Landing Events - 2022-01-12 - Spitballing to Slim Down and Feel Gate (log)

Lormesta 12-13, 5122

by Leafiara Autumnwind of the TownCrier

Summary

Lich King Barnom Slim comes to the Wehnimer's Landing graveyard to invite its undead denizens to Lich's Landing. However, after discovering that it takes longer than he'd like for them to push the gate open, he concocts a solution to make it budge more easily in the future--for him or anyone else!

[Translation: Pushing it takes less time than before (even a single character who's not especially strong should need less than 30 seconds), there's no more RT from exerting yourself after you're done pushing the gate and STOP, and bugs were fixed regarding the gate closing too quickly after being bashed open and characters still being considered as pushing the gate after going through it.]

Log

Barring Barnom

[Frith's Inn, Main Saloon]

Drawn by the aroma of good food and strong drink, you enter the main saloon. The innkeeper presides merrily, ensuring everyone gets a share of attention from the pretty serving wenches and the handsome lad behind the bar. Long benches and rectangular tables seat high-spirited patrons. You also see a cozy booth and some swinging doors.

[General] Barnom exclaims, "So pesky!"

[General] Leafiara curiously asks, "What's pesky?"

[Town Square Central]

This is the heart of the main square of Wehnimer's Landing. The impromptu shops of the bazaar are clustered around this central gathering place, where townsfolk, travellers, and adventurers meet to talk, conspire or raise expeditions to the far-flung reaches of Elanith. At the north end, an old well, with moss-covered stones and a craggy roof, is shaded from the moonlight by a strong, robust tree. The oak is tall and straight, and it is apparent that the roots run deep. You also see a pale-faced coppery barn owl that is flying around, a dark-haired half-elven priestess, a cup of woodmaster whiskey, the jet-sheened Kayani disk festooned with grave blossoms, an amber-eyed tawny range wolf, the Matej disk, the Olforth disk, the Warrden disk, an arctic wolf, the Loggor disk, the white Willm disk, the Eastyn disk, the Elanthil disk, a gargantuan cloudy grey tiger, the Grike disk, the Stormyrain disk, the Asben disk, a large acorn, a buttered herb biscuit, an ethereal air wyrdling, a large acorn, some golden brown elven waybread, a miniature pure milk chocolate egg, a large acorn, a large acorn, a small bottle of milk, a mistwood serving cart with some stuff on it, a round silver-banded barrel, an herbal remedy donation bin and some wide stone benches with some stuff on it.

Also here: Town Councilor Leafiara, Ramael, Lady Kayani, Matej who is sitting, Olforth who is sitting, Berador, Warrden, Loggor, Willm, Lord Zolis, Eastyn, High Lord Elanthil, Jaffrey, Grike who is sitting, Stormyrain, Lord Asben

Stormyrain says, "The one and only..Lich King."

Grike says, "Isn't that... unpleasant."

Speaking quietly to Matej, Olforth says, "I need to go to Zul Logoth again and visit our grandmaster."

[General] Barnom exclaims, "I mean, how rude can they really be. I just want to get in more quickly to offer some a new home!"

[General] Leafiara curiously asks, "Who's the they here?"

[General] Pietra asks, "Offer whom?"

[General] Barnom asks, "Do they not know who I am?"

Speaking wryly to Pietra, Leafiara says, "He's not the best with clarity."

Speaking to Earthdiver, Asben says, "Feed your horse."

Leafiara opines, "Might be the best with sugar cookies, though."

Speaking to Earthdiver, Asben says, "You're going to kill him."

Speaking to Leafiara, Pietra says, "I noticed."

[General] Daeliera thinks, "I know who you are. You should be dead."

Earthdiver says, "Desert horse."

Earthdiver says, "Don't need that one."

Speaking to Leafiara, Pietra says, "Where... should What is going on."

Speaking to Earthdiver, Asben says, "I know."

Speaking gratefully to Asben, Kippe says, "Perfect."

[General] Barnom thinks, "Roses are red, tunics are fitted. This gate is so pesky, it's all green and pitted."

Speaking to Pietra, Leafiara admits, "Beats me."

Leafiara suddenly says, "Oh, he's talking about the guards or something."

[General] Grike thinks, "...don't quit your day job."

Leafiara exclaims, "To the gates!"

[spoiler: he's not at the gates and Leafi quickly returns]

Earthdiver says, "Hm."

Leafiara surprisedly says, "Oh, I'm wrong."

Speaking to Leafiara, Stormyrain says, "I would wager the cemetary gates or the gates to Lich's landing."

[General] Yardie asks, "Liches rhyme now?"

Speaking to Leafiara, Pietra says, "You're neer wrong. Just misunderstood."

Speaking understandingly to Stormyrain, Leafiara says, "Ohhh."

Speaking to Stormyrain, Pietra asks, "Wouldn't you think the gates to his landing?"

[General] Directed amusedly to Yardie, Leafiara asks, "How are you still new around here?"

Pietra recites:

"Join Leafiara!"

Stormyrain asks, "They're not green and pitted?"

Elanthil asks, "Whats happening?"

Leafiara recites:

"Moving for the graveyard shortly!"

Speaking to Pietra, Stormyrain says, "Oh, I said that yes. Lich's Landing."

Leafiara recites:

"Join up!"

[General] Leafiara assures, "We'll be along soon."

[General] Directed plainly to Leafiara, Yardie thinks, "I keep my nose clean."

Speaking to Stormyrain, Pietra says, "Exactly that."

Speaking amiably to Roelon, Leafiara exclaims, "Ah, congratulations!" [he'd been one of the winners of the recent Icemule town council election]

[General] Directed dubiously to Yardie, Leafiara thinks, "Uh-huh."

[travel]

Pietra recites:

"Join Leafiara!"

Speaking deeply to Leafiara, Roelon exclaims, "Ah thank ye!"

[Focused] Ycelacie confusedly asks, "Is Barnom holding an audience?"

Speaking to Asben, Pietra says, "I gotta work on my timing."

[Courtyard]

A well maintained and healthy garden occupies the entirety of the courtyard. The air here is cool and crisp, but the bulk of the monastery shelters you from wind and makes the air bracing instead of chilling. In the center of the garden is a natural spring bubbling up several inches above the surface of the encircling pool of crystal clear water. A large stone and iron gate blocks the entrance to the monastery flanked by a statue of a woman carrying a crystal staff and a set of crystalline keys facing a second statue of a kneeling young man bedecked in battle-worn black chain armor. You also see a large fel tree and a scorched black marble bench with some stuff on it.

Speaking to Roelon, Stormyrain offers, "Congratulations are in order I hear?"

[General] Directed worriedly to Leafiara, Yardie thinks, "I do. I'm not looking to get sold."

Roelon deeply says, "So it seems."

Your surroundings blur into a white fog . . .

[Graveyard]

You pause inside the gates to survey the eerie scene. A magnificently crafted granite crypt to the north inspires wonder and loathing. The carvings on the facade are horrific, detailing the onslaughts of the Unlife throughout the chaotic history of Elanthia. A gravel path wraps around the structure, while thorny brambles growing among the tombstones deter you from leaving the paved route. You also see a goblin, a skeleton, a skeleton, a lesser ghoul, a dagger, some light leather, a flail and some light leather.

[Graveyard]

A massive bronze gate spans the path, blocking the way north. On either side are high stone walls surmounted with jagged rocks. Now green and pitted, the gate is still locked shut by a rusted chain fastened with an ancient padlock. A cast likeness of the goddess Lorminstra, Keeper of the Gates of Oblivion, her Staff of Doom in hand, and a grotesque statue of the Empress Gosaena are the main motifs of the elaborately decorated portal. You also see a dirt path.

Also here: Conquerer of Reim Raelee, Lord Barnom who is sitting

Raelee asks, "Am I wrong?"

Speaking to Leafiara, Stormyrain says, "See."

Barnom exclaims, "You escaped!"

Barnom applauds.

Barnom applauds.

Barnom exclaims, "Welcome to the world of the living!"

Speaking lightly to Barnom, Leafiara says, "We're good at that."

Speaking to Barnom, Leafiara muses, "Actually, you're pretty good at it too, it turns out."

Barnom claps again and one of his skeletal hands falls to the ground. He looks down at it, awkwardly.

Barnom says, "Awkward..."

Barnom scoops up his hand and twists it back on.

Speaking to Kippe, Pietra asks, "Funny that you'd come, are you looking for that finger still?"

Earthdiver removes a skeletal hand from in his steel gauntlet.

Earthdiver says, "Gauntlets keep the hands on."

[General] Leafiara states, "We've found Barnom in front of the graveyard gate holding an audience. Or... something!"

Barnom cackles at Earthdiver!

Earthdiver put a skeletal hand in his steel gauntlet.

Earthdiver puts on a black steel gauntlet.

Earthdiver clenches his fist.

Speaking neutrally to Pietra, Kippe says, "I've given up on it."

Barnom taps an ancient padlock.

[General] Pietra thinks, "Losing his hand, to be honest."

Barnom stands up.

Barnom stands in front of an ancient padlock.

Barnom exclaims, "Abra kobold dabra!"

Barnom waggles his fingers at an ancient padlock.

Speaking to Roelon, Lylia murmurs, "I hear congratulations are in order."

Barnom asks, "Did you all think I was here with Vlashandra for a moment?"

Barnom leans on Raelee.

Barnom cackles!

Speaking confusedly to Barnom, Leafiara asks, "You're trying to get in?"

Elanthil asks, "Hey Barnom. When you gonna settle down, find a nice ghoul?"

Barnom leans on Raelee.

Speaking deeply to Lylia, Roelon asks, "Thank ye. However, ah dinnae think just what ah got mahself into?"

Barnom says, "I am a King, I don't need a ghoulfriend."

Raelee stares sternly down her nose at Barnom.

Barnom snickers at Elanthil.

Barnom says, "I could go for a Queen or two."

Xorus says, "It is a fine gate. It is made of bronze, but its hinges are iron, which rusts a different color. So it resembles a flame burst when you blow it open."

(Raelee takes a measured step to the left, away from Barnom.)

Lylia says, "Tell your toady that. I believe she has applied for the position."

Elanthil says, "Even a King needs someone to polish his bones..."

Barnom asks, "Toady?"

Barnom gawks at Lylia.

Barnom says, "Bitter. Party for one, your table at Silvergate is ready."

Speaking deeply to Barnom, Roelon says, "Ah queen just might fall to pieces over ye. Or the other way around."

Barnom snickers at Lylia.

Ycelacie flatly says, "Maybe Earthdiver was on to something."

Lylia clarifies, "Lickspittle. Dogsbody. Servitor."

Speaking evenly to Barnom, Raelee asks, "And what is Vlashandra occupying herself with at this time?"

Lylia narrows her eyes.

A cool breeze sweeps around the gate, sending a shiver down your spine.

Suddenly, a Phantom Gatekeeper appears.

The Phantom Gatekeeper moans loudly as he shakes a set of keys at you. He slams the gate closed, checks the lock, then disappears in another chilly swirl of air.

Barnom says, "Oh, she is kept busy."

Leafiara remarks, "We sure get off topic pretty quickly around here at times."

Xorus says, "Amusing impersonation of Lorminstra, Gatekeeper."

Barnom says, "We've got several things to, tidy up if you will."

Barnom takes a large twisted crown formed from decaying finger bones and one of Kippe's fingers off his head.

Barnom asks, "Recognize it?"

Barnom peers quizzically at Kippe.

Barnom holds his sides and lets out a rumbling belly laugh.

Barnom puts a large twisted crown formed from decaying finger bones and one of Kippe's fingers on his head.

Speaking to Pietra, Kippe says, "It's a finger."

Speaking to Pukk, Pietra exclaims, "Join Leafiara!"

Speaking curiously to Barnom, Leafiara ventures, "So, uh... you're trying to get in to invite more people to Lich's Landing, I'm guessing?"

Speaking simply to Barnom, Kippe says, "I gave you the finger."

Elanthil asks, "Give us the finger, wll ya?"

Speaking to Pukk, Pietra says, "Well it's chaos personified, in ghostly form."

Barnom leaps up onto the gate, holding onto it for a moment with one hand as he swings his body out as if about to fall. He begins to sing as he tries to catch snowflakes with his black tongue.

Ycelacie asks, "Who, him?"

Barnom digs his feet into the ground and begins to heave against the heavy bronze gate with his great strength!

Leafiara amiably asks, "Ah, the old classic way, eh?"

Leafiara digs her feet into the ground and begins to heave against the heavy bronze gate with her incredible strength!

Speaking to Barnom, Pietra asks, "Do you need help?"

Leafiara muses, "Sure, why not?"

Roelon digs his feet into the ground and begins to heave against the heavy bronze gate with his incredible strength!

Leafiara recites:

"Have at it, push that gate open!"

Ycelacie flatly says, "I think he gets lonely, which is why he comes to see us."

Barnom says, "Dig in!"

Earthdiver digs his feet into the ground and begins to heave against the heavy bronze gate with his great strength!

Pietra digs her feet into the ground and begins to heave against the heavy bronze gate with her incredible strength!

Barnom exclaims, "Do it the right way!"

Pukk digs his feet into the ground and begins to heave against the heavy bronze gate with his incredible strength!

Ycelacie asks, "The gate?"

Lylia says, "Magic is 'the right way.'."

The ancient hinges of the gate creak loudly as they give way. A chain halts the opening of the gate, but there is enough clearance for you to slip through.

Ycelacie gestures at a massive bronze gate.

A massive bronze gate vibrates slightly.

Speaking to Barnom, Pietra says, "Don't tell us, those who have actual shoulders, how to push a gate, silly."

Barnom gawks at Ycelacie.

Roelon stops pushing on the gate.

Leafiara declares, "Success!"

Lord Barnom just went through a massive bronze gate.

Summoning the Horde

[Graveyard]

You pause inside the gates to survey the eerie scene. A magnificently crafted granite crypt to the north inspires wonder and loathing. The carvings on the facade are horrific, detailing the onslaughts of the Unlife throughout the chaotic history of Elanthia. A gravel path wraps around the structure, while thorny brambles growing among the tombstones deter you from leaving the paved route. You also see a goblin, a black-tipped swamp hound, a raven that is flying around, the Stormyrain disk, the Asben disk, the Elanthil disk, the palm frond-shaped Leafiara disk, a massive snowy white tiger, a fluffy white cat, an amber-eyed tawny range wolf, a goblin, a dagger, some light leather, a flail and some light leather.

Also here: Toporock, Xorus, Pukk, Stormyrain, High Lord Elanthil, Lord Zolis, Lord Vaeldrys, Earthdiver, Pietra, Lord Asben, Roelon, Town Councilor Leafiara, Imperatrix Lylia, Conquerer of Reim Raelee, Kippe, Lord Barnom

Earthdiver rubs his alabaster mushroom and the gills underneath the cap flare suddenly...

A brief puff of pale white powder appears before Earthdiver.

Earthdiver tosses his light brown spore onto the ground, which skids a few feet before skidding to a stop. A single wave of deep, crimson flames and acrid smoke radiates from the exploding spore and ripples along the ground towards a goblin...

A goblin is struck by the wave of fire!

... 70 points of damage!

Fire completely surrounds a goblin. Blood boils and heart stops.

The goblin falls to the ground, kicks several times and dies.

The fiery, crimson wave radiates outward from the goblin and towards a skeleton.

A skeleton is struck by the wave of fire!

... 60 points of damage!

Flame consumes a skeleton's right arm all the way to the shoulder.

The skeleton screams with delight while clutching at its mangled right arm.

The skeleton's dagger falls to the ground.

You hear a sound like a child weeping as a white glow separates itself from the skeleton's body and rises into the heavens.

The skeleton falls to the ground motionless.

The remaining portions of the light brown spore crumble away into a fine golden powder.

Barnom's jaw drops.

Speaking to Earthdiver, Pukk says, "You better wait next time to make sure nobody was chasing."

[General] Squintlee asks, "Is it stormin?"

Ycelacie says, "Shoot."

Barnom yells, "Ghouls and skeletons!"

Elanthil says, "Ycel....dont do that again."

Barnom yells, "Your King has arrived and is offering you a new home!"

A skeleton swings a dagger at Earthdiver!

AS: +31 vs DS: +637 with AvD: +22 + d100 roll: +16 = -568

A clean miss.

Barnom frowns at a skeleton.

Barnom shrugs.

Speaking to Elanthil, Pietra says, "Fall and roll."

Barnom stops straining against the gate to rest a bit.

Roelon deeply says, "They don' seem interested."

Lylia says, "These would be poor servants."

Leafiara tentatively says, "Maybe we should give them some time to consider."

Pukk says, "Well, this is a good place to die."

Ycelacie removes a crystalline flask containing some milky blue oil from in her spidersilk cloak.

Ycelacie sprinkles the ground with some milky blue oil.

A sense of peace and calm settles over the area.

Leafiara skinned a skeleton, yielding a skeleton bone.

Leafiara picks up a skeleton bone.

[General] Azallin thinks, "Nasty bandits are haunting the Icemule Trail for the moment, I had to make a tactical retreat. Be careful."

Earthdiver says, "Those can be worth a lot."

Speaking to Elanthil, Ycelacie says, "Better."

Several skeletons wander into the area.

[Graveyard]

You pause inside the gates to survey the eerie scene. A magnificently crafted granite crypt to the north inspires wonder and loathing. The carvings on the facade are horrific, detailing the onslaughts of the Unlife throughout the chaotic history of Elanthia. A gravel path wraps around the structure, while thorny brambles growing among the tombstones deter you from leaving the paved route. You also see a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a dagger, a woven cloak, some light leather, a woven cloak, some light leather, some light leather, a flail, a dagger, the Toporock disk, a black-tipped swamp hound, a raven that is flying around, the Stormyrain disk, the Asben disk, the Elanthil disk, the palm frond-shaped Leafiara disk, a massive snowy white tiger, a fluffy white cat, an amber-eyed tawny range wolf, a dagger, some light leather, a flail and some light leather.

[General] Pietra thinks, "It's snowing... And Barnom the lich king is in the graveyard."

[General] Leafiara thinks, "Several skeletons have come at Barnom's request."

Several ghouls shamble into the room.

[Graveyard]

You pause inside the gates to survey the eerie scene. A magnificently crafted granite crypt to the north inspires wonder and loathing. The carvings on the facade are horrific, detailing the onslaughts of the Unlife throughout the chaotic history of Elanthia. A gravel path wraps around the structure, while thorny brambles growing among the tombstones deter you from leaving the paved route. You also see a lesser ghoul, a lesser ghoul, a lesser ghoul, a lesser ghoul, a lesser ghoul, a lesser ghoul, a lesser ghoul, a lesser ghoul, a lesser ghoul, the Archious disk, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a dagger, a woven cloak, some light leather, a woven cloak, some light leather, some light leather, a flail, a dagger, the Toporock disk, a black-tipped swamp hound, a raven that is flying around, the Stormyrain disk, the Asben disk, the Elanthil disk, the palm frond-shaped Leafiara disk, a massive snowy white tiger, a fluffy white cat, an amber-eyed tawny range wolf, a dagger, some light leather, a flail and some light leather.

Speaking in Faendryl, Lylia says something you don't understand.

[General] Leafiara adds, "And now ghouls."

Pukk says, "And here I am no longer a part of Voln."

Barnom leans over to one of the skeletons and whispers loudly, "I have a bone to pick with you...."

Barnom snickers to himself.

Speaking knowingly to Barnom, Leafiara remarks, "Ah, fresh faced recruits with potential."

Barnom exclaims, "Precisely!"

Leafiara muses, "Well, more like no faced in this case, but..."

Barnom nods at Leafiara.

Leafiara snickers.

Leafiara grins at Barnom.

Barnom says, "We need a town council too I am sure."

Speaking in Faendryl to Lylia, Kippe counters something you don't understand.

Barnom says, "A Dark Town Council."

Pukk whispers aloud, "He said bone."

Barnom says, "Or maybe a Light one, to be opposite of yours."

Barnom holds his sides and lets out a rumbling belly laugh.

Barnom says, "I kid, I kid."

Barnom glances at a skeleton.

Barnom asks, "What, no funny bones?"

Barnom snickers at a skeleton.

Archious whispers something to Kayani.

Barnom asks, "Is this it?"

Lylia deadpans, "I am Faendryl. I have no sense of humor. You have learned nothing."

Speaking curiously to Barnom, Ycelacie asks, "I might have missed the monologue, why are you here?"

Inck asks, "What did I miss?"

Barnom says, "I mean, I suppose this will do...."

Goldstr asks, "All be well here?"

Barnom exclaims, "I am here to bring some skeletons to their new home!"

Speaking to Lylia, Pukk says, "See, that was funny."

Speaking quietly to himself, Akaylas says, "Seems quite the party tonight."

Barnom nods at Ycelacie.

Ycelacie says, "Oh."

Ycelacie thoughtfully taps a finger against her lips.

Speaking to Goldstr, Lylia murmurs, "Not exactly."

Speaking to Akaylas, Pietra says, "Just wait, it will get wose."

Inck says, "Skeletons live in skin bags."

Speaking to Akaylas, Pietra says, "Or worse."

Barnom says, "Lich's Landing is rather..."

Ycelacie confusedly says, "I guess the graveyard would be the best place, if they had to have a home..."

Barnom says, "It just needs more."

Speaking to Pietra, Akaylas says, "Perhaps I should have brought something to drink."

Speaking to Barnom, Ycelacie asks, "Can't they live in your realm?"

Barnom exclaims, "It used to be such a bustling town!"

Ycelacie says, "It might be a better enviroment for them."

Speaking to Barnom, Goldstr says, "We release dese souls. Dey nae needs a home."

Barnom begins chuckling at Goldstr!

Barnom says, "Ooo release them..."

Speaking to Barnom, Leafiara speculates, "Seeking more grandiosity for the Lich King, I see."

Barnom shakes dramatically.

[General] Pukk exclaims, "Barnom is doing a call for all adventurers who wish to die and become skeletons to come to the graveyard!"

Barnom says, "So scary."

Inck says, "Many creatures in the world chose a hole in the ground to be a proper home."

[General] Pietra asks, "Oh, is that why we're here?"

Barnom shrugs at Leafiara.

Leafiara grins at Barnom.

[General] Virtiziam thinks, "No thank you."

[General] Pietra exclaims, "Well I dropped a keg, so have at it folks!"

Speaking to himself, Archious says, "Lich King..."

[General] Wolfloner thinks, "That does not appeal to me."

[General] Pukk thinks, "He is going to show you all how to lose a lot of weight."

Speaking flatly to Goldstr, Ycelacie says, "See I think he is more, pro put the souls into the bodies."

Elanthil exclaims, "There must always be, a Lich King!"

Barnom twists the Kippe finger free from his bone crown for a moment and uses it to touch his rotted lips. "Shhhh...."

[General] Grike thinks, "Someone drag Candor out there."

Barnom asks, "Did you hear that?"

[General] Vultieri exclaims, "Watch those arrows go straight through you without hitting!"

Elanthil recites:

"Listen....

Did you smell that?"

Speaking ruefully to Severine, Leafiara says, "No sugar cookies tonight, but at least some very interesting company."

[General] Thorsbjorn asks, "Is anyone figting the lich king?"

Several mummies shamble into the area.

Speaking to Ycelacie, Goldstr says, "He jess wanrts dem as his slaves to do his bidding."

[General] Ycelacie thinks, "Well... no, he is kind of babbling right now."

[Graveyard]

You pause inside the gates to survey the eerie scene. A magnificently crafted granite crypt to the north inspires wonder and loathing. The carvings on the facade are horrific, detailing the onslaughts of the Unlife throughout the chaotic history of Elanthia. A gravel path wraps around the structure, while thorny brambles growing among the tombstones deter you from leaving the paved route. You also see a lesser mummy, a lesser mummy, a lesser mummy, a lesser mummy, a lesser mummy, a lesser mummy, a lesser mummy, a red forest fox, the palm frond-shaped Severine disk, the Giogionni disk, an iron-banded monir keg of roast Brisker's best stout, the oleaginous Solmarar disk trailing slick ebon tentacles, the Drektor disk, the coffin-shaped Inck disk, the Sunwu disk, a lesser ghoul, a lesser ghoul, a lesser ghoul, a lesser ghoul, a lesser ghoul, a lesser ghoul, a lesser ghoul, a lesser ghoul, a lesser ghoul, the Archious disk, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a dagger, some light leather, some light leather, some light leather, a flail, a dagger, the Toporock disk, a black-tipped swamp hound, a raven that is flying around, the Stormyrain disk, the Asben disk, the Elanthil disk, the palm frond-shaped Leafiara disk, a massive snowy white tiger, a fluffy white cat, an amber-eyed tawny range wolf, a dagger, some light leather, a flail and some light leather.

'Barnom says, "Ah good, we've got some mummies. We just need some daddies now."

Barnom snickers to himself.

[General] Ycelacie confidently thinks, "And there are skeletons and mummies now..."

Speaking to Pukk, Pietra says, "He's like you...."

Inck says, "True terrors."

Vaeldrys says, "That was pretty good..."

Speaking to Barnom, Giogionni says, "Ya jokes stink worse than ya breath."

Roelon deeply says, "Seems ye hae this nearly wrapped up."

Roelon nods at Barnom.

Pukk says, "Mummies now and aunts...I mean ants next."

Inck says, "Comedy improv."

Barnom snickers at Roelon.

[General] Lylia thinks, "No. Those who have tried in the recent past have been repelled rather forcefully."

Leafiara admits, "Ah, I needed a night like this."

Solmarar says, "I mean if we are gonna play."

Ycelacie playfully says, "Oh no."

Barnom inclines his ear, listening intently.

Barnom says, "Shhh...."

[General] Pukk thinks, "Roblar there is somebody here that you have yet to defeat...his name is Barnom."

Barnom says, "Well, walk wight in why don't you..."

Barnom snickers at a tomb wight.

[Graveyard]

You pause inside the gates to survey the eerie scene. A magnificently crafted granite crypt to the north inspires wonder and loathing. The carvings on the facade are horrific, detailing the onslaughts of the Unlife throughout the chaotic history of Elanthia. A gravel path wraps around the structure, while thorny brambles growing among the tombstones deter you from leaving the paved route. You also see a tomb wight, a tomb wight, a tomb wight, a tomb wight, the Draccor disk, the jet-sheened Kayani disk festooned with grave blossoms, a lesser mummy, a lesser mummy, a lesser mummy, a lesser mummy, a lesser mummy, a lesser mummy, a lesser mummy, a red forest fox, the palm frond-shaped Severine disk, the Giogionni disk, an iron-banded monir keg of roast Brisker's best stout, the oleaginous Solmarar disk trailing slick ebon tentacles, the Drektor disk, the coffin-shaped Inck disk, the Sunwu disk, a lesser ghoul, a lesser ghoul, a lesser ghoul, a lesser ghoul, a lesser ghoul, a lesser ghoul, a lesser ghoul, a lesser ghoul, a lesser ghoul, the Archious disk, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a dagger, some light leather, some light leather, some light leather, a flail, a dagger, the Toporock disk, a black-tipped swamp hound, a raven that is flying around, the Stormyrain disk, the Asben disk, the Elanthil disk, the palm frond-shaped Leafiara disk, a massive snowy white tiger, a fluffy white cat, an amber-eyed tawny range wolf, a dagger, some light leather, a flail and some light leather.

Pukk says, "Wight."

Speaking flatly to Stormyrain, Kayse says, "I see your point."

Barnom snickers to himself.

Elanthil says, "I'm lonely, but I'm certain the wight ghoul will come along, someday."

Xorus says, "Irrevenant, as always."

Speaking to Kayse, Stormyrain offers, "It does not get any better than this."

Inck says, "I got a bone to pick with everyone telling these bad jokes."

Speaking to Barnom, Pietra asks, "So is there a point, or just the bad jokes?"

Pietra grins at Barnom

Speaking to Kayse, Stormyrain whispers aloud, "But sometimes it is worse."

Leafiara acknowledges, "The real miracle will be if the night mares manage to make it over here."

Giogionni says, "Really startin' to second-guess foggin' in here."

Pukk says, "I guess all these mummies must live on dead end streets."

Barnom gawks at Pietra.

Earthdiver says, "Very flammable in here."

Barnom says, "Yes yes..."

Pietra grins slowly at Barnom.

One of These Things is Not Like the Others

A hobgoblin stomps in.

Speaking wryly to Stormyrain, Kayse responds, "I would like to say I can't imagine it getting worse, but..."

Barnom says, "No no NO."

Barnom shakes his head at a hobgoblin.

Speaking dubiously to a hobgoblin, Leafiara says, "You're not undead."

Speaking to a hobgoblin, Lylia says, "I was wondering why you called this meeting."

Barnom says, "Wait a second..."

Speaking to Pietra, Pukk says, "Do you know why the zombie went to see the healer? Because of his coffin."

Leafiara musingly says, "Unless it's volunteering to become undead."

[General] Roblar thinks, "Defeated em afore though, there wa a cavein a phylactery gone boom."

Speaking to Barnom, Ycelacie says, "If you are going to try to make us undead."

Speaking to himself, Giogionni says, "Just a few well placed fire spirits, and..."

[General] Luxelle asks, "That counted, then, right?"

Ycelacie says, "And can succeed, remember my first choice is vampire."

Barnom pulls off his incarnadie bowtie, snaps it around the hobgoblin's neck and violently strangles him while cackling loudly!

Elanthil says, "I want to be an undead chinchilla."

Speaking to Elanthil, Pukk says, "You shouldn't complain. You were on fire earlier.."

Barnom steps back, and waves to the hobgoblin skeleton.

Barnom looks at a skeleton and cheers!

Ycelacie says, "Second... I am thinking, last would be zombie."

Leafiara concludes, "Guess that's a yes, then."

Barnom exclaims, "Now you can come!"

Speaking softly to Barnom, Kayani says, "Not enough blood."

Barnom nods to the skeleton.

[Graveyard]

You pause inside the gates to survey the eerie scene. A magnificently crafted granite crypt to the north inspires wonder and loathing. The carvings on the facade are horrific, detailing the onslaughts of the Unlife throughout the chaotic history of Elanthia. A gravel path wraps around the structure, while thorny brambles growing among the tombstones deter you from leaving the paved route. You also see the white Willm disk, a tomb wight, a tomb wight, a tomb wight, a tomb wight, the Draccor disk, the jet-sheened Kayani disk festooned with grave blossoms, a lesser mummy, a lesser mummy, a lesser mummy, a lesser mummy, a lesser mummy, a lesser mummy, a lesser mummy, a red forest fox, the palm frond-shaped Severine disk, the Giogionni disk, an iron-banded monir keg of roast Brisker's best stout, the oleaginous Solmarar disk trailing slick ebon tentacles, the Drektor disk, the coffin-shaped Inck disk, the Sunwu disk, a lesser ghoul, a lesser ghoul, a lesser ghoul, a lesser ghoul, a lesser ghoul, a lesser ghoul, a lesser ghoul, a lesser ghoul, a lesser ghoul, the Archious disk, a rotting hobgoblin skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a skeleton, a dagger, some light leather, some light leather, some light leather, a flail, a dagger, the Toporock disk, a black-tipped swamp hound, a raven that is flying around, the Stormyrain disk, the Asben disk, the Elanthil disk, the palm frond-shaped Leafiara disk, a massive snowy white tiger, a fluffy white cat, an amber-eyed tawny range wolf, a dagger, some light leather, a flail and some light leather.

Giogionni asks, "What? No wraiths ridin' night mares?"

Barnom says, "Maybe tomarerow."

Barnom snickers.

Speaking to Giogionni, Leafiara muses, "You know, all of these ones so far are corpoeal. Maybe they--"

Vaeldrys asks, "Mm, Vampire wouldn't be bad...what about a lich duke, or lich knight?"

Leafiara gazes in amusement at Barnom.

The Gate Escape

Barnom says, "Now..."

Barnom exclaims, "Heave with all of your bones!"

Barnom nods to the skeleton.

Speaking darkly to Barnom, Draccor says, "Part of me wants to make you play catch."

Some of the skeletons dig their feet in and begin to push on the gate.

Barnom digs his feet into the ground and begins to heave against the heavy bronze gate with his great strength!

Some of the skeletons dig their feet in and begin to push on the gate.

Speaking to Stormyrain, Kayse admits, "It...got worse."

Speaking to Vaeldrys, Ycelacie says, "I'm not totally sold on the lich idea."

Barnom exclaims, "Heave!"

Speaking to Kayse, Stormyrain whispers aloud, "Warned you."

Elanthil says, "I'm pushing...no...really."

Inck asks, "So why aren't we setting them all on fire?"

Speaking to Inck, Leafiara deadpans, "Morbid curiosity."

Solmarar removes a crystalline flask containing a softly glowing blue potion from in his alchemy bag.

Solmarar pours his potion on the gate.

The huge gate shudders violently! Dark red flakes of rust fall from its massive hinges like a blizzard of bloodstained snow as it slowly swings open.

Inck says, "I see."

Speaking to Ycelacie, Vaeldrys says, "The rotting might be an issue..."

Solmarar snickers.

Barnom gawks at Solmarar.

Barnom exclaims, "You will teach them NOTHING!"

Barnom nods at Solmarar.

Barnom seems to be waiting for something.

Barnom seems to be waiting for something.

Inck says, "Teach them to dance."

Inck says, "And to sing."

Inck says, "And to love."

A cool breeze sweeps around the gate, sending a shiver down your spine.

Suddenly, a Phantom Gatekeeper appears.

The Phantom Gatekeeper moans loudly as he shakes a set of keys at you. He slams the gate closed, checks the lock, then disappears in another chilly swirl of air.

Speaking darkly to Barnom, Draccor says, "You will also teach them nothing."

Barnom stops pushing on the gate.

Barnom digs his feet into the ground and begins to heave against the heavy bronze gate with his great strength!

Speaking to Barnom, Solmarar says, "They will learn to make the potion or buy it from me."

Leafiara digs her feet into the ground and begins to heave against the heavy bronze gate with her incredible strength!

Barnom exclaims, "Dig in!"

Earthdiver says, "Maybe too late for most things."

Pukk digs his feet into the ground and begins to heave against the heavy bronze gate with his incredible strength!

Elanthil says, "Give a zombie a skeletal brain he will eat for a day, teach him to rip skulls off, he will eat for unlife."

Some of the ghouls and skeletons begin to push on the gate.

Roelon digs his feet into the ground and begins to heave against the heavy bronze gate with his incredible strength!

Asben digs his feet into the ground and begins to heave against the heavy bronze gate with his incredible strength!

Barnom exclaims, "Work for your freedom!"

With a roar, Goldstr lowers his shoulder and charges the bronze gate!

The bronze gate pops open, leaving Goldstr staggering, trying to catch his balance!

A cool breeze sweeps around the gate, sending a shiver down your spine.

Suddenly, a Phantom Gatekeeper appears.

The Phantom Gatekeeper moans loudly as he shakes a set of keys at you. He slams the gate closed, checks the lock, then disappears in another chilly swirl of air. You are already pushing against it as hard as you can. Maybe if you got some other people to help.

Goldstr shakes his head.

(Pukk glances at the ghouls and skeletons and says, "Put your backs into it!")

Leafiara digs her feet into the ground and begins to heave against the heavy bronze gate with her incredible strength!

Barnom glances at Goldstr.

Draccor darkly says, "Well played gatekeeper."

Earthdiver says, "Worst job ever."

Barnom says, "Good job. I'll give you a gold star..."

Barnom nods at Goldstr.

Barnom snickers.

Goldstr begins chuckling at Barnom!

Barnom exclaims, "HEAVE!"

Barnom stops pushing on the gate.

Barnom digs his feet into the ground and begins to heave against the heavy bronze gate with his great strength!

Speaking to Leafiara, Pukk asks, "I really really like this Lich King...can we keep him please?"

Leafiara murmurs, "It's being stubborn tonight."

Leafiara digs her feet into the ground and begins to heave against the heavy bronze gate with her incredible strength!

The ancient hinges of the gate creak loudly as they give way. A chain halts the opening of the gate, but there is enough clearance for you to slip through.

Barnom exclaims, "Come on Sally!"

Barnom says, "That's the gate's name."

Lord Barnom just went through the bronze gate.

[Graveyard]

A massive bronze gate spans the path, blocking the way north. On either side are high stone walls surmounted with jagged rocks. Now green and pitted, the gate is still locked shut by a rusted chain fastened with an ancient padlock. A cast likeness of the goddess Lorminstra, Keeper of the Gates of Oblivion, her Staff of Doom in hand, and a grotesque statue of the Empress Gosaena are the main motifs of the elaborately decorated portal. You also see a dirt path.

Speaking to Barnom, Pietra asks, "So that was... fun?"

Draccor darkly says, "You know some of us could have just climbed over."

Ycelacie asks, "So what now?"

Leafiara amusedly says, "Not from the inside."

Elanthil says, "Barnom is an earthy kinda guy."

Several skeletons, ghouls and mummies arrive and begin to look around, staring at the sky.

Speaking to Barnom, Pukk says, "You know there is an easier way to open the gate right? Just have Xorus smile at it. Works every time."

Barnom says, "Go home my servants! I mean...guests."

Inck says, "I want a skeleton butler to see to my many needs."

Akaylas asks, "Are we the servants or the guests?"

Xorus says, "The gate and I have an understanding."

Speaking to Lylia, Pukk asks, "Grimace? Scowl?"

Speaking to Inck, Ycelacie asks, "Can't you do that already?"

Speaking in Faendryl, Zolis deeply says something you don't understand.

The host of skeletons, ghouls and mummies begin to wander off down the trail when suddenly a white fog rolls in and envelops them. The ashen mist soon dissipates, and the undead are gone.

Barnom says, "Ah...they will like it there."

Speaking darkly to Barnom, Draccor says, "I still owe you I think."

Giogionni says, "That can't be good."

Leafiara observes, "Effective travel method."

Barnom asks, "Oh?"

Barnom peers quizzically at Draccor.

Vaeldrys says, "Hmm, disappearing undead. Exciting."

Speaking sternly to Barnom, Ycelacie says, "Don't do the hand gag, please."

Speaking to Giogionni, Pietra says, "I think he's sent them off to his Kingdom under the Landing."

Pukk asks, "So, was this what they meant about releasing the undead?"

Speaking to Barnom, Goldstr says, "Well now ye has more slaves."

Speaking lightly to Pukk, Leafiara says, "Not quite."

Working Up a Solution

Barnom says, "Now then..."

Barnom glances at a massive bronze gate.

Speaking darkly to Barnom, Draccor says, "Long ago an axe to the face."

Barnom says, "That gate is quite pesky."

Speaking to Vaeldrys, Lylia says, "It is one way to harvest new hirelings."

Barnom says, "I can't do this again if it takes so long to push open..."

Barnom says, "...and I certainly can't have them cheating and not putting their back bones into it."

Speaking to Barnom, Pietra asks, "So you need a more effective skeleton release system?"

Solmarar asks, "Should I help?"

Solmarar says, "Ok."

Barnom stops straining against the gate to rest a bit.

Solmarar says, "No..."

Barnom says, "So let's see...."

Barnom rummages through a moth-eaten treat bag with a frantic look of loss.

Speaking to Barnom, Solmarar says, "I mean I could just supply them with potions to pop it open."

Speaking to Draccor, Ycelacie explains, "He would have said well then let me give you a hand, then took his hand off... he already did that one tonight."

Speaking to Barnom, Raelee says, "... the spell to open it is not complex."

Leafiara agrees, "Several spells as options, even."

With a roar, Brigadeena lowers her shoulder and charges the bronze gate!

The bronze gate pops open, leaving Brigadeena staggering, trying to catch her balance!

Leafiara says, "Or, well, that."

Pietra says, "That one's no skeleton."

Barnom begins to fiddle with the ancient padlock, running his hands along it and the green and pitted surface of the huge gate.

Speaking darkly to Ycelacie, Draccor says, "He would not treat me the same as you in those regards."

Barnom cocks his head and examines the bronze gate.

Barnom says, "Umm hmm...."

Barnom paces back and forth.

Speaking to Draccor, Ycelacie says, "I bet he will."

Xorus says, "Feeling up that statue, I see."

Brigadeena asks, "Did I miss something?"

Akaylas says, "Seems to me a lich could just ask the phantom gatekeeper to open the gate."

Speaking to Barnom, Desorceri asks, "Have you considered the locksmith pool?"

Barnom takes off one of his arms and scratches the top of his head. A moment later, he reconnects his limb.

Barnom says, "Um hmmm..."

Barnom paces back and forth.

Speaking to himself, Akaylas says, "I bet the gatekeeper got tired of his jokes ages ago."

Barnom exclaims, "Ah ha!"

Speaking to Brigadeena, Pietra says, "No, just this lich King Barnom here trying to recruit more skeletons for his city under the Landing."

Speaking to Brigadeena, Pietra asks, "Care for a drink?"

Leafiara elaborates, "Well, sort of under the Landing but also sort of not..."

Solmarar says, "If ya need a hand."

Inck says, "I bet that padlock has a key... Maybe a 'skeleton' key."

Speaking to Leafiara, Pietra says, "I was trying to keep it simple."

Barnom says, "Eeny...meany..."

Speaking darkly to Ycelacie, Draccor says, "Im also trying to decide what is going on here before I continue to taunt Barnom the way I have been."

Barnom exclaims, "Severine!"

Speaking to Pietra, Leafiara says, "It's the Landing, it's never simple."

Ycelacie says, "Good one."

Speaking to Leafiara, Pietra says, "Because you know how simple things are around here."

Severine blinks.

Barnom moves over to stand before Severine.

Barnom says, "I need you to spit into my hand. Don't miss."

Severine glances over her shoulder at Barnom.

Pukk says, "Kinky."

Inck says, "I know where this is going."

Speaking confusedly to Inck, Leafiara asks, "Where's it going?"

Barnom seems to be waiting for something.

Speaking to Stormyrain, Kayse notes, "Worse."

Severine flatly asks, "What?"

Elanthil says, "I want dinner, first."

Zolis deeply says, "That can be arranged."

Speaking to Severine, Ycelacie says, "Oh do it."

Speaking to Leafiara, Inck says, "Eventually? Maybe babies."

Speaking to Severine, Pukk says, "Seems he wants you to be his queen."

Xorus says, "Ah. I remember Eeny."

Speaking softly to Barnom, Severine says, "I'm not going to spit -"

Severine glances at Pukk.

Speaking to Pukk, Lylia says, "Queens do not spit. This is not how monarchies arise."

Speaking to Pukk, Pietra asks, "Is that how lich kings propose? "Spit in my hand, woman"?"

Barnom says, "Oh sweet Stone...just do it."

Speaking to Severine, Pukk says, "So if they don't spit then they swa.....nevermind."

Elanthil says, "Monarchies are made by watery tarts hurling scimatars."

Severine looks thoughtfully at Barnom.

Barnom says, "FINE."

Speaking softly to Barnom, Severine says, "No."

Barnom turns away from Severine, ignoring her.

Severine scoffs.

Barnom moves to stand in front of Inck.

Speaking to Barnom, Pietra says, "I'd be happy to spit on you."

Barnom says, "Spit."

Barnom holds his hand out.

Inck says, "You got it."

Barnom moves to stand in front of Inck.

Speaking to Inck, Pietra exclaims, "New lich queen, Inck!"

(Inck hocks a fat loogie in Barnom's hand.)

Leafiara confesses, "I'm very curious where this one's going."

Akaylas says, "Gives another meaning for the phrase 'wet work'."

Inck says, "Sorry bout the grit and blood."

Speaking to Leafiara, Giogionni asks, "Straight through the Ebon Gate. Where else?"

Inck says, "Forgot what I ate."

[General] Pietra thinks, "Update: Inck has now spit in Barnom's hand... for some unclear reason."

Speaking philosophically to Giogionni, Leafiara says, "Well, yes, that's everyone eventually..."

Barnom turns his bony hand to the side slightly, watching and almost gagging as the mucusy spit from Inck drips across some of his fingers.

Brigadeena says, "This is all confusing."

Inck sniffs.

Barnom says, "Eww."

Inck asks, "More?"

Asben whispers something to Pietra.

Speaking to Leafiara, Giogionni says, "Just seems like the Landin' is always in a hurry to get there."

Speaking to Brigadeena, Pietra says, "Truth."

Barnom says, "No. Not from you."

Inck snaps his fingers.

Barnom exclaims, "YOU!"

Barnom points at Brigadeena.

Barnom moves to stand in front of Brigadeena.

Brigadeena blinks.

Speaking to Leafiara, Desorceri exclaims, "A necromancer trying to be a rogue? I should retire to the turnip farm!"

Brigadeena says, "Um."

Barnom holds out his other spit-free hand.

Brigadeena asks, "Spit?"

Barnom says, "Fill it up lass."

Barnom cups his clean hand.

Speaking confusedly to Desorceri, Leafiara says, "I'm not sure what he's trying to be, honestly."

(Brigadeena spits a tiny dribble into Barnom's hand.)

Brigadeena says, "I think I might regret that."

[General] Pietra thinks, "And now Brigadeena is going to spit in his other hand. We still don't know why."

Barnom says, "Wow. Such a tiny spittle for a large woman."

Brigadeena shrugs.

Barnom says, "I hope it'll work."

Inck says, "I hope this makes me some grandchildren."

Speaking to Leafiara, Desorceri says, "He likes messing with locks."

Brigadeena says, "I've not enough to drink."

Brigadeena tips her head back and empties a tall glass of peach-infused vodka mixed with orange and cranberry juices down her gullet!

Barnom mashes his hands together, mixing Inck and Brigadeena's spit together as he fights back a gagging cough.

Speaking to Barnom, Desorceri says, "Teach me how to be a better necromancer. That seems to suit you better."

Pukk exclaims, "You may now kiss the bride!"

Akaylas says, "Who knew a walking corpse could be so squeamish."

Brigadeena says, "I feel like we should know each other."

Solmarar says, "You two are now married."

Pukk says, "May."

Vaeldrys says, "Congratulations. You are now married."

Speaking to Brigadeena, Inck says, "I think we are married now."

Speaking to Barnom, Pietra says, "How are you grossed out by that... you eat bugs and remove people's fingers to wear."

Brigadeena says, "Since our spit has mingled."

Brigadeena says, "Oh."

Brigadeena says, "But I'm already married."

Inck says, "More the merrier."

Brigadeena says, "You're not bad though."

Speaking to Brigadeena, Vaeldrys exclaims, "But not by a Lich King!"

Speaking offendedly to Pietra, Kayani says, "I want a necklace of fingers."

The voice of Gutstorm drunkenly slurs, "Him shtill got Kippe finnersh?"

Desorceri says, "Glutton for grotesque."

Barnom moves over to the massive bronze gate and rubs his spit-soaked palms all over it while chanting in some clicking sounds, uttering several words as light begins to glow from around his fingers.

Leafiara affirms, "He does!"

Speaking to Brigadeena, Pukk says, "It's okay. You will have a harem now."

The voice of Gutstorm drunkenly slurs, "We openin da gate da hard way?"

Brigadeena says, "I'm up for it."

Leafiara exclaims, "No, we already opened it the hard way. In both directions!"

Pietra says, "We're spitting on the gate, apparently. Well, Barnom is rubbing spit on it."

Leafiara tentatively asks, "Now Barnom's, uh... finding a new way?"

Speaking to Barnom, Goldstr says, "Ye be messin wid some vera powerful Arkati der."

Inck says, "Saliva is an amazing lubricant."

Solmarar says, "Really gotta work it in."

Xorus says, "The hardest way to open it... is with love."

Draccor darkly asks, "Is there a point to all this?"

Pukk says, "Now we just have to spit on the gate."

Brigadeena asks, "Need a bit more spit Barnom?"

Barnom finishes muttering in a guttural language, rubs his hands all over the gate again, then steps back to stare at the green and pitted metal surface.

Speaking to Barnom, Desorceri asks, "Are you making a lubricant?"

Pukk says, "The only problem is skeletons can't spit...no lips."

Barnom exclaims, "There!"

Speaking to Pukk, Pietra says, "Little too dry as well."

Earthdiver says, "Is it going to stay open now."

Barnom exclaims, "The gate will now be easier to push!"

Brigadeena says, "Never thought about that."

Inck exclaims, "We did it!"

Speaking to Barnom, Pietra says, "Well that's a nice thing."

The voice of Gutstorm drunkenly slurs, "Yoink."

Speaking flatly to Leafiara, Ycelacie says, "I am pretty certain the spit is not necessary in one bit, except that he thinks it is humorous."

Barnom exclaims, "No more unnecessary exhaustion!"

Leafiara curiously says, "Doesn't look any different, but..."

With a roar, Brigadeena lowers her shoulder and charges the bronze gate!

The bronze gate pops open, leaving Brigadeena staggering, trying to catch her balance!

A cool breeze sweeps around the gate, sending a shiver down your spine.

Suddenly, a Phantom Gatekeeper appears.

The Phantom Gatekeeper moans loudly as he shakes a set of keys at you. He slams the gate closed, checks the lock, then disappears in another chilly swirl of air.

Leafiara digs her feet into the ground and begins to heave against the heavy bronze gate with her incredible strength!

The gate budges a little more.

Akaylas asks, "But what of the poor gatekeeper?"

The ancient hinges of the gate creak loudly as they give way. A chain halts the opening of the gate, but there is enough clearance for you to slip through.

Speaking darkly to Barnom, Draccor says, "You know what they call lubricant in half-elven? the gods lovely Lubricant."

Roelon deeply asks, "Ye think ah am touching that thing with spit all over it?"

Goldstr exclaims, "Well I be, ye be helpin folks!"

Vaeldrys says, "I bet that it is hard to jump over now though..."

Leafiara surprisedly says, "Oh, well, that *was* a lot faster."

Elanthil asks, "Why did the undead comic tell the same joke over and over again?"

Inck says, "Think is just smells funny now."

Elanthil says, "Because he thought it was humerous."

Solmarar says, "Ahh now the undead can easily come and go as they please."

Barnom says, "I mean...yes of course...your fancy potions and spells and roaring like a madman and charging it will still work oh so great..."

Speaking to Elanthil, Ycelacie says, "Yes, that is what I am saying."

Barnom exclaims, "But perhaps for those who lack such luxuries or advance training....it won't be so difficult for them anymore!"

Brigadeena says, "And here m'mum said I'd never be worth more than brigadeen."

Speaking to Barnom, Pietra says, "Well that's quite nice of you."

Akaylas says, "Good for them, bad for the phantom gatekeeper."

Barnom says, "On another note..."

Solmarar says, "I dont think I've seen anyone charge the gate..."

Inck says, "Its all for the kiddies."

Barnom asks, "Who here is a Member of Voln?"

Speaking to Elanthil, Ycelacie says, "He gets lonely so he comes here and leads us on with some ominous story so that he can have company."

Elanthil asks, "What did the rock say to the stick?"

Leafiara raises her hand.

Lylia nods slowly at Barnom.

Ycelacie raises her hand.

Sunwu grunts, amused.

Ycelacie says, "Me."

Brigadeena raises her hand.

Elanthil says, "Nothing, you idiot,...rocks can't talk."

Leafiara notes, "Plenty here."

Goldstr grins.

Stormyrain furrows her brow.

Barnom says, "One...two...three...."

Severine shifts her weight.

Lylia simply says, "Yes. For some years now."

Barnom says, "A handful."

Barnom nods.

Goldstr says, "Many of us be."

Brigadeena asks, "Will it matter?"

Barnom says, "Good job standing by idly while I set some undead free. Voln is so proud."

Barnom cackles!

Barnom holds his sides and lets out a rumbling belly laugh.

Speaking to Barnom, Ycelacie says, "It is very convenient."

Barnom exclaims, "Maybe you should reconsider!"

Vaeldrys says, "Me, I guess. Only until a better offer comes along."

[General] Pukk exclaims, "Barnom has just made it easier for people to get in and out of the graveyard gate. He has also announced that he will be running for Mayor of Landing!"

Desorceri says, "Hmm."

Speaking to Barnom, Archious says, "I care little for Voln's approval, as long as he comes when I call."

Barnom exclaims, "Well, that is all I needed tonight!"

Barnom exclaims, "Thank you for your spit and company!"

Leafiara says, "Eh, they've been getting along with a lich pretty well up in Icemule, so..."

Barnom exclaims, "We'll need to do dinner again!"

Barnom says, "Perhaps this time in Lich's Landing!"

Speaking to Barnom, Pukk exclaims, "Don't worry. I will vote for you!"

Barnom exclaims, "Be my guests!"

[General] Vultieri thinks, "A candidate you can be sure has a skeleton in his cupboard."

Speaking to Barnom, Leafiara agrees, "Oh, yes, definitely dinner again."

Inck says, "I'll send an invoice for the loogy."

Barnom removes a bone-shaped sugar cookie from in his white wicker basket.

Desorceri says, "It opens more easily than it closes..."

Speaking to Barnom, Leafiara agrees, "Exactly."

Roelon deeply says, "Or be yir dinner fir guests."

Lylia says, "This allows others to go in more readily. After all, the gate is designed to keep things in."

[General] Nairena thinks, "I would think somone would have ripped those gates from the hinges by now."

Speaking to Barnom, Goldstr exclaims, "I would likes to visit yer Landing!"

Barnom drops a bone-shaped sugar cookie.

Leafiara picks up a bone-shaped sugar cookie.

Inck says, "Nothing is free in Elanthia."

Barnom drops a bone-shaped sugar cookie.

Barnom drops a bone-shaped sugar cookie.

Barnom drops a bone-shaped sugar cookie.

Barnom drops a bone-shaped sugar cookie.

Barnom drops a bone-shaped sugar cookie.

Barnom drops a bone-shaped sugar cookie.

Barnom drops a bone-shaped sugar cookie.

Barnom drops a bone-shaped sugar cookie.

Barnom drops a bone-shaped sugar cookie.

Roelon picks up a bone-shaped sugar cookie.

Vaeldrys picks up a bone-shaped sugar cookie.

Barnom drops a bone-shaped sugar cookie.

Barnom drops a bone-shaped sugar cookie.

Elanthil picks up a bone-shaped sugar cookie.

Zolis picks up a bone-shaped sugar cookie.

Inck picks up a bone-shaped sugar cookie.

Desorceri picks up a bone-shaped sugar cookie.

Speaking to Barnom, Raelee asks, "If that gate were to be scrubbed and cleaned... would it disrupt what you just did to the gate?"

Barnom exclaims, "Enjoy!"

Kippe picks up a bone-shaped sugar cookie.

Brigadeena picks up a bone-shaped sugar cookie.

Toporock picks up a bone-shaped sugar cookie.

Brigadeena picks up a bone-shaped sugar cookie.

Akaylas picks up a bone-shaped sugar cookie.

Barnom says, "No."

Barnom looks over at Raelee and shakes his head.

Lylia adds, "And no one learns a thing from putting an end to madness when it is only eccentricity."

Vaeldrys asks, "If I eat this, I'll die, won't I?"

Severine softly says, "His hands.."

Ycelacie honestly says, "I do like you Barnom, but the last time I ate your food it was poisoned."

Brigadeena asks, "Wowsers! who's your baker?"

Elanthil says, "You'll die, anyway, so eat up."

Speaking thoughtfully to her sugar cookie, Leafiara says, "I better save the rest of it and try to figure out how to make one myself."

[General] Pukk thinks, "And in a show of support for the local children, Barnom has placed a bunch of cookies for the children to come get and enjoy. They can also tour the graveyard now too."

Speaking to his sugar cookie, Akaylas says, "Not bad, not great."

Ycelacie says, "So I politely decline this time, I hope you don't think I am being rude."

Drektor says, "These cookies were on the ground.. we arent all sylphs."

Speaking deeply to Vaeldrys, Roelon says, "Ah drank coffee he served once. Ah had quite an interestin' dream."

The voice of Gutstorm drunkenly slurs, "5 shecond rool."

Barnom exclaims, "Well, merry night to you all!"

Desorceri offers Barnom a small multihued candy.

Desorceri says, "Trade."

Barnom says, "I should go see how our new guests are settling in."

Vaeldrys says, "It was lovely to meet you Barnom. I've heard so many tales."

Pukk says, "Free cookies, making it easier to get into the graveyard, love puns...I am so going to vote for him now."

Speaking to Solmarar, Nitos says, "Big day for you."

Inck says, "Smell ya later."

Leafiara confesses, "Looking forward to seeing the new Lich's Landing."

Speaking to Barnom, Pietra says, "Well, thank you for lubing up the gate. And the cookies."

Barnom shakes some leftover spittle from his bony hands then skips off into the night.