Kobold Song/Performance

• This is the actual original performance of The Kobold Song.

Dremerie smiles as she reaches into her satchel pulling out a pile of papers and drops them into her purple hat. She shakes the hat a few times, then reaches in and stirs the papers thoroughly.

(Dremerie pulls out one paper covered in sand and seaweed.)

Dremerie says, "Definitely a River's Rester."

Dremerie says, "All this sand..."

(Dremerie opens the paper carefully, sand spilling from the paper to the stage.)

Dremerie recites:

And the first one to perform tonight is:

JERSEA!

(Stalvos takes Jersea by the hand and escorts her to the stage, lifting her up onto it.)

Jersea smiles at Stalvos and thanks him for his assistance.

Jersea smiles and greets the judges.

Jersea sets up a slim copper music stand.

Jersea puts a tankard of Winterberry Ale on a slim copper music stand that is on the ground.

Jersea grins.

Jersea removes a beribboned feather trimmed tambourine rimmed with bright silver bells from in her turquoise music satchel.

Jersea puts a beribboned feather trimmed tambourine rimmed with bright silver bells on a slim copper music stand that is on the ground.

Jersea smiles as she steps out to face the audience.

Jersea grins.

Jersea says, “Stalvos brought some appropriate refreshments to pass out after the performance. But you have to wait.”

Jersea nods.

Jersea grins.

Jersea says, "The tale you are about to hear is a true event. It happened quite some time back in the town of River's Rest."

Jersea ponders.

Jersea says, "A few facts to note. Citizens of River's Rest love their Winterberry Ale. Winterberry Ale can be bought at the bar in the Stone Eye. Byron is the bartender at the Stone Eye. Though he is a mongrel kobold, we generally don't hold that against him. He's really a decent sort of fellow. But he's had his moments..... as you shall see."

You nod.

Jersea says, "Lastly, and most important item to note...."

Jersea exclaims, "DON'T mess with our Ale!"

Jersea grins impishly.

Jersea removes a feather-trimmed fir harp from in her turquoise music satchel.

Jersea plucks the strings of her harp, carefully checking the tone. The string makes a dull *thud* as she releases it.

Jersea says, "Hmmmm."

Jersea sings softly, “Me me me me”

Jersea coughs.

Jersea puts a feather-trimmed fir harp in her turquoise music satchel.

Jersea removes a beribboned feather trimmed tambourine rimmed with bright silver bells from on a slim copper music stand.

Jersea slowly raises her tambourine and begin to tap out a slow, soothing beat.

Jersea recites thoughtfully:

“Nothing unusual about that day

Some folk at work and some at play

Though it certainly didn't end that way

When the kobolds came to town.”

(Jersea nods to the audience.)

Jersea sings quietly:

“I don't know who spotted them first

They sorta came in a giant burst

But folks just chuckled "This isn't the worst!"

When the kobolds came to town.”

Jersea weaves her tambourine's soft rhythm with intricate flourishes and a dash of drama.

Jersea sings powerfully:

“Swinging away with all their might

Mongrel kobolds put up a fight

Time to clear the town of this crazy blight

Of kobolds that came to town"

Jersea nods.

Jersea buildsa dizzying rhythm with hermbourine, all quick breaths and fluttering pulses as the beat escalates.

Jersea recites excitedly:

“But what they were swinging caught the eye

"Ale abuse!" went up the cry!

"Today these critters are going to die!"

Those kobolds that came to town”

Jersea removes a tankard of Winterberry Ale from on a slim copper music stand.

Jersea gazes thoughtfully at her Winterberry Ale.

Cleverly using hands, elbows, shoulders, hips and feet to create a dizzying rhythm, Jersea is fairly dancing with her tambourine!

Jersea sings raucously:

“Seems the kobolds were making quite merry

Swinging those bottles of Winterberry

Still, all in all, they weren't very scary

Mongrel kobolds that came to town”

Jersea sings raucously:

“They'd take a swig then swing away

These mongrel kobolds couldn't stay

We'd have to clear them from the way

Nasty kobolds that came to town”

Jersea raises her Winterberry Ale in a toast!

Jersea takes a drink from her Winterberry Ale.

Jersea weaves her tambourine's soft rhythm with intricate flourishes and a dash of drama.

Jersea sings rhythmically:

"So one by one we took them out

Some by sword and some by shout

And saved the Ale for the end of the bout

With the kobolds that wandered the town"

Jersea continues deftly measuring a rhythm with her tambourine.

Jersea raises her Winterberry Ale in a toast!

Jersea lets loose with a shout of exultation!

Jersea exclaims, "To us!"

Jersea takes a drink from her Winterberry Ale.

Jersea completes the last beat with a flourish, lowering her tambourine.

Jersea puts a beribboned feather trimmed tambourine rimmed with bright silver bells on a slim copper music stand that is on the ground.

Jersea recites wistfully:

What happened next caused much dismay

The bottles were fragile and crumbled away

And many folk were heard to say

Blast those kobolds that came to town

Jersea glances at the Winterberry Ale in her hand.

Jersea sobs.

Jersea sings mournfully:

Shoddy workmanship caused much distress

And broken glass made quite a mess

But where the Ale'd come from was anyone's guess

Did the kobolds find it in town?

Jersea gazes thoughtfully at her Winterberry Ale.

Jersea ponders.

Jersea sings shrilly:

Suspicious thoughts ran wild and free

More kobolds joined in the melee

"Save one to talk!" was the decree

Of the kobolds that came to town

Jersea smiles maniacally as she clutches her tambourine and shakes it wildly.

Jersea marches back and forth, sharply turning at the end of each stride.

Jersea recites frustratedly:

Drunken kobolds wandered the town

Drinking the Ale we couldn't down

All we now could do was frown

At the kobolds that came to town

Jersea frowns at a tankard of Winterberry Ale.

Jersea grumbles.

Jersea recites sarcastically:

"Bribery and negotiation

Cannot change the situation

It's only leading to frustration!

At the kobolds that came to town"

Jersea impatiently stamps her feet.

Jersea growls ferociously!

Jersea sings powerfully:

"Then one of the kobolds did start to speak

And his words were rather bleak

It made those listening want to shriek

At thieving kobolds in our town"

Jersea looks at the Ale and shrieks at the top of her lungs.

Jersea sings resoundingly:

""We have crates of this stuff. It good" said he

"We need more " Well it's not going to be!

We don't share our Winterberry

Not with kobolds who raid the town"

Jersea’s jaw drops.

Jersea exclaims, "Never!"

Jersea raises her fist in a display of defiance.

Jersea recites tersely:

"Interrogations then began

To find their Ale was our plan

But then that kobold made his stand

On why the kobolds came to town"

Jersea paces back and forth, muttering something about kobolds.

Jersea sings resonantly:

""Now we take her ale and leave"

Such boldness we could not believe

What trick could he have up his sleeve?

That kobold in our town"

Jersea blinks in puzzlement at her own condition.

Jersea sings resoundingly:

"So while we all stand there arguing

"Take it all home!" from that kobold rings

Is it possible we heard such a thing?

Bold kobold in our town"

(Jersea laughs aloud at the idea that a mongrel kobold could command such a thing.)

Jersea throws back her head and roar with laughter!

Jersea pauses in place for a moment, trying to decide which way to go.

Jersea recites quickly:

"Wait just a minute.. They wouldn't try

The cry went up "To the Stone Eye"

"Defend the Ale!" was our cry.

From the kobolds that came to town"

Jersea sings hurriedly:

"With fear we hurry on our way

Race to the bar with no delay

They surely cannot get away

The kobolds that came to town"

Jersea paces back and forth.

(Jersea mimics climbing the steps to the Stone Eye.)

Jersea recites gravely:

"At the bar, we ask Byron "How's the Ale?"

That mongrel kobold looks rather pale

Replies "They took it all!" and begins to wail

Horrible kobolds that came to town"

Jersea blinks in puzzlement at her own condition.

Jersea cries loudly, wailing as the tears flow like a river.

Jersea exclaims, "Noooooooo!"

Jersea recites frustratedly:

"In disbelief we drop our jaws

His answer gives us all a pause

All our Ale is in the claws

Of the kobolds that came to town?"

Jersea feels a bit weak in the knees and finds herself wobbling.

Jersea gulps.

Jersea stares at her Winterberry Ale.

Jersea hangs her head.

Jersea recites spitefully:

"If kobolds want Ale they should have to pay

But Byron, that coward, got out of the way

He's really not popular at all today

Except with the kobolds that raided the town"

(Jersea pounds one of her fists into the other, and stares of into space remembering.)

Jersea removes a beribboned feather trimmed tambourine rimmed with bright silver bells from on a slim copper music stand.

Jersea tests her tambourine with a gentle thump, then raises her head with a smile and begins a rapid beat.

Jersea sings thunderously:

"A raiding party quickly forms

As some at Byron yell and storm

"How could you!" "Is this the norm?"

Traitor kobold in our town"

Holding the tambourine lightly in her hand, Jersea builds a rapid rhythm, rising and falling with drama and emotion.

Jersea sings shriekingly:

"We travel to the mongrels home

And the hallways thoroughly comb

Looking for kobolds who possibly roam

The drunk kobolds that came from our town"

With small, deft movements of her wrist and arm, Jersea shapes a rapid beat with her tambourine.

Jersea sings grimly:

"Empty-handed we return

There wasn't much that we did learn

We return with great concern

Are the kobolds still in town?"

The air suddenly stills as Jersea halts her whirling rhythm as suddenly as she began, silencing her tambourine.

Jersea recites exasperatedly:

"Much discussion then ensues

About what happened to the booze

But we are greeted with the news

That kobold is back in town"

Jersea paces back and forth, muttering something about kobolds.

Jersea sings snidely:

"He's back in town to tease and taunt

And for us his antics flaunt

But our ale is what we want

From that kobold in our town"

Jersea snorts a derisive laugh, sneering in mockery.

Jersea sings pleadingly:

"We beg and plead to no avail

Then we rant and rave and rail

At that kobold who laughs and heads down the trail

That kobold who came to our town"

Jersea stares at nothing in particular.

Jersea recites hopefully:

"Back to the Eye and Byron and questions

Hopefully he has some suggestions

Maybe a place those kobolds did mention

The kobolds that came to town"

Jersea feels that nervous twitch starting up again.

Jersea sigh.

Jersea sings jauntily:

"At least there's still some ale to buy

Though that keg on tap will soon go dry

It is the last of our ale supply

Thanks to kobolds who raided the town"

Jersea says, "Might as well make the best of a bad thing."

Jersea shrugs.

Jersea takes a drink from her Winterberry Ale. Nice.

Jersea sings rollickingly:

"The whole town goes on a buying spree

Stocking up on winterberry

And complaining drunkenly

About the kobolds that came to town"

Jersea takes a drink from her Winterberry Ale. Ah! Refreshing, indeed!

Jersea hiccups.

Jersea sings soulfully:

"Then the last of the ale has finally sold

One wonders what horrors will now unfold

The Rest gone dry should be a sight to behold

Shame on the kobolds who came to town"

Jersea takes a drink from her Winterberry Ale. Ah! Refreshing, indeed!

Jersea takes a drink from her Winterberry Ale. That was the last drop.

Jersea starts to cry all over the place.

Jersea recites sheepishly:

"Byron says with much chagrin

"Nine days 'til the next shipments in"

He shoud'na let those kobolds win

The kobolds who came to town"

Jersea grins drunkenly.

Jersea shakes her head, clucking her tongue.

Jersea sings moaningly:

"Nine days! Let's hope he cannot count

Please! Someone an expedition mount

To bring Ale.. and kobolds to account

Those kobolds who came to town"

Jersea falls to her knees and begins to grovel desperately.

Jersea sings mournfully:

"Nine days! How can we e're survive

No one will be left alive!

Through soberness we'll have to strive

Because kobolds came to town!"

Jersea hangs her head.

Jersea begs, doing her best to look very thirsty.

Jersea sings pleadingly:

"So beware my friends if you should see

A kobold enter merrily

Give heed and listen to my plea

Keep kobolds from coming to town!"

Jersea stands back up.

Jersea curtsies.

Jersea removes a tankard of Winterberry Ale from in her turquoise music satchel.

Jersea raises her Winterberry Ale in a toast!

Jersea recites:

”To Winterberry!"

Jersea lets out a cheer!