Elanthian Vogue: Olaesta 5119
This Month's Edition
Editor: The Editorial Team in the absence of Rohese Bayvel-Timsh'l
The team at Elanthian Vogue have been extremely busy since our last edition and have a lot of exciting news to share. First, we are both relieved and happy to announce that our Editor-in-Chief has returned and will be taking up the reins again.
In the meantime, we have made a start on our plans for this year's FashionCon and will shortly be seeking input from all interested parties. A recent fundraising auction, hosted and sponsored by Elanthian Elegance, raised a staggering amount of silvers for both Mayor Lylia's re-election campaign and FashionCon, so it’s clear that there is still an appetite for all things fashion-related!
Speaking of fundraising, earlier this year, in our Lormesta edition, we published an article about charitable giving and, in particular, mentioned a certain philanthropist by the name of Maylan. Since then, Maylan has gained considerable fame by entering the political arena and one of our more intrepid reporters was able to track her down to find out more about the lifestyle of those less fortunate.
With so much to cover in one publication, we'll stop there and launch right in!
A Pirate's Life for Me!
You see Land Pirate Maylan the Wench. She appears to be an Aelotoi of the Mrae'ni Clan. She is of a slight height and has a thin, wiry frame. She appears to be in the spring of life. She has completely solid, vivid jade eyes and mocha-freckled, lightly tanned skin. She has raggedly cut, frizzy raven-sheened hair worn in a single snarled sailor's knot braid entwined with feathers. She has a narrow face, a gently sloped nose and a pointed chin. She has a small gap between her front teeth. She has a discolored mop-fringed pegleg for a leg. She has a pair of stunted, dark-veined pearly wings speckled with jade splotches. She has a black-inked polar bear paw print on her wrist, and a sun-shaped gold stud in her right nostril. She is in good shape. She is wearing a frayed patchwork bandana secured with a tight knot, a high-collared cream flyrsilk toqua embroidered with shackled kiramon devouring each other, a dusky leather bandolier over a scarlet silk saephua splattered in crusted green muck stains, a vibrant misshapen belt created from knotted bandanas, a colorful handkerchief skirt with an asymmetric hem, some ivory cotton stockings embroidered with frolicking piglets, and some braided knotwork rope sandals.
What can one say about Maylan without casting unfair aspersions on her choice of lifestyle? This writer has decided to leave it up to the wench herself, to tell you about Maylan.
"To be a Land Pirate is to be a Maylan. So, the life of a Land Pirate is the life of me: Land Pirate Maylan, the Wench of Wehnimer’s Landing. A Maylan can be many things, but a Land Pirate will never be anything other than a Maylan."
I'm not sure that the copious amounts of alcohol consumed before, during, and after our interview helped with the clarity of her answers (or my note taking), but it certainly made for a very enjoyable experience. I started out, whilst still fairly sober, by trying to understand what makes her tick – or more precisely hiccup - as she strives to survive in the harsh world of Elanthia.
"I make my way in the world by mopping all manner of floors, particularly the floors in Goblyn's pie shop (which are delicious floors), and the floors in Nonie’s shop up in Icemule. So, I s’pose you could say that mopping skills are a big part of the Land Pirating lifestyle."
It became a little difficult at this point to make coherent notes due to a mishap with a mug of ale and a tenacious chinchilla who seemed rather taken with my quill. (I shall be seeking a replacement from its owner in due course.) Amidst all of the hilarity, however, I did manage to glean from her that her dearest friend was in fact the rather obese, crepuscular rodent.
"Chinchilla friends are an essential component of Land Pirating. If you do not have a chinchilla friend, I deem you unworthy of the title. Chinchillas are created when a cat falls in love with a rat and they have a baby. Here is a true fact about chinchillas: they can unhinge their jaws in order to cool off their heads. This is why they are called chin-chillas. My chinchilla friend is my very best friend in the world, and I keep him good and healthy by feeding him table scraps."
Another round of drinks and several hearty cries of "HARRR" later, we’re onto the subject of the sea. An obvious subject for a pirate, you might think, but again Maylan is not just any pirate, she’s a self-proclaimed "land" pirate, and her thoughts on the big blue are somewhat unusual.
"No, no, I do not like the water. The sea is a scary bad place that nobody should ever visit. Even a bathtub makes me nervous, which is why I never bathe. I do, however, enjoy the company of many fine sailors and other seafaring folk. I like to find a big burly fella to swash my buckle every now and again, if you catch my drift. And you will assuredly catch my drift, because I smell real bad and have excellent aim."
Avoiding the thunderous thump of her mop-fringed pegleg as it hit the floor in rapid succession, I did catch her drift and assured her I am neither burly or seafaring!
"Dry land is far superior to water in every way. When you sleep on it, it doesn’t move. And, you can eat it! It is true that you cannot drink land, I’ll ‘cede that point. But who likes to drink water anyway? Water is the absolute worst liquid you could ever imagine drinking."
Encouraging her to continue, I ordered another round of drinks from the nearby barmaid, foolishly attempting to substitute mine with a glass of water to avoid the ensuing hangover.
"What is wrong with you, drinking all that water when whiskey and ale exist? You are a heathen, and you should feel bad about yourself. Spit out that water. Tsk tsk tsk."
Feeling suitably chastised, I downed yet another whiskey, conscious of both Maylan's slack-jawed grin and a similar amused expression on the face of the aforementioned barmaid. Attempting to shake off the fuzziness now clouding my vision, I retrieved my chewed quill from the chinchilla again and turned to a more serious subject - the one I was actually being paid to write about - that of her philanthropic efforts.
"I’ve been trying to dig a damn garden for a good long while now. A garden would be a very fine way to feed the Shanty Town folk, wouldn't you say? I would say so, yes. But the planning is so tied up in a maze of bureaucratic ponderings, that I fear it will never become a reality. The townsfolk chipped in a hefty sum to help get the community garden off the ground. Then we had to pay even more to put the garden back on the ground, because that’s where gardens belong. So, you can get your hoity-toity air garden out of my sight."
Clearly exasperated by both the prominent point of my ears and slow pace of alcohol consumption, she thumped her pegleg again but I was just able to dodge its uncanny aim.
"The remaining funds are being used to bribe the proper officials in order to clear the garden permitting. At least that’s what this fella who hangs out behind Helga’s told me. He told me if I paid him his weight in silvers, he’d expedite the permit approval. His name is Edwinder and he has two teeth, so I call him Toofer. He’s a nice fella, and decent in the sack to boot. HARRRR!"
Moving swiftly on, I felt it was apropos to discuss something a little less controversial and salacious, opting instead to ask about her decision to run for office. In hindsight, it was probably a bad idea given the frantic swatting of something unseen and subsequent cursing but alcohol does have a tendency to impede any rational thoughts (a warning to all our readers).
"I just wanted to sit on that damn desk! Miss Lylia never lets me sit on it, and it’s oh so very comfortable. I figured if I was Mayor, I could sit on it anytime I please. Sometimes I sneak in there when she’s away on official Mayor-type business and I sit on that desk real good. Then I get sleepy and maybe take a nap under the desk where it’s all warm and cozy and dark. Sometimes I bring in a little dirt so my chinchilla friend can take a dirt bath. Chinchillas like dirt bathes. So do Maylans. Then I hide the dirt under the rugs, otherwise Lylia might be cross."
Not wishing to stop her mid-flow, as Maylan became quite insistent at this point, I allowed her to continue while I wrestled my quill from the pesky rodent yet again. Brushing at the shoulder of her flysilk toque with a disaffected nonchalance, sending a flurry of hissing peacock-hued embers into the air around her, she arched a single brow at me and launched into her next proposition.
"If I were Mayor, I’d keep the absinthe, that's one thing she’s gotten right. If you’ve never sampled the Mayor’s absinthe, do stop by the next time you’re in town. I’ll show you how to sneak in, then we can refill the bottles with water so as nobody notices. I dare say if yo’ve never sipped on absinthe while taking a dirt bath, you’ve never truly lived."
At this point, I gave up trying to form any coherent questions and simply joined her in a bawdy song about sailors, which involved much eyebrow wiggling and pegleg thumping – or in my case, foot stomping.
Whilst the garrulous Maylan may not appear on our glossy pages as a representative of the latest fashion trends, she has found a place in the hearts of all - okay, not all, but most of - the Editorial Team, who would be more than happy to go drinking with her again – perhaps in the Mayor’s Office next time! HARRR!
Having enjoyed an evening in a local bar with the loquacious Land Pirate (and suffering the consequences for days after), our thoughts turned to where people like to hang out and the reasons why. A poll of Elanthians revealed some rather salubrious locations with questionable drinking habits but in the spirit (pun intended) of being an informative publication, we thought we would share the results!
A clear favorite seems to be Plur’s Pub in the Moonshine Manor with several endorsements from citizens of Wehnimer's Landing. One resident, in particular, by the name of Darcena took time out to tell our Landing pollster a little more.
"Plur's Pub, of course. There's spit on the pub floor, diapers in the fishing pond, and an overwhelmingly stinky dwarf helps run it but the tankard of murky black stout is thick and refreshing. My favorite bartender, Jahkot, tells the funniest stories about the frequent patrons. The elven maidens seem to come and go, but there's one I like chatting with. Her favorite thing is to dance in the ballroom. Oh, and there's this spider that likes to come out from behind the dartboard and waggle her legs at me. Her name is Claudette."
The Krawling Kraken Bar is also alleged to be a superior drinking establishment but no one would elaborate and our Solhaven pollster was reluctant to venture that far south into the freeport for some reason.
Solhaven was a popular choice overall for bars though, with the Tentacled Tavern and Spirits of the Delta being named several times. The absinthe, Cinder Wasp mead, and exotic sandfire liquor all come highly recommended. When not admiring the freeport bartenders, a rather elegant lady by the name of Ysharra also added that she liked to frequent the Stone Baths in the Landing, being rather fond of their pomegranate liquor and icewine.
We gained an interesting insight into the Whining Elf Bar, located on the west side of the town in the Poor Quarter of Kharam Dzu. "Deliciously" racist against elves, it has a reputation of kicking people out before they've even had a chance to order but oddly enough, that makes it a popular choice of venue for Melivn, who kindly spoke to another of our pollsters.
When it comes to the east side of the Dragonspine, one notable lady called Elysia made of point of saying that she considered it rude to make her choose just one beverage. So, we allowed her to expand her options, which included the brandy-laced tea from the Ta'Vaalor bakery and the elven absinthe from Malwith Inn. On handing over his poll results, our harangued pollster was heard to mutter something about elves, which was shortly followed by another adding that he spoke to a scholarly-type lady who refused to identify herself yet pointedly claimed to live on tea or coffee and preferred to do so alone, before walking away with a peculiar looking owl in tow.
Outside of drinking establishments, another elf – who wished to remain anonymous - went as far as to say:
"There is this amazing wine from an old Illistim vineyard that is impossible to get. There is a late 4900s vintage that I would murder for a bottle."
Seems some will go to any lengths to enjoy their favorite tipple.
Our fourth style steal in the series looks at the outfit choices of pirates and smugglers. Erring on the side of practicality and clandestinity, one might argue that if you actually notice what a brigand is wearing it negates the effectiveness of the style in the first place but bear with us on this one; we’re looking to steal the fashionable nuances not the intent of their garb.
The infamous merchant, Cidolfhus, is known for his "pirate" wares and promotes the use of bandanas for those looking to replicate his rugged appearance. These are often made available in Bloodriven Village, so be on the look out for the next opportunity to pick one up.
If a bandana isn’t to your liking, then how about a special pair of balenite-ringed ebony hairsticks from the Reim Base Camp, or a simple black and white turban for the bargain price of 200 silvers from the Shop of Abdul on River's Rest – home of the smuggler! Whilst there, check out Bertha Crabbe's Stuff and Such, Sem's Salvaged, and the General Store for all manner of quality merchandise, completing your look with a dark leather vest, breeches, and perhaps a handy duffel bag or a small mesh rope bag.
I would also recommend you take the oversea route via the Live Bait between River's Rest and Solhaven to avail yourself of its onboard speciality shop and pick up all the necessary accessories: eyepatch, waist sash, gloves, and suitable weaponry – strictly for effect, of course! And don’t let Knaydl intimidate you. When back in Solhaven, stop by the Sea Chest for some knee-high buccaneer's boots to complete the ensemble or, should your name happen to be Maylan, add to your pegleg collection.
Elanthian Vogue are delighted to announce the opening of Vogue Studio, our official boutique in Ta'Illistim’s Mzaarine Bazaar. The intention is to feature the latest fashions in the front room (Today) with a display mannequin promoting a particular look, and an insight into future possible trends in the east wing (Tomorrow). At the end of each season, the Studio will hold a clearance sale in the west wing (Yesterday).
Last month's edition highlighted the colors for spring into summer and featured chocolate. Intense and enveloping, it's impossible to resist, especially when matched with a luxurious fur stole.
On the mannequin you see a full-faced mink stole lined with ebon charmeuse, a strapless chocolate velvet gown skirted with ruffled downswept wings of organza, and a pair of chocolate brown organza high-heeled sandals.
Editor’s Note: If you would like us to promote a favorite boutique or shop that you own or frequent, please get in touch and we will endeavor to feature it in a future edition.
Mark those calendars! FashionCon 5119, a 2-day conference to celebrate fashion, comes to Ta'Illistim in early Phoenatos! Expect a weekend filled with lectures, workshops and discussion groups, as well as the opportunity to socialise with fellow delegates at parties and other fun events.
Organisations who are interested in participating and hosting events during the weekend are encouraged to complete a REGISTRATION FORM as soon as possible.
And if the prospect of mingling with fashionably like-minded people isn’t enough, there is the added incentive of a delegate pack filled with fashionable goodies!