Whining Elf Bar

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Whining Elf Bar is a food shop in Kharam Dzu. It is located in a seedy tavern on the west side of town in the Poor Quarter. It is deliciously racist against elves.

[The Whining Elf, Bar]
Woven mats are nailed over the broken front window to keep out the dust of the street. A scattering of filthy straw serves as a floor covering. Behind the bar, glasses are stacked haphazardly in the rusted sink. Giantmen, miners, and dwarves lean against the battered bar, casting a cursory glance at new arrivals. Barely visible through the rising dust and smoke is a dark curtain, over which hangs a small handwritten sign. You also see an enormous giantman.


The dwarf behind the bar snarls, "Order what?  Ya think I'm a mind reader, or something?"

He grumbles, "Here's what I have today, if you don't like any of it... Too bad!"

He says, "I got
    1. Day old bread crusts for 10 silvers
    2. A fried rat.. er, RABBIT for 40 silvers
    3. A glass of giantish ale for 60 silvers
    4. A shot of moonshine whiskey for 80 silvers
    5. A mug of dwarven bitters for 120 silvers
    6. A flute of elven moonflower wine for 500 silvers

Now what number do ya want, I ain't got all day!"


Anyone doing anything to upset the staff will get tossed out of the bar by Wumpy, the bouncer. This includes attempting to purchase a drink without enough silvers, dropping their drink, or attempting to pass through the curtain without being a dwarf or giantman.


This giantman seems more giant than man... he's huge! He stands head and shoulders above any giantman you've ever seen, with arms and legs that look too thick, even for his height. His hands are the size of a not-so-small ham, and look like they probably have all the delicacy of a sledgehammer. To top things off, he's got the face of an ugly bulldog. Not even a mother could like that face.


>kiss giant
An enormous giantman narrows his eyes at you.

>poke giant
Are you kidding! Look at the size of him!

The bartender glares at you and growls, "What'ya mean trying ta order something ya can't pay for?"
From all around the room, a chorus of voices chants, "That's three!"

With a frown on his ugly face, an enormous giantman says, "Da boss say if Zuzana don't leave, Wumpy can toss her."

An enormous giantman says, "Da boss says Wumpy haves to ask nice two times, then if Zuzana still here..." He shrugs and gives a big gap-toothed grin.

An enormous giantman growls and cuffs you behind the head, stunning you!

Wumpy picks you up and gives you a heave, sending you flying through the door to land in the dirt outside!

[Kharam-Dzu, Poor Quarter]
Clouds of ash choke the air, and the buildings here are covered with soot. Broken windows, peeling paint and rotting wooden timbers all mark the general decay. Shabbily-dressed dwarves filter through the creaking double doors of a seedy tavern, tucked back into the shadows. To the southwest, a dilapidated pile of planks serves as a makeshift gate into Pig Puddle Lane. You also see a rusted fence.
Obvious paths: north, northeast
From the tavern, a voice yells, "Next time be nice, or Wumpy throw you harder!"


In the backroom of the Whining Elf is a dartboard. This backroom is accessible only by dwarves and giants, or those escorted by the aforementioned races.


Item Tastes
Day old bread crusts You gnaw on your bread crust, but you don't seem to make much of an impression.
Ow! Felt like you loosened a tooth on that one....
How about that! You're actually making some headway here!
A fried rat.. er, RABBIT Surely that wasn't a worm! You rather quickly decide you don't really want to know.
A glass of giantish ale You take a swig of your watery ale.
Yep... tastes just like muddy water!
Yep... it still tastes like muddy water!
A shot of moonshine whiskey You toss down your moonshine whiskey.
Shuddering, you try to keep it there....
A mug of dwarven bitters You take a belt of your lumpy dwarven bitters.
As a shiver runs downs your spine, you realize that bitters is certainly the right name for it!
Hey! This stuff's not so bad once you can't taste it anymore!
A flute of elven moonflower wine The dwarven bartender roars with glee, pointing at you!
He says, "That was a joke, buddy! We don't serve any of that pointy-eared, flower sniffing horse p... Ahem. Anyway what will you REALLY have?"


A dwarven miner asks, "Why do the mines have giant, poisonous bugs, while the west side of town has them elves?"
From across the room, a toothless old giantman cackles as he hollers back the answer, "The miners got first choice!"

A giantman backs into a dwarf, who promptly shoves him back. The giantman whirls, shouting a curse.

At a table in the corner, an old dwarf snores gently in a drunken stupor. His face cradled in his elbow, his beard trails through some unidentifiable puddle on the table.

Dust filters in through the cracks in the walls, as a particularly strong gust of wind blows by. There is an ominous moaning and creaking from the walls and roof.

From out of nowhere, you get slapped on the shoulder, as a voice roars over your shoulder, "Hey buddy! How ya been doin'?"
Twisting your head around to look, you see a dwarf, covered with enough filth to floor a stable. "Oh! 'scuse me. I thunk you was som'un I knows...", he mutters before staggering away.

One drunken miner begins howling incoherently at the top of his lungs, splashing his ale in all directions. Without a word, the huge giantman bouncer appears behind him and smacks him across the back of the head with a large stick. The miner slumps to the ground, as the bouncer walks away, shaking his head sadly.
A dwarf at the next table mutters, "Poor Harry. He just ain't been the same since he was trapped in that cave-in last year."

One grimy dwarf asks a giant, "Hey, know how many dwarves it takes ta light up a sconce? None! We can see in th' dark!"
The dwarf collapses in a howl of laughter.

Outside, the howl of a dog echoes briefly, before being cut off in a yip of pain.

Two giantmen shout jokes at each other from across the room, spitting food all over the place.

Voices in the other room erupt in a flurry of shouts and curses. Nobody in this room pays the slightest attention.

With a roar, a young giantman grabs the dwarf sitting next to him, and pitches him through the window! Howling, he leaps after him.