collects a waxed leather mask with a hooked black beak from a large compartment inside the witchwood case.

Holding the leather mask to his face, Ordim carefully tightens the straps at the back of his head and binds it firmly in place.

You shudder.

Maylan recites:

   "The clear note of decay has been detected in the patient. Let us move on to his inner workings"

Maylan grabs a tincture of red phlegm from a snot-crusted handkerchief inside of her quilted toqua.

Kothos asks, "...inner workings...?"

Dendum asks, "Oh we are going to start cutting?"

Raelee asks, "... do you intend to open him?"

Speaking to Zeminar, Maylan says, "And now sir, I must insist you drink this."

Yunni's face turns slightly pale.

Maylan offers Zeminar a tincture of red phlegm.

You look at Dendum blankly, at a loss to express yourself.

Zeminar accepts Maylan's red phlegm.

Peatwyn groans.

Zeminar pores over a tincture of red phlegm, engrossed in the study of it.

(Raelee peers curiously at Zeminar.)

Kothos says, "Or examine a...pathway."

Dendum gazes with interest at his surroundings.

Speaking to Zeminar, Maylan says, "Have a sip and your inner mysteries will be revealed, I assure you."

Zeminar shifts his eyes to Maylan.

Trallihn grunts at Zeminar in approval.

Speaking to himself, Ordim says, "Should have brought some gloves today too."

Maylan nods at Zeminar.

Zeminar takes a drink from his red phlegm.

Speaking to Ordim, Trallihn says, "I might have some extra socks."

Zeminar seems extremely uncomfortable.

Dendum offers, ""Have some extra knives if needed."

Maylan recites:

   "Please observe the effect on the patient and note your observations"

Fehala gazes with interest at Zeminar.

Zeminar's eyes tear up as he swallows, the look on his face depicting utter disgust.

Speaking to Saesyra, Meliyara whispers aloud, "I do believe she has convinced him to purge."

Ordim stares at Zeminar.

Zeminar cries out softly and doubles over in obvious pain, clutching at his stomach.

Raelee stands up.

Zeminar suddenly clamps his mouth shut and covers it with his hand. It looks as if he is about to become violently ill! Better take a step back.

Kothos looks thoughtfully at Zeminar.

You grimace.

Speaking quietly to Kothos, Raelee says, "I need to see this more closely."

Tabubu takes a moment to observe Zeminar.

Zeminar suddenly emits an enormous belch, which brings with it a foul-smelling vaporous snake that writhes in the air for several moments before dissolving away.

Kothos nods once at Raelee.

Raelee narrows her eyes slightly, studying Zeminar with a cool, analytical gaze.

Zeminar stares unwaveringly at Maylan.

Trallihn lets out a cheer!

Lifting his eyebrows and leaning forward, Dendum gazes with interest at his surroundings.

Berean glances furtively over his left shoulder.

Speaking hushedly to himself, Peatwyn exclaims, "Lord of lies... what was that!"

Maylan recites:

   "Now then, the patient has provided a lovely sample for us to examine on the floor here"

Tabubu wrinkles her nose.

Saesyra glances about with a disgusted look on her face.

Nalira clasps her hand over her mouth.

Maylan recites:

   "Please step forth and observe the sample. What characteristics do you note in the fluids?"

Zeminar produces some distilled garlic water from the depths of his spidersilk cloak.

Zeminar takes a drink from his garlic water.

Zeminar looks rather relaxed.

Ordim glances down.

Nalira shakes her head.

Sirona glances at Zeminar.

Speaking wryly to Raelee, Kothos says, "I imagine that is not what you had in mind."

Yunni gazes heavenward.

You sadly lament, "My nice clean library."

You let your shoulders fall along with all the muscles in your face. You paste on your best hangdog expression and generally feel awful for yourself.

Speaking to you, Maylan assures, "I am a professional."

(Peatwyn bravely stands up and moves closer to the fluid.)

A pained expression crosses Peatwyn's face.

Corlyne murmurs, "The contents of a previous meal?"

You whine at Maylan.

Nalira glances away.

Speaking to Kothos, Raelee says, "Unexpected can be of great value in research."

Speaking to Corlyne, Maylan says, "Aye, very good. Very good."

Speaking wryly to you, Meliyara says, "She will certainly offer her services to clean up after her presentation."

Speaking to you, Trallihn says, "It hasn't been clean since ya let that demonstration o'teadragon breeding occur..."

Trallihn just nudged you.

Elaejia clasps her hand over her mouth.

Raelee states, "Bile."

Saesyra glances warily at a titan-stamped steel-lipped oak stein in her hand.

Saesyra sighs.

Maylan recites:

   "Of note, the fluid is rather more viscous than standard vomit"

Speaking softly to Meliyara, you say, "Lady Lancre has already offered to pay her to do so."

You wrinkle your nose.

Peatwyn says, "A sort of melange of culinary histories."

Sirona nods understandingly at Maylan.

Kothos chuckles.

Meliyara nods sympathetically to you.

Speaking indignantly to Trallihn, you exclaim, "Don't remind me!"

Speaking to Zeminar, Maylan asks, "And are you feeling any relief after purging?"

Speaking to Maylan, Raelee says, "There is phlegm in addition to the bile, is there not? Somewhat causing the viscosity."

Zeminar shifts his eyes to Maylan.

You glance away.

Speaking to Raelee, Maylan says, "You have a sharp eye, and you are correct."

Pote glances between Maylan and Zeminar.

Speaking raspily to Maylan, Zeminar says, "I am not relieved, no."

Speaking to Maylan, Raelee agrees, "I do."

Speaking to Zeminar, Maylan says, "Then we must go further and purge your lifeblood."

Maylan grabs a bleached bone bloodletting basin with a jade rim from a snot-crusted handkerchief inside of her quilted toqua.

You blink at Maylan.

Zeminar raspily says, "....Fantastic."

Meliyara gazes with interest at Maylan.

Speaking to Zeminar, Maylan says, "This will only hurt a moment."

Maylan unsheathes a notched bone dagger from one of the narrow scabbards along the side of her suede hip-satchel.

You clasp a hand over your mouth.

Zeminar slowly empties his lungs.

You feel the blood drain from your face.

Bakarus glances between Maylan and Zeminar.

Kothos whispers, "She is beautiful when she is engaged."

You whimper at Corlyne!

Speaking to Zeminar, Maylan instructs, "Please remove your arm greaves."

Dendum whispers, "Well....on bright side....mop girl may know how to clean this...."

Dendum whispers, "Maybe no."

Dendum shrugs at you.

You nod faintly at Dendum.

You quietly whisper to Dendum, "Small blessings."

A mixture of confusion and curiosity crosses Sirona's face as she studies Zeminar.

Speaking to Zeminar, Maylan adds, "And your armband."

Zeminar's muscles quiver and tremble uncontrollably.

Zeminar removes a veniom-traced bone armband from his arm.

Maylan nods.

Maylan steps closer to Zeminar, hovering the tip of her bone dagger over one of his arms. She looks at him for approval to proceed with the bloodletting.

Squaring his shoulders, Zeminar straightens up and nods in agreement to Maylan, holding out one of his arms for the bloodletting.

Peatwyn winces.

Dendum whispers, "Worry not library keeper, smell will be gone long before memory."

A pained expression crosses Zeminar's face.

Reaching out to grasp one of Zeminar's arms, Maylan rotates it slightly until the crook of his elbow is visible. Angling her bone dagger slightly, she presses the tip deeply into the tender flesh, watching the blood begin to well up. Once satisfied, Maylan withdraws the blade and lowers Zeminar's arm to his side, carefully placing her bloodletting basin beneath it to catch the steady stream of blood now flowing over his skin. A rivulet of bright red blood continues to flow down Zeminar's arm and into Maylan's bloodletting basin.

Peatwyn gasps.

A final few drops of sanguine blood fall from Zeminar's arm into Maylan's bloodletting basin before the wound closes up.

Maylan recites:

   "Please observe the quality of the blood as it is collected"

Ordim nods slowly.

Speaking quietly in Elven to Aendir, Elaejia murmurs, "Never have I been more grateful that the empathic arts were not gifted to our family."

Tabubu quietly says, "Who knew he even had that much blood in him."

Ordim gives an approval gesture with his hand.

Dendum asks, "How much...blood....are we removing?"

Corlyne says, "More viscous than the usual bleeding."

Speaking to Dendum, Trallihn says, "Enough."

(Peatwyn stifles a snort at Tabubu's comment.)

Speaking to Dendum, Maylan says, "Enough to provide relief to the patient."

Speaking to you, Pote asks, "Are these lectures, always so real?"

You softly fret, "Hopefully it's all in the bowl!"

Speaking raspily to Maylan, Zeminar asks, "You are positive you are proficient enough to do this? Are you even registered with a medical guild?"

Speaking faintly to Pote, you say, "Not quite this visceral but yes."

Pote nods slowly.

Speaking to Zeminar, Maylan says, "I can assure you my arts are ancient, and my practice dates back generations."

Speaking to Zeminar, Meliyara assures, "She is a hospitaller of the Order of the Swan."

Speaking to Zeminar, Maylan asks, "Now please tell us. How long have you been suffering from your affliction?"

Dendum whispers, "Dung fires are date back generations."

Speaking tightly to Pote, you exclaim, "Don't even ask what Trallihn spoke on!"

Dendum whispers, "Does not make them better than wood fires."

You surreptitiously glance at Trallihn.

Pote glances at Trallihn.

Zeminar raspily says, "Oh err... Yes. Many many months."

Tabubu gazes with interest at Zeminar.

Pote nods in agreement to you.

You quietly whisper to Dendum, "I was thinking more in the line of incense."

Speaking to Zeminar, Maylan asks, "That is quite a long time to suffer so. And can you please list your primary symptoms to the audience?"

Zeminar raspily says, "Well, I study the Green Death as directly as possible. It has grave importance to my understandings of hidden sorceries."

You feel the blood drain from your face.

Zeminar raspily says, "My body is of little importance."

Speaking to his tattered filthy towel, Trallihn says, "She said not to remind her... but yer right, didn't say nothing bout nobody else..."

Maylan nods at Zeminar.

Zeminar raspily says, "I would say though..."

Zeminar raspily says, "My symptoms do quite blend together. I have all the symptoms these days."

Speaking to Zeminar, Maylan asks, "Fevers? Postules? Leakage?"

Zeminar raspily says, "Sure."

Tabubu cringes.

Fehala mouths, "Leakage."

Nalira wrinkles her nose.

Zeminar slowly empties his lungs.

Speaking to Zeminar, Maylan asks, "Vomiting? Cramps?"

Speaking horrifiedly to Corlyne, you mouth, "Leakage."

Zeminar raspily says, "Indeed."

Speaking to Zeminar, Maylan asks, "Dermal irritation?"

Zeminar raspily says, "Of course."

Speaking to Zeminar, Maylan asks, "Crankiness?"

Fehala gulps.

Zeminar slowly empties his lungs.

Maylan mutters yes.

Bakarus smirks.

Zeminar abruptly turns his head to look over his shoulder, scanning the area.

Speaking to Maylan, Meliyara whispers aloud, "He had this before the disease, as well."

Peatwyn starts chortling.

Pote begins chuckling at Meliyara!

Sirona grins at Meliyara.

You gaze in amusement at Meliyara.

Speaking to Meliyara, Maylan says, "True, true. That symptom must be disregarded."

Savcia laughs softly, trying to hide her amusement.

Sweat streaks down Zeminar's face in salty rivulets.

Maylan recites:

   "Now my healers in training. Who wishes to observe his lifeblood and tie his ailment to a humor? Do any wish to try?"

You vigorously shake your head.

You lean back.

Maylan tilts her bloodletting basin side to side, making the light play off it.

Maylan asks, "Too shy?"

Speaking to Maylan, Raelee says, "... I do not often consider myself a healer in training but..."

Maylan offers Raelee a bleached bone bloodletting basin with a jade rim.

Raelee accepts Maylan's bloodletting basin.

Speaking to Raelee, Maylan says, "Do be careful with the basin. It has been with me since before I crossed the portal."

Raelee walks toward Zeminar.

Zeminar closes his eyes for a moment.

Raelee nods slowly at Maylan.

Raelee says, "I do have my own lancet... one moment."

Raelee removes a razor-honed grey lancet set with a slitted topaz eye from in her components kit.

Maylan reminds, "Remember the scent of decay we have noted as well as the viscous nature of his excretions."

You bury your face in your hands.

You inwardly sigh.

Nalira's face turns slightly pale.

Riend clears her throat.

Ordim's sentient potato whistles a jaunty little ditty!

Speaking to Tabubu, Trallihn says, "I hope yer paying attention... some of this might help you."

Raelee says, "Let us clean this out first..."

Raelee carefully tilts her bloodletting basin to one side, letting a stream of blood pour over its jade rim and to the ground. With a few taps on the bone of the basin, she forces the last few sanguine drops to escape.

Peatwyn groans.

Speaking to you, Raelee asks, "... you do have cleaners, yes?"

Dendum shakes his head.

Speaking softly to Raelee, you say, "Um... yes."

You surreptitiously glance at Maylan.

Speaking to Zeminar, Raelee says, "Do stay still."

Maylan recites:

   "Please gather around and note the sample Raelee has provided on the floor"

Speaking wryly to you, Meliyara whispers aloud, "Perhaps for this day's lecture, the snacks and drinks might have better been left until after."

Savcia's face turns slightly pale.

Peatwyn stands up.

Trallihn moves to a kneeling position.

Ordim glances down.

Peatwyn walks toward Raelee.

Corlyne glances down.

Peatwyn hangs his head.

Trallihn squints.

Yesina agrees with Meliyara.

Speaking fretfully to Meliyara, you whisper aloud, "You're right."

Sirona leans forward.

A pained expression crosses Peatwyn's face.

Trallihn nods.

Sirona glances down.

Speaking to you, Kothos says, "I would suggest leaving a sizeable gratuity when we lock up."

Speaking to you, Pote says, "Your floor."

Trallihn falls back and plops to the ground in a sitting position.

Tabubu leans back.

Sirona nods slowly.

Pote nods slowly.

Raelee steps closer to Zeminar, hovering the tip of her grey lancet over one of his arms. She looks at him for approval to proceed with the bloodletting.

Squaring his shoulders, Zeminar straightens up and nods in agreement to Raelee, holding out one of his arms for the bloodletting.

You resignedly murmur, "My floor."

Speaking to you, Nalira whispers aloud, "I'm sorry...if I get sick on your floor."

Speaking to Zeminar, Raelee reminds, "Still."

You let your shoulders fall along with all the muscles in your face. You paste on your best hangdog expression and generally feel awful for yourself.

Speaking to you, Corlyne suggests, "Perhaps we could afford to rebuild the meeting hall?"

Speaking resignedly to Nalira, you say, "That's alright."

Zeminar clenches his jaw.

Maylan assures, "It is all in the name of learning, fear not."

Reaching out to grasp one of Zeminar's arms, Raelee rotates it slightly until the crook of his elbow is visible. Angling her grey lancet slightly, she presses the tip deeply into the tender flesh, watching the blood begin to well up. Once satisfied, Raelee withdraws the blade and lowers Zeminar's arm to his side, carefully placing her bloodletting basin beneath it to catch the steady stream of blood now flowing over his skin.

Speaking to Nalira, Meliyara encourages, "You would at least not be the first today."

Speaking softly to Corlyne, you say, "We should just ask Raelee to burn it down now."

Nalira nods slowly at Meliyara.

Nalira frowns.

Speaking to you, Corlyne says, "She may not even charge us."

Speaking to you, Dendum asks, "Books and all?"

A final few drops of sanguine blood fall from Zeminar's arm into Raelee's bloodletting basin before the wound closes up.

Speaking wryly to you, Elaejia reasons, "Who could have foreseen the need for a dropcloth?"

Speaking distractedly to you, Raelee says, "... I am not burning down a library, Rohese. I do have my limits."

Speaking tentatively to Raelee, you propose, "Just this hall then?"

You wrinkle your nose.

Gazing thoughtfully into the contents of her bloodletting basin, Raelee rotates it slowly in the palm of one hand, observing the blood within lapping against the bone with a critical eye.

Maylan encourages, "Focus, concentrate on the matter at hand! We will cleanup later."

Raelee offers Maylan a bleached bone bloodletting basin with a jade rim.

Maylan accepts Raelee's bloodletting basin.

Speaking quietly to Zeminar, Tabubu says, "You might start to worry if they actually heal you."

Speaking to Raelee, Maylan asks, "And do you wish to make a diagnosis based on your findings?"

Speaking to Maylan, Raelee says, "That should be a sufficient quantity."

Speaking apologetically to Maylan, you murmur, "Sorry, do continue ... you may as well now."

Speaking to Maylan, Raelee says, "While few pathogens are truly exclusive to one element..."

(Kothos watches Raelee with fascination, though he's careful to stay out of the way and keeps his sandals out of the less than savory elements littering the library.)

Speaking to Maylan, Raelee says, "... this one does seem particularly focused upon phlegm, given the rot it often causes."

Speaking to Raelee, Maylan exclaims, "You are correct!"

(Maylan ticks off her fingers as she speaks.)

Speaking simply to Maylan, Raelee states, "Good."

With a wince, you slowly massage your temple hoping for some relief.

Sirona shudders.

Maylan says, "The scent of decay, the viscous nature of his fluids, and the overall degradation of his flesh all suggest an overabundance of the phlegm humor."

Maylan says, "From mine own notes:"

Maylan recites:

   "An excess in phlegm is particularly dangerous, as the body will quickly begin to deteriorate under the destructive forces. Therefore, a diet with limited dairy is recommended. Patients should consume dry, dead grasses to artificially reduce phlegm."

(Raelee calmly observes the mess on the floor, looking quite unbothered.)

Speaking to Maylan, Meliyara asks, "Why do dry, dead grasses have this effect on the phlegm?"

Speaking to Zeminar, Maylan says, "Put quite simply, you Sir, are too wet."

Sirona nods knowingly.

Savcia laughs softly, trying to hide her amusement.

Peatwyn starts chortling.

Speaking to Maylan, Raelee asks, "... he ought to eat hay?"

Missoni furrows her brow.

Speaking to Raelee, Maylan says, "He ought to eat an abundance of hay."

Fehala gets a blank look on her face.

Raelee glances skeptically between Maylan and Zeminar.

Pote blinks.

Speaking to Meliyara, Maylan says, "Items of the earth have a calming effect on items of the water. Remember that each humor is aligned with an element."

You confusedly echo, "Hay?"

You furrow your brow, probably adding a wrinkle or two in the process.

Maylan grabs some crusty dark brown bread dotted with hearty oats from a snot-crusted handkerchief inside of her quilted toqua.

Meliyara nods understandingly at Maylan.

Maylan says, "Or perhaps something a bit more akin to food."

Maylan offers Zeminar some crusty dark brown bread dotted with hearty oats.

Zeminar accepts Maylan's dark brown bread.

Speaking to Zeminar, Maylan says, "Do be a dear and eat this."

Zeminar pores over some crusty dark brown bread dotted with hearty oats, engrossed in the study of it.

Zeminar shrugs.

Zeminar takes a bite of his dark brown bread.

Peatwyn shoots his hand into the air, waving it frantically, then uses his other hand to raise it even higher, his entire body wiggling with excitement.

Maylan cocks her head.

Sirona nods understandingly.

Maylan squints at Zeminar.

Zeminar takes a bite of his dark brown bread.

Speaking to Zeminar, Maylan asks, "Any improvement?"

Sirona takes a moment to observe Zeminar.

Speaking raspily to Maylan, Zeminar says, "I am less hungry."

Speaking softly to Peatwyn, you encourage, "Do ask your questions freely."

Meliyara nods approvingly at Zeminar.

Speaking to Zeminar, Dendum inquires, "Did you have hunger before?"

Peatwyn asks, "Friend Maylan? Does an imbalance of too much of one humor look the same as a lack of its corresponding calming humor?"

Zeminar nods at Dendum.

Peatwyn asks, "With the same symptoms?"

Dendum nods sagely.

Dendum says, "Truly it appears bread eases hunger."

Speaking to Peatwyn, Maylan says, "Sometimes yes and sometimes no. While one humor does tend to have an opposing force to another, the nature of various afflictions can cause the humors to disrupt in an infinite number of patterns."

Kothos whispers, "Peroxide will clean it up well enough, my friend. Tell your staff to use it and a few clean, dry cloths. It will suffice."

You nod appreciatively at Kothos.

Tabubu quietly says, "He still looks withered to me."

Speaking to Zeminar, Maylan says, "Now dear patient, we will attempt to increase your black bile humor to see if this has any calming effects."

Maylan grabs a brown glaes boot-shaped bottle of Maylan's Gutter Swill from a snot-crusted handkerchief inside of her quilted toqua.

Maylan offers Zeminar a brown glaes boot-shaped bottle of Maylan's Gutter Swill.

Zeminar accepts Maylan's Maylan's Gutter Swill.

Speaking to Zeminar, Maylan says, "You have had this concoction before."

Zeminar pores over a brown glaes boot-shaped bottle of Maylan's Gutter Swill, engrossed in the study of it.

Sweat streaks down Zeminar's face in salty rivulets.

You quietly whisper to Kothos, "Thank you. I am currently focusing on not being ill myself at the moment but I shall remember that."

Zeminar nods slowly.

Kothos reaches over and gently rests his hand on your arm.

Missoni glances warily at Zeminar.

Tabubu clasps her hand over her mouth.

Maylan nods at Zeminar.

Zeminar takes a drink from his Maylan's Gutter Swill.

Speaking to Zeminar, Maylan says, "And another bite of bread."

Zeminar takes a bite of his dark brown bread.

Zeminar sniffs at his Maylan's Gutter Swill.

Zeminar winces.

Speaking to Zeminar, Maylan asks, "And do you feel any relief with these treatments?"

Zeminar raspily says, "I believe I feel worse now."

You wrinkle your nose.

Maylan blurts, "EXCELLENT!"

Maylan exclaims, "That means it is working!"

Maylan lets out a cheer!

Tabubu arches one eyebrow at Maylan in an expression of sardonic amusement.

Zeminar slowly empties his lungs.

Peatwyn starts chortling.

Speaking to Maylan, Kothos asks, "Are you hoping to trigger another purge?"

Kothos glances between Zeminar and Maylan.

You apprehensively murmur, "Please don't be ill on my floor again."

Maylan recites:

   "While empaths are able to alter their internal humors with a focus of will, a lay-person can achieve a similar, if diminished result. Such is the case with healing herbs and home remedies.
    We shall attempt to concoct such for our dear patient here in order to increase their comfort and reduce symptoms."

Riend glances uneasily at Kothos.

Maylan recites:

   "For the patient I prescribe the following: One: Eliminate all dairy from your diet, Two: Drink alcoholic beverages daily, and Three: Consume as many grains and grasses as your stomach has capacity to hold"

Speaking to Riend, Kothos says, "The grain to soak up the toxin, and the Swill to...expel it."

Zeminar nods slowly.

You shoot Maylan the smallest of dismayed glances, conveying your disapproval.

Corlyne asks, "Would the grains and grasses in alcohol suffice?"

Aendir grins at Corlyne.

Corlyne surreptitiously glances at you.

Elaejia chuckles to herself.

Speaking carefully to Maylan, Raelee asks, "Is your daily consumption of alcoholic beverages related to a humoric imbalance?"

Speaking quietly to Kothos, Riend implores, "Lady Rohese's library floors."

Speaking to Zeminar, Maylan warns, "This is not a cure, but it shall provide you with more comfort as you seek to discover the inner mysteries of your ailment."

You glance sternly at Corlyne.

Speaking to Corlyne, Kothos says, "They would certainly be more fun to consume."

Speaking to Corlyne, Meliyara says, "I suspect they are not dry enough whilst in that form."

Speaking to Raelee, Maylan says, "HARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR."

Zeminar nods understandingly.

Adalfuns gazes in amusement at Maylan.

Corlyne grins wryly.

You give a sigh of resignation.

Speaking to Corlyne, Maylan says, "Nae, I'm afraid not. The nature of the grains is transmuted through the fermentation process."

You lean back.

You fold your arms tightly across your chest, annoyed.

Yesina says, "If you don't like the grass and grains you mix them in your drinks."

Maylan asks, "Now. Are there any other questions?"

Speaking quickly to Maylan, Raelee states, "Yes."

Maylan turns to face Raelee.

Speaking crossly to Corlyne, you mutter, "As if you need an excuse to brew even more whiskey."

Missoni bites her lip.

Kothos starts chuckling at you!

Tabubu nods approvingly at Corlyne.

Speaking to Maylan, Raelee says, "Many individuals, particularly those magically inclined, do have a focus of one element or another within the body..."

Corlyne shrugs at you.

Maylan nods at Raelee.

Speaking to Maylan, Raelee asks, "... do you find that such elemental focuses can influence the presentation of such pathogens either for good or ill? Would someone aligned to water have a differing presentation of the green death?"

Missoni gazes with interest at Raelee.

Speaking to Raelee, Maylan says, "You have an excess of yellow bile in you, it is true. But the nature of your own balance creates harmony through its excess. And in turn, it is quite possible an ailment attuned to water could have devastating consequences on you."

Maylan says, "Put simply, it could extinguish your flame."

Speaking to Raelee, Kothos says, "Perhaps the different alignments would have their own set of vulnerabilities and immunities, much like individuals do."

Speaking surprisedly to Corlyne, you whisper aloud, "That actually made a lot of sense!"

Speaking to Maylan, Raelee says, "... I do carry the cure, still."

Speaking to Raelee, Maylan says, "An ailment rich in earth properties, on the other hand, would likely have little to no affect on you at all."

Speaking to Raelee, Maylan says, "And it's a good thing to, lest this magister become a WATER MAGE."

Elaejia nods in agreement to you.

Maylan shudders.

Speaking hushedly to Missoni, Peatwyn says, "I would posit a mysterious fifth humor would be required to diminish the light that is our Magister."

Speaking curiously to Maylan, Meliyara asks, "So your studies suggest that those attuned to one element may be extra susceptible to ailments of an opposing element, and less so to those adjacent to or of the same element?"

Speaking to Maylan, Raelee says, "It is not my favored element."

Missoni nods slowly at Peatwyn.

Raelee surreptitiously glances at Peatwyn.

Speaking to Meliyara, Maylan says, "Yes, I do understand this to be true."

You thoughtfully tap a finger against your lips.

Meliyara absently chews on her lip, appearing to ponder possibilities and potential nuances.

Speaking softly to yourself, you murmur, "Interesting."

Maylan says, "I myself am attuned to black bile."

Speaking to Peatwyn, Missoni whispers aloud, "It would not be so easy as a sprinkling of water."

Maylan nods.

Speaking to Raelee, Kothos says, "He uses the possessive pronoun colloquially, I am sure."

Peatwyn asks, "Oh, friend Maylan, will you tell us all our humorous aspects?"

Maylan explains, "Each balance of humors within us is unique."

Raelee nods slightly at Kothos.

Speaking to Maylan, Meliyara posits, "But even with an overabundance of one element, would not an ailment of that same element have the potential, in sufficient amount, to misalign the humors to devastating effect?"

Maylan says, "If you wish. I shall provide some samples, and each of you can determine which of those you feel aligned to based on this."

Maylan drops a vial of congealed black bile.

(Raelee calmly steps over a puddle on the floor before returning to her seat.)

Maylan drops a clear glass ampoule filled with viscous orange fluid.

Zeminar shifts his eyes to Maylan.

Maylan drops a small vial of thin liquids.

Missoni tilts her head down.

Trallihn taps a clear glass ampoule filled with viscous orange fluid.

Fehala gazes blankly at a small vial of thin liquids.

You let out a long, contemplative breath.

You stand back up.

Speaking to Kothos, Raelee says, "It is only blood."

Speaking to Meliyara, Maylan says, "Aye, that is where the balancing dance comes into play."

Peatwyn asks, "Is this another adventure born of olfactory origins?"

Peatwyn sniffs at a small vial of thin liquids.

Speaking to Raelee, Kothos says, "You are washable."

Speaking softly to yourself, you say, "Only blood, she says."

You shake your head, totally at a loss.

Speaking to Meliyara, Maylan says, "Put simply, too much of a good thing can be bad."

Riend can offer a vial of congealed black bile only a blank expression.

You walk behind a small podium.

Meliyara nods understandingly at Maylan.

Raelee picks up a small vial of thin liquids.

Speaking sympathetically to Maylan, Meliyara says, "Like when you ate too many muffins too swiftly."

Trallihn gazes thoughtfully at his glass ampoule.

Speaking to Meliyara, Maylan says, "So having a natural balance that includes the overabundance of one humor does not, therefore, make you immune to such maladies."

Trallihn sniffs at his glass ampoule.

Speaking to Meliyara, Maylan exclaims, "Quite so!"

Trallihn carefully places a clear glass ampoule filled with viscous orange fluid on the floor.

Raelee gazes at a small vial of thin liquids intently, taking full advantage of the available light.

Raelee carefully places a small vial of thin liquids on the floor.

You graciously inquire, "Are there any more questions from the audience before I send word to the cleaning staff?"

Missoni raises her hand.

You smile at Missoni.

Maylan nods at Missoni.

Speaking invitingly to Missoni, you say, "Lady Sabretache."

Kothos smiles at Missoni.

Speaking to Maylan, Missoni asks, "But I was wondering if animals have the ah...same basic humors as people?"

Speaking to Maylan, Missoni says, "Could our dear Owly suffer from an imbalance, for example."

Speaking to Missoni, Maylan says, "Oh yes. The humors are present across all corporeal beings."

Raelee glances at Missoni.

Meliyara looks thoughtfully at Maylan.

Missoni frets.

Bakarus says, "One way to find out."

You blink at Bakarus.

Aendir grins wryly.

Speaking to Missoni, Maylan says, "Indeed he could. Luckily for Owly, his dance of humors aligns with a diet rich in sugars and grains."

Speaking quickly to Raelee, Missoni says, "Just as a rhetorical example, purely."

You desperately plead, "Please, think of my floor."

Speaking to Bakarus, Raelee says, "... do find another owl for your initial experiments. I am utilizing that one."

Missoni nods understandingly at Maylan.

Speaking to you, Bakarus says, "Not the owl, certainly. Offsite. Destriers, dogs, that sort of thing."

Bakarus nods reassuringly to you.

Riend opens her mouth to speak but closes it again, uncertainty crossing her features.

Maylan recites:

   "And as a reminder, I shall remain after the presentation to administer healing to any who wish"

Zeminar writhes, his face twisted with pain as if his very bones are aflame.

Maylan asks, "Are there any more questions?"

Speaking to Maylan, Kothos says, "Perhaps if you have some nausea dispersal..."

Speaking to Maylan, Missoni says, "Thank you ever so. I am always pleased to learn more of your unique methods."

Kothos gives a sidelong glance at you.

Maylan nods at Missoni.

You diplomatically comment, "Such a fascinating lecture and demonstration."

Nalira slowly empties her lungs.

You clear your throat.

Speaking to Maylan, Kothos says, "There might be some who would value such a thing, right about now."

Riend nods faintly.

Maylan recites:

   "And I wish to extend my gratitude to the Order of the Swans as well, for their continued support of my research"

Kothos reaches over and gently rests his hand on your arm.

Kothos smiles.

You kindly conclude, "I am sure you will all join me in showing your appreciation for the insightful presentation today."

[LOTS MORE APPLAUSE]

Speaking to Zeminar, Maylan says, "Thank you dear patient. You are dismissed."

Zeminar just crawled through a wide archway.

Corlyne glances at a wide archway.

Adalfuns chuckles to himself.

Maylan glances at a wide archway.

Yunni glances around the room.

Tabubu glances at a wide archway.

Speaking lightly to Maylan, Meliyara asks, "Unbar the doors, then?"

Speaking in Elven, Nalira weakly says, "I'm going to go and take a bath after this and some fresh air... lots of fresh air."

Kothos says, "Thank you for the rather thorough lab ratting you did, there."

Sirona quietly says, "Poor thing."

Speaking uncertainly to a wide archway, Riend asks, "Perhaps someone should go check on him?"

You softly say, "Thank you all so much for coming and I hope to see you at our next lecture."

Fehala says, "I did not have a question on any of--" she waves a hand, indicating the visceral mess ruining the library, "--this. I did want to comment that those of my kinship are taught we are each born tied to a tree, a plant, an animal, and a mineral. They are used to heal imbalances in the mind, body, and spirit, and seem similar to what you name 'humors'. It is not usually such a messy affair in the Deep Woods."

Speaking to you, Dendum says, ""Well....time to go find that Remulaid and ask for another bath."

You worriedly say, "I do hope he's alright."

Speaking to Maylan, Bakarus says, "That was...excellent. Thank you for aiding his condition."

Maylan says, "Now any who wish to receive my healing hands are encouraged to stay."

You bite your lip.

(Raelee looks ponderously at the mess on the floor for a moment, before raising a hand and directing a gentle stream of water at it.)

Speaking quietly to Raelee, Kothos asks, "Can you conjure peroxide?"

Speaking to Kothos, Raelee says, "... not readily."

Speaking to Kothos, Missoni asks, "Perhaps a bit of sand?"

Speaking to Missoni, Kothos says, "Water will do well for the tile, but the furniture...maybe."

Speaking to Maylan, Corlyne says, "It was a wonderful lecture, thank you for sharing your wisdom and... the contents of the floor with us."

[DEPARTURES WHILE MAYLAN GETS STEADILY DRUNK AND ATTEMPTS TO START MOPPING]