Pickle Fest 5118 - Poetry Contest

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by TownCrier Rovvigen Aniket

A crowd gathered in the Festival Grounds of Pickle Fest to hear individuals recite Poems for the Poetry Contest on Restday, Phoenatos 5th at 2pm elven.

[River's Rest, Festival Grounds - 23936]
Ending abruptly, the pathway spills into a patch of well-kept grass that leads right up to the riverbank, where a platform supported by massive pillars stretches over the water. A variety of picnic tables are strewn across the grass, while one central table, a large buffet, occupies the platform.


Galewyn says, "I am quite ready to hear some poetry.."

Bremerial says, "That's what this place needs... a chair or two... or a blanket."

Dolant says, "I wrote a poem."

Dolant's wings flutter, trembling slightly.

Bremerial turns to Dolant and cheers!

Rosilina just arrived.

Rosilina exclaims, "Good afternoon!"

Speaking to Dolant, Bremerial says, "I remember the first time I recited a poem... knees knocking.... trousers being changed. But everyone is always so supportive."

Rosilina says, "We've got quite a little crowd."

Dolant nervously says, "I do hope so. My first time at such an event."

Speaking to Galewyn, Rosilina says, "You missed it. Someone came in and took away a whole sack of cracklins last night."

Rosilina grins.

Speaking to Dolant, Bremerial says, "Deep breath - and you'll be fine hon."

The Pickle Poetry contest is beginning now on the festival grounds!

Rosilina says, "So, thank you all for coming, and welcome to the annual Pickle Poetry contest."

Rosilina says, "Let me get a show of hands if you were wanting to enter the contest this year."

Four individuals in the crowd raise their hands

Aurien says, "Peter piper preached a pack of pickle poetry."

Rosilina asks, "Anyone else?"

Rosilina says, "So, I have Dolant, Jersea, Bremerial, and Uriahn."

Rosilina says, "Alrighty, then. If we could all give the poets our full attention."

Rosilina says, "Please keep noise to a minimum."

Rosilina exclaims, "No cracklin' on cracklins during the performances!"

Speaking to her brown goat pin, Bremerial says, "She's talking to you."

Bremerial begins chuckling at Rosilina!

Speaking to Dolant, Rosilina says, "You're first, dear."

Dolant steps to the center of the room to recite his poem

Dolant says, "Well, ah, here we go.."

Dolant recites:
"On a cold winter day, not so long ago, the sky was all gray and I thought there'd be snow
I was not feeling well, in fact feeling quite poor, I was weak, and coughing, my whole body was sore
I sneezed very loud, 'cause my nose had a trickle, then this man came to me and said 'here, try this pickle'"

Dolant recites:
"'Eat it' he said, 'it's fresh with a crunch, enjoy it for dinner, for breakfast or lunch'
'You can slice it, or chop, or just eat it whole, you can have it alone or share with a troll'
'Everyone loves them, all manner of things, from giants to humans to your people with wings'
'From the darkest of Elves, to those you see clearer, I swear I once saw one enjoyed by the Mirror'"

Dolant recites:
"I glanced at the man, my eyes full of suspicion, trying to full understand his odd mission.
'I'm a healer' I said 'and use all kinds of potions, tinctures and grasses and various notions'

'I've healed using stems and flowers of woth, pothinir and wingstem and two kinds of moss
I've tried herbs and roots and leaves beyond number, but ne'er have I thought to try pickled cucumber."

Dolant recites:
"'My dear boy' the man said 'I'm sure you are wise, in the healing of limbs and head wounds and eyes'
'Your scars tell me, son, that you heal scratches and bruises, twitches and stitches and even contusions'

'But look at yourself, with your coughing and sneezing, sniffing and snuffing and all of that wheezing'
'You haven't your health, lad, whatever you say, you're weak when you speak and you suffer all day'

'The pickle' he confidently said with a smile, 'is all that you need to make life worthwhile'
'eat several a day, and they will avail you, to cure that old cough and whatever else ails you.'"

Dolant recites:
"I looked once again at the pickle he gave me, wondering if this was the thing that might save me
It was dimpled and green, lying quite still, slimey and briney, smelling vaguely of dill
I shrugged at the man, thinking 'how could this harm me? It's only a pickle, nothing there to alarm me."
Just to be safe, I cast a quick spell of resistance, in case pickles were bad, despite his insistence"

Dolant recites:
"He frowned as I ventured to take a small nibble 'eat it up lad!' he cried, 'no reason to quibble!'
'Crunch it and munch it and be ready for more! By noon tomorrow you'll have eaten a score!'
I took my first bite while the man scratched a bunion, I tasted garlic, and spices and dices of onion
It was tasty I readily had to admit, both chewy and gooey and not any pits"

Jersea chuckles.

Dolant recites:
"I finished it all and wiped my face on my sleeve, the man was so happy I could hardly believe
'Was I right?' he asked, still smiling so much 'no more sneezing or wheezing or coughing and such?"

I considered a moment, my hand on my chest, I wiggled my nose and I took a deep breath
The man's cheeks were flushed as my actions he watched, then I sneezed and I wheezed and said 'I still prefer scotch'."

Dolant says, "The end."

Jersea says, "Good stuff."

Rosilina starts chortling.

Uriahn says, "Well, there goes my shot at first place."

Dolant blushes a florid shade of crimson.

Rosilina says, "Mayhaps we should start working on a tincture of pickle."

Rosilina says, "All that vinegar would kill most anything."

Dolant says, "I am pleased, people enjoyed it."

Bremerial begins chuckling at Rosilina!

Speaking to Rosilina, Galewyn exclaims, "Yes, we must!"

Rosilina says, "A fantastic beginning."

Rosilina grins at Dolant.

Rosilina says, "We had a late entry, so Angellos is added to our list."

Rosilina exclaims, "Now up, we have Jersea!"

Jersea now takes her spot in the center of the room to recite

Bremerial turns to Dolant and cheers!

Jersea fidgets.

Aurien exclaims, "All bardfest 24 material so far!"

Bremerial turns an inquisitive ear toward Jersea.

Jersea rolls her eyes.

Jersea says, "I hope you all enjoy this one."

(Jersea slowly shuffles out to the center of the designated stage area.)

Jersea recites apologetically:
"I'm in a bit of a pickle
As you can plainly see."

Jersea poses in her pickle costume, a wry grin on her face.

"Come listen to my tale of woe
And how this came to be."

Jersea rubs her dill pickle costume, causing it to release the pungent aroma of garlic dill pickles into the air.

Aurien turns an inquisitive ear toward Jersea.

Bremerial chuckles.

Jersea recites frankly:
"It started with a visit to
The pickle shop in town
Where they have the finest pickles
That ever can be found."

Dolant sniffs.

Jersea recites confidently:
"We aren't just talking cucumbers
But cauliflower too,
And peppers, herring, rolton feet..."

Jersea shrugs.

"With each in its own brew."

Jersea mischievously quips, "There's no accounting for taste."

Jersea confidently continues, "I walked into the store and up to the counter and being in a bit of a sassy mood, I said,"

Jersea recites sassily:
"I'm looking for a pickle and
I hear that you're the man..."

Jersea poses as if resting an arm on a counter and continues.

"Who can supply me with that pickle...
If anybody can!"

Jersea says, "And Abneezer looked me up... And he looked me down... And then he replied,"

Jersea recites innocently:
"If you're looking for a pickle
This is the place to be
Everything here is well preserved,"

And then old Abneezer leaned in close to me to add,

"And that's including me!"

Jersea gulps.

Rosilina starts chortling.

Jersea adds, "Having put me in my place, old Abneezer advised me,"

Jersea recites disdainfully:
"Now, don't you bring your sass in here
I won't put up with it!
It seems to me, you need lessons
In pickle etiquette."

Jersea recites authoritatively:
"Be it garlic-dill, sweet gherkin
Or midget or half sour
There are some things you shouldn't do
To pickles in your pow'r."

Jersea recites commandingly:
"Don't roll or rub a pickle.
To tickle is forbid...
All this is pickle etiquette."
Old Abneezer said."

Jersea recites cautiously:
"You can exhale on your pickle
And give it quite a blow
But don't kiss or hug or smooch it.
Really... You shouldn't... No!"

Jersea shakes her head and turns away.

Jersea recites thoughtfully:
"And you shouldn't pet your pickle.
It's not a dog or cat.
And don't try to pull your pickle
'Cause, no... You can't do that."

Jersea shakes her head.

Rosilina clasps her hand over her mouth.

Jersea recites indignantly:
"Also, please don't punch your pickle
Or try to punish it.
And hitting it is not allowed,
Not even with a stick."

Jersea shakes her head, clucking her tongue.

Jersea recites seriously:
"And finally," he said, at last,
"Please, please remember this...
To lick a pickle publically
Will not bring pickle bliss."

Jersea recites curiously:
Have you any thought at all
Of which pickle you want?"

I blinked. I had almost forgot
The reason for this jaunt."

Jersea ponders.

Bremerial laughs!

Rosilina grins.

You laugh out loud!

Bremerial chuckles.

Jersea recites:
"I'll take the giant Moomph," I said.
"That pickle is my choice!"
And as he wrapped it up with care,
He said, in a soft voice,"

Jersea recites solemnly:
"Oh please, remember what I said.
It really is no joke...
We take our pickles serious
Unlike some other folk."

Jersea removes a giant Moomph dill pickle from in her ditty bag.

Jersea's face lights up with joy.

Jersea takes a big bite of the pickle. The scent of dill hovers briefly in the air.

Jersea recites blithely:
"Uncaring, out the door I went.
I should have paid more heed
But I had my giant pickle
And what more could I need?"

Jersea takes a huge bite of the Moomph dill pickle.

Jersea gazes with awe at a giant Moomph dill pickle in her hand.

Jersea fidgets.

Jersea sheepishly asks, "Ever notice that if someone is told NOT to do something, that's almost the first thing they do?"

Rosilina leans forward and rests her chin in her hand, a thoughtful expression on her face.

Jersea hangs her head.

Jersea haltingly confesses, "Yeah..."

Jersea takes a huge bite of the Moomph dill pickle.

Jersea takes a big bite of the pickle. The scent of dill hovers briefly in the air.

Bremerial nods emphatically!

Jersea recites meekly:
"Oh, I started off behaving,
Following etiquette.
But oh... that pickle was SO good
I started to forget!"

Rosilina says, "Oh, dear."

Jersea recites hesitantly:
"Till I'd hugged... and kissed! ... my pickle.
I gave it a tight squeeze.
And then... a little drop of brine
Just brought me to my knees."

Jersea gazes with awe at a giant Moomph dill pickle in her hand.

Jersea blushes a crimson hue to the tips of her ears.

Bremerial says, "... ut oh."

Jersea recites embarrassedly:
"I hungered for that drop of brine
Just one wee salty lick...
Come on...
What could it hurt?

I'd make sure it was quick!"

Jersea sheepishly confesses, "So..."

Jersea fidgets.

Jersea recites suddenly:
"I licked my pickle in public.
I know it wasn't right.

I licked my pickle in public...
I guess it was a sight."

Jersea hangs her head.

Jersea recites miserably:
"I licked my pickle in public
And the next thing I knew
I was up before the Captain
As the accusations flew."

Jersea recites thunderously:
"She licked a pickle in public!"
"Put her in the suit!"
"Hmmm... That's an odd name for the stocks..."
I pondered.
"...this sentence execute."

Jersea defensively blurts, "Wait... what?"

Jersea blinks.

Jersea unhappily wails, "I think I missed something important."

Jersea regretfully admits, "It wasn't the stocks they were talking about..."

(Jersea takes a nervous bite of her pickle.)

Jersea bites into the crisp Moomph dill pickle. It gives the loud SNAP that's distinctive of a fine Moomph pickle product!

Jersea paces back and forth, muttering something about consequences.

Jersea recites mournfully:
"So here I am in this costume,
It was either this or jail.
But I had to get to Bardfest
To tell them all my tale."

Jersea recites pragmatically:
"Thus, I stood there before them
Clad in this pickle suit,
Instead of ducking vegetables
And scads of rotten fruit."

Jersea recites bitterly:
"I licked my pickle in public
And now this is my plight.
Don't lick your pickle in public..."

Jersea mumbles, "I must be such a sight."

Jersea shakes her head, totally at a loss.

Jersea takes a bite of her Moomph dill pickle.

Jersea closes her eyes for a moment.

(Jersea fidgets and, head hanging down, turns around and begins to shuffle back to where the other performers wait. As she does, a large sign pinned to her back becomes visible. In big block letters it reads: "LICK ME")

Jersea sighs.

(Jersea hesitates. She turns to face the audience once more.)

Jersea recites boldly:
"Here's my advice to everyone
Please listen, I implore!
If you're going to lick a pickle...
Go home and lock the door!"

Jersea whistles a carefree tune, the perfect picture of innocence.

(Bremerial crossed 'public pickle licking' off her list.)

Jersea tosses the last bit of Moomph dill pickle into the air and catches it in her mouth!

(Jersea shuffles back to the center of the stage area.)

Jersea casually asks, "This is my poem from the finals night at Bardfest. The theme words were vegetable and sassy. I think I pulled that combination off. Do you?"

Rosilina says, "I appreciate the poetry, but I cannot support the crime. Licking pickles in public should certainly get your time."

Galewyn says, "Thank you for sharing it."

Rosilina smirks.

Bremerial says, "I still think the punishment for public pickle licking is severe in thhe extreme."

Rosilina says, "I'm surprised the Captain didn't wake the militia."

Rosilina says, "I need a sip of ale after that."

Rosilina takes a drink from her winterberry ale.

Rosilina exclaims, "Alright!"

Rosilina says, "Next up, we have Bremerial! Let's hope she's not criminal."

Bremerial stands up to recite

Speaking to Rosilina, Bremerial says, "The only crime is that I look so Goooooooood."

Rosilina says, "I'll not argue that."

Bremerial recites:
"My poem is entitled: "Pickles, pickling and picklesmiths are strange indeed"

Bremerial says, "Ok."

Bremerial clears her throat.

Jersea agrees with Bremerial.

Bremerial recites:
"Its strange how a pickled cucumber
Can make you shake with laughter
When raised up high with a gentle wink
And thurst vertically after."

Bremerial recites:
"Its strange how pickle recipies
That make it to the plate
Can have such great visual appeal
And a taste you really hate"

Bremerial recites:
"Its strange if told 'you're pickled'
You might also be quite 'stewed'
If you're personality's vinegar
Then that reference is deemed rude."

Bremerial recites:
"Its strange how limited there are
The words that rhyme with pickle
Try as we might for unique reframe
We're led back to the word 'fickle'."

Bremerial recites:
"Its strange that gherkins labelled 'sweet'
Can actually taste quite tart
And how large quantities of pickled dill
Can really make you... have problems with your digestive system."

Bremerial winks.

Bremerial chuckles to herself.

Bremerial recites:
"Its strange how we've seen pickled wings
And feet and even paws
But serve up pickled rolton butt
And folks just drop their jaws."

Jersea rubs her dill pickle costume, causing it to release the pungent aroma of garlic dill pickles into the air.

Bremerial recites:
"Perhaps not strange at all it that
We're actually all here
At River's Rest to relish in
The best fest of the year."

Bremerial inclines her head.

Galewyn smiles.

Bremerial says, "The end."

Bremerial chuckles.

Bremerial says, "As you can see - not profound but from the heart."

Rosilina says, "Well spoke."

Rosilina says, "And we accept from the heart."

Rosilina grins at Bremerial.

Bremerial says, "Poem composed ironically before one of the best recipe submissions ever in my opinion."

Rosilina says, "This is River's Rest, after all. Not everything is about pickles and piracy."

Bremerial says, "No rolton butt there."

Rosilina says, "Let's see...who's next."

Speaking to Uriahn, Rosilina says, "That's you, dear."

Uriahn nods at Rosilina.

Uriahn now stands in the center of the room to recite

Uriahn says, "Like some pickles, this poem is short and sweet."

Rosilina grins.

Uriahn recites:
"Possibly the greatest snack,
It'll never let you down
Crisp and crunchy, delicious munchy
Keeps cool all year round!"

Uriahn recites:
"Lick it, nibble it, sweet or dill
Each bite better than the last!
For any occassion, what a sensation,
Everyone will have a blast!"

Bremerial says, "No licking."

Bremerial shakes her head.

Uriahn recites:
"So gather 'round, young and old, and welcome to the Rest!
Take a bite, oh, what a delight, at this year's Picklefest!"

Rosilina exclaims, "Very nice!"

Uriahn says, "Quick little code poem."

Galewyn says, "He should be hired as a pickle hawker."

Rosilina exclaims, "Goodness! You're right!"

Bremerial says, "Jersea has seriously made me afraid to lick my pickle..."

Rosilina says, "I think she's made everyone afraid to lick a pickle."

Speaking to Bremerial, Uriahn says, "You could always do it behind closed doors."

Rosilina says, "Alrighty. Last but not least, we have Angellos."

Last contestant Angellos stands to recite

Angellos says, "Mine will hopefully bring hope for all pickle society."

Angellos recites:
"The perfect pickle project portains picking pickles to perfection.
Try saying that 3 times as fast!
They almost all sound with the most powerful letter in the alphabet!

If you were to stack the pickles to the sky,
Some say you'd reach heaven, as if pickles could fly."

Rosilina says, "They can if you throw them."

Uriahn says, "Or launch them from the catapult."

Rosilina starts chortling.

Angellos recites:
"Why not become a cook?
You need never hunger, you look years younger.
Just look at that face!
How could anyone say "no" to that face?
That face alone could sell 1 million plus pickles."

Bremerial says, "A million pickles ... oh my."

You softly say, "Thats a lot of licking."

You quickly duck to the side and out of the way.

Bremerial starts chuckling at you!

Jersea says, "Well.. you'd be well preserved."

Jersea ponders.

Angellos starts chuckling at you!

Angellos recites:
"So now I've told you about my pickle enhancement,
Easily mistaken for an enchantment."

Galewyn smiles.

Angellos says, "The end."

Rosilina says, "Well written and spoken everyone."

Rosilina says, "Let's give all our poets another round of applause."

Regwen's fashionably late entry

Rosilina says, "Pickle poetry never disappoints."

Regwen asks, "Am I too late for the poetry?"

Speaking to Regwen, Aurien says, "They just wrapped up was about 5 or 6 all told."

Rosilina asks, "Did you want to be in the contest?"

Rosilina peers quizzically at Regwen.

Speaking to Regwen, Jersea asks, "More pickle poetry?"

Regwen says, "I have one, if ye have time."

Aurien exclaims, "Let her perform!!"

Rosilina asks, "Any of the contestants mind?"

Bremerial says, "Happy to hear another poem..."

Angellos says, "Don't mind."

Dolant says, "I have no objection."

Bremerial nods at Rosilina.

Speaking to Regwen, Rosilina says, "Looks like we have time, then. The stage is yours."

Rosilina grins.

Jersea winks at Dolant.

Speaking to Regwen, Bremerial says, "Made a mess of my scrolls though."

Regwen's eyes twinkle with merriment as she playfully drops into a quick curtsy, letting out a soft giggle as she rises.

Regwen proudly says, "I call this "Ode to Nichols' Pickle."

Regwen grins.

Bremerial turns an inquisitive ear toward Regwen.

Regwen recites theatrically:
"There once was a great wizard, Nichol
Who sought to magically enhance the pickle
Saying, "Doubters take care
I'll do it with flair!
Tis a potion with which I must fiddle.""

Regwen recites sadly:
"Nichols' first batch was a horrible fizzle
The pickle oh how it did jiggle
He thought, "I'll need some more dill
and more alum still
and I need to clean up this gray sticky dribble.""

Regwen cringes.

Regwen recites sagely:
"Saying, "More magic I'll add, just a little
And maybe some green froggie spittle
And a wing of a bat
I'll throw in the vat
The steam will make my bushy eyebrows sizzle.""

Regwen recites triumphantly:
""Behold!" he exclaimed, "I've the perfect pickle!
About that even my good-wife won't quibble."
To the Landing I'll go
With the pickle in tow
There a sample fine Helga will nibble.""

Bremerial winces.

(Regwen leans over with a conspiritoral look.)

Regwen casts a bemused glance around the area.

Regwen confidentially says, "He had a thing for Helga."

Regwen says, "Yeah, I know."

Bremerial chuckles.

Regwen shakes her head.

Bremerial says, "Doesnt everyone."

Regwen recites amusedly:
"At first sight, Helgas patrons did whistle
Yes,even the barmaids did giggle
A display he had made
And gave it a wave
This surely will make taste buds wiggle!""

Rosilina says, "No, no they don't."

Regwen recites:
"With Helga our alchemist did niggle
Over the price of his perfect pickle
Helga said,"For a pickle this size
I'll pay twice your price!
Then the next batch could you possibly tripple?""

Regwen recites dramatically:
"Now they must use a sickle
To slice up just one of his pickles
For pickles that large
Each comes on a barge
Now River Rest is so proud of thier Nichol"

Regwen drops into a deep curtsy, moving smoothly as her arms sweep grandly to her sides.

Rosilina exclaims, "That's a big pickle!"


Speaking softly to Regwen, you say, "Remember to lick your pickle."

Speaking to you, Regwen says, "Always."

Regwen nods sagely to you.

Speaking to Regwen, Bremerial exclaims, "Its a trap!"

Rosilina says, "Alright, folks."

Rosilina says, "I think we had more contestants this year than we've had in a while."

Rosilina says, "So, it made this a difficult choice because no pickle poem is a bad pickle poem."

Rosilina says, "So, thank you all again for entering."

Rosilina exclaims, "With that said!"

Galewyn says, "Every poem was fun to hear."

Rosilina exclaims, "In third place, with the clever code poem is Uriahn!"

Rosilina says, "Very tricksy. I liked it."

Uriahn exclaims, "Thank you!"

Rosilina exclaims, "In second place for the poem and for giving me an idea for a pickle brine tincture, we have Dolant!"

Galewyn says, "It should cure all that ails one."

Dolant smiles.

Galewyn nods at Rosilina.

Rosilina says, "Cure ya or kill ya, as they say."

Speaking to Dolant, Bremerial says, "Your first submission - very well done - GOTTA submit next year and surpass yourself."

Galewyn says, "And a stunning bite."

Bremerial turns to Dolant and cheers!

Galewyn grins.

Rosilina exclaims, "And in first place we have the criminal element, Jersea in first place!"

Uriahn exclaims, "Everyone lick the winner!"

Rosilina nods at Jersea.

Speaking to Rosilina, Bremerial says, "Any poem that can amuse and also put the fear of the Huntress in me HAS to be the winner."

Aurien exclaims, "Lets see a pickle Curtsy!"

Rosilina says, "Well done everyone."

Bremerial says, "Well done Jerea.."

Rosilina says, "If the winners could just step closer for a moment."

Galewyn says, "Thank you everyone who competed. It was a treat to hear."