Snarkie

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Snarkie
Town Solhaven
Gender male
Job Rat Vendor
Shop Name Rat-On-A-Stick

Snarkie is an entrepreneurial food vendor who sells rats-on-sticks from his cart in South Haven.

Description

Short, thin and with pointed features, Snarkie looks like he could be related to his inventory.  Sporting a grease-spattered brown doublet that is wearing through at the elbows and fraying at the seams, it's clear that he doesn't believe his appearance will have any effect on the number of rats that he sells.

Ambients

"Pick a rat!  Barbecued, breaded, dipped in chocolate...a rat for every taste, every mood!" claims Snarkie.

"Note the size of my rats," points out Snarkie, "they're all genuine sewer rats an' warf rats!  No cheap politicians nor empath-chasin' litigants amongst 'em!"

"Step right up!  Freshest rats in town!  Step right up!" hawks the vendor beside the cart.

"No need to go home hungry!" coaxes Snarkie.  "Hundreds of cats can't be wrong!  Andelas eats here!

"Hey, git yer honey-glazed rats right here!  Just like they serve in the royal court in Ta'Illistim!  It's a secret recipe me dod had to trade me own mum for," confides Snarkie with a wink.

"I got swamp rats, I got wharf rats and I got sewer rats!" hawks Snarkie.  "They're each big enough to feed two, but buy one apiece -- they're so good you won't wanna share!"

"Eatin' a rat the right way is a skill," explains Snarkie.  "First you suck out the eyes one at a time, then crack the skull open with yer teeth and suck out the brain.  Then you nibble the meat off the ribs -- belly and back -- then you slurp the tail in like a string of spaghetti an' nip it off tight at the butt, and then gnaw the hind quarters clean.  Then you sit back, belch and pick yer teeth with a claw."