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_______________________________________________________________________
/ \ \
| | Monster Compendium! See Page 20 |
@_/_____________________________________________________________________/
| |
| |
| GemStone III(tm) November 1992 |
| Vol.3, No.6 |
| _ _ _ ___ |
| / ) / ) / ) / __) |
| / /_/ / ____ / / _/ ( ____ __ __ ____ |
| / __/ / __ ) / / ( __) / _ ) / / / / / ___) |
| / /\ \ / ___/ / / / / / (/ / / (_/ / / / |
| (_/ \_) (____) (_( (_( (____/ (_____( (_( |
| _____ _ _ _ _ |
| / ____) / ) (/ _/ ) (/ |
| / (__ ___/ / _ ( _) _ ____ ____ |
| / ____) / _ / / ) / / / ) / _ ) / ) |
| / (__ / (/ / / / / / / / / (/ / / /) / |
| (_____) (____( (_( (_( (_( (____/ (_((_( |
| |
| The Kronicles of Kulthea |
| |
| |
|_____________________________________________________________________|
|_____________________________________________________________________|
| |
| Houses of Kulthea ........................ Dartaghan Darkstar 1 |
| Black Stalkers .............................. Kalagay Halatil 3 |
| (untitled poem) ........................... Greywulf Aliantha 4 |
| How to Pick a Pocket .............. Lord Artuero Bresnahanini 5 |
| The Price of Love ............................ Jarran Terraxx 6 |
| The Thieves Guild ......................... Kahsmire Drakkhen 9 |
| The Knight and the Lady ..................... Valeria Deering 11 |
| Pauper's All Hallow's Eve Masquerade ........... Phaedra Bleu 12 |
| You Can't Hit a Centaur? ............... Lord Certain Justice 13 |
| A Tale to be Told ............................... Eron Kulsen 15 |
| night ..................................... Trachten Hickapod 16 |
| Undermining Kelfour's Part 2 ............ Llorien Silvanestii 17 |
| Monster Compendium ............................... Xca Thedra 20 |
| Babes in Gorcland (Episode 2) ................... Dayln Grimm 26 |
| nerilka ................................... Trachten Hickapod 28 |
| School Daze ............................... Lloyd Llowd, Ph.D 29 |
| |
|_____________________________________________________________________|
| |
| Kelfour Edition of the Kronicles of Kulthea is devoted to the multi-|
| player role-playing game GemStone III on GEnie Information Network. |
| Submissions may be edited for space, accuracy and readability. |
| Contact Assistant Editor Kalagay Halatil or Publisher Phaedra Bleu |
| by GE Mail to P.HERRINGTON for details. |
| Banner letters by Yonah |
| __________________________________________________________________|___
| / /
\_/_____________________________________________________________________/
______________ Houses of Kulthea
/ \ ____ ____ \ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
\@| ~| | | |~ | by Dartaghan Darkstar
| |~|--|~| |
_| |~|--|~| | ouses of Kulthea fee, the players have to pay for the
/@| _|~| |~|_ | are Gemstone III construction and furnishing of their
\_/ ~~~~ ~~~~ / player cooperatives private rooms. Houses may also offer
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ established under engraving and loan services.
the auspices of the local government
but organized and governed by the The first House recognized by the
players. This flexible system allows local government was established by
a House to be organized as a guild a group of dedicated roleplayers who
or a social club or in any other banded together to oppose the Unlife
manner, as long as the setup stays the growing influence of the Grand
within the framework detailed in the Poobah over the adventurers of the
Tomes by the local government. Landing. Titanic battles were fought
by Lady Wisraith and Lord Riverwind,
Any group of five or more players of Lord Lythe, Lord Fxg, and their
level five or higher (characters allies in their crusade against the
must be level five or higher to be Unlife. They even dared to assault
eligible to join a House) may the stronghold of the Unlife itself,
petition the local government to be repeatedly killing the Grand Poobah
accepted into the Cooperative of the and his underlings.
Houses of Kulthea (CHK). The CHK is
a loose federation of all the Houses Finally, the Grand Poobah called on
of Kulthea. It sets standards of dark powers to place wards around
conduct and administers the system his stronghold, powerful enough to
of dispute resolution which uses the withstand the assaults of the House
tribunal model. The local government of the Rising Phoenix. In a secure
has appointed Lord Elvanion, to be stronghold, the Unlife strengthened
House Controller and to have the its influence. The House of the
responsibility for the establishment Rising Phoenix continued its valiant
and maintenance of all the Houses battle, but even these intrepid cru-
of Kulthea. saders wearied. Most have moved on
to far lands, seeking to escape the
The Houses offer players camaraderie evil they so abhor.
and opportunity for roleplaying,
along with a wide range of services The House of the Rising Phoenix has
and benefits. Some Houses have been not been the same nor very active
established to further professional, since then, but if you are intrigued
political, and social goals. Others by a "House dedicated to preventing
emphasize camaraderie and adventur- the furtherance of the goals of the
ing, and one House was established Unlife," talk with Lady Galauriel,
as a for-profit social club. Lord Maruko, or Lord Waldo2. Member-
ship fees are reasonable, but only
Probably the most popular feature of strong roleplayers with untainted
the Houses is expanded storage. Most souls need apply.
Houses provide forty - item lockers
for members. House Arcane managed House of Argent Aspis was the first
to install sixty-item lockers; rumor House to be built. It was founded by
has it that Lord Moonpie Legend a group of free spirits, among them
bribed local officials. The rumor is Lord Erebor and Lord Whilder, as an
unsubstantiated, but the sixty-item exclusive House that avoids politics
lockers have been confirmed. and local disputes. Not much was
known about this House until they
Some Houses also provide for players began sponsoring a Newcomers Orien-
to design and own a private room. tation Night where House members
Unlike locker facilities, the use of offer a training tour to newly
which is included in the membership arrived adventurers.
-1- More...
Now the House of the Argent Aspis House Brigatta was founded by Lord
has opened up a bit and is seeking Zinderin, Lady Taarna, and Sterling
new members. They are interested in as a private House to promote role-
players that will be active members playing. This House is still rather
and are here for the long term. exclusive, but all applicants will
Initiation fee is 20,000 silvers. be considered. While this House is
Talk to Lord Bleys about membership. small, it does have an earth node, a
bar, and a doorbell that announces
House Arcane was established by a arrivals by name. The initiation fee
group of close friends who sought is 5000 silvers, no monthly dues.
a private sanctuary in which to Dedicated roleplayers should get in
recoup after stimulating quests and touch with Lord Zinderin.
safaris. A House with a pool and a
well-stocked bar seemed ideal. House There are two other Houses being
members occasionally lead safaris organized in Kelfour's, the House of
open to all adventurers. Other Grimoire and the House of Eternity.
safaris are for members only. House of Grimoire is dedicated to
the study of magic lore, bardsong,
House Arcane is a non-political and the history of Kulthea. It is
House with a closed membership. They under construction, but the date of
will, however, open the membership completion is unknown at this time.
up for the right candidate. To be Thantis can give you more informa-
considered for membership, you must tion. The House of Eternity plans to
be at least level 20 and active in be a sanctuary for clerics and
Gemstone on a regular basis. You healers. Lord Sauron is unable at
must also be an adventurer, not a this time to say more about the
crusader. Roleplaying is encouraged, House. When and if the House will
but good judgment must be exercised be built is unknown at this time.
so that House Arcane doesn't become
embroiled in personal or political The Houses of Kulthea have so far
conflicts. A fondness for hobbits is failed to live up to the original
also encouraged :). Initiation fee expectations of the local government
is 50,000 silvers. See Dartaghan for and players. Early on, we got a
more information. glimpse of the potential that the
House system has as a venue for
Shortly after the House of Argent roleplaying and as political and
Aspis and House Arcane were built, social focal points. After a brief
Silent, the first tycoon of the period of excitement and activism
Landing, with a couple of silent (mostly from House of the Rising
partners, built the first for-profit Phoenix), organized House activities
social club. Almost from the day it slowly fizzled out. Most Houses look
opened, the House of Paupers has vacant, inactive except for the
been the most popular House in locker doors.
Kelfour's, with far more members
than any other. That may be changing soon. Rumors of
monthly House Challenge Games have
The House is open to all players surfaced lately. Not much is known
level five or higher. The single yet, but it sounds intriguing. There
membership plan has lifetime fee of has also been talk that the Chair-
20,000 silvers and no monthly dues. persons and Chairhobbits of all the
For that sum, you get to soak in a Houses are meeting to work out a way
hot tub while you enjoy a drink from to implement the system of conflict
the free bar. Some members are known resolution provided by the Coopera-
to drink more in one night than rea- tive of the Houses of Kulthea.
sonable monthly dues would buy at Perhaps the new activism will usher
Helga's Tavern. Speak to Lord Kirc in an era where Houses will be more
or Lady Phaedra about joining. than glorified locker clubs.
-2-
___________ Black Stalkers
o[ ________ ]o ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
| "|"|""\"\ | by Kalagay Halatil
| |"|__/"/ |
| |" __ < | lack stalkers are right arm, a one-rounder. Do not get
| |"| \"\ | nasty," lectured one carried away. Take the gift and only
| |"|__/"/ | well-meaning friend, hit once before parrying up again,
| """""""" | while I recovered in especially if things are a little
| / \ | the temple. "Their sluggish. A strike to the left leg
| / \ | hunting companions, is a two-round stun. I'm still very
|/ \| the basilisks, are cautious about swinging twice even
nasty. Their unlife neighbors, the in that case. Things get more com-
deathwoodes, tree spirits, and skel- fortable with blows to its chest for
etal giants are nasty. Why bother?" a three - round stun or abdominal
slashes for four. Bloody gashes to
Now I love hunting stalkers in good the head are good for ten rounds.
company so I thought for a long time
how to answer that question. If you It's tempting to _berserksgangen_
are not a risk-taker, if you are not when your stalker is stopped cold, I
bored stiff with steel golems, or if admit. You want so badly to parry
you truly prefer to hunt alone, then down and beat it to peices before it
indeed you won't bother with black can come to and start running or
stalkers. But you will miss out on a hitting back. What you do not want
lively and profitable time if you is for a basilisk to thunder in and
leave cavers behind and go straight immobilize you just then, and that
to steelies. Black stalkers carry is exactly what basilisks do best.
Level II chests, just to start with. Many a Stalker lived as its would-be
slayer died because a basilisk froze
Stalkers are so easily stunned that the warrior at parry 0 long enough
bushwhacking is one of the best ways for the Stalker to come out of its
to hunt them. The two of you hide stun and start taking big pieces out
and wait for Mr. Stalker to sniff of her hide.
out one of you. The other can parry
hit from ambush, and parry up again Your partner cannot help you much in
in time. Usually. Of course, the this case, because no one can drag
sniffee follows up in the usual way, you away if you are immobilized. The
parry down, hit, and parry up again. best you can hope for is that the
stalker will bleed to death and fall
While the Black Stalker is only mod- at your feet before it can actually
erately fast, it hits plenty hard get in enough swipes to kill you.
when it does connect. If you plan to The best insurance is to kill each
parry tag them, keep in mind the basilisk as it appears, even if you
different ways you can stun them and get no experience for it. If you or
how long each kind of stun lasts. your partner has a calming spell, so
The most usual stun is a hit to the much the better.
Monster Statistics
Black Stalker - level 17 Basilisk - level 7
Type A: OB = 165/90 DB = 90 OB = 70/55/50 DB = 70
THT = 65 MTHT = 79/41 THT 84 MTHT 69/66/99
Weapon - 2-handed sword/pound Weapon - bite/claw/swing
Armor - Cuirbouili leather Special attack-gaze (7-10 sec.)
Immobilize - (20 - 30 sec.)
Type B: OB = 165/90 DB = 90
THT = 83 MTHT = 79/41 The basilisk is a serpent - ostrich
Weapon - short sword/pound with punishing natural attacks. Dead
Armor - none basiliks will drop silvers and the
More...
-3-
odd useful item when searched, but eyes, and an attitude. They've got
not chests, to my knowledge. enough clout to be dangerous with a
short sword, never mind a two-handed
Stalkers are bi - pedal beasts with weapon. As I mentioned earlier, they
cloven hooves, knobby fists, red frequently drop Level II chests.
Here's what you will find through the clearing south of greater orcs:
______________________________________________________________________
|\ Map of Stalkers, Ye Dead Path of Trees and Bare Peakes of Smatoth \
|/_____________________________________________________________________/
| |
| tree bridge |
| to cockatrices |
| | |
| ( ) Upper |
| | Kaldesfang |
| .................. ( )--> swamp |
| Here be Basilisks ( ) : | |
| and Vengeful : / \ : ( )--> gorcs |
| Black Stalkers : / \ : : |
| :( ) ( ) : go clearing |
| : | | : : |
| :( ) ( )-----( ) Dead Path |
| /: \ / : go path ( ) Deathwoodes|
| ( : ( )--( ) ...: \ / | \ |
| :............:( )--( ) ( ) ( )--(u)--( ) and |
| climb // trail / \ \ \ | / Malicious |
| to \ ( ) Smatoth ( ) \ ( ) Tree Spirits|
| Skeletal ) \ | \ | |
| Giants \ _ _ _( ) ( ) ( ) |
| \ / u = up into top of |
__ | ( ) giant tree |
\_/_____________________________________________________________________/
(untitled poem)
Who hath seen flames Despairing
and loveth not the Dark? they laid tomorrow's promises
upon dry needles
wood elves amble up the trail and grief ignited.
steel wrapped in wool
to quiet clangs On the trail below
their purpose sharp -- kinderslayers scowl
the dark elf village; at scents which follow
a moment's confusion on the evening breeze
upon finding none but a young one asks:
children sleeping how --
not knowing local holidays do they not love their
young as we do?
Later another answers, No
dead parents try not to understand them
buried their own hearts they aren't, you know
but could not commit real elves like us
immortal flesh
now cold, to earth. Greywulf Aliantha
-4-
Successful Thievery: How to Pick a Pocket
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
_______________ by Lord Artuero Bresnahanini
/ \ ____ ____\
\@| +|~| __ |~|+| e now turn our For those of you who don't know, the
| |~|/~~\|~| | attention to the command which initiates a
_| |~/~/\~\~| | much-maligned, if pickpocketing attempt is STEAL
/@| _|__/ \__|_| undeniably useful <TargetName>. The thief must have
\_/_____________/ art of picking at least one hand free in order to
pockets. I must apologize that I've make an attempt. As we shall see
not been able to ascertain the exact later, having both hands free is
mechanics of the pickpocketing pro- advisable.
cess. Indeed, the following model
is most likely erroneous in several A simplified formula is set forth
respects. Still, I believe the model below. I will discuss what makes
provides a framework for understand- up the Thief's Total Bonus and the
ing the basics of picking pockets. Target's Total Bonus presently.
___________________________________________________________________
| R = D100 + (Thief's Total Bonus) - (Target's Total Bonus) |
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The D100 is subject to a fumble. with an upper limit of the number of
If the D100 = 1 or 2, the thief, silvers the target is carrying,
regardless of any other factors, possibly (though I do not believe it
fails his attempt to pick the is) modified by the amount of silver
target's pockets. In fact, the the target is carrying and the bonus
thief botches his attempt so badly of the target. For example, on any
that the victim notices. The only given successful attempt, I gain
way to achieve this extraordinary somewhere between 110 and 170
failure is through the fumble roll. silvers. I can't say how this number
A pickpocket, no matter how bad, is reached, except that it seems to
cannot be discovered without rolling depend on my skill more than on the
a 1 or 2 on his D100. target's defenses.
Barring a fumble, the two results Now let us turn to what makes up the
possible are as follows: Thief's and the Target's bonuses.
While I believe I have been able to
R = < 100: the thief fails to gain identify all of the factors which
sufficient advantage to pick the make up the bonuses, I have been
target's pocket. unable to determine how they are
weighted, so please take this
R > 100: the thief's attempt is information with a rather large
successful. If the target carries no grain of salt.
silvers, the thief will discover the
fact. Otherwise, the thief grabs a The Total Thief Bonus consists of
handful of silvers. his Pick Pockets skill bonus plus
(or minus) his Self-Discipline bonus
I believe the number of coins taken plus his AGility bonus. The formula
depends on the skill of the thief, might go something like this:
___________________________________________________________________________
(Total Thief Bonus) = Pickpocket Skill + [(SD + SD + AG)/3] + Other Factors
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Other factors include: Picking from The Total Target Bonus consists of
hiding/invisible (a bonus), injuries the Target's Perception skill bonus,
(a penalty), having both or only one his Pick Pocket skill bonus, his
hand free (a penalty for having only QUickness and his INtuition. I am
one hand free), and possibly less confident about this formula
encumbrance. than about the thief's:
_________________________________________________________________________
(Total Target Bonus) = Perception + Pickpocket Skill + [(IN + IN + QU)/3]
-5- More...
The target apparently does not have Even though Toady is only half
to make a dexterous move type roll, Ricardo's level, Ricardo is going to
so things like injuries or encum- have a hard time picking his pock-
brance should not affect his chances ets, as he needs to roll a 93 or
of having his pockets picked. better to be successful.
Now for a few examples. This month, R = 93 + 103 - 95 = 101
Remus's nefarious younger brother,
Ricardo, takes a trip to hobland to Ricardo tries a few times and never
do some "collecting." Ricardo is rolls over a 92. On his fourth try,
eighth level with great interest in Ricardo rolls a 1. This results in
picking pockets, so he has double Toady's noticing Ricardo's attempt
trained throughout his career. He to steal from him. Yipes!
has no injuries, both hands free, is
unencumbered, and will not strike Ricardo grins, and runs away. Toady
from hiding at all, as he wishes to vows to train harder so that he can
make this a quick run. someday pick Ricardo's pockets.
Ricardo has 20 ranks of pick pocket In reality, however, once thieves
skill, giving him a skill bonus of get to be a high enough level,
90. He is a common man with a 90 SD through a fair amount of training in
and a 90 AG; his stat bonuses are 15 perception and picking pockets, they
and 10. Putting these numbers into effectively close out the
the picker's formula, we get: possibility that anyone can steal
from them. Other classes may do
Total Thief Bonus = 90 + [(15 + 15 this as well, although it will take
+ 10)/3] = 103.3, or +103 a bit longer and cost more dps.
His first target is a 3rd level mage I have noticed that the way people
named Bartholomew. Like most mages train leads to the situation that I
and sorcerers, Bart has not trained can pick some people all of the
a lick in perception or in picking time, and some people none of the
pockets. However, he is a halfling time. There are few people who I
with 100 QU and 92 IN. His bonus is: miss only occasionally, and this
occurs generally when I am
Total Target Bonus = 0 + 0 + [(35 + attempting to pick against thieves
35 + 12)/3] = 27.1, or 27 slightly lower than half my level.
Ricardo makes his first attempt, and Pickpocketing is a worthwhile skill,
rolls a 32. from both a defensive and offensive
standpoint. I do suggest that any
R = 32 + 103 - 27 = 108 = Success! pickpocket also train heavily in
weapons use, however, as there are
Ricardo gets away with say 75 coins. many uncivilized and immoral folks
He makes another attempt, but he in the land who will attempt to slay
only rolls a 24. This puts R at 100, a weaker pickpocket, rather than
which is just low enough so that take the time to develop the skills
Ricardo fails to pick Bart's pocket. necessary to defeat them.
_________________________________
Ricardo moves on to his next target, / \
this time a fellow thief named | Beginner's Tip |
Toady. Toady has single trained in | ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
both picking pockets and in | Develop safe habits by always |
perception; he is fourth level, with | getting your weapon first so |
stat bonuses of 40 QU and 25 IN (He | that it will be in your right |
is a fair elf). Toady's bonus: | hand. Then remove your shield. |
| |
Total Target Bonus = 30 + 30 + [(40 \_________________________________/
+ 40 + 25)/3] = 95
-6-
The Price of Love
_________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
/ \ _____ \ by Jarran Terraxx
\@| ~|_|~ |
| | | |
_| |~| | t was early afternoon, "You know how much Lanara loves me
/@| _|~|_ | the sun partially hid- and how I love her. So, with a lot
\_/ ~~~~~ / den by thick clouds. A of work and courage, I'm good and
~~~~~~~~ cool breeze was blowing, ready to propose to her. Well, I
making it a nice day as I walked to was ready." His eyes showed his
the bank, enjoying the scenery as I pain at that last statement. With a
went. The leaves had changed to a deep breath he continued.
myriad of colors and were strewn
across the road where they'd been "I have been saving money for some
left by the wind. The streets were time, and today was finally going to
worn and weathered by time and man. get her that beautiful ring and ask
Some of the buildings were old and her to marry me. So I came to the
dirty, but many still looked as bank, got all my money and headed to
fresh as the day they were built. the gemcutter's shop. I pointed to
the ring and reached for my pouch.
My pockets bulged from the coins I That's when I realized someone had
had found on a rude orc that thought taken my every coin." His voice
he was good enough to beat me. For faltered.
once I was happy at the fact that I
had gotten at least a little money. "Vallar, I'm so sorry. But I have
money, maybe even enough," I said
As I made way up the road to the hopefully, forcing a smile.
bank I looked at it, and realized it
had seen better days. Entering, I His look left me speachless, but it
nodded to the guard, and happened to was his next statement that shut me
notice a friend of mine leaning his up.
head against the old cracked wall
off to one side of the tellers -- "I can't take your money. I appre-
the look on his face making my heart ciate the offer, but I can't accept
sink. He looked as if his world had it. I also can't ever tell Lanara
come to an end. about this -- it would crush her
heart." He patted my shoulder as if
"Vallar? You all right?" I asked. HE were trying to reassure ME.
Slowly he looked up at me, his eyes Suddenly, I brightened. "Let's get
almost in tears. "No, I'm not," he you that money right now. Between
said, his voice devoid of emotion. the two of us, we can rake it up in
no time."
I placed my hand on his shoulder and
steered him outside bank, pulling He shook his head sadly and looked
him off to one side. "Why don't you up at me. "How to tell you this, my
tell me what happened," I said in a friend?"
quiet voice. "Maybe I can help."
My heart felt as if it knew some-
He shook his head slowly. "I doubt thing I didn't. "Come on, it can't
there is anything you can do." be all that bad. You just need to
go out there and get the money. We
"You can talk to me. We're the best can do it easily in a few hours."
of friends, remember?"
"No," he said solemnly, "I'm leaving
He nodded and with a sigh of hope- here for good, going where there
lessness began talking, his eyes aren't thieves to make people's
seeming to fade off to the distance. lives miserable. I need you to do me
-7- More...
a big favor; watch out for Lanara, thing I had to leave to take care
until maybe I can return." of, and you don't know when I'll be
back."
I stood there in shock for what
seemed an eternity. I couldn't make My heart sank as I realized nothing
myself not believe what he had just I could say or do would change
said. Finally, I was able to find this. All that was left was honor
my voice -- at least, I think it was what he asked of me. So I nodded and
my voice. "You can't mean that! gave him my word.
What about Lanara? She'll be heart-
broken! Don't do it, stay here, we He smiled, revealing a bitterness I
can find the thief, and get your had never seen before. "You are a
money back. It won't be hard to do." good friend, Jarran. Thank you. I
can never repay you for this. Do
He looked at me sadly. "I know who take good care of her for me."
did it -- I only passed one person
between the bank and the gemcutter's I nodded. "But despite what you
shop -- but even together we say, I'll figure out who this thief
couldn't do it. We'd wind up dead. is, and I swear upon my honor that
At least not yet. But keep train- they'll pay for this disgrace.
ing, make yourself better, then one
day, when it's time, I'll come back Sighing. "As you wish, Jarran, just
and tell you who it was. Don't don't get killed for it." Then,
worry; you know what goes around after grasping my arm briefly in a
comes around. That thief will get warrior's salute, he turned and
it one of these days -- yes, it WILL headed for the town gates.
happen -- and the thief will know it
was me whose love was lost." I watched him go, vowing that this
would not go forgotten. With that I
I looked at him, anger barely under resolutely went into the bank and
control. "Who was it?" deposited my money, determined not
to fall prey to a thieve's pocket
He shook his head, "No, not today or picking. Then I made my way to the
anytime soon. I don't want your life temple to look for Lanara. My heart
on my hands. Just take care of was heavy with the news I had to
Lanara for me, and watch your deliver as the clouds broke and
pockets, my friend. This thief has began pouring rain.
no morals and you'll only wind up ________________________________
being another victim." / \
| Earn |
I grabbed his wrist, "Don't you dare | |
leave! Don't let a thief ruin it | FREE WEEKENDS IN KULTHEA |
all for you, you still love Lanara! | ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
Build your money up again and try it | You too can enjoy a completely |
on another day!" | free weekend in the lands of |
| GemStone III. All you have to |
He looked at me with sadness. "You | to do is have three submissions |
don't understand, Jarran. Today is | of at least one page each |
a special day for her, and I wanted | published in Kelfour Edition. |
to make it even more special by pro- | We'll even help you polish it. |
posing. But it's lost, the moment | Stories, How-To's, Poetry, etc. |
is gone, and I won't be a victim to | |
this thief any longer. I'm not | For full details, send GE Mail |
getting money to support a thief, | to Publisher Phaedra Bleu at |
especially one who has ruined this | the address P.HERRINGTON. |
for me and Larana. And you are to | |
never, ever to tell Larana about it! | |
Just say something happened, some- \________________________________/
-8-
The Thieves Guild
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
____________ Player Editorial by Kahsmire Drakkhen
/ \ __ \
\@| / "| |
| //|"| | world without morals One of its rules consists of a fee
_| //=|"| | or laws to govern each member is required to ask for
/@| // |"| | the actions of its in preforming task of picking and
\_/ ~~ ~~~ / inhabitants becomes disarming a chest. This rule is
~~~~~~~~~~~ a world of chaos and what I would call the "2-3 scoops."
self-destruction. This is the case A scoop is what many people would
in the world of Kulthea. refer to as 1 single gathering of
coins from the chest, since a chest
Upon its rich land, there are many usually has more coins in it than
different types of race and classes, that. Guild members are required to
each having its own form of govern- charge 2 scoops for a regular locked
ment to help keep them civilized. chest and 3 scoops for one that has
But those who aren't governed by any was trapped. For calculation pur-
known set of rules become savages poses, this comes to about 20% of
and roam around quite freely. what may be in the chests for 2
scoops, and about 30% for 3 scoops.
For the past three years, Kulthea Not only is this a rule required of
has had no government of any sort, members, it apparently accounts for
but instead, each person has been income of its members as well.
free to make his own rules. Lucky
for many of us, within the gates of Let me explain. the case. When a
Kelfour there are a set of laws that Thief Guild member charges you 2
everyone must abide by. But with scoops or 20%, he is allowed to keep
the laws in the town, there are also half of it, and the other half is
rules and laws within the guilds required to be put into the treasury
which a couple of classes seem to of the Guild.
have formed. Apparently, each guild
has set their own set of rules and Does that seems fair, that you get
laws for their members to abide by. to keep half the share even though
But along with the rules, there are you are doing all the work. But why
also advantages to joining the join the guild when you can keep it
guild... if you can call all to yourself? It seems more
them advantages. logical to keep it all yourself,
don't you think? Those half shares
One guild in particular seems to be really add up if you think about it.
causing disturbances in the lands. Think of all the laen shields you
The guild I am referring to is the could buy, or that special weapon
Thief Guild. It was formed recently you can save up for or that ET'd
and, from the looks of it, seems to hide you've been dieing to have. So
have accumulated a fair number of why join the Thief Guild? There
members who all possess one unique must be other advantages to draw
ability, that of being able to pick members, let me get right to them.
locks on treasure chests.
One advantage is that it creates a
At first glance, this seems to be a sense of closeness or what they
group of unique people with unique would "fellowship." One member help-
abilities who can help the lands ing another member in the need. A
alot. But why would a thief or long lasting friendship to the end,
anyone who can pick a lock join a or as long as the Thief Guild lasts,
group like this? As I said, it has or even as long as you are still
advantages, but it also has rules with them. But it seems strange to
that its members must follow. Let join a guild just for that. When
me share with you some of things I you are in the game you create your
have learned about the this Guild. own friends and group that you can
-9- More...
help or go hunting with. You and them. Your guess is as good as mine
your fellow adventurers create that about how strict or lenient they may
bond of friendship yourselves, be about infractions -- and you
especially when you find trouble. don't know any of these things until
So why join the Thief Guild? You you have already joined.
don't need them to create closeness
or fellowship. It is created even as I have shared with you some of what
you sit in the temple talking to I have learned about this guild. It
someone you never talked to before. seems like a good idea to join, so
why do many refuse or are against
Apparently, as I found out, the it? It seems that a rumor, or
sense of fellowship created by the possibly the truth has been
Thief Guild also gives its member a circulated about the Thief Guild.
sense of protection. If you like
the idea of going out hunting and One of these rumors is that the two
having two Lords watch over you, high Lords are out looking for
then maybe this is an advantage. As members. You must be at least level
I found out, the two high Lords who 5 and have lockpicking and disarming
govern the Thief Guild watch over skills. And from what I have heard,
members closely, aiding themif there anyone who has those skills is
is trouble by sending help. It required to join. First they are
seems odd to me that two Lords would asked to join but if they refuse,
protect you from something your the pressure starts. If this is
group is not able to, though they true, I disagree with these tactics
may be the same rank as you are. the Thief Guild is using to recruit
The two illustrious Lords of the membership. A person should be
Thief Guild are Lord Mikhail and allowed to decide their own fate and
Lord Artuero, and they just happen choose freely without pressure as to
to be the two highest thieves in the whether they should join. I see lot
lands. Apparently, if you become a of people who have joined the guild,
member, you are also protected by but I don't know whether they were
them from being harrassed. If pressured to do so because they
someone is found to be harrassing a won't say. This makes me wonder
member, the penalty is death. I what happens if someone changes
shudder to think of making a mistake their mind and wants to resign.
like that and having those Lords
come after me. The other story going around that
angers people like me in Kelfour's
Another advantage, I am told, is is that whoever openly opposes the
that members can borrow from the Thief Guild will be dealt with
guild treasury. Now that is truly severely. As to how severely, my
an advantage. But what's the limit guess is death. I personally am op-
on how much you can borrow -- and posed to this Guild. It is a matter
how much interest do they charge? of opinion and I have the right to
Only members know. As I walk around address it if I choose. No one has
Kelfour, I look at these guild the right to harm me for this
members and it seems that they are opinion, and if they do, they will
very well equipped, so the treasury prove these rumors to be true. A
must be generous. But as we have person should be entitled to their
learned in life, you don't get own opinions and be able to express
something for nothing. What does them freely if they choose to do so.
the guild get for these loans, what It seems that you are also dealt
happens if you don't pay it back? with severly if you try to bring the
Thief Guild down. If expressing my
Only its members fully know the opinions should have that effect,
rules governing the Thief Guild, and then so be it.
all members are required to follow
-10-
The Knight and the Lady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
by Valeria Deering
In a faraway land dwelt a noble Knight
Peace blessed the lands which called him lord
Yet one day he laid aside book and pen
Once again buckled on armor and sword
And then into the chamber came his Lady.
She saw him geared as for war with dismay
"Why dost thou bear arms and sword?"
Asked the Lady of her noble Knight.
"Whither goest thou, my lord?"
And trembled she, his fair Lady.
"There is need for me in the shadow lands
And I shall be on the road by first light."
Visions of battle and heroic deeds
Fired the heart of the courageous Knight.
"But naught to concern thee, my Lady."
"Pray do not, my lord, go again questing
Surely, for us, peace is the better lot
What good is slaying giants to home
And hearth? 'Twould leave thee little thought
Little thought for thy Lady."
"Lady, friends from afar call for mine aid
Sworn enemies doth cry out their hate
Tonight, I ride for the lands of shadow
For no man e'er escapes his fate
And so, au revoir, my Lady."
As e'ening fell he rode from his keep
Nothing would stop him, this valiant Knight
On his quest for death or glory
Not ogre nor giant nor barrow wight
Nor e'en the tears of a Lady.
-11-
Paupers' All Hallow's Eve Masquerade
____________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
/ \ ______ \ by Phaedra Bleu
\@| /~/~~\~\ |
||~| |~||
_||~| |~|| n All Hallow's Eve, plush mohair hobbit suit, some hairy
/@| \~\__/~/ | the House of Paupers hobbit foot boots with hairy hobbit
\_/ ~~~~~~ / was discovered to be hand gloves, fake hobbit ears, blue
~~~~~~~~~~~ haunted, complete with plaid pants with a bright yellow
roaming ghosts, a raging bon-fire shirt, a dark green feathered cap,
where lovely bard DreamWeaver and a forest green knapsack decora-
Oenothara entertained with song and ted with an embroidered windak tree.
story (accompanied at times by a
gargoyle), and the swimming pool was As the personification of winter,
filled with a strange red gooey lovely Fair Elf Sylvermyst Sadheart
substance. placed fourth. Her long braided
silver hair and violet eyes were set
Fortunes were told, apples contain- off with a sheer silvery veil, a
ing prizes were bobbed for, and some wreath of silver frosted leaves, a
adventurers were mysteriously trans- sheer gauze bodice tastefully dotted
ported to a strange place. with small silver frosted leaves,
silvery gauze veils suspended from a
The highlight of the evening was a delicate silver belt clasped at the
gala costume contest sponsored by waist with a single silver frosted
the House and judged by officers leaf, delicate silver sandals, and a
Lord Kirc Bloodguard, Lairaerrythork silvery satin pouch. She carried a
TykilVuul and myself, Phaedra Bleu. frosted silver-tipped wand and sil-
ver tipped rose.
Taking first place in this costume
contest was Lord Caretaker D'Bold- Fifth place went to Sahardes Star-
Home, the Dwarf Healer. He wore gazers, the Half-Elf Fighter. He
rose colored spectacles, a thick wore a mask in the shape of a
beard braided into two plaits at the snarling panther, its eyes shaped
ends, a cloak woven from numerous from deep green emeralds and its
troll beards, a moldy wolverine pelt whiskers from gold wire, a panther
overcoat, some grey sackcloth pants, suit with a long graceful tail,
and tattered rags wrapped around his clawed panther boots, and panther
feet. Caretaker pestered everyone paw gloves.
with his begging bowl and infected
us all with fleas. A truely pitiful Among five great prizes were a magic
character. falchion, a black satin magician's
cape, Eidolon, City of the Sky
Second place went to Bugg Hornwort, (Shadow World Sourcebook), Quell-
the Halfling. Hilarious Bugg wore a bourne: Land of the Silver Mist mod-
mask that resembled the face of Lord ule, & RoleMaster Character Records
Mikhail Minnehan, complete with Book containing individual character
black eyepatch and a bulbous red sheets for every RM profession,
rubber nose. He was dressed in a compliments of Simutronics.
harlequined jester's robe in red,
black and yellow, with sleeves that The contest was EmCee'd by graceful
drug upon the ground, topped by a Nerilka Ferine, and participants
jester's cap with silver bells. He numbered an auspicious 13 -- all of
found nourishment in a rubber pickle whom were simply marvelous --
and tickled the party-goers with a including Artuero Bresnahanini,
limp chicken familiar. Catrissa Dakhati, Bleys Airelious,
Mikhail Minnehan, Stanyon Sting,
Lord Gallenod Varynesti, the Half- Iliana Calmar, Gregor Deathwish, and
Elf Ranger, placed third. He wore a Alyssa Sandorala.
-12-
_________ What Do You Mean, You Can't Hit a Centaur?
/ \ _____ \ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
\@| ~|_|~ | Player Editorial by Lord Certain Justice
| | | |
_| |~| |
/@| _|~|_ | wanted to call this get spell and critical hit exper-
\_/ ~~~~~ / "GMs: The Good, The Bad ience along the lines of the ori-
~~~~~~~~ and The Ugly," but I'm ginal RoleMaster algorithms. Sure,
told that title was used elsewhere. sure the E crit we roll against
Besides, it would be unfair, some- kobolds that happen to wander into
what untrue, and possibly too kind a our path in the woods would be a big
generalization to label our tormen- deal -- until its divided by twenty
tors with. Seriously, I have en- or more. I for one wouldn't waste
joyed most, if not all of the power points or connect time to get
special events that have been two experience points from a kob or
materializing in the lands lately. hob if I could still get ten from a
The fog golems were cute, it would ghoul king, guardian or stalker.
have been nice to get them back now
and then (before the ruins became a It's not getting less and less from
dangerous place to play and get no slaughter of lower level monsters
experience). It's really surprising that's irksome, didn't we stop
that newbies weren't slaughtered by decrying the fact that there is no
the bellacorns at the town gates. longer experience in murder in
But enough of these positive com- Kulthea? What we demand is that
ments, this is meant to be an experience be awarded for effective
editorial on spell experience. use of spells. And until you can
come up with an acceptable defini-
It may only be amongst the Lords, I tion of effective, any spell that
realize there aren't that many of us works should have worth. I'm sure
over twenty-fourth level, but it's a that you will quiet a lot of
lot of work to charge up, burn grumbles with a token one experience
devices and then risk a ring to nick point per power point required for
a centaur or get webbed by a spider the spell. My pet modification
and have to logoff until he leaves would be to multiply this by the
town. Even when there are enough of level of the target divided by the
us around to cajole a priest into level of the caster (rounded up, of
summoning a mammoth spider, the course) for offensive spells and the
experience for the hours of planning inverse for defensive, only allowing
and effort has to be split six to the defensive experience for casting
ten ways. That is unless you happen on player characters; no mass blurs
to only contribute defensive bonuses on torkaans.
to the party or calm or blind the
creature to the benefit of the If you're afraid of disrupting game
entire enterprise. In that event balance or aggravating someone or
your experience is zip, nada, zero, other, consider the players who have
yep a big goose egg. invested enough to become Lords, but
who don't come around all that often
It does not seem too much to ask to any more.
______________________________________________________________________
/ \
| GemStone III Graphics/Sound Front End Program |
| ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
| If you play GemStone III using an IBM-compatible system, check out |
| Simutronics' Front End Program in the Library on page 930. Great |
| game enhancements and conveniences along with color and sounds! |
| |
\______________________________________________________________________/
-14-
_____________ A Tale To Be Told
/ \ _________ \ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
\@| ||=|=|=|| | by Eron Kulsen
| ~~ |_| ~~ |
_| |_| | wilight came early noble wedding. And for it to be
/@| _|_|_ | that evening, bring- Dagmar and Kayla! What would be
\_/__________/ ing chill winds and worthy to give to the couple? Alas,
ominous clouds from the north. Eron nothing I could give. I shall pray
huddled by the fire at the Wayside over it; perhaps an idea will come
Inn, staring into the red-orange from the gods to me."
flames and sipping warm spiced wine.
It had been an eventful day to be The following day, Eron sat amongst
sure, yet things were just about to others in the Temple, recounting
get more interesting. battles of the day, and showing off
the scars to prove them. Suddenly,
A weary messenger boy came up the a rugged gnoll came sauntering into
stairs looking worried. "Excuse me, the temple, bringing a silence with
milord. I was sent to deliver a him. He had a sturdy bag slung over
letter to one named Eron Kulsen. his shoulders and a cane which was
Might you be he?" obviously not meant to be used for
walking. His hands were scarred and
"That I am, lad. You may deliver the burnt, his skin was wrinkled,
letter and be on your way." leathery, and quite tan. He'd the
looks of a smith, to be sure.
"Forgive me, my lord," stuttered the
boy, "I have lost the parchment I Several adventurers commented on his
was to deliver you. Yet I would arrival. Gnollish workmanship was
gladly recite the letter to you." beyond compare, their weapons sought
after by all who would swing a
"Then out with it, boy," muttered sword. The gnoll glanced over the
Eron. "I'm not one to begrudge silent crowd, rested his gaze upon
another's mistakes--usually. Speak Eron, and scowled. "You, Eron. I am
the message." told by the gods that you search for
a unique gift. Because I owe a favor
Quickly the youth sputtered out the to a certain goddess, I will use my
message: "Eron, it is done. Kayla skills to make such a gift. Come."
has consented to be wed with me! We
will be married at the next full Eron followed the gnoll, leaving
moon, in the wedding glade. gossiping whispers in the temple.
Everyone will be there. Please, come The gnoll walked in silence for a
and celebrate with me and my love! few blocks, then abruptly stopped.
Signed, Lord Dagmar Istarii."
"Where might I find a suitable forge
"Torkaan teeth! I didn't think she in this town? It seems as though
would agree so quickly. I didn't the gods' directions were of no
think he would get the nerve to ask help, as usual," scowled the gnoll.
so soon, for that matter!"
"I might be able to lead you there,
"Milord?" questioned the messenger, sir. Along the way, might you be
holding out an eager hand. willing to entertain a few
questions?" Eron responded, taking
"Ah, forgive me, here you go." the lead towards the smithy.
Deftly, Eron tossed the boy a few
silvers. "No," said the gnoll, "so don't even
bother to ask."
"Now, what to get as a wedding
gift?" thought Eron. "No wedding Eron shrugged this off and soon
will be greater than this, the first arrived at the smithy, standing
-15- More...
aside to allow the gnoll to inspect bellows again. "Start pumping, lad.
the area. Mumbling to himself, the This fire isn't getting any hotter."
gnoll nodded his approval and
quickly went to work, putting his In a daze, Eron set the shimmering
bag down and producing various tools iridescent falchion down and began
from it. Among them were a rather working the large bellows. As before
large bellows, a smith's hammer, and the runes on the anvil glowed, and a
a rune-covered anvil. loud roar brought essence into yet
another falchion under the gnoll's
"Now then," inquired the gnoll,"what hammer, blinding Eron as before,
did you have in mind?" even though his eyes were closed and
prepared this time around.
"Well," replied Eron, "I've heard of
the fine craftsmanship of gnollish Wearily the gnoll walked over to
weaponry. Certainly such would make Eron, picking up the falchion on the
a good gift in these lands." ground, and handed two identical
shimmering iridescent falchions to
The gnoll merely nodded and soon had him. Eron accepted them without a
the coals white hot inside the word, and knew the value of the gift
forge. Taking hammer in hand and he had received. Then, stammering,
producing an ordinary falchion from Eron tried to thank the smith, but
his bag, he began to heat the blade. the gnoll would have none of it.
"Well, hurry with it, man! These Gathering up his things, the gnoll
coals won't stay hot forever! Grab slung the bag over his shoulder and
the bellows and start pumping!" bid Eron a farewell and a thanks.
Eron quickly did as he was told and "Thanks?" Asked Eron, "But it is I
watched the smith begin his work. who should-"
After the falchion was hot, the
gnoll hammered at the blade, chan- "Nay," said the gnoll, "Now I don't
ting in a language Eron had never owe any more favors to the gods."
heard. Soon the runes engraved on And with a wink and a grin from ear
the anvil began to glow as brightly to ear, the gnoll left Eron holding
as the falchion, adding to the two of the finest swords in Kulthea.
brilliance and heat in the room.
Suddenly the gnoll raised his voice night by Trachten
in an ear splitting roar, bringing
in a magical flow of essence that Reann's light
knocked Eron to his knees, and glints on darkened steel
brought the falchion's brightness to as I slide
that of the sun. through the trees
young ranger comes
After several moments Eron's vision crashing in behind me
cleared, revealing the gnoll sitting finger to lips does not still
back in a slump, holding in his hand hand to chest does
a shimmering, iridescent falchion. glistening sleek cat
Gaping, Eron accepted the falchion pads into clearing ahead
from the gnoll and could only stare swishing its tail
at the magnificent blade. child scared slightly shifts
puma is on him
The gnoll took a deep breath and four claws cut deeply
stood up. He said, "This gift is for one feeble steel gash in return
a wedding couple, I understand." I swing from the shadows
Unable to speak, Eron faintly nodded cat dies yeowling
and turned his gaze back to the student shakes from fevered chills
shimmering falchion. The gnoll keeping company with the akbutege
nodded and sighed, handing Eron the on trip back to town
-16-
_______________ Undermining Kelfour's (Part 2)
/ \ ____ ____\ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
\@| +|~~\ /~~|+| by Llorien Silvanestii
| |~\~\/~/~| |
_| |~|\~~/|~| |
/@| _|~| ~~ |~|_| aybe we'd better "Headed north on Andraax, that's
\_/ ~~~~ ~~~~/ go back and talk all I know."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ to the shop owner
and see if he can shed some light on "Probably headed for the gates, you
the subject," Pterelas suggested. would think," surmised Pterelas.
A few minutes later everyone was
gathered around the still-recovering A voice from a dark corner of the
shop owner, badgering him with temple spoke out. "They must have
questions. Haltingly, he unfolded been very good at hiding to get by
his story. me." A figure stood up and, throwing
his hood back, revealed the visage
"Elves from hell, they were. Black of Inyigo, ranger extraordinaire. "I
as coal and as quiet as silk across just came back from a little mapping
a newborn's backside, they were." He trip, which was not a great success
shivered with the remembrance of since I forgot to take my parchment
those dark forms drifting noiseless paper with me again, and I had
into his shop. paused at the gates to chat for a
while. No one passed us, going in or
"I told them that I was closed, and out, that I did not recognize."
Ignatius started to show them to the
door. They spoke amongst themselves "Very strange, since that means that
in a strange dialect, so I only they must have left by the river, or
caught a few words. Ghosts or else they are still in town. And I
spirits, I think they mentioned. know that the harbor master takes a
Plus an ancient word that means very dim view of people disturbing
powerful or strong. I also think one him during dinner," Pterelas mused.
of them said something about
regretting what must be done. That's "Well, we could take a walk around
when they attacked. town. Maybe someone has seen or
heard something out of the ordin-
"Ignatius never had a chance. A ary," said Aegyptia.
quick blow to the head and he was
out like a snuffed torch. I ran for If we want to talk to people,
the door and received a scimitar to perhaps the town square would be the
the gut for my trouble. The next place to start," Penna suggested.
thing I remember was one of them
hoisting Ignatius over his shoulder, As they headed west on Half-Senit,
saying he might be helpful. The rest the adventurers were halted by the
started ransacking the shop, ob- sight of a young child playing with
viously looking for something. Then a dagger. Not just any dagger, but a
they spotted the weapons locker and white one.
smashed it open, grabbed the holy
weapons, and lit out into the night. "Where did you find that?" asked
Aegyptia. "May I see it?"
"What is happening to our fair
town?" lamented the shop owner. "Why The child looked cautiously at the
have these dark ones visited our group of well-armed and, in Penna's
home and done this?" case well-scarred, adventurers and
meekly handed over the dagger. He
"Did you happen to see which then turned tail and ran out off as
direction they headed?" queried fast as his short legs could carry
Pterelas. "Perhaps it is not to late him.
to pick up the trail!" More...
-17-
Upon examining the knife, Aegyptia could've sworn I was carrying 150,"
proclaimed, "It's eog! I feel the stated the trader. "I still don't
power of Eissa emanating from it." know how you managed to talk me
outta pressing charges."
"Seems like they were headed for the
gates after all. You sure you didn't Penna cleared her throat. "This is
see anything, Inyigo?" Llorien asked not getting us anywhere."
the ranger, wondering if the man's
perception was equal to his memory "You're absolutely right, Penna,"
and map-making skills. said Aegyptia. "Let's just quickly
check it out and then move on."
Inyigo did not miss the inuendo and
replied, "No chance, music man. At As we approached the old well and
least no more of a chance than you the tree, Pterelas suddenly stopped
singing off key." Feeling like he and pointed into the tree. Seeing
had put the bard into his rightful leaves rustling with no wind to stir
place, Inyigo motioned the group to them, Llorien boldly stepped forward
continue moving. Llorien brought up and called out to the unseen
the rear, muttering something about intruder, "Show yourself, you
a new song dealing with the party cowardly knave!"
antics of a certain drunk ranger.
A form launched itself from the
The town square was strangely quiet foliage, directly at the bold bard.
with no one passing through except A flurry of vigorous activity fol-
the local trader, who seemed to be lowed as Llorien took several swings
moving rather more quickly than was to dispatch his foe. Pterelas
his wont. slapped him on the back, saying,
"Nice going, oh mighty hunter!" as
"Hold up there!" called Pterelas. he pushed the squirrel's corpse out
"What's your hurry?" of the way.
"I heard voices back there, though I Llorien blushed as he wiped the
did not understand of what they blood from his falchion. He
spoke," stammered the trader. He pretended to plant a kiss on Penna's
pointed to the north side of the cheek and whispered in her ear, "Uh,
square. "And they did not sound at dear?"
all pleasant. But I couldn't see
anyone, so I figured that it must be "Yes, my love?" answered Penna.
some cutpurses planning an ambush."
"Could you, uh, that is, you
The only things to be seen in the see...," he held out his hand to
direction the trader pointed were Penna, who saw the blood welling up
the tree in which many of us had in numerous scratches on its back.
played in our younger days and the
old unused well. "Oh, Llorien! A squirrel? Again?"
"It was probably just some children "Hey, it only took me four swings
playing a joke," chided Inyigo. this time. Besides," he pouted,
"It's not severed this time, only
"Maybe so," said the trader, "but nicked."
one cannot take chances when one is
carrying coin." He stared right at Penna shook her head, took Llorien's
Pterelas, who looked sheepish. hand in hers, and began to meditate.
The scratches faded from his hand
"It was only a prank," Pterelas and reappeared on hers. She uttered
said. "I did give it back." a phrase of magic, and the scratches
healed, leaving fresh red scars.
"You gave me back 100 silver, and I More...
-18-
"Now that the injured have been Inyigo. "Want me to airwall you,
tended to," chuckled Aegyptia, "can just in case?" He winked at Penna
we continue?" and quickly clambered over the side
before the slighted bard could
Meanwhile, Pterelas and Inyigo retort.
wandered over by the old well.
Suddenly Inyigo stopped. "Hey, look "Why do I put up with this abuse,
here!" exclaimed the stalwart dear?" He looked at Penna inquisi-
ranger, pointing at the well. tively.
Aegyptia gasped. A fine silver chain
with a small pendant shaped in "Because he's your friend," answered
Eissa's sign lay wedged between two Penna. "Besides, who would help him
of the well's stones. She recognized find his way back to town every time
it as the only piece of adornment he goes out mapping?" Llorien
that Ignatius ever allowed himself. nodded.
"Maybe they've dumped poor "Hey, you guys. Come on down here."
Ignatius's body down the well," Inyigo's voice came from the well.
Pterelas said. Quickly grabbing the From the tone of his voice something
well rope, he lowered himself hand was up, and soon everyone was
over hand into the depths. We heard squeezed together in the bottom of
him call up, "Um, could someone the well. "Look here," he said,
throw down a torch? It's a bit dark tracing around an area of stonework
down here." roughly in the shape of a door.
"This looks like it's not part of
Taking a brand from his backpack, the original construction of the
Inyigo struck his flint against the well."
rock wall of the well and soon had
the torch burning. He leaned over "A secret door?" asked Aegyptia
the side and peered down. "Ready? incredulously. "In this old well?"
Here it comes."
"So, how do we open it?" asked
"Well?" I shouted. "You find any- Penna, looking for a lever or other
thing?" means of opening the door. Pterelas
leaned over to take a closer look at
"No sign of Ignatius," answered an interesting rock formation, with
Pterelas. "But this is curious. Llorien peering over his shoulder.
Looks like the dirt has been Trying to maneuver in the cramped
disturbed down here recently." space, Inyigo accidentally stuck
Llorien in the backside with his
"Maybe you better go check it out, dagger, which he had been using to
Inyigo," suggested Aegyptia. scrape at the rocks.
"Oh sure, and get all yucky and "Hey, watch that!" the bard yelped,
muddy," Inyigo protested. But after turning around quickly. In the
a stern look from the ladies in the process of doing so, he jostled
group, he threw up in hands in mock Pterelas, pushing the poor boy's
surrender. "All right, I'm going! No head into a protruding rock.
need to push!"
"Ouch!" Pterelas stood up rubbing
"I'll stay here and guard the his head. But no one was paying any
ladies," Llorien volunteered gal- attention to him. Everyone was
lantly. watching a portion of the well swing
away to reveal a dark passage.
"In case some half-crazed robin
attacks, right Llorien?" grinned [To Be Continued]
-19-
Monster Compendium
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
____________ by Xca Thedra
/ \ __ \
\@| / "| |
| //|"| |s an aid to residents In addition, fire rats and fire cats
_| //=|"| | of Kelfour's Landing are new species and may evolve
/@| // |"| | I have compiled, to somewhat before they adapt to the
\_/ ~~ ~~~ / the best of my abil- environs of Kelfour's.
~~~~~~~~~~~ ity, this list of the
monsters that roam the lands Following each monster's name is
information I consider important. A
Although I conducted extensive re- "U" next to the monster's level
search in trying to make sure all indicates it is one of the undead.
statistics for each monster were re- If a monster can be skinned, the
corded accurately, you should allow highest price Jarek will quote for
for the possiblity that I erred. that skin is shown in the Skin
Also, some monsters may possess column. The line under a monster's
abilities they failed to exhibit as stats outlines offensive and special
I interviewed them for this census. abilities.
Information on the ki-lin dates from In all cases I have shown the base
the time it was initially discov- DB without regard to shield bonus.
ered. Recently, I have tried to The parry tag style of combat was
encourage a lich to summon one, but used to determine relative quick-
the liches at the monestary have ness. If I could not parry tag a
proven most uncooperative and I have creature it was rated fast. Those I
not been able to verify information could tag, if careful, rated medium
on the ki-lin. while those that could be hit twice
were rated as slow.
Known Monsters Characteristics and Stats as of 11-92
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lvl DB Crits CPS Speed Skin Location
Accolyte, Spider 23 201 normal 500 medium n/a st
morning star(219)
Apparition, Dark 5 U 30 normal 90 medium n/a cp
broadsword(50), word of bleeding, limb pain, blur
Arachnid, Mammoth 27 254 small 575 medium n/a st
web, pincher(249), stinger(245)
Assassin, Shadow 18 U 90 large 180 fast n/a gy
scimitar(150), weaponfire, blur, hues, invisibility
Basilisk 7 60 small 130 slow beak(45) sm
immobilizing gaze, claw(55), bite(70), swing(50)
Bear, Black 11 60 large 290 slow hide(100) sf
22/rnd disease, bite(105), claw(110)
Bear, Brown 8 50 large 270 slow skin(100) dj,c0
15/rnd disease, bite(70), claw(70)
More...
-20-
Bloodbeast 7 U 70 normal 120 fast n/a cp
acid spray, daggar(65)
Boar 10 45 large 250 slow snout(75) sf
bite(100), charge(110)
Bounder 4 55 normal 80 fast hide(90) cc
claw(45), bite(55), stomp(40)
Cat, Fire 18 90 small 210 fast claw(600) sf
claw(165)
Centaur, Red 23 210 large 300 medium hide(825) st
stomp(180), charge(190), ensnare(180)
Chieftain, Sohleugir 11 45 normal 175 fast crest(75) sc
quake, morning star((95)
Cobra 2 40 small 20 medium skin(25) gy
poison, bite(30)
Cockatrice 6 45 small 70 medium feather(35) lo
immobilizing gaze, claw(50), charge(40), pincher(60)
Deathwoode 13 U 70 small 210 medium n/a sm,ck
wind, tremors, lb(90), wbolt(90), bite(90), pound(100)
Dirge, Death 9 U 75 normal 125 medium skin(35) gy,ck
fear, calm, swing(60)
Eel, Moray 4 45 small 80 medium skin(45) ss
tusk(65), stinger(80)
Firephantom 6 U 20 normal 85 fast n/a bv,ck
firebolt(60), fireball(60), fire storm, swing(40)
Fisherman, Spectral 6 U 30 normal 100 medium n/a ss
grappling net(50)
Gemsting 4 45 small 60 medium stinger(25) mi
web, pincher(60), stinger(80), charge(65)
Ghost 2 U 35 normal 50 medium n/a ce
sword(40)
Ghoul, Greater 3 U 20 normal 60 medium scraping(45) gy
claw(40)
Ghoul, Lesser 1 U 10 normal 25 slow nail(45) gy
claw(20
Giant, Frost 19 100 large 275 medium toe(100) bg
quake, cold ball(100), immune to cold, sword(145)
Giant, Skeletal 12 U 40 normal 290 medium bone(45) sm
flail(110), pound(120)
More...
-21-
Giant, Storm 18 105 large 300 medium skin(100) cp,sm
quake, wind, lb(100), wbolt(100), pound(140), axe(165)
Gnoll, Cave 3 35 normal 60 slow n/a sh
sword(60), spear(60), swing(60)
Gnoll, Ranger 5 40 normal 60 medium n/a sh
handaxe(60), claw(60)
Gnoll, Thief 7 30 normal 80 medium n/a sh
daggar(80), swing(80)
Gnome, Cave 2 30 normal 60 slow scalp(35) mi
handaxe(20)
Goblin 2 30 normal 50 medium skin(35) gy,go,mr
scimitar(40), flail(40), swing(40)
Golem, Bone 8 U 30 normal 110 fast bone(35) dj
swing(100), ensnare(60), pound(90)
Golem, Crystal 12 70 large 220 slow n/a c2,mi
ensnare(90), stomp(70), morning star(90)
Golem, Steel 20 105 large 300 medium n/a c4,br
quake, pound(130), hammer(155), ensnare(90), swing(90)
Guardian, Cold 15 100 small 175 medium n/a bg
cold ball(100), ensare(65)
Guardian, Fire 16 70 small 195 medium n/a bv
firebolt(110), fireball (110), firestorm, swing(85)
Hobgoblin 3 25 normal 60 slow scalp(35) gy,ho
battle axe(50), sword(50)
Hound, Zephyr 24 192 small 500 medium tooth(825) st
25/rnd poison, bite(230), claw(220)
Karnelin 3 45 small 65 fast hide(25) df
charge(38), stomp(32), bite(41)
King, Ghoul 16 U 80 large 180 slow finger(100) gy,c3
fear, aura, claw(120), bite(125), pound(90)
Ki-lin 27 170 large 380 medium horn(875) mo
boil earth, stomp(210), ensnare(190), charge(220)
Kobold 1 10 normal 30 slow skin(25) df,mr
sword(10), swing(18)
Lich, Monastic 27 U 175 large 385 medium n/a mo
summon Ki-lin, blinding, uncalm, falchion(247), drain
Lizardman, Sohleugir 7 40 normal 150 fast skin(45) sc
trident(80)
More...
-22-
Lord, Wight 20 U 160 large 400 medium skin(100) c4
cloud, fear, wiz shield, boilearth, word stun,fal(155)
Manticore 9 55 large 150 fast tail(35) kf,c2
claw(70), stinger(75)
Marmot 10 70 small 150 medium pelt(40) ai
disease, bite(85), claw(65)
Monk, Monastic 25 U 170 normal 375 medium n/a mo
blinding, uncalm, dagger(250)
Mummy 6 U 30 normal 100 medium shroud(75) gy
claw(40), ensnare(10)
Nymph, Sea 1 35 normal 45 medium n/a cc
song of holding, dagger(41)
Ogre, Large 8 20 normal 150 fast n/a cp,dj
claw(80), swing(100)
Ogre, Mountain 14 105 normal 200 medium nose(75) dj
cudgel(140), swing(140)
Orc, Dark 12 75 normal 170 medium ear(55) ai
scimitar(85)
Orc, Greater 5 50 normal 80 slow scalp(45) go,sm
scimitar(80), mace(80), sword(80)
Orc, Grey 10 90 normal 130 fast beard(45) df,dj
fire bolt(45) stun cloud, mace(90)
Orc, Lesser 4 30 normal 60 slow hide(35) mr,ho,lo
sword(60), cudgel(60), swing(60)
Phantom 2 U 20 small 45 medium n/a gy
aura, shock bolt (30), swing(20)
Priest, Spider 25 219 normal 525 medium n/a st
guidance, word of stun, summon Arachnid, rapier(221)
Puma 15 70 normal 130 medium hide(300) sf
bite(150), claw(135)
Rat, Fire 16 75 small 200 fast claw(600) sf
claw(140), bite(155)
Rat, Giant 1 8 normal 25 medium pelt(25) kc
bite(10)
Revenant 4 U 45 normal 115 fast n/a gy
blur, broadsword(60)
Servant, Spider 21 202 normal 425 medium n/a st
spear(207)
More...
-23-
Skeleton 1 U 0 normal 30 slow bone(10) gy
dagger(25)
Skelton, Ice 3 U 35 normal 50 medium skull(25) bg
immune to cold, dagger(40)
Spectre 14 U 80 large 250 medium skin(45) c2
fear, wind, cloud, cball(90), sbolt(90), rapier(85)
Spider, Greater 8 40 small 100 medium leg(55) mi
web, stinger(70), pincher(70), bite(70)
Spider, Major 20 90 small 425 fast n/a c4,st
web, stinger(120), pincher(120), tusk(90)
Spirit, Tree 21 U 240 small 450 fast n/a sm
call lightning, boilearth, hues, blur, swing(140)
Stalker, Black 17 90 normal 210 medium n/a sm
twohanded sword(165), sword(165)
Tatzelwurm 3 45 small 145 medium n/a mi
6/rnd poison, charge(40), bite(50), claw(60)
Threk 8 50 small 130 fast hide(45) kf
claw(50), charge(30), bite(70)
Titan 13 85 large 320 medium scalp(75) bg
quake, weaponfire, lb(80), alkar, mattock(105)
Torkaan 1 0 normal 35 slow pelt(25) df
bite(20)
Troglodyte 3 30 normal 65 slow n/a mi
cudgel(50)
Troll, Cave 12 37 large 265 slow skin(55) mi,dj,c1
bite(150), claw(150), mace(127), sword(127)
Troll, Forest 6 25 normal 180 slow hide(55) cp,lo,go
bite(60), claw(60), handaxe(40), flail(40), dagger(40)
Troll, Hill 11 70 large 205 slow beard(55) oi
twohaded sword(90), war hammer(90)
Troll, War 10 50 large 250 medium n/a dj,ck
war hammer(120), halberd(120)
WereBear 10 U 68 small 230 medium paw(45) df,c0
charge(90), bite(85), claw(95)
Wight, Barrow 15 U 135 normal 160 medium claw(75) gy
fear, twohanded sword(165), sword(165), drain
Wispling, Dark 3 40 normal 70 medium n/a cc
charge(40), pound(35), ensnare(45)
More...
-24-
Witch, Sea 7 70 normal 125 medium n/a ss
handaxe(65)
Wolf, Ghost 11 U 65 large 200 fast n/a dj
disease, bite(100), claw(75)
Wolverine 5 50 normal 50 medium pelt(35) go,df
4/rnd disease, bite(50), claw(45)
Worm, Carrion 1 40 small 40 medium skin(35) cc
charge(26), bite(32)
Wraith 15 U 85 large 240 slow talon(75) c2,ai
word stun, fear, cball(90), lb(90), drain, sword(90)
Location Key
~~~~~~~~~~~~
ai = Abandoned Inn gy = Graveyard
bg = Blototh Glacier ho = Hobs
br = Blototh Ruins kc = Kelfours Catacombs
bv = Blototh Volcano kf = Kladsfang Foothills
cc = Coastal Cliffs lo = Lorcs
ce = Cemetary mi = Mine
c0 = Claedesbrim Cave mo = Monestary
c1 = Claedesbrim Dungeon lvl 1 mr = Mine Road
c2 = Claedesbrim Dungeon lvl 2 oi = Outside Abandoned Inn
c3 = Claedesbrim Dungeon lvl 3 sc = Sea Shore Cave
c4 = Claedesbrim Dungeon lvl 4 sf = Seolfar Straker Forest
ck = Claedesbrim Keep sh = Stonehold
cp = Claedesbrim Plain ss = Sea Shore
dj = Danjirland sm = Smatoth
df = Dragonsfang Forest st = Spider Temple
go = Gorcs
Glossary of Skills
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
drain life level drain cloud stun cloud
lb lightning bolt wind call wind
wbolt water bolt cball cold ball
sword short sword fal falchion
-25-
______________________________________________
/ \ Kulthea \
\@| |
| The Final Frontier |
| These are the Voyages of Dayln and Tapor |
| In their $5000 Mission |
| To Seek out new Monsters |
| New magical Treasures |
| To boldly Go where no Newbie has gone Before|
| ____________________________________________|
|@\ ..(music swells).. \
\/____________________________________________/
Our adventures have survived the trials of Kobland and have been hunting in
Hobland for some time now. With three years experience behind them, they
look on toward new areas and greater treasures. We join the dynamic duo at
the Wayside Inn, preparing for their next quest.
__________
/ \ ______ \ Babes in Gorcland (Episode 2)
\@| ~|_|~\\ | by Dayln Grimm
| |~| |||
_| |~| |||ayln: Hey, Tapor, we're They search the Hobgoblin and come
/@| |~|_// | 3rd now. Let's take on up with 3 silvers and an "I Love
\_/ ~~~~~~ / something else. Elvis" bumper sticker.
~~~~~~~~~
Tapor: Well, the Monastery sounds Tapor: I knew there was a reason for
like fun, but we can't swim. The us to hunt a new area.
Spider Temple sounds good, but we
don't know where it is. I have a map Our boys are ready for the worst as
to Gorcland, but it sounds whimpy. they continue toward Gorcland.
Dayln: Ok, let's go there, but next (a Cockatrice ambles in)
time let's do the Spider Temple.
Dayln: Look out! I don't know what
So off they go. Dayln gets them near this is!
the drop in Hobland with his uncanny
sense of direction and an incredibly Tapor: I am ready for anything.
accurate memory (the shift-F2 key).
With Tapor leading, weapons prepared The Cockatrice attacks (THT 99).
and shields ready, down they drop.
Tapor: What a joke!
(a Hobgoblin ambles in)
Dayln: Yeah, let's parry 0 and wipe
Dayln: Since we are here already, we him out.
might as well kill it.
The Cockatrice attacks (THT 66).
Tapor: Sure. Dayln is stunned. The Cockatrice
gazes at Tapor, who is immobilized.
The Hobgoblin takes a mighty swing
with his battle axe and misses. Tapor: Ah, Dayln?
Dayln hits the Hobgoblin with his
Laen broadsword. Tapor swings his Dayln: What!
shield and knocks the Hobgoblin to
the ground. Dayln attacks again but Tapor: Can you move?
misses. Tapor beats the Hobgoblin to
death with his shield. The Hobgoblin Dayln: No, I was hoping you could.
screams / dies. Tapor types "swap."
Fortunately, our heros escape the
Dayln: I don't believe I saw that. Cockatrice.
-26- More...
Dayln: Did you see his cudgel break? 5 gold coins and a heart shaped
locket with a picture of Elu in it.
Tapor: He wasn't using a cudgel.
Dayln: Was that Elu's Orc? It has a
Dayln: I have been pinched before hickey on its neck, so he must be
but never that hard. near.
Tapor: Yeah, and I have a new Tapor: I'll call him on Think Net.
meaning for "If looks could kill!" He may want to give it mouth to
mouth; I don't.
Finally in Gorcland they run into
their first Greater Orc. The next Gorc battle is very
frustrating. Dayln and Tapor
(a Greater Orc moves into repeatedly move into the clearing,
the clearing) and the Gorc attacks and then moves
away. It is time for a decision.
(a Greater Orc removes his
shield from his shoulder) Dayln: Look, I'm bleeding and we
must go back soon, but I still want
After parry tagging the orc for that Gorc. Let's parry 0 and move in
awhile, (and only doing about 10 cps to attack the second we get there.
of damage)... One of us will surely stun him, and
then he will be easy.
Tapor: He is turtling. I'm going to
try something. Tapor: You're right. If we are
going back soon, we can get healed
Tapor puts away his new Laen if he gets a lucky shot in. What
Broadsword and gets out his Sledge could go wrong?
Hammer. Tapor hits the Gorc full on
the chest and stuns it. Dayln The party moves east.
finishes it off by severing the
Gorc's head. (Swamp, round time 30 sec.)
Tapor: Did you see him remove his Dayln and Tapor: OH NO!
shield?
The Gorc repeatedly wallops both our
Dayln: Yes, I'm going to parry 0 heros but fails to kill them or
while we walk around, so I can hit cause (any more) serious bleeding.
them before they ready that shield. Finally getting free of the muck,
Dayln and Tapor beat a hasty
Tapor: What a great idea! You go retreat.
ahead.
Dayln: This is it, Tapor. I must
(a Greater Orc ambles in) go back.
The Gorc already has his shield out, Tapor: Ok, let's go back by way of
and Dayln misses. Dayln is quickly Hobland. I need a shield now.
stunned.
Dayln: All right, but hurry up.
Tapor: Don't worry, Dayln, he is
slow. I will double tag him! Tapor: You are telling me to hurry?
You are the one who can't climb the
Tapor is knocked to the ground, and shortcut trail.
Dayln is slashed in the left leg.
Bleeding! Tapor stands back up, and Dayln: I'm up a level. I'll try it.
Dayln recovers from his stun. The
battle rages on for about 10 Tapor: (mutters under his breath)
minutes, but finally our heros
achieve a victory. A search turns up Dayln tries to climb but pulls back.
-27- More...
Tapor: Come on Dayln, don't whimp Dayln and Tapor leave. (trickle
out now. gush).
Dayln tries and finally makes it So ends the great Gorc adventure.
back up to Hobland. He breathes Believe it or not, our heros have
easier now and waits for Tapor. decided to make Gorcland their new
Dayln waits a long time for Tapor. hunting ground.
Dayln yells: Hey! Tapor! Are you Life is no fun without adrenalin
coming up or what? (trickle trickle).
Dayln rubs a crystal amulet. Dayln ==============\\==============
thinks: Tapor, where are you?
Tapor, over the Think Net: Help!
Healers! I'm in the Temple! Hurry!
Dayln: What the (expletive deleted)! nerilka
Dayln removes and then wears his claedesbrim echos
gold ring and flashes back to the with clattering hooves
Temple. He finds himself standing in what the ...
a pool of blood with a strong ah nerika
current coming from the direction of only one in town
a prone Tapor. Dayln wades over and bigger than me
sees the stick coming out of both of I can ride on her back
Tapor's ears and that one of his if I take off my boots
legs is missing. Dayln finds that he and promise not to pinch
can't tend bleeding that severe. He weightless
forgets his own bleeding and calls jumping over falls
for healers over the net, to no flying down hills
avail. I squeeze too tight
and into the bush I go
Dayln: (trickle trickle) What come up rubbin'
happened to you! (trickle trickle). my hard highman head
she laughs so hard
Tapor: (gush gush) I had a little tears stream down
trouble climbing the trail (gush ah nerilka
gush). only one in town
bigger than me
Dayln: (trickle trickle) Tapor, you
must wait for a time when healers by Trachten Hickapod
are in the Temple, BUT NEVER TEASE
ME ABOUT THAT TRAIL AGAIN! (trickle
trickle).
Tapor: (gush gush) I am leaving now.
Goodbye, Dayln (gush gush). * * *
* * * * *
Dayln: (trickle trickle) See you * ** * *
soon, my old friend. (trickle * * * **
trickle). * \\* / *
* *\/ / **
Tapor: (gush gush) Maybe we should * * (
wait for 4th before we do the Spider | |
Temple (gush gush). | |
/ \
Dayln: (trickle trickle) Whimp! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~'~~~~~~~~
(trickle trickle).
-28-
______________ School Daze
/ \ ____ ____ \ ~~~~~~~~~~~
\@| ~| | | |~ | by Lloyd Llowd, Ph.D
| |~|--|~| |
_| |~|--|~| | ow demeaning. Here person in the history of KPS
/@| _|~| |~|_ | I sit, a product of (Kulthean Public School) #42 to
\_/ ~~~~ ~~~~ / the best education, graduate without passing any subject
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ toiling away at a but physical education. (Rumor has
cut-rate rag like the Kelfour's it the rugby coach fixed his
Edition. Little did I realize when I grades.) Captain of the Australian
applied for the job as gossip maven Rules Chess Team until he was
here that I'd actually have to live suspended for actually trying to
and interact with the vagabonds and move a piece instead of simply
ruffians that infest this squalid pummeling his opponent into the
little town. Well, so be it. Perhaps ground.
I can bring some sense of perspec-
tive and culture to this pimple on LORD STROM O'BERIN: Strom "The
the face of Kulthea. Barber" O'Berin was the most feared
member of KPS #42's rugby team: he
I've read some of the work of my was the medic. His early attempts
predecessor. Revolting. I'm amazed at first aid helped many promising
that none of you actually strung her athletes continue their careers,
up. Shameless yellow journalism, to mostly as professional organ donors.
which I will never stoop. I don't Originally wanted to be a
deal in gossip. As a well-connected veterinarian, but changed
scholar, however, I have access to professions when he discovered that
certain educational records that animals could not be hypnotized to
might be of interest to you, to wit: go out and get themselves injured.
school yearbooks that contain
fascinating facts about some of the LORD ARTUERO BRESNAHANINI: Voted
better-known citizens of Kelfour's "Most Likely to Sell His Mother to
Landing. Here are the sordid an Ice Kraal for Political Office"
beginnings of some of your more mis- by his class. An accomplished
leading citizens: pickpocket at an early age, he's
rumored to have stolen the school
LORD DARTAGHAN DARKSTAR: Voted "Most principal's dentures, without being
Likely to Defoliate a Major Land- detected, while they were being
mass" by his class. His picture in worn.
the yearbook is a blurred photo of
the top of his head, taken while he MS LOUVELLA PARSNIPS: Voted "Most
was trying to jump up in front of Likely To" by her class. Passed
the camera lens. He was suspended horse and buggy driver education
from class for turning the chemistry based solely on her "parking" score
lab into a smoking hole while trying on the final exam, with bonus points
to make homemade napalm. from the instructor for "excessive
use of the whip." Enormous weight
LORD MIKHAIL MINNEHAN: Voted "Most gain caused by massive chocolate
Likely to Succeed" by the FFK chip cookie ingestion caused severe
(Future Felons of Kulthea). His depression, which she reacted to by
yearbook picture is blank, as he was secretly undergoing a sex change.
hidden when it was taken. Most of She/he now prefers to be referred to
his school records disappeared under in private as "The Grand Poobah" and
mysterious circumstances. Suspended wears a wig and dress in public to
on several occasions for starting keep up appearances with old
rugby games with a live hobbit as friends.
the ball.
If I don't find a better job by next
LORD GILTHOR LONGBLADE: The only month, I'll be back.
-29- KEV3N6
[end]
See Also: